The Dangers of…Cardochine
Cardochine is one of those drugs that instantly causes a fatal heart attack. Like all the drugs in this class, it shares two characteristics:
It only exists in the world of comic books, television shows, and mystery novels.A murderer who uses it is guaranteed to die from the same drug by the end of the story.
When aging stage actor Namus Shane tires of his current leading lady, he kills her with a dose of Cardochine and replaces her with a younger actress. He’s done this many times, and nobody seems to have any suspicions, even though Shane seems to be killing actresses left and right, sometimes two or three in the same week.
Luckily, the boyfriend of Kitty Martin — the young actress who Shane has his eye on as his next conquest — has appropriated some of the drugged wine that Shane uses and given it to his friend Bob Benton to evaluate. Bob Benton is not just the secret identity of the super-hero Black Terror, but he is also a super-pharmacist, able to dispense pharmaceutical knowledge faster than a speeding bullet.
Bob detects the deadly drug in the wine and suspects that Kitty will be its next victim. He changes into costume and confronts Shane at the theater. Trying to escape, Shane flees across the catwalk high over the stage, but slips and falls all the way to the ground. He manages to survive the fall, suffering just a mild concussion. A well-meaning stage hand rushes to his side and gives him a drink to revive him. Unfortunately, the drink he offers is the poisoned wine meant for Kitty, and Shane dies of a heart attack, a victim of his own drug (or maybe a victim of fatal irony, in comic books it’s sometimes hard to tell the difference).
Take Home Message: Don’t date younger actresses then try to kill them. Look both ways before crossing the catwalk. Don’t mess with drugs that cause instant fatal heart attacks because you’ll die of irony.
October 17th, 2008 at 1:48 am
What about potassium chloride? Isn’t that a real compound which causes a heart attack? (granted using a much, much larger dose than what comic book villains generally use)
October 17th, 2008 at 1:59 am
Isn’t pure nicotine also more or less in the guaranteed instant heart attack range? And, if you’re victim’s a heavy smoker, less likely to be picked up? :) Admittedly, I speak from little more experience than what I’ve seen in literature.
October 17th, 2008 at 3:41 am
Since he sees they’re changing into the Terror Twins does that mean they both wear the exact same costume? To confuse and frighten their opponents, like the Marvel comics z-listers the Brothers Grimm?
October 17th, 2008 at 9:11 am
If it’s only use is to cause an instant heart attack, isn’t it really more appropriate to call it a poison or toxin?
October 17th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
A murderer who uses it is guaranteed to die from the same drug by the end of the story.
Gee, you’d think the antidote would be an injection of iron-y.
October 17th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
A murderer who uses it is guaranteed to die from the same drug by the end of the story.
Gee, you’d think the antidote would be an injection of iron-y.
Because, as we know from Superman if a little is fatal, a lot… causes the body to build up an immunity.
Or is that only on Earth-Bob?
October 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
“Irony…Number one killer of Comic villains.”
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
Like iocaine (as per The Princess Bride). As with the irony, maybe the actor should have read the Evil Overlord lists.
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
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