Polite Dissent

With a couple of big auto races coming up this weekend, I thought it would be a good time to take a look at NASCAR Heroes #3, the final part of the “origin” story of the eponymous NASCAR Heroes.

First, be warned: this is a bad comic — even worse than the first issue. Admittedly, the second issue was a little better, but with the third issue the quality slips and the publisher has finally reached that elusive goal: the car crash comic — a comic so bad, you just have to read it.

For those of you coming in late, the villainous Jack Diesel (NASCAR’s top driver — who also just happens to be an evil scientist) was running secret experiments when a lab explosion took place, exposing himself — as well as his rival team next door — to a mysterious purple radiation. Thanks to the physics of comic book radiation, everyone involved gained a super-power of one sort or another, and our hero James Dashiell, once a lowly janitor, becomes the mysterious masked racer “Dash” and savior of the previously last place Team Flatstock Racing (actually, it’s the “Team Kung Fu Grip” this time around, but I can’t type that with a straight face).

The first two issues showcased various races between Dash and Diesel as they competed for the NASCAR title. At each race, Diesel would pull some underhanded trick in an attempt to win, and each and every time, Dash would still manage to triumph. Not unexpectedly — given Diesel’s overly melodramatic personality — these losses did not sit well and at the end of issue #2 he decided to take revenge by trapping Team Flatstock in an old junkyard, kidnapping their boss Astor, and throwing their race car into orbit.

Through judicious use of their super-powers, Team Flatstock manages to cage the giant radioactive junkyard dog (seriously), escape the trap, and make it back to the race track just in time to compete in the final and deciding race of the season. Meanwhile, Diesel has stashed Astor in his car’s trunk, and taunts Dash as the race progresses. Luckily, Astor uses her powers to escape (apparently Diesel failed Super-Villains 101: Hostages With Super-Powers Can Easily Escape. Also, race cars don’t have trunks). This doesn’t stop Diesel: he uses a special magnet (conveniently labeled “Diesel Industries Magnetic Disruptor”) to rip the tire off Dash’s car. Of course, he hadn’t counted on Zip, Dash’s super-fast team-mate, who runs out on the track to fix the tire (without anyone noticing, of course. Or without any tools). Frustrated, Diesel informs Dash that he’s hidden a bomb in the stands. Dash and his teammates stop to look for the bomb only to discover it was just a trick to lure Dash out of his car so that Diesel can win the race. No such luck, however. Astor has climbed into the car and passes Diesel on the last lap, taking delight in informing him that not only has he lost the race and the championship, but that he was beaten by a girl.

Later, as Team Kung-Fu Grip is relaxing, savoring their success, and lamenting the loss of their orbiting race car, a strange and futuristic-looking scientist suddenly appears and returns their missing car. And with this abrupt and unexplained entrance, the story ends.

As before, the story is an uncomfortable mix of super-hero cliches and racing action that is sure to satisfy fans of neither. The super-hero aspect takes the worst excesses of the Silver Age (Giant animals! Power-giving radiation! Mad scientists!) and the ’90s (facial tattoos) but does nothing new or interesting with them. The racing scenes are so far removed from reality that one suspects the writers have never actually watched a NASCAR race. The art shows a noticeable decline in quality this issue, most likely because the publisher was hurrying to get the comic out the door in time for this years 50th anniversary of the Daytona 500 (and to be fair, they succeeded; I’m just late in reviewing it).

The last few pages of the comic is a surprisingly well done and nicely illustrated history of the inaugural running of the Daytona 500, famous for a photo finish that took officials three days to decide on a winner (Lee Petty, by the way).

Previous NASCAR posts: Review of NASCAR Heroes #1 Review of NASCAR Heroes #2 A History of Comics and NASCAR