Jor-El’s Super-Power Pills
A new masked and super-powered bank robber appears in Metropolis and Superman tracks him to his lair only to find that the robber had been waiting for him with a chunk of kryptonite.
A few months before, our robber realized that if he wanted to be a successful criminal in Metropolis, he needed to find some kryptonite. He spent months tracking down every meteor1 that landed nearby, looking for elusive chemical. He lucked out: not only did he find kryptonite, but he also found a box with some pills in the meteor. There is a note with the pills that reads “These radioactive capsules to be used only if needed to renew our super-powers on Earth. [Signed] Jor-El”
The robber took the kryptonite-embedded box back to his lair. He swallowed one of the pills, gained super-powers, and went on a crime spree. Then he lured Superman to his hideout and exposed him to the kryptonite. Leaving the Man of Steel for dead2, the criminal flies off to commit more robberies.
Of course, Superman’s not quite dead yet — he takes his last bit of energy and uses his heat vision to break the water pipe in the ceiling, sending water cascading down on the box of pills, washing all the kryptonite away3. Able to stand up again, Superman grabs the box of pills and swallows one, figuring he needs the super-powers they’ll provide since his have been stolen by the kryptonite. Too late, he discovers that some kryptonite dust had gotten in the pills when Krypton exploded — the same explosion which sent the box to Earth. Now he’ll be completely powerless until the chemical leaves his system4.
Thinking quickly, Superman calls Batman and Robin. When the duo shows up, he gives them each one of the super-power pills, and they fly off to capture the robber. Since they’re not used to their new powers, not only do they let the villain escape, but they cause some serious property damage. Undeterred, Superman trains them in the use of their powers and they fly off again to capture the robber.
Meanwhile, Superman — using his crafty reporter skills — has discovered the robber’s new lair. Unfortunately, the robber catches Superman in his hideout and pulls out a gun, shooting him in the chest. About this time, Batman and Robin arrive and capture the villain, who is still gloating over Superman’s body. Could the Man of Steel be dead? Of course not. It turns out that while Superman may have been powerless, his suit was still invulnerable and it blocked the bullet, saving Superman’s life. It’s all a moot point now anyway, as the kryptonite has worn off and Superman has regained his powers. He gives the super-power pills to Batman who promises to keep them safely hidden away in the Bat-cave5.
Notes:
1. Yes, technically he was searching for a meteorite, not a meteor, but I’m sticking with what’s written in the comic for this review.
2. If I were a criminal who gained his super-powers through a pill, I would take the pills with me instead of leaving them behind. Sure, leave the kryptonite-encrusted box — just take the pills.
3. Apparently kryptonite is water soluble.
4. Kryptonite or not, shouldn’t the pills have given Superman super-powers? They were developed to give Kryptonians who lost their powers (like Superman) temporary powers. He took one after losing his powers temporarily from kryptonite exposure, so why should more kyrptonite dust in the pills stop them from working? It’s not like they’re affected by kryptonite — Batman and Robin got powers despite the kryptonite in the pills.
5. As far as we know, the pills are still there. Or at least, all but one of the pills…
November 2nd, 2009 at 4:51 am
Why does Space Ghost need super-power pills anyway?
November 2nd, 2009 at 10:57 am
Classic why-waste-the-power-doing-bank-robbery problem. If he wanted money, why not start making coal into diamonds? Or if he didn’t know about that, retrieve some sunken treasure. Or super-speed gold mining. There have to be a huge number of ways to use even short-term powers to make a legal fortune. Heck, sell a few of the pills, they’ve got to worth a fortune themselves.
November 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
In that panel I see Superman, Batman, Space Ghost, what is presumably the back of Robin’s head, and … random lady? Is that Lois?
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Hmm… the box says the pills are to “renew *our* superpowers on Earth,” the ones Kryptonians acquire from exposure to a yellow sun, not simply to bestow superpowers, which implies that the pills counteract impediments to that specific quirk of Kryptonian physiology. Since the robber (and Batman and Robin) wouldn’t react to yellow-sun radiation the way Superman does, wouldn’t the pills have just given them all cancer, or at least radiation sickness?
Then again, as others have pointed out, that’s obviously Space Ghost up there, so we shouldn’t expect brilliant planning. He’s probably been using his “intelli-hancer” shampoo again…
November 2nd, 2009 at 6:46 pm
“Of course, Superman’s not quite dead yet — he takes his last bit of energy and uses his heat vision to break the water pipe in the ceiling,”
This is such a cop-out. There’s always a “last bit of energy”. Is that the best the writers can come up with Smallville uses the “annoying technique” constantly. Can you say “Deus ex machina”?
Also, why is the villain in a cave? Really? A cave? Talk about unpractical and uncozy. Wouldn’t, say, a basement or an industrial building be better?
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Craig did remove one of the pills at some point and hid it under a lead vat at an abandoned chemical plant. A few issues later, he escaped from prison and set out to retrieve the pill. Batwoman stopped him and swallowed the pill herself. Hijinks ensued.
November 2nd, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Ha. I remember reading this story — or, more accurately, a reprint of it, I suspect. Even at that tender age, the “invulnerable costume” bit set my disbelief sense a-tingling. “Wait,” I thought, “the suit is invulnerable, but the sheer impact would have killed Supes, particularly without anything else between the suit and him to distribute the impact.” Alas, back then there was no Internet with whom to share my observation. So thanks for letting me get that “off my chest,” as it were, decades later. Of course, Seth’s objection makes much more sense, but THAT never occurred to me. Kids.
November 2nd, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Official Comment
Jim,
Shhhhh. You’re giving away my post for Wednesday…
November 2nd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Then again, why care about money if you have kryptonian superpowers?
You probably don’t feel hungry, don’t get sick, you can travel wherever and whenever you want. You can travel through time, vibrate through solids (at least for the Silver Age Superman), see through walls and other flimsier barriers with x-ray…
I would wake up at home, eat breakfast in Paris, spend my morning in a greek beach, ride an Indian elephant in the afternoon, and go to a NY club in the evening…
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:32 am
I never understood the whole power-stealing deal, anyway. How is it that a person’s physical abilities could be removed from them and used by someone else?
It just seems to treat someone’s ability to run fast or do math as though it were a physical object that could be removed and used by another person. Except that it doesn’t take away the ability completely; just the part that makes them slightly better than average.
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:09 am
@Alberto – That was one of the things I liked about the movie Jumper (haven’t read the book, although I’ve heard it’s even better). The main character didn’t decide to go out and do great things with his power. Rather, he spent the next year or so of his life in sybaritic pleasure.
November 5th, 2009 at 12:25 am
I thought Superman’s clothes were only invulnerable because of his ‘invincible aura’? So if his powers went away, so did the invincibility it offered his clothes?
November 5th, 2009 at 1:38 am
Actually, Ashton, that was a post-Crisis invention. In the original comics, pretty much anything that came from Krypton became invulnerable/indestructable under Earth’s yellow sun. The only exceptions were Kryptonite and the rocket ship carrying Kal-El which popped open upon impact.
In spite of that, the Silver Age comics had the Kent family cannibalize the rocket ship for parts and materials to make Superman’s outfit as indestructible as he was: his costume was made by Ma Kent from the blankets baby Kal-El was wrapped in, his belt was the spaceship’s seat belt, glass from the windows was used to make Clark Kent’s glasses (which is why he can use his heat vision while wearing his glasses without melting them), etc.
November 5th, 2009 at 4:25 am
In my day, the Superman costume itself was made of indestructible Kryptonian bedding from baby Kal-El’s spaceship. I dare say the explanations have changed over the years.
November 6th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Lunar: the problem with the rocket was that its fuel was also from Krypton, and thus super explosive on Earth.
Yes, our yellow sun makes Kryptonian explosives more explodey.
November 7th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I bow to your superior wisdom, Matthew. It’s admittedly been a while since I’ve reread the Silver Age doubletalk/technobabble explanation for that stuff, so I’m a bit fuzzy on it. :)
I’ll never forget how Peter David mocked Supergirl’s Silver Age origin story towards the end of his run on that title. It was absolutely hilarious.
November 8th, 2009 at 11:00 am
@Sean Duggan: Just to be clear, I mentioned what I would if I were a common crook: why have the trouble robbing instead of just enjoying the powers.
If it were real me, I would probably use them to help people or something.
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