Worst Christmas Songs
December 15th, 2006
Filed under: General
Most the radio stations, restuarants, and stores around here have switched to Christmas music, 24/7. Thought it’s overkill, I can survive it…for the most part. I remain convinced that these are the worst two Christmas songs ever:
- Little Saint Nick
Contains the stupidest line of any Christmas song: Christmas comes this time each year. - The Christmas Shoes
You need an extra dose of insulin just to listen to this song. And the radio was playing the “special version” where a choir of young girls joins awkwardly in the singing.
To my favorites, this year add “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses, a more-or-less one hit wonder band known best for “I Know What Boys Like.”
December 16th, 2006 at 4:06 am
I’ll fight you. I’ve been running “novelty” Christmas songs before the play I directed, and compared to either “I Want a Hippoptamus for Christmas,” “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” or any version of that damn “Little Drummer Boy” (even the one on “The Office” last night), those three are Beethoven’s Ninth.
December 16th, 2006 at 4:26 am
No, I’m sorry, “The Christmas Shoes” is a war crime. It’s expressly forbidden under Article VII of the Geneva Conventions. “The Little Drummer Boy” was kind of its prototype, but it still has some redeeming features (namely, a catchy chorus, and a version by David Bowie & Bing Crosby). “Christmas Shoes” is pure, distilled evil, coated in more sugar than a year’s supply of Frosted Flakes.
December 16th, 2006 at 11:06 am
Now, did you say that “Wrapping about Christmas” was your least favorite or one of your favorite Christmas songs?
‘Cause “Wrapping about Christmas” rocks the house.
December 16th, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Official Comment
Wrapping is one of my favorites, along with the Bowie/Crosby Drummer Boy Tom mentioned.
December 16th, 2006 at 3:35 pm
My three year old nephew runs around the house singing “Christmas comes one time this year,” which is now the way I sing that song. It makes me nostalgic for the days when Christmas came many times a year.
All Christmas songs are terrible in the surgical ICU at midnight.
December 16th, 2006 at 7:39 pm
I don’t believe I’ve heard ‘the Christmas Shoes’ here in Australia. Perhaps the brave men and women of the Customs Service have kept it out of the country. Fingers crossed.
I reckon ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ is one of the worst. Asinine, and terribly catchy.
My favourite is ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen’, the only carol I know that refers expressly to Satan. And the grim, comfortless, joyless tone of the line ‘oh, tidings of comfort and joy’ – I love it.
December 17th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Dudes: The best christmas song ever is “The 12 drugs of Christmas!”
December 17th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
The worst I’ve heard was the other day in the supermarket, with a Freddie Mercury sound-alike singing “Thank God its Christmas”, the lyrics of which appeared to be the title. With a few extra lines tossed in about it being Christmas night and presents and parcels. I’m not religious, but this seemed a very odd song since it was celebrating being with family and all at Christmas, and thanking God for it, but leaving out the reason… So a pointless message and dull lyrics. Probably the ideal thing to play in a supermarket.
December 18th, 2006 at 8:36 am
I’m lucky enough never to have heard ‘Christmas Shoes’, although I’ve heard enough about it to endorse any statements about its sucktacularity. But has no-one considered the banality of the lyrics to ‘O Christmas Tree’?
O Christmas tree
O Christmas tree
How lovely are thy branches
Maybe it works better in German.
December 18th, 2006 at 9:51 am
Hate, Hate, HATE!!!
“The Christmas Shoes” is an atrocity!
The first time I heard it I was all misty-eyed and near tears.
Then…I got angry.
I HATE it when “they” push the emotional buttons on me.
I’m a fairly sensitive guy as it is, and I get misty over all sorts of stuff – naturally, IF it’s warranted.
THIS piece of drek does it all on purpose, with MALICE!
Then, I sat and listened to it again.
Suddenly the inner cynic saved me:
The kid’s a SCAM-artist.
He’s hitting the guy behind him up for the extra money to pay for the shoes (because all the kid has is a sack of pennies).
So the sap behind him ponies up the rest of the loot and the kid gets the shoes.
You KNOW that later on the kid will RETURN the shoes and get ALL the cash back and spend that in the arcade.
Listen to it in THAT light and it’ll maintain your sanity.
~P~
P-TOR
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