Polite Dissent

16 Responses to “ The Single Most Mind-Numbingly Confusing Medically-Related Panel in Comic Book History ”

1. Shane Bailey
   April 26th, 2005 at 10:55 pm
   

   And here we see the dangers of trying to adhere a comic book universe to our own logic and scientific reasoning.
   Now on to the next exhibit children, where we will see a quantum physicist trying to wrap his head around
   comic book time travel.

2. Scott
   April 26th, 2005 at 11:09 pm
   Official Comment

   It doesn’t just contradict “real world” science, but also comic-book science (such as it is).

   While the authors aren’t quite quantum physicists, but the later chapters of The Science of Superheroes deal with time travel…

3. Aine
   April 27th, 2005 at 6:19 am
   

   I realise that if think about this too much my head will explode but maybe Bizarro be to superman what horses are to humans. Sometimes you inject something into a horsey and what you then get out can be used on humans (see comments about snake venom from your earlier post).

   Or maybe someone should take Abbas’, Lichtman’s and Pober’s “Cellular and Molecular Immunology” and beat the writers to death with it. Personally I am for the latter. Shoddy BASIC biology really gets to me.

   What does superman mean “opposite effects”???? That sentence makes no sense!!!!!

4. John Nowak
   April 27th, 2005 at 6:58 am
   

   But … if the virus was having an effect on Bizarro, doesn’t that mean that Bizarro’s immune system didn’t work on the virus effectively, if at all? And wouldn’t Bizarro’s antibodies make Bizarro sick?

5. bottleHed
   April 27th, 2005 at 8:01 am
   

   Metabolism (n)
   1. The marked and rapid transformation of a larva into an adult that occurs in some animals
   2. The organic processes (in a cell or organism) that are necessary for life

   So, in this case, inverse metabolism = The organic processes (in a cell or organism) that are necessary for death?

   Actually, inverse metabolism would be a good power to have. We’d use our energy to produce food, you know, instead of breaking down food.. Unless we run out of energy..

6. Jer
   April 27th, 2005 at 8:13 am
   

   I want to know what kind of “opposite effects” the virus had on Bizarro. Like, was Superman running a high fever and Bizarro’s temperature dropped by 10 degrees? And what’s a normal temperature for a Bizarro anyway? And wouldn’t Bizarro anti-bodies be viruses or something?

   And you can see that the young person off to the right (is that one of the members of the post-Crisis Legion of Super-girls?) obviously sees the flaw in Supes’s logic too.

   (Sadly, Scott, you have me wanting to find this comic and purchase it now. I love goofy Bizarro stories with their oddball logic, and I haven’t read a truly good one since before the Man of Steel retcon. Please tell me that this story isn’t actually any good so that I don’t have to obsess over finding it somewhere.)

7. Scott
   April 27th, 2005 at 9:59 am
   Official Comment

   Jer,

   The virus “affected” Bizarro by making him stronger instead of weaker (though apparently it would still have killed him…)

   The girl half off-panel is Cir-El the Supergirl “manufactured” by the Futuresmiths. She was around mainly 1 year or so.

8. Aine
   April 27th, 2005 at 11:28 am
   

   So whilst the virus would have given superman your usual flu like symptoms such as fever, less energy and physical weakness, Bizarro’s syptoms were more in line with an adrenaline rush (Stronger! Faster! Having a heart attach?). Y’know, even the dog is distressed by the stupidity of this.

9. David Oakes
   April 27th, 2005 at 11:59 am
   

   Bizi-bodies hate Bizarro viruseses. Make them strong, feed them Bizarro Chicken Soup. But they afraid of plain-old normal virii. Eat them instead.

   Bizarro no have blood type. Bizarro Pal Superman have blood type K. Bizarro veins filled with chunky peanut butter. Yuck!

   [Editor's Note - Due to exposure to Earth's yellow sun, Xarxas - named for Xarx-as, the "Louis Pasteur of Krypton"* - has gained the super-power to infect even the inverse metabolism of a creature like Bizzaro. You see, all proteins have a three dimensional configuration due to hydrogen bonds and sulfer bridges. This allows for two forms of every protein. Superman is of course composed of the Good, or "Dexter" forms, while Bizarro is composed entirely of the Evil or "Sinister" type.]

   (Yes, in Real Life I know my biochemistry, and no, it isn’t that simple. C’mon, you don’t see continuity cops jumping on my chunky peanut butter retcon. Ok, someone probably will…)

   (In all seriousness, there is probably a good case for Bizarro being a plant. I am suprised that neither Moore nor Vietch ever explored that gag during their Swamp Thing runs. Of course, post-Byrne, Bizarro is even more of a mineral. He probably runs on pizo-electricity, and generates sunlight in Superman’s presence. Nothing gets the creative juices flowing like trying to make sense of comic book science!)

10. dwnin
    April 27th, 2005 at 12:50 pm
    

    “Does Bizarro say ‘Bad-Bye’? Does he live underwater? Is he black?”

11. Jon H
    April 27th, 2005 at 8:10 pm
    

    So does that mean that Bizarro’s body produces worn-out red blood cells, which circulate around his body, until they become new, at which point they’re absorbed by the marrow?

12. John Nowak
    April 28th, 2005 at 1:46 am
    

    But then again, if the anti-bodies actually make Bizarro sick, that means they’ll make him get better, so I suppose it all evens out.

13. Aine
    April 28th, 2005 at 7:31 am
    

    The logic of this conversation has ceased to be circular and is now approaching a more bizarre four dimensional shape.

14. John Nowak
    April 29th, 2005 at 1:34 am
    

    Yeah, that’s the problem when you have a character like Bizarro who is basically defined by “he applies a boolean ‘NOT’ to everything.” Eventually the negatives cancel out and you’re left with whatever you started with.

15. Chris Arndt
    April 29th, 2005 at 2:31 pm
    

    Let’s see… all I’ve come to point out is that the only Bizarro which ever made a lick of sense, the Pre-Crisis Bizarro #1 was not only not alive, but he was immune to Kryptonite. He was genetically not Superman and quite likely not quite biological.

    The Bizarro we’re dealing with, born not from a ‘Bizarro Ray’ but from 5D-lifeform-empowered ‘Emperor Joker’ is just…. wierd. I hate him.

16. Bob
    May 19th, 2010 at 4:58 pm
    

    For what it’s worth, Bizarro #1 was not immune to kryptonite. He was immune to GREEN kryptonite. BLUE kryptonite had the same effect on him that green K did on Supes. Blue K is produced by running green K through the same crazy duplication machine that made Bizarro out of Superman in the first place (and as far as I can remember, blue K didn’t affect Supes at all).

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