Thor #600: A Medical Review (Day 1 of “Pick on Donald Blake Week”)
March 15th, 2010

Sorry Doc, but you don’t treat a black eye by putting some sort of cream on it. Think of it this way: a black eye is essentially a bruise around the eye — and when do you put anything on a bruise? The real treatment of a black eye is easy: ice, and time. That’s it. Nothing fancy needed.
(Now in his defense, I guess the skin around the eye could have been broken open by the punch, and Blake might be putting some sort of antibacterial ointment on it, but that’s still a stretch).
March 15th, 2010 at 8:27 am
Asgardian Healing Salve? (In convenient tube form!)
March 15th, 2010 at 10:22 am
Does bruise cream not make the bruise less prominent? I mean, I wouldn’t put it past skincare companies to have made that up, but my friends swear it works. (Although even if it works it’s probably not Don’s job to be applying it.)
March 15th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Although even if it works it’s probably not Don’s job to be applying it
Don Blake is just a shill for Big Pharma!
March 15th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
$70?
Kid’s getting off cheep…..
*grumbles*
March 15th, 2010 at 10:08 pm
That Allergy! Doesn’t he ever learn! Still, it’s nice that he’s grown some more hair. Maybe the Human Growth Hormone is starting to kick in..
March 17th, 2010 at 2:24 am
Ice? Nonsense! I have it on good authority from dozens of old tv shows and cartoons that the best treatment is a nice piece of raw steak held over the black eye.
The coldness of the steak acts like the ice does with the added benefit of the raw meat drawing the bad blood out of the bruise.
Really! ;->
March 22nd, 2010 at 11:42 am
When I was young and got a knock in the eye my mom used to rub vanilla extract around the eye, I swear it really did reduce the swelling but that may just be my faulty memory…
Smelled great though.
Leave a Reply
Contact Me
About
Subscribe:
The Best Of...
Special Topics
Archives
Categories
Twitter
See Also
Comic Blogs
Medical/Science Blogs
Currently Reading
Arbitrarily Interesting Medical Condition
Syndrome
The Net:
Contents may have settled during shipping. Past results are no guarantee of future performance. No animals were harmed during the production of this product. Void where prohibited by law. All rights reserved. Not valid with other offers or specials. Professional driver on a closed track. Your financial institution may impose other fees. All models are over 18 years of age. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Results not typical. Many suitcases look alike. 18% gratuity added to tables of six or more.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
© 2004-2012 Polite Dissent. Powered by WordPress