Polite Dissent

Amazing Fantasy #10 “Poison Tomorrow, Chapter Four: Gone Native”
Fred Van Lente, writer
Leonard Kirk, penciler

S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Noriko Nagayoshi has sent a genetic sample from Carmilla Black ( “the Scorpion”) to the International Centre for Genetic Engineering and Biotechnology in New Delhi. Doctor Rao, a researcher from the clinic, has just called Agent Nagayoshi back with the results:

This young woman is quite a find. Her lymphatic system produces what I can only describe as a “ludicrous” variety of life-saving chemicals.
Atropine to defend against nerve gas…amyl nitride [sic] to overcome blood agents like cyanide. I would imagine the atropine let her survive the curare overdose you mentioned in your report.
Her sweat glands secret dimercaprol and chloramine to counteract blistering agents such as mustard gas.
Her cell nuclei float in a solution of iodized salt to deflect gamma rays.

Some of what Dr. Rao is saying makes sense, but most of it is just pure hogwash. Let’s look at it piece by piece:

• Atropine is the best treatment for nerve toxins. It has some potent side effects, so I wouldn’t want it coursing through my bloodstream all the time, but I’m sure Carmilla has some regulatory system in place so the atropine isn’t always being produced.
• Atropine does not reverse curare poisoning; that requires a type of drug known as an anticholinesterase. It’s true that atropine is given along with an anticholinesterase when treating curare poisoning, but this is to minimize the side effects from the anticholinesterase; it has nothing to do with the curare itself.
• Amyl nitrite is often used as part of the treatment of cyanide poisoning. The nitrites are only one part of the treatment and are fairly toxic chemicals in their own right. Also note that amyl nitrite is an inhaled drug; it is not appropriate for intravenous use (sodium nitrite is used instead). And yes, this is the same amyl nitrite found in poppers.
• By the way, it is amyl nitrite, not amyl nitride. Perform a Google search for “amyl nitride” and you’ll find the likely source of the writer’s information (and notice that although many different sites show up, the text on each site is identical) . Amyl nitrite is sometimes referred to as amyl nitrate, but they are two different chemicals.
• Dimercaprol is the antidote for Lewisite, a blistering agent similar to mustard gas. It is not an antidote for mustard gas itself.
• Chloramine is formed when ammonia reacts with sodium hypochlorite (better known as household bleach). Chloramine is a toxic chemical and a known skin irritant. It is commonly used as a disinfectant in public water systems and it has been used successfully to decontaminate skin exposed to mustard gas.
• Mustard Gas is a type of chemical warfare agent known as a blistering agent (or in medical speak, a vesiculating agent). It is particularly nasty because it can penetrate most clothing and it clings to the skin. It causes the formation of large painful blisters on the skin 2-4 hours after exposure. Immediate treatment is best — once the blisters appear, it is too late for decontamination to work.
• Would sweat-gland-produced decontamination work? Possibly. It would certainly be an immediate treatment, but I don’t know if the sweat glands could produce enough chemicals to counteract a full attack unless Carmilla was really, really sweaty. Sweat glands would also not be able to protect the eyes and lungs — two other targets of blistering agents.
• Gamma radiation is the most penetrating of the three basic forms of radiation. Unlike alpha and beta radiation which are particles, gamma radiation is a high-energy electromagnetic wave: think of a very powerful x-ray. A microscopic amount of salt water isn’t going to do anything to stop a gamma ray. The effectiveness of iodine against radiation has been grossly overstated in the media (and the web). While it’s true that iodine will help the thyroid gland resist damage from radioactive iodine, it won’t do anything for the rest of the body — or radiation from any other source.

Note to S.H.I.E.L.D. — Please stop outsourcing your scientific research.