Polite Dissent

“Hello Mr. Crusher. I’m Adam Kimberly with the A-1 Job Placement Service. I understand you’re looking for a job. What skills do you have to offer?”
“Well, I’m pretty good at intimidation and beating people up.”
“Excellent. Do you have any weapon skills?”
“Yeah. I’m an OK shot with a pistol, but I’m real good with a baseball bat or a lead pipe.”
“How about skulking?”
“So-so. I know how to skulk, but it’s not one of my better skills. I’m more of a direct action kind of guy; threats and violence are more my areas of expertise.”
“What are your feeling on individual thought and initiative?”
“Huh?”
“I think we have something for you. It turns out that internationally-known villain Dr. Browbeater is looking for some new thugs. You’d be perfect for the job.”
“Browbeater. Yeah I heard o’ that guy. Wasn’t he put in jail by Captain Heroic?”
“He was let loose on a technicality. Apparently he’s the ruler of some small nation so he has diplomatic immunity.”
“Oh. Were there any complaints from his previous thugs?”
“No. No complaints whatsoever.”
“Could I talk to one of his previous thugs? Get a handle what the job would be like?”
“Umm, no. That isn’t possible.”
“Wait…he isn’t one of those guys who kills his underlings when they mess up or his plans go wrong, is he?”
“Umm…there may be a waiver or two you’ll need to sign. But the pay is good, and there’s a retirement plan.”
“What good is a retirement plan if I’m floating face down in the river?”
“Did I mention the excellent medical insurance?”
“Medical insurance? Is there a dress code?”
“You’re expected to wear black clothes and sunglasses at all times. Even at night. Dr. Browbeater will cover the costs of the uniform, of course.”
“Well, that does sound pretty good. Where do I sign?”