Polite Dissent

It’s Friday, so that means it’s Lois Lane day here at Polite Dissent. Today’s comic is Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #43, which features Lois’s first appearance as a volunteer nurse (because her life wasn’t busy enough being a reporter and Superman-stalker).

Daily Planet Editor-in-Chief Perry White strolls into his office, trips over some photography props, and breaks his leg. Slamming his fist on the desk in frustration, he breaks his wrist too. He is admitted to the local hospital for treatment (though I’d suggest some anger management classes might be in order too).

As she heads to the hospital to begin her shift as a volunteer nurse, Lois glances at Perry:

I only hope I don’t have you as a patient you cantankerous old slave-driver!

Perry sets up a mini-newsroom at his bedside. His sends Clark Kent to track down the 14-Karat Gang, a group of criminals who are responsible for a number of brazen art thefts in the city.

A young man in an iron lung is wheeled into the room. An Army general walks in and explains to Perry that the young patient, Lieutenant Hunt, is a war hero and a top agent. He was shot with an experimental bullet by an enemy agent. No American surgeon can remove the bullet, only a specialist in Mexico City can save his life. In the meantime, he needs to be hidden from enemy spies and the general figures being in the same room with Perry would be best. The general shows Perry a (badly underexposed) x-ray that allegedly shows the bullet lodged near the lung. Lieutenant Hunt needs the iron lung because the bullet “is lodged in a vital spot, affecting his ability to breathe.” (It’s probably a phrenic nerve injury, though that wouldn’t get better after surgery.)

The lieutenant is charming and Lois is drawn to him. She reads to him and he draws pictures of her. One night, Perry overhears him talking in his sleep, confessing his love for Lois. Perry tells Lois the lieutenant loves her and as a sign of affection she arranges for Superman to fly the lieutenant and his iron lung to the clinic in Mexico.

After he leaves, Lois realizes her mistake. Seeing another patient in an iron lung, she deduces that the lieutenant was a fake because his arms were outside the machine, when they should have been inside. She’s also suspicious that such an accomplished secret agent would talk in his sleep.

She hops a ride on the plane to Mexico and confronts the lieutenant and general. She discovers that they are not soldiers at all, but instead the infamous 14-Karat Gang. They needed a way to get the loot out of the country, so they came up with the iron lung scheme and the lieutenant pretended to fall in love with Lois knowing that she would arrange for Superman to fly him to Mexico. They dump Lois through a conveniently located trap door, but Superman shows up just in time to rescue her and subdue the crooks.

Despite taking place in a hospital, there’s not really much medicine in this issue. Still the comic does a good job highlighting some of the changes that have taken place in the practice of medicine in the forty years since the comic was published.

In today’s world, unless Perry White had a significant fracture that required surgery, he would not have been admitted to the hospital. Forty years ago admissions for broken bones were more common.

Iron lungs are pretty much a thing of the past. First developed in 1928, the artificial breathing machines came to the forefront during the polio epidemic of the 1950s. The heavy unit is closed around the patient with an airtight seal and air pressure expands and compresses the lungs, breathing for the patient. Thankfully the polio vaccine has been extremely successful so these monstrosities aren’t required much nowadays. Technology has also greatly improved and better forms of mechanical ventilation are used currently. In 1963 when this comic was published, it is reasonable that an iron lung would be used. I am just surprised it took Lois so long to realize it was fake and even more surprised that no other nurses or doctors noticed it first.

Thoughts:

1. The “14-Karat Gang” is hardly a flattering name. That’s barely 50% gold. What do they do, steal cheap jewelry from dollar stores? I’d be more impressed by the 24-Karat Gang, or at the very least the 18-Karat Gang.
2. Please explain to me why a soldier trying to hide from enemy agents would be safer in a public hospital compared to a military hospital located on a secure military base. This fact alone should have raised some questions in a trained reporter like Lois.
3. Exactly what war is the lieutenant a “war hero” from? The Korean War was over a decade earlier. There were some “military advisers” and pilots in Viet Nam at this time, but I don’t think anyone was called a “war hero” for being over there since it was still pretty hush-hush at that point. Again, a reporter like Lois should have been suspicious from the start.
4. OK, Lois is safe. But can anything be done about the 14-Karat Gang now that they’re in Mexico? Was there an extradition treaty with Mexico in 1963? Does Superman have any police powers south of the border?