Polite Dissent

In Las Vegas the next few days for a couple of conferences. First, the Science-Based Medicine Conference, then a couple of days at The Amaz!ing Meeting.

Then, we’ll squeeze a few days of vacation before heading back home.

Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies #21 (Dell, 1943)

And what would Independence Day be without a clip from the musical 1776? Here’s one of the songs, “But, Mr. Adams,” concerning who gets to has to write the Declaration of Independence.

Five years ago, I started Polite Dissent…

…and much to may amazement I’m still here going (more or less) strong.

Along the same theme, here’s Five Years by David Bowie. OK, other than the title and the vague sci-fi theme, the song has nothing to do with this site or anniversaries — but the name fits, it’s classic Bowie, and The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars is definitely on my “Five Albums to Have when Stranded on a Desert Island” list, so enjoy.

I’ve just upgraded to the latest version of WordPress, so if anything seems wonky (or wonkier-than-normal), let me know.

Watched Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer last night…again. It’s still one of my favorites, probably tied with The Grinch. After watching the show last year, I felt inspired to update the story a little. So, yeah, I posted this last December, but it still holds true today:

The Brave and the Bold #48 (June/July 1963)

One of my favorite days of the year: The Indianapolis 500 in the afternoon, and then the Coca-Cola 600 in the evening (plus barbecue, lots and lots of barbecue). I hope everyone enjoys their holiday weekend,

Happy Easter from the Uncanny X-Peeps

I’m off work and on vacation for the rest of week. Nothing exciting, mostly just staying at home and catching up on paperwork and CME — though I’m sure I’ll find the time to play a video game or two.

Posting will continue, but expect lighter, less substantial fare for the remainder of the week.

I’ve been pointing out examples of bad CPR and emergency resuscitation for several years now, but this one from Superman Family #171 takes the cake (so far, anyway). In the story, Supergirl is knocked unconscious by Black Canary’s “canary cry” and thrown into a river to drown. Batgirl jumps in and drags Supergirl to shore. She starts to perform rescue breathing on Supergirl but quickly gives up. So she drags her to the nearest car, uncaps the tire valve, and shoves it in Supergirl’s mouth. Miraculously, this restores her breathing to normal.

This is so over the top, I really can’t add anything except to point out that this would never work in real life, so please don’t ever try it (but hopefully you all figured that out on your own).

And finally, for those of you who only speak LOL:

All images from “Cleopatra, Queen of America” found in Superman Family #171. Script by Cary Bates. Art by Curt Swan. Scanned in from Showcase Presents Batgirl, Volume 1.

With the U.S. Navy scheduled to shoot down an errant satellite later this week, I thought this would be a good time for a space-related PSA. This Captain America/Young Astronaut Council ad is from the back pages of Captain American #307, an otherwise forgettable issue featuring Nomad and Madcap.

The Young Astronaut Council was formed in 1984 to get children interested in space and science. According to their article on Wikipedia, they are “the largest youth aerospace organization in the world” (though I’m not sure that’s a title with a lot of competition). As far as I can know, the Young Astronaut Council is still in operation today, though you couldn’t tell it from their website, which I seem to be unable to access.

For another relevant PSA, check out this one from Airboy #22 (May 1987) which takes an unkind look at the SDI program (”Strategic Defense Initiative” — i.e. the “Star Wars” program — a plan to shoot incoming enemy ballistic missiles out of the sky).

More PSAs

Apologies for the lack of a post last night, but there was a slight incident involving an overexuberant pet cat, her claws, and my eye, which necessitated a trip to the ER. Nothing serious — vision is fine, and within a few days I should be back to normal. In the meantime, however, I give myself 2 out of 10 on the Jonah Hex disfigurement scale:

How, exactly, does one hear dollar signs? Maybe Richie left his iPod on and it happens to playing the beginning of “Money” from The Dark Side of the Moon. Of course, this comic was published well before MP3 players, Walkmen, and even Pink Floyd.

Maybe it’s a not-so-subtle indictment of the medical profession by the folks at Harvey Comics: the doctor is hearing “dollar signs” when he should be listening to his patient. But then again, the doctor is using a horribly out of date stethoscope — even for 1964, when the comic was published — so he probably needs all the money he can get, plus he seems to listening to the xiphoid process and not the heart, so he’s not a very good doctor.

Or it’s just another vaguely humorous money-related visual gag the Richie Rich comics are famous for, take your pick.

Thanks for stopping by from the Wall Street Journal Health Blog, and welcome to Polite Dissent, my blog that takes a look at medicine, television, comic books and how they all interact.

Here are some areas of special interest you might find worthwhile reading:

Medical Reviews of House
Medical Reviews of Comic Books
The Comic Book Drug Reference
Comic Book Public Service Ads and “Special Message” Comics
Psychic Nosebleeds (a catalog the increasing common cliche in genre fiction that nosebleeds are a sure sign of pyschic power)

Title: In Which Addison Finds a Showerhead

Tonight’s episode tried a little too hard to be clever and suffered for it. Plus, once again, we get a storyline involving Violet and her ex. Enough already! On the other hand, the medicine was a little better.

Dr. Sam Bennett and Dr. Violet Turner
One of Sam’s patients surprised a burglar in her house and is injured and traumatized from the incident. She asks Sam for a pill that will make her forget what happened. As the show progresses, Sam brings Violet in to talk to her and we discover that she was sexually assaulted by the intruder. Sam and Violet, in a miraculous single session, manage to cure the patient’s post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and then cause — and cure — PTSD in her husband.
As Violet suggests, there has been discussion that Propranolol (usually used as a blood pressure pill) may ease the psychological effects of the trauma, but will not erase the memories. There was a small study published in 2002 supporting this use of Propranolol, but the numbers were very small and the results did not seem all that impressive to me.

Dr. Addison Montgomery
Maya, Sam and Naomi’s daughter, comes to visit Addison with a friend from school because Maya is scared she may have gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease. Maya is tested but shows no sign of the infection. Later, Maya calls Addison frantically because her friend has collapsed in a pool of blood. It turns out that it was not Maya who was sexually active, but her friend, and this friend has a life threatening ectopic pregnancy. Addison rushes the girl into surgery and is able to save her life.
Ectopic pregnancies are pregnancies that occur outside of the uterus. They are most commonly found in the fallopian tube, but can happen anywhere in the abdomen. They can extremely dangerous and life-threatening, particularly as the pregnancy advances.

Dr. Pete Finch
Pete is asked by a former patient of his, a college track coach, to take a look at his star runner. She claims she is fine, but Pete hears wheezing so he brings her into the hospital for a pulmonary/cardiac stress test. During the test, she has a severe bronchospasm (think: asthma attack), and the Pete and the hospital chief of staff tell her that she needs inhaled steroids and “continuous neb.” (nebs = nebulizer, a machine that vaporizes medication so it can be inhaled) She refuses because a big track meet is coming up and she will not be able to compete while on those medications. When neither she nor the coach returns Pete’s calls, he travels to the college track to find her and arrives just in time when she collapses at the end of a race. While in the hospital, it is discovered that she has some “alkaloid” in her system. Pete finds out that she had visited another doctor who had given her some kind of herb, which along with the bronchospasm, nearly killed her and may prevent her from ever competing again. When Pete finds out that the coach is to blame, he slugs him.
The most common cause of bronchospasm is asthma. Exposure to nasty fumes or allergens (including food allergies and bee stings) can also cause it. Severe cases of bronchitis or emphysema can also lead to bronchospasm. If I had a world class runner who suddenly developed bronchospasm, I would wonder why this occurred all of a sudden. Asthma should have shown up much earlier in her career. It’s most likely that she has been exposed to something recently that caused it, and discovering the cause would solve many of her problems.
If the patient is in such severe bronchospasm that she needs continuous nebs, then it would be prudent to actually give her a nebulizer instead of just sitting around about it. Albuterol nebs are usually given every two to six hours in cases of significant bronchospasm. Rarely, they can be given continuously, but only in very severe cases (and these patients have bronchospasm so bad the patient is not able to talk, let alone argue).
The alkaloid she was given would likely be ephedra or ma huang — which would show up on athletic screening drug tests. In fact, any herb that would have an actual beneficial effect on her breathing would show up on a competition drug test. That’s a lot harder to explain away than a prescription medication.

It’s not Nick Fury’s psychic nosebleed per se, but one from his eponymous series Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. (1989 series). In this scene from issue #16, an evil scientist-wannabe has his mind overloaded when a malfunctioning spy satellite sends all its data directly into his brain.

All previous Psychic Nosebleed Zen posts

Allow me to introduce the newest member of the Polite Family:

Aidan
Born 5:28 pm, weight 6 lbs 2 oz.

Posting will likely be spotty over the weekend and resume on Monday.

In our post-MMR world, it’s unlikely you’ll ever hear a Gotham City thug say this again:

Yet another reason to be thankful for vaccinations.

Scene from Detective Comics #47 (January 1941). A vaccine against the measles first became available in 1963.
Script by Bill Finger with art by Bob Kane, Jerry Robinson, and George Roussos. Sure is a lot of yellow isn’t there?

I’ve spent wasted the day playing Final Fantasy XII and reading Melanie Rawn’s new book Spellbinder.

Greetings everyone! I’m very happy to be back home from the hospital.

First off, I’d like to say thanks for all of the get well comments, e-mails, and thoughts. My wife and I truly appreciate them.

As for me, it looks like little permanent damage was done (except to my ego, which took a pretty solid hit). The cardiologist says that I can be back to full activity, including jogging and biking, in a month. In the meantime, I’ll just have to relax and catch up on reading, television, and a few other projects that have been stacking up.

Once again, thanks for all the kind thoughts and it’s good to be back!

Hi everyone. This is Scott’s wife and I am posting on his behalf. For the next few days Polite Dissent will not be updated. Scott is in the hospital after having a minor myocardial infarction (heart attack). He is doing fine now and I’m sure he will give you all the details when he can.

This year’s April Fool’s day post, including this new title graphic:

Today on Pullet Dissent, I’ll take a look at some notable entries from the recent San Diego Chicken-Con:

	Plucky Owner: M. Sterling An early season favorite from a long and distinguished line. Plumage looks good, though the beak is a little unimpressive. Grade: B+
	Kirk Owner: D. Wright Another strong contender from the California powerhouse. I expect multiple 4-H ribbons from the specimen, with a State Fair championship to top off the season. Grade: A
	Nitro Owner: K. Church Every since splitting off from the family fried chicken business, Church has been struggling to find the right competitor. This year, I think he’s finally done it, and his Nitro should give Kirk a run for his money. Grade: A-
	Funky Chicken Owner: D. Campbell A master of chickens from the 90s, Campbell has decided to have a go at current poultry as well. It’s a valiant effort, but ultimately I expect Funky to end up as soup. Grade: C
	Easter Dinner Owner: C. Sims Really, the less said the better. Grade: F

Busy weekend with family obligations as well as St. Louis’s annual 5-mile St. Patrick’s Day Run.

See everyone Monday!

Julius Caesar, Act I, Scene ii

SOOTHSAYER: Beware the ides of March. CAESAR: What man is that? BRUTUS: A soothsayer bids you beware the ides of March. CAESAR: Set him before me; let me see his face. CASSIUS: Fellow, come from the throng; look upon Caesar. CAESAR: What say’st thou to me now? speak once again. SOOTHSAYER: Beware the ides of March. CAESAR: He is a dreamer; let us leave him: pass.

I keep seeing these television ads for the upcoming film The Bridge to Terebithia. The ads strongly play up the fantasy aspects of the story, making it seem akin to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe or The Lord of the Rings.

Now, I’ve read The Bridge to Terebithia, and the fantasy aspects make up only a tiny part of the story and aren’t really that integral to the plot.

This means that either:

1. The movie makers totally missed the entire point of the book, or

2. There’s going to be some upset parents and sobbing children who were expecting a light-hearted fantasy romp.

Continuing my look at blockbuster mini-series. Today is a scene from the final issue of Kingdom Come. It shows what happens to Superman after being “shazam”-ed by Captain Marvel repeatedly. Bloody nose, bleeding ears, and burst blood vessels in the eye.

This one is a little iffy. It’s certainly not a classic “psychic” nosebleed, but is it a super-power related or magic-related nosebleed? I guess it all depends on how you interpret the damage Superman took. It wasn’t a direct blow to the face that caused the bleeding. Was it the magic of the thunderbolts? Or the sonic pressure from the thunderclap? Or a bit of both? I think it’s both, so I’m including it (the bleeding ears make me think it is barotrauma [pressure-related], but Superman’s suffered extreme pressures before without bleeding, so it must be the magic of the thunderbolts and the pressure of their thunderclaps).

Scene from Kingdom Come #4 by Mark Waid and Alex Ross

All previous Nosebleed Zen posts

I spent the latter part of last week with the Polite-wife and the in-laws in Las Vegas. Her family is great, so visiting is always something I look forward to, but it’s exhausting too, particularly at the holidays. While in Vegas, we had the chance to catch up with old friends as well as visiting my favorite comic book store, Alternate Reality.

We returned home early Christmas evening and spent the remainder of the night and the next day with my folks, celebrating our family Christmas. It was fun, there was plenty of good food, but it’s nice to be back in our house. I have the next few days off before working in the clinic New Year’s weekend, so I think I’ll relax, play some Lego Star Wars, and — maybe, just maybe — update the Comic Book Drug Reference and maybe try out some new CSS for this site.

I’ll resume regular posting Wednesday night with a look at Rabies in Jonah Hex, followed by a look at the best and worst in comic book medicine in 2006.

In the meantime so you can get your medical fix, this week’s Grand Rounds is being held over at Blogborygmi. (Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging). In addition, the 2006 Medical Blog Award nominations remain open, so head over and check out the nominees so far, or nominate one or two of your favorites.

Most the radio stations, restuarants, and stores around here have switched to Christmas music, 24/7. Thought it’s overkill, I can survive it…for the most part. I remain convinced that these are the worst two Christmas songs ever:

• Little Saint Nick
  Contains the stupidest line of any Christmas song: Christmas comes this time each year.
• The Christmas Shoes
  You need an extra dose of insulin just to listen to this song. And the radio was playing the “special version” where a choir of young girls joins awkwardly in the singing.

To my favorites, this year add “Christmas Wrapping” by The Waitresses, a more-or-less one hit wonder band known best for “I Know What Boys Like.”

It’s that time again to look at what internet search engine queries brought people to Polite Dissent over the past two months. You’ll notice a couple of repeats on here, but that’s only because people keep asking for it. As always, my comments when appropriate (or even when inappropriate) are in green italics. (Previous seach posts can be found here, and it seems I missed September. I’ll have to correct that oversight at some point)

The U.S.S. Arizona Memorial
Pearl Harbor, Hawai’i
Picture taken on the boat ride to the memorial

Stood in line in the cold all night last night at the local Target to (succesfully) obtain the Nintendo Wii. Also picked up the new Zelda as well as “Trauma Center: Second Opinion.” Resultingly, I am very tired — and possibly chillblained — and plan on going to bed as soon as this week’s Midsommer Murders is over.

Regularly scheduled posting will resume tomorrow.

Polite Dissent was transferred to a new server today. This should hopefully speed up the loading time of the site. Unfortunately, it also screwed up e-mail for a time, so if you sent me an e-mail yesterday or today and haven’t heard back, it probably got eaten by the Internets. I also seem to having a problem accessing images I’ve uploaded today, so the normal Monday PSA will be delayed until I can figure it out.

Update: The error has been corrected. As usual, the mistake was on my end, and not the host. sigh

Instead of lollipops, our office hands out stickers to children at the end of their appointment. I like to look through the catalogs to make sure we’re getting good stickers (particularly good super-hero stickers), and not just the Strawberry Shortcake ones. As I was flipping through the catalog yesterday, this caught my eye.

I haven’t decided if this is sheer genius or one of the most ridiculous ideas I have ever seen, but I’m leaning towards the former.

Tonka Truck Valentines! And some of the best (or worst) heavy-equipment-related Valentine’s Day puns ever. There’s a bulldozer (“You move me”), a grader (“You make the grade!”), a cement mixer (“You’ve got me all mixed up”), a backhoe (“I dig you”), and a steam roller (“…We’re on a roll!”).

I’m really not sure who the intended audience is, because I’m thinking most kids who are big into Tonka aren’t going to be that much into Valentine’s Day, but I still think this is genius.

(Here’s another view of the stickers, and ordering information if you’re so inclined.)

I did a Century Ride today so now I’m dead tired and my legs are killing me. I doubt I have a substantive post in me tonight.

Once again it’s time for my favorite holiday of the year: Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Being the good buccaneer that I am, I looted last year’s post (which was itself plundered from the year before that), and I’m reposting and updating it — and new additions are always welcome!

Comic-book pirates (and pirate comic books) off the top of me head (to be updated as I think of more):

• Crossbones
• The Psycho Pirate
• Occulus from Fantastic Four
• And in the Fantastic Four’s first encounter with Dr. Doom (FF #5), The Thing ended up becoming Blackbeard.
• Pirate Club
• The evil pirates from My Monkey’s Name is Jennifer
• The Starjammers
• The hilarious Scurvy Dogs (”The cow says moo…”)
• The abandoned Barbarossa and the Lost Corsairs
• El Cazador
• Street Angel #2
• Long John Silver and the Pirates (Charlton comic from the 1950s)
• Belit (and Conan, for a time) from the Conan comics (older Marvel volumes)
• The Black Pirate appeared in some of the 1940s issues of Action Comics
• There was the pirate comic-within-a-comic in Watchmen (Tales of Black Freighter)
• Buccaneers from the 1950s
• The similarly named Buccaneer, also from the 1950s
• The Golden Medallion, a pirate comic book put out by LEGO
• The Pirates of Dark Water A kids comic put out by Marvel based on the Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
• Terry and the Pirates. Sure it was a comic strip, but it’s been reprinted in comic book form several times
• Then of course there’s Colonia (pointed out to me last year by Laura, the “Scourge of the Seattle Seas”)
• Pirate Corp$
• Even Mickey Mouse is getting in on the act: Air Pirates Funnies
• Metrokitty (the “Feline Felon”) reminded me that there was a pirate as a suporting character in the Starman series (and in one of the Talking with David issues).
• Speaking of Disney, we can’t forget air pirate Don Carnage from Talespin
• Pirates appeares in at least one Spirit story
• EC’s Piracy
• Indiana Jones and the Sargasso Pirates
• Some pirates appeared (briefly, before being slaughtered) in Grendel: War Child #4
• Polly and the Pirates
• The Aquaman villains Cutlas Charlie, Captain Squid, and Captain Blackjack
• The subway pirates from Seven Soldiers: Manhattan Guardian

Time for the bi-monthly post where take a few minutes tolook back at what internet searches brought people to Polite Dissent for July and August. Mostly rather bland searches this time, but then I’m not sure anything will top May and June’s intravenous pumpkins. As always, there were plenty of searches for She-Hulk, Hawk, Dove, Dave Trampier, Wormy, and B’wana Beast. Plenty of House questions too. Then there were the usual searches for sex pictures involving any combination of the following: the Teen Titans (Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, and Beast Boy — but no love for Raven), Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable, Danny Phantom, and/or Tanith Belbin.

Capitalization has been added to make the searches more readable, but the grammar and spelling are untouched otherwise to give the true flavor. My thoughts are added in green.

Vaguely Medical Searches

• Tiniest bacteria serratia Sounds like a title of a children’s book. [information on Serratia]
• Difference between the circumcision done by a quack doctor and medical doctor? Is this really a question you need to ask?
• Can a blow stop the heart rhythm instantly? Yes, under the right conditions, when the timing of the heart cycle is just right and a blow lands in the right place. This is known as Commotio Cordis and is thought to cause 2-3 deahts per year in Little League baseball.[more information on commotio cordis]
• Kissing fishes skin cure No idea here.
• If you don t test for it you don t have to treat it house of god The actual quote is: “If you don’t take a temperature, you can’t find a fever” and it is Law X from the back of House of God.
• mystery painful rash secreting string You’re probably thinking about Morgellons. [wikipedia entry on Morgellon's Disease]

Supposedly Comic Book Searches

• XY the last man close.
• John Byrne pregnant I doubt it
• Women in the freezer comics Another example of being close but not quite right
• Senseless comics involving the devil Are there any other kind?

Miscellaneous Seaches

• Give me at least 3 valedictorian addressed I don’t know which is more disturbing, that someone is plagiarizing valedictorian speeches, or that they can’t spell “addresses” right. Or maybe it’s just somebody who’s looking for the home addresses of smart people so he can beat them up…
• Hats Somebody searches the internet for “hats”? And found my site? (Several times too, according to the logs).
• How do you spell polite? Just like that.
• I have telescopic vision Good for you.

Adventures in Spelling (presented with few comments)

• Cot having sex on tape
• 37 weeks pregnant cervix is thinning and pressure in Virginia
• Ohno Cryten birth control I assume they meant “Ortho Cyclen” but “Ohno Cryten” evokes much better imagery.

Fan Fiction Want List (presented without comment)

• Airwolf fan fiction
• Fanfiction kim possible giving birth
• Fanfiction kim possible vomit
• Extreme Justice fan fiction

And Last but not Least, the I-Really-Don’t-Want-To-Know Seaches (also presented without comment)

• How can i sudues my sister
• Woman groin picture without obstacle

In addition to working in the clinic and being on call this weekend, I signed up for a local biathalon (a run and bike one, not a ski and shoot one) several months ago and it happened to be this morning. Let me just say that I have a drastically different definition of “gently rolling hills” than the planners of the course. I’m also chafed in areas no person should ever be chafed (someday I’ll find a pair of bicycling shorts that I can run comfortably for fiver or more miles).

Thus, no time for psychic nosebleeds this weekend, but don’t worry, I’ve got some good ones for next weekend.

Yet more proof that the use or resistance of mental powers causes nosebleeds.

Jay Garrick, the original Flash, from JSA Classified #7
In addition to the epistaxis (nosebleed), Jay also has blood puring from his ears.
If only he had blood from the eye sockets as well, then he’d have the psychic powers hat trick.

I mentioned last post how poor the art was on Ben Casey #4. On first reading the comic, I noticed how much the one character looked like Sean Connery. Then I noticed how I kept seeing the same heads over and over again. Take a look a Ben Casey, particularly his head in the next few panels — it’s the identical head, just tilted slightly from panel to panel…

Here’s Ben looking pensive.	Here’s Ben flirting.
Here’s Ben taking charge.	Here’s Ben whining.

What’s that you say? You want to see some action shots? Sure thing!

Ben in a knife fight.

And Ben dancing.

A real world case this time: Michael Swango’s troubles were first noticeable during medical school at Southern Illinois University. Swango’s demeanor was brusque and he had no bedside manners to speak of. He seemed to have a peculiar fascination with dying patients. He also liked to take the easy way out, and was nearly expelled after being caught cheating during his OB/GYN rotation. In the end, the school let him graduate if he repeated the course work.

Despite a poor recommendation from the dean at the SIU School of Medicine, Swango was selected for a surgical internship at Ohio State University. That’s where the trouble really started. Nurses noticed that healthy patients on the floors where he was assigned happened to die…frequently. One nurse even caught him injecting some medicine into a patient who later became ill. The nurses reported their concerns to the administration, but they were brushed aside and only a superficial investigation was carried out. Despite being cleared by this investigation, Swango was not asked back to OSU because there were concerns about his skills as a physician and surgeon.

Swango returned home to Illinois and started working as a paramedic. Within a few months, the rest of the paramedics noticed that they would get violently ill whenever Swango brought any food in, or prepared the coffee. They investigated and found arsenic and other poisons in his possession, along with a book about poisoning. He was arrested, tried, and imprisoned for these poisonings.

After being released from prison, Swango worked various medical related odd jobs for a while, but eventually managed to bluff his way into a residency program in Sioux Falls. Things went well at first, but then he tried to join the American Medical Association. Unlike the hospital, the AMA performed a background check and discovered that Swango had no medical license and had a past felony conviction. About the same time, the ABC television show 20/20 aired a segment on Swangoand his poisoning conviction. When these were reported to the Dean of the University of South Dakota, Swango was summarily dismissed.

A short time later, Swango surfaced in New York at Stony Brook Medical School where he had been admitted as a psychiatry resident. Once again, his patients started dying for no apparent reason. When the dean at South Dakota heard that Swango had moved to New York, he called the administration at Stony Brook and Swango’s full history came to light. He was fired from yet another residency position. This time, the residency director learned from past mistakes and mailed a warning about Swango to every other residency in the nation.

A year later, Swango surfaced in Africa working as a physician in a rural hospital in Zimbabwe. True to form, his patients again started dying mysteriously. This time the police stepped in and he was arrested, but he skipped town before his trial date came. He hid out elsewhere in Africa and Europe and was close to taking another job as a doctor in Saudi Arabia when he was arrested at O’Hare Airport in Chicago.

Swango was extradited to New York where he was charged and convicted of practicing medicine without a license and fraud. While in prison for those charges, police were building other cases and he ultimately pled guilty to four counts of first-degree murder and was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole. This plea bargain allowed him to avoid the death penalty and extradition to Zimbabwe. All told, it is estimated that Michael Swango killed thirty to sixty patients.

• The Crime Library report on Michael Swango (like all Crime Library articles I’ve read, this one is full of hypebole and trips over its own attempts at flowerly language. Still it’s chock full of good information.)
• Timeline and Documents of the Michael Swango case from CourtTV
• CNN article on Michael Swango.
• An AMA Op-Ed about Swango.

It’s that time once again to see what searches have brought people across the web to Polite Dissent. Capitalization has been added to make the searches more readable, but the grammar and spelling are untouched otherwise. As usual, my snarky comments are added in green.

Comic Related Searches

• Is Superman’s girlfriend pretty? All that matters is that Superman thinks so.
• Batman parents disappointed Death and the Maidens I think we all were disappointed with that comic.
• Clark Kent’s 8 pack abs Two better than six-pack abs.
• Green Arrow Longbow rape I’m sure we all can guess what this search was in reference to. For the record, I always though she had been.
• Zatanna naked The return of a classic search term.
• Wonder Woman groin I have no idea what they were searching for here, but I hope I answered their question.
• Lana Lang underwear ditto.
• Does Carter Hawkman Hall have a doctorate? Good question.
• John Byrne Vision Scarlet Witch genitalia I blame Chris Arndt for this one.

Medically Related Searches

• Do drug testes screen for Ritalin? I’m going to assume you mean “tests” and not “testes”, but the answer is yes — I suspect someone takingRitalin would test positive for amphetamines.
• Differance between cyst and mass A mass is solid, a cyst is hollow.
• Why is clostridium perfringens likely to grow in gangrenous wounds? You have it backwards, it is the infection with Clostridium that is causing the gangrene.
• Rh negative celebrities I have no idea. I’m A-, do I count?
• Cleaning a wound bleach Please don’t. While it’s true the bleach would probably kill any nasty germs, it would also kill many of your own cells, severely impeding the healing process.
• Rash where butt hits toilet seat Probably because somebody smeared something on the toilet seat.
• Medical term when scrotal organ burst out Painful
• Will the pregnancy test aome out positive when using the IUD? If you’re pregnant it will.

Homework

• Macbeth soliloquy she should have died hereafter. OK, here you go. From Macbeth, Act V, scene v, spoken by Macbeth:

  She should have died hereafter;
  There would have been a time for such a word.
  To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
  Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
  To the last syllable of recorded time,
  And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
  The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
  Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
  That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
  And then is heard no more: it is a tale
  Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
  Signifying nothing.

To Each Their Own (presented without comment)

• Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable having sex
• funny sex comics with the Teen Titans and Kim Possible
• Peter Parker adult fanfiction Norman Osborne

Miscellaneous

• Comics of nose Huh?
• Intravenous pumpkins Double huh?
• Obsessive compulsive personality disorder getting married Hope for neat spouse, or failing that, a patient one.
• Homemade defibrillator These two words should not go together.

Watching, or rather listening to, the music of Superman Returns reminded me of how much I loved the soundtrack of the original Superman movie. I’m not just talking about an exciting title theme (like the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme), but a soundtrack where the entire album is a good listen.

In reverse order, here are my top three favorite movie soundtracks:

3. The Princess Bride
Great music, especially the title theme.

2. Superman
The title theme and Planet of Krypton theme remain two of the best movie themes ever, but the whole album is good. Heck, I even used the Planet of Krypton theme as part of my wedding music.

1. The Last of the Mohicans
The perfect movie soundtrack, from start to finish. It’s easy to picture the scenes in the movie just listening to the music, and the entire album is a good listen.

Tonight on Fox, House repeats it’s third and fourth episodes of this year. The first one, Humpty Dumpty, is one of the better episodes of the year and well worth watching. The second one, TB or Not TB, is fairly pretentious and not much fun, despite the appearance of Ron Livingston from Office Space (and Sex and the City). So my recommendation is to watch the first episode of House tonight and then switch over and watch the season finale of The Deadliest Catch on Discovery for the second hour.

• A list of all prior House reviews

Sorry, no post tonight. It turns out that last night’s storm killed off our cable modem. Charter’s customer service/help desk people were friendly (and actually in the US) but wrong, and I ultimately made the diagnosis myself. One trip to Best Buy later and we’re back online, but too late for any kind of substantial post. See everyone tomorrow.

Oops, I accidentally marked two recent posts as “PRIVATE” so they didn’t show up to anyone except me, but since I could see them, I didn’t realize there was a problem. Thanks to David Carter to bringing it to my attention.

Please make sure you check out these previously private posts:

• The Autopsy Scene in 52 #3
• A Medical Review of Punisher #33

The Sunday before Memorial Day is one of my favorite days of the year. Friends come over, the barbecue is fire up, and we settle in for 1100 miles of racing good news.

My family’s originally from Indianapolis, so we’ve always watched the Indianapolis 500. I did my Family Practice residency in Indianapolis and lived a little over a half-mile from the track; every May I loved the fact that from my back porch I could here the cars practicing. I was hoping Michael Andretti would finally have his chance to win, and while he was leading with four laps to go, it was mostly due to pit-stop timing and he clearly didn’t have a car that stood a realistic chance of winning. It looked like his son Marco would be able to pull it off, but Sam Hornish was able to pass him in the last few hundred yards. While it would have been nice for an Andretti to win, Hornish has had his own problems in past Indianapolis 500s, so he deserved a win too.

In the evening is the Coca-Cola 600, the longest — and usually one of the best — NASCAR races. Kasey Kahne’s speed is impressive this year, both in qualifying and race day. Tony Stewart looked like he was in a great deal of pain, particularly arm pain, and I would not be surprised to find out he’s got more of an injury than they’re letting on — probably a rotator cuff injury. And Kyle Busch – what a complete ass! He’s worse than his brother ever was.

(I managed to slip in watching some Giro d’Italia between the car races. The Giro is the premier Italian bicycle race. From what I’ve seen so far in the Giro and earlier races, Ivan Basso looks like the man to beat for this year’s Tour de France).

In between the two races, I fire up the grill. This year, I cooked several racks of my special spare ribs, some authentic smoked sausage from the local butcher’s, and some ginger/wasabi chicken for the Polite-Wife. I also cooked up a surprisingly sweet black bean and roasted pepper relish. We topped it all off with a Tortuga rum cake.

All in all, a satisfying, if calorie-laden, day.

A year after Marvel Comics published the Heroes for Hope comic, DC Comics published a similar comic: Heroes Against Hunger. Organized by the same two people, Jim Starlin and Berni Wrightson, this is another “jam comic” by dozens of famous comic book writers and artists published to raise money for, and awareness of, the famine in Ethiopia.

The plot is delivered over 48 pages, with every artist and writer handling two pages apiece. Superman is delivering tons of topsoil to famine-ravaged Ethopia, but is shocked when his latest shipment is destroyed. Batman is also in the area looking for clues as to who is shooting down several Wayne Foundation cargo planes carrying food. The two heroes discuss the situation and formulate a plan: Superman will look into the destruction of the planes while Batman heads off to talk Lex Luthor, who has developed a super plant growth formula.

Superman discovers an un-imaginitively named villain, the Master, who derives his power from human misery and despair. He’s the one who’s been destroying the planes and ruining Superman’s efforts. Meanwhile, Batman is able to convince Luthor to help them by pointing out that if his formula works, the world will know that he succeeded where Superman failed.

Working together, Batman , Superman and Luthor are able to defeat the Master. They now work to put superpowers and super-science together to halt the famine. Superman lays down more topsoil and Luthor uses his plant growth accelerant, but nothing happens. A local Peace Corps worker chides them for their efforts, pointing out that it took years of bad faming for the famine to develop in Ethiopia, and it will take years to fix thr problem. The comic claims it ends on an up note, but it’s really more of a downer than anything else.

Unlike the Marvel book, there is an actual villain here for the heroes to vanquish. Of course, he’s not the cause of the famine, he’s just along for the ride, so defeating him really doesn’t accomplish much. In the end — just like the X-Men in Heroes for Hope — Superman, Batman and Luthor are defeated by the famine.

The art is classic and the individual pages of storytelling are well done. Despite this, like its Marvel counterpart, the comic just isn’t that good a read. The villain is rather lightweight and the story seems padded out to reach 48 pages. It’s also a depressing subject. That’s not meant as a criticism, just a fact. Even today, twenty years later, the famine in Africa remains a serious problem with no simple answers. This makes it a legitimate cause for concern and action, but not a very good basis for a comic book storyline.

Ealier this week, I was talking about the use of prophecies in literature. Almost every fantasy story seems to have one — I suspect there’s a law on the books somewhere requiring their use, much like the castles on the grounds of Illinois state-funded colleges — and they rarely add anything to the story. Below are a list of what I consider good and bad use of prophecies (and I’m being loose in my definitions here, considering almost any sort of foretelling a prophecy). Feel free to add in your thoughts…

Good:

• Oedipus
• Micronauts
• Krull (in this otherwise forgettable movie, the scene where the cyclops knew he was going to die and rides out to meet his death.)
• Lord of the Rings (no man can kill the king of the Nazgûl)

Bad:

• Warlord
• Strange
• The Matrix
• Books by David Eddings
• Conan the Destroyer
• Anything attributed to Nostrodamus or Sylvia Brown

Time for another look at what strange internet searches have led people to Polite Dissent over the past two months. Here are a selection of some that cuaght my eye (as usual, my comments are in green italics).

Frequent Searches:

• Hawk and Dove
• Wormy by Dave Trampier
• Tanith Belbin
• Scottie from Mythbusters
• “We Make Holes in Teeth”

Medically-related Searches:

• Bleach accidentally injected into bloodstream How exactly does one “accidentally” inject bleach?
• Discharge plan for unconscious patient with head injury Well for starters, I wouldn’t discharge them until they woke up.
• Why does the gallbladder cause pain in the upper right hand corner under the ribcage? Because that’s where it is located: under the liver in the upper right hand quadrant of the abdomen.
• Can a woman fall pregnant if she had a pacemaker inserted and her husband has recovered from a stroke 3 years ago/ If she’s having unprotected sex, yes.
• Are b12 injections good for you? If you have a B12 deficiency. Otherwise, they’re pretty much a placebo.
• Temperature scales for normal human body kelvin Strange question, but the normal human body temerature in Kelvin is 310.
• The subtance in the fluid lining the alveoli that prevents their collapse Surfactant

Comic Book-related:

• Spider-man comic aunt may is sick That narrows it down to about one hundred and fifty different issues.
• How to draw and create my own comic book of heroes and violins This one speaks for itself, musically.
• How to shoot heat vision from your eyes I wasn’t sure if this was medical or comic related.
• Unknown soldier hush See, I’m not the only one who thought so.
• Rudolph the red nosed reindeer with tusky I’d like to see this too.

Television-related Searches:

• We’re leaving mother earth save human race Those would be from the lyrics to the opening theme from the first season of Star Blazers
• cuddy and cameron wedding fanfiction I’m confused — are Cuddy and Cameron marrying each other? Because I find that hard to believe after the way Cameron cut her down to size last episode.
• kim possible and ron stoppable pregnancy and graduation stories fan fiction I just find it interesting that the pregnancy comes before graduation.

“I Have No Idea What On God’s Green Earth They Were Looking For” Searches

• uterus polite
• caveman voodoo convents

“Scary Thoughts” Searches

• homemade defibrillator
• o negative blood groups and alien connections

I am in Chicago today through Sunday for a conference (not a fun conference; it’s a four-day “Board Review Boot Camp” to get me ready for my every-seven-year Family Medicine certification renewal, which is due this summer).

I’ve got internet access, I’ve got comics, I’ve got television, so posting will continue. It just may take me a little bit longer than usual to respond to comments and e-mails (and to rescue wayward comments from the spam queue).

It seems a certain unnamed hosting company neglected to re-register my domain which led to those lovely palm trees you may have seen this morning.

All fixed.

(Don’t worry — I don’t plan on going away for quite a while)

Due to some unexpected delays including power outages, tornado sirens, and a DOS attack against my host, postings have been lighter this weekend than anticipated.

Anyway, the CBDR has been updated. Appendix B now covers the entire run of Transmetropolitan. H will be happy to here that his suggestion of the Atlantean “Serum X” was included in this update.

There was some confusion this week with someone who posted some rude comments under my name (well, it could be under their name too — Scott isn’t exactly a rare name). The problem is they pretended to be me.

No more.

I will now be using the “Official Comment Plugin.” This only affects my comments — they will be marked as “Offical Comments” and will be a lovely shade of green. It only affects the comments that I post from here on out, so previous comments by me will still appear the same.

If it’s not marked as “Official,” it’s not by me (see my example in the comment section)

No changes to the comment policy otherwise. I’m doing my best to keep this site an open forum and I welcome all legitimate commentors including those who disagree with me. There is moderation that kicks in occasionally, but it is designed to stop comment spam, not legitimate posters. If your comment doesn’t appear right away, some word in there knocked it into the moderation queue. Be patient, I’ll clear it as soon as I can.

(And I still haven’t found a good comment preview plugin. I’ll keep trying…)

UPDATE: OK, now I’ve found a comment preview plugin that seems to work well.

The upgrade to WordPress 2.02 seems to have gone very smoothly — which scares me a little. With the upgrade, I plan on adding in some much requested features such as comments with previews sometime this week. I’ll also need to clean up the template a little.

There’s one more Peeps-post coming this year, but don’t expect it until sometime tomorrow night.

Last year it was Justice League Peeps. This year it’s Marvel’s turn…

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I will be attmpting to upgrade WordPress this weekend. It’s always a little harrowing, but seems to work out well in the end…I hope…

The review of this week’s House will be posted later than usual tonight (or maybe early morning tomorrow). I’ve got hockey tickets and plan to enjoy the spectacle for all it’s worth.

UPDATE: The Blues lost 2-0. You know, in all my years of watching hockey, I’ve never seen the pull-the-goalie-at-the-last-minute ply actually work.

Looks to be a beautiful weekend with gorgeous weather. Plans include:

• Yard work, and lots of it. Mow the lawn and get the gardens ready for planting.
• Bike riding. Hopefully a nice long ride on both Saturday and Sunday.
• Pick up the in-laws at the local airport Sunday night.
• Wasting time with my new toy: an X-Box 360 (thank you, state income tax refund). Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion here I come!

Adventures in Reading, starring the Amazing Spider-Man. Spidey Travels Through Time and Space in the battle against Illiteracy!Story by Louise Simonson, Pencils by Jon Bogdanove. Marvel Comics, 1990

Cara, Mike, and Dwane are bored inner-city kids who are lamenting the fact that they have nothing to do. As luck would have it, at just that moment Spider-Man swings by chasing a villain called the Troglodyte who has stolen a prototype weapon known as the Transporter. The Troglodyte shoots the bazooka-sized ray gun at Spider-Man and the kids, and they all find themselves in The Lost World. They help Professor Challenger and his crew fight off some pterodactyls, but then the Troglodyte hits them with the ray gun again and they find themselves in Victorian England during the Martian Invasion from The War of the Worlds. Next they find themselves in The Jungle Book, then That was Then, This is Now, and finally in Ivanhoe before they manage to subdue the Troglodyte and return to our world.

Spider-Man, a brilliant scientist and a college graduate, falls prey to the ONISGS (Oh No, I Suddenly Got Stupid) Syndrome commonly seen in PSA comic books: it took him until That was Then, This is Now to figure out they were being transported into the storylines of famous books. Seriously, if he didn’t recognize Professor Challenger or H.G. Well’s Martians, then a talking bear named Baloo should have given it away.

When it comes down to it, this book really has othing to do with fighting illiteracy. Instead, it’s geared toward encouraging children who already know how to read. Not to mention that there’s something fundamentally wrong about a comic book — with a narrative relying almost entirely on the written word — combating illiteracy.

As usual for a PSA comic, this book features several pages of “fun and games” such as word searches and anagrams in the back. One feature in particular caught my eye. How many of you fanboys (and -girls) can identify the source of this “code”?

It seems that while I was enoying myself in Seattle, some wild weather — including at least one tornado — rampaged through my part of Illinois. The house (and cats) survived, though some of the street signs around the corner were bent in two.

Power and cable are sporadic, so posting may be a little intermittent for the next day or two.

Back to the ‘Con this morning. Much shorter line to get today — and better weather as well. Once inside, the first thing we did was stop by the CBLDF booth. I re-upped my membership, and in return got a copy of All-Star Superman signed by Grant Morrison. Nice.

Next, Robin and I swung by the Comics Fairplay booth and met Heidi and Jim Meeley. Had a great talk with them, particularly with Heidi. I did get to connect with Laura as well, but more briefly than I would have liked (check out the sword she gave to Kurt Busiek).

We proceeded up to the “DC Comics Panel” featuring writers Kurt Busiek and Gail Simone and editor Bob Schreck. It was a fun hour, as all three of the speakers involved can easily be described as…umm…having a strong personality. Not much information was gleaned, but it was an entertaining time nonetheless. (To me, this was the biggest shortcoming with the ECC. It had great guests, dealers, and exhibitors — but few panels. Panels have always been one of the best things about a good con. For one thing, they give me a chence to rest my feet. More, they give me a good chance to learn more about the creator — and see their interactions with one another — than a brief chat getting a sketch or a Newsarama interview will. More panels next year!)

Went back to the Dealer’s Area and picked up a few more Kamandi and Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane. I also bought several Batman Family and Superman Family comics. I also managed to find several PSA comics in a 25¢ box, so expect some fun over the next few PSA Mondays.

It was a nice weekend for the Hawk & Dove fanatic as well. Saturday, Rob Liefeld was kind enough to sign his five issues of the Hawk & Dove mini-series. Say what you will about Liefeld and his recent art, his Hawk & Dove work was good and he was extremely friendly and easy to talk with. He pointed out a couple of facts about the Hawk & Dove covers that I had never knoen. Sunday, I met Karl Kesel and chatted with him about Hawk & Dove, as well as some more recent work, and geot him to sign the comics as well.

Robin and I left the ‘con about 1:00 and headed over to the Science Fiction Museum. It was interesting and had some great stuff, but I was a little underwhelmed. Robin liked it a great deal better. I suspect it is because the museum is aimed at the general public and not a specific “science fiction fan” audience. I would have liked something more in depth, but if I were a science fiction novice I would have probably found it just right. Note to Sterling: The first issue of Swamp Thing is used as one of the exhibits in the Science Fiction and Society display. Other comics were mostly limited to some of the older EC titles.

Tonight, we’re just going to relax at the hotel, play in the pool, and have a simple dinner. Tomorrow — back to St. Louis!

The Polite-Wife and I are safely in Seattle. It was a long plane flight — because we had to go through Dallas, but a comfortable one. I was able to polish off two books (the latest Spencer book by Robert Parker and R is for Ricochet by Sue Grafton) while Robin read one of her “chick lit” books and burned through some Sudoku.

The Emerald City Comicon has been nice. We has to stand out in a light rain for a few minutes before entering, but it wasn’t bad. Once inside, it was a nice setup in one large room containig exhibitors, dealers, and “artist alley.” We meandered for most of the day, talking to a variety of professionals — finally got to meet Gail Simone…

Scrounging through the dealers’ area, I managed to fill some holes in my Kamandi and Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane collections. I’m one issue shy of filling out my Flash collection (#92). There were many dealers carrying Silver Age comics, but few carried much more than the super-hero titles, so I only managed to find one issue of Dr. Kildare and no Doctor Tom Brent, Medical Intern.

Thanks to everybody’s suggestions for places to eat. Tonight we head off for Andaluca for some Spanish themed food.

Tomorrow, back to the Con. We also want to fit in a visit to the Science Fiction Museum before we leave Seattle.

Other comic book connection to Caesar…

Contrary to popular belief, Las Vegas does experience four seasons. There is summer, which lasts from late-March through early-September, and is dry and extremely hot. There is winter, which lasts from late-September through early-March. It is dry and not-nearly as hot (and sometimes even cool).

Fall lasts for a week in September. Hard rains, usually with some flooding. Similarly, spring lasts for a single week – the second week of March. Light drizzly rains and cool temperatures every year, like clockwork.

So why does NASCAR choose this week to run the race in Las Vegas? One of the two weeks it’s virtually guaranteed to rain (or snow, as was the case this year)?

I’ve been trying to play Dungeons & Dragons Online all weekend. I haven’t been able to log in to the server once. Looking at various message boards around the web, this has been a significant problem and seems to be generating a good amount of ill will and an upset customer base.

Consider Dungeons & Dragons Online strongly NOT RECOMMENDED until this problem can be fixed.

It’s time for my bimonthly look at what search terms brought people to Polite Dissent over the past two months. Sure, it’s a lzay post — but a fun one.

Common search terms:

• Weird n Wild creatures, Scottie from Mythbusters, and D&D module X2 (Castle Amber)

Trivia (Some people are clearly entering trivia questions verbatim as search terms. This is particularly evident in the last question as it starts out with the category. Click and drag the mouse to reveal the answer.)

• What cable hit is introduced by the voice over what happens when people stop being polite and start being real? Answer: The Real World
• Drs Kildare and Gillespie could be found in which hospital? Answer: Blair General
• gen x tv before coming to WKRP johnny fever got fired for saying what word on the air? Answer:Booger

Medical Concerns:

• Humorous spiral fracture Spiral fractures are rarely funny, at least to the people who have them. I suspect you want information on a spiral fracture of the humerus.
• Strep throat involving blisters on plate of mouth Blisters on the roof of the mouth are more suggestive of a viral sore throat than a strep throat.
• How many vials of csf are take during lumbar puncture? Usually four.
• What can I do to lower my blood pressure besides medicine? The big three: Healthy diet (low sodium), weight loss, and aerobic exercise — lots of it.

Alternative Medicine:

• Blood type O personality traits I hope I don’t have to tell you that any connection between blood types and personality is nonsense. Still, it is a common concept in many Eastern cultures and shows up in manga from time to time.
• Homeopathic remedy scaphoid fractures First, homeopathy is a ridiculous concept and doesn’t work. Second, no medicine can fix a scaphoid fracture. Third, scaphoid fractures can have long-term consequences if not repaired, so I’d suggest going to see an actual medical doctor.
• Incurable autoimmune disease natural cures Anyone else see the logical error here?

• Mistletoe side effects homeopathy Homeopathic remedies are nothing more than water, so there should be no side effects.

You People Are Sick (presented without comment):

• Wonder girl chloroform
• Sarah sutton dr who nyssa bondage
• How many seasons of Full House are there on DVD
• Self-circumcision clamp

I’d be Interested to Know What They Were Thinking:

• nuns & comics
• comic books with sodium involved
• sputum fantastic 4

Miscellaneous:

• Hostess cupcakes. For some reason, it pleases me to know that my site turns up in a search for “Hostess Cupcakes.”
• Playlists for depressing songs. I suspect it depends a great deal on your taste in music. I consider Billy Joel’s Captain Jack to be one of the most depressing songs ever. And one of my friends in college felt that if you could listen to the Pink Floyd album The Final Cut all the way through and not contemplate suicide, then you were uncommonly stable (or in denial)
• Bode Miller fanfiction. You can tell it’s fiction because Bode actually wins.
• Digital Fortress is the worst book ever. I agree it’s not a good book, but there are worse books out there. I mean, I actually finished this book and there are many books so bad I couldn’t finish them (one that springs to mind as an overly praised work I could never finish is A Confederacy a Dunces.) Digital Fortress does follow the same plot Dan Brown uses in every book.
• inttel inside idiot outside What’s funny is that they spelled Intel wrong

Scene from Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #3. Words by Straczynski, Pencils by Wieringo

Good job everyone! I think you got almost all the errors on my list, plus caught a few I missed.

Here’s the list I came up with:

1. Anatomy. The vena cava is a vein, not an artery (and it’s the “superior vena cava,” not the “upper vena cava”). A collpased lung is in the chest, not the abdomen.
2. Sterile Technique. Only the surgeon facing us is scrubbed in (he’s the only one in a full gown). At the very least, the OR Tech should be scrubbed in as she is handing him supposedly sterile equipment.
3. General Operating Room Technique. What’s with all the papers/cloths on the floor? Not are they liable to trip someone, the nurse carefully counts all equipment like that — several times during the operation — to make sure nothing is left inside the patient. There should be some sort of screen between the anesthesiologist (especially since he’s not sterile) and the patient. And what’s with all the blood? There should never be that much blood on the floor — or the patient for that manner.
4. Lines. Peter needs IV fluids, lots of them. Just a hint, if there’s enough blood to make a puddle on the floor, the patient probably needs a transfusion, or at the very least IV fluids. There should be a suction machine as well, to suck up all the blood, especially in the surgical field.
5. Airway. Peter should have been intubated. However, if he’s been so beaten up that he can’t be intubated in the normal manner, there is always nasal intubation or a trach. Anyway, if he’s that beaten up then there’s no way a mask would work.
6. Machines. What’s with all the machines? It’s like that scene in the beginning of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life where they keep looking for the machine that goes “ping!” Also, if you’re going to have a light box for x-rays inside the OR (and most do), it would be a good idea to position it so that the surgeon can see it (and that is the most bizarre “rib” x-ray I have ever seen).
7. Emergency Care. Despite being injured, Peter was never placed on a back board or neck brace (I know it’s not in this scene, but I’m counting it anyway). Remember, the ABCs – Airway (mentioned earlier), Breathing (Hello? Collapsed lung? This should be what is fixed first), Circulation (after A and B are taken care of, then the surgeons can address all the rest of the bleeding). Peter’s in shock and ORs are cold — he should be covered up.
8. Lights. The lights are way too far back — they’re should be right over the patient. The shadows are bad — the surgeon’s shadow obstructs the surgical field and that would never happen in real life.

Spent most of the weekend watching the Olympics, from the opening ceremony (a Ferrari doing donuts? What the-) on. I did take a break for the NASCAR Bud Shootout, a short race at Daytona with a field limited to racers who won a pole last year and past winners of the Shootout. Random thoughts follow.

Olympics:

• Women’s Olympic Hockey is hockey perfection. You can actually see the skill and fluidity that make hockey a compelling sport, and not jst the brute-fest it has become in the NHL.
• I can’t say I’m disappointed that Bode Miller didn’t win. I’m glad that Chad Hedrick and Shaun White won.
• Ice skaters performing to Led Zeppelin. Never thought I’d live to see that.

NASCAR:

• It’ll take a while to get used to the new Ford Fusions.
• While I generally detest restrictor plate races, the changes to the aero-package made this a watchable race. Hopefully this will also hold true for next week’s Daytona 500.
• Kyle Bush remains top of my list for largest a**es in racing. I’ll grant that he is a modestly skilled driver, but he has nowhere near the talent he thinks he has, and he can’t pull off the moves he thinks he can. He only knocked out two other drivers yesterday, but then it was a short race.
• Jeff Burton has won the pole for next week’s Daytona 500. Burton is one of the most underappreciated drivers out there, and one of the most wellspoken. Watch: whenever the mainstream media needs to talk to a NASCAR driver it will inevitably be Jeff Burton or Dale Jarrett as they are only two who really know who to talk well.

When writing my House review yesterday, I was trying to find a website that provided a good layman’s explanation of what a controlled subtance is. I never found such a site and ended up posting a ink to the overly verbose and legalistic Controlled Substance Act itself.

When I Googled “controlled substance”, I was fascinated by the ad that accompanied the results. Apparently, they will sell anything on eBay.

(For the record, I clicked on the ad and it took me to auctions for radio controlled cars and other items with “controlled” in the title. Not quite the same thing.)

It’s my birthday Saturday, so I’ll be taking the weekend off.

I’ll be back on Monday.

Being a household consisting of a family doctor and a teacher, we often get things in the mail designed for children. Case in point today, when we got a sample packet of “Weird n’ Wild Creatures” cards. These are good sized full-color cards, each detailing a particulardangerous animal. They can describe current animals (anaconda, grat white shark), historical creatures (saber-toothed tiger, dinosaurs), or mythical beasts (cerberus, hydra). If I were five or six years old, this would be cool. I was totally into dinosaurs and monsters at the age, and could bore an adult to tears with my recital of dry dinosaur facts.

However, since I’m no longer five, the cards got pitched after a brief review and reminiscence. One thing quickly caught my eye: included with the larger cards were a set of smaller cards of the same creatures set up as a collectible card game. Clever idea, but clearly incorrect. Everyone knows that Nessie could easily take out nearly any other animals (except maybe King Kong, Godzilla, or Titano), but these cards have her losing to a frilled lizard and a tree frog. Nessie, call your lawyer.

Attack:3 Defense:3 Life:90	Attack:7 Defense:4 Life:100
Attack:2 Defense:8 Life:80	Attack:3 Defense:4 Life:70

It seems the server was down most of the day. So much for my posting plans. Oh well, it gave me a chance to play Lego Star Wars (now that game is tremendous fun).

I’ll catch up tomorrow…

Finishing up the Trivia Night questions with rounds seven through ten. These were some of the hardest rounds, particularly rounds eight and ten.

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Continuing the Trivia Night questions, rounds three through six.
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The game consisted of ten rounds of ten questions each. There were ten categories, so each round consisted of ane question from each category. Twelve teams competed, and each team could have up to 8 people.

Each team could also purchase up to ten “mulligans.” They could use a mulligan once per round to skip a question, yet still get full credit for it. Most teams purchased the maximum ten mulligans.

I was originally going to spread out the tough questions evenly over the ten rounds, but I was concerned that because of the mulligans, teams would be able to skip all the hard questions. Instead, I saved the harder questions for the last five rounds (and this is reflected in the fact that the percentage of right answers for the first five rounds averaged out at 65%; but dropped to 41% for the last five rounds).

I tried hard to have a variety a questions so that having a well-rounded team would be important. I avoided trick questions.

Questions are below the cut. The category is in brackets at the begining of each question. Answers will be in the comment section.
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Expect posting to be a little sparse this weekend asI get ready for the Trivia Night sponsored by my office tonight. It’s our first time hosting one and my first time working at one, not to mention that I’m repsonsible for all the questions. If all goes well, I’ll post the questions (and answers) Sunday night for all to see (and comment on, complain about, and “tell me where I went wrong”)

One thing about the web: it stores your typos forever. A few days ago, I noticed that someone had ended up on my site by searching for the word “venticular.” This led them here, and it seems that I misspelled ventricular as venticular in one of my first posts. So now I’m torn, do I fix the typo, or do I leave it for posterity? I think I’ll leave it.

Tangent #1
What’s amazing is that venticular seems to be a very common misspelling. If you search for it, you’ll find pages and pages of links — and Polite Dissent doesn’t even show up until about page 5. Someone has way too much time on their hands to find my little site on a list like that.

Tangent #2
I’ve noticed that misspellings are surprisingly common in scientific papers published online, particularly the ones that are several years old. Some of it is probably due to poor spelling and editing, but I suspect much of it comes down to bad OCR and proof-reading afterwards. I assume someone scanned in an older paper and posted it online. That would explain all the misspellings of arthroscopy as anthroscopy. An r and n look similar to an OCR program, so arthro- becomes anthro-. You may remember that anthroscopy ended up in an issue of JSA and I’ve wondered was it a misspelling on the part of the letterer (or writer), or did Geoff Johns do some faulty online research and think that anthroscopy was a real word?

The CBDR — the Comic Book Drug Reference — continues to be updated. Well over 100 different drugs now, not even counting the appendices.

I’ve been spending several hours a day for the last week playing Dungeon Siege II. The original Dungeon Siege was one of my favorite hack-and-slash style RPGs, and it had some innovative concepts, especially in regards to skills and character progression. The new game logically extends some of these concepts into a more comprehensive skill and bonus system.

Overall, this game is a slightly prettier version of the original Dungeon Siege. That’s not necessarily a bad thing: the same could be said about Diablo II, another favorite game. The underlying storyline is incrementally better as well.

Dungeon Siege II is an enjoyable game, but it’s also one of the most frustrating games I’ve played recently. I’d like to recommend it unreservedly, but I can’t. There are too many poorly thought out gameplay elements. In fact, there are several areas where Dungeon Siege II has actually taken a step backwards from the original game:

1. Saves. Unlike the original game, players are only allowed a single save game in Dungeon Siege II. And while you can save anywhere, you always start over in the nearest city, not the spot where you saved. This leads to a lot of needless trudging throughout the game. If this were a console game — or even a console port — I could understand this; but this is a PC game and there’s no need for this frustrating save system, especially since the first game did it right. (There’s also no easy way to load the saved game. You have to go back to the main menu and load it from there, you can’t load it in game).
2. Pathfinding. I’m having more problems with pathfinding AI in this game. The members of my party routinely get stuck behind walls and rocks.
3. The screen real estate is too cluttered. There are character portraits and status displays in the upper left, a large information panel in the top center (that all too often obscures other menus), and a large “order bar” at the bottom with a map. There are no hot keys that will hide/reveal this information as in the first game. You can resize the character information (to a point), but you have to click and drag each portrait separately. Increasing the resolution helps with this cluttering to some degree, but it also makes the map (the one useful item on the order bar) significantly harder to read (especially when trying to find those important “blue dots.”)
4. Shopping is an annoyingly inefficient. If I want to stock up on potions, I have to drag and drop each potion individually. If I’m buying 10 potions for each member of my party, this means I’ll need to do this 40 or 60 times. In the original version, there was a hot key you could click to buy an item instead of having to drag and drop.
5. The game has limits in the original setting (”Mercenary”). Your party can’t be any larger than four, including pets and pack mules. The more powerful enemies and better treasures are not encountered. You can only get a larger party, stronger foes, and better treasures by playing the games at the higher levels — but you can’t play thses levels until you “unlock” them by finishing the Mercenary setting. This forces repetition if you want to get your money’s worth. It seems to me that players should want to play the game again, not be forced to.

While most of these are annoyances, the save game situation is a real distraction. What is so frustrating is that the original game got all these right. The cynic in me suspects the programmers were trying to lengthen a short game, or focused too much on multiplayer to the detriment of the single player.

Unless these issues can be fixed, I’d recommend waiting to pick up Dungeon Siege II in the bargain bin in a few months.

The clinic where I work is hosting a Trivia Night on January 21st here in O’Fallon, Illinois. All the money raised will be going to one of the local hospital charities. It’ll be a fun night, plus it’s relatively inexpensive as Trivia Nights go. We’re just fifteen minutes east of St. Louis, so I encourage anyone in the area to join a team and compete.

Plus, I’m in charge of the questions, so you know it’ll be worth a laugh or two…

It’s time to pause and take a moment to look at what search phrases brought folks to Polite Dissent. The usual suspects (Dave Trampier, Gor, Hawk and Dove, Zatanna) were all near the top, joined this month by quite a few searches for both the Bing Crosby/David Bowie “Little Drummer Boy” and the apalling Beach Boys song “Little Saint Nick.”

Search phrases are in green. My comments — if any were required — are italicized.

Love’s Not Time’s Fool Department
english translation of shakespeare noval taming of the shrew
You do realize that Taming of the Shrew was written in English, right?
lyrics i hate men from taming of the shrew
“I Hate Men” is from the musical Kiss Me, Kate which is based on Taming of the Shrew, in more ways than one. Anyway, it’s a great song (particularly the line about Lassie), and here are the lyrics.

Good Questions Department
what happened to scottie mythbusters
I wonder that myself. And what happened to the original assistant Christy?
if a wound is cleaned and medicine put on the cut will it prevent tetanus
Tetanus is most common in puncture wounds and burns. Cleaning a wound helps, but sometimes it’s not enough, and that’s where the tetanus vaccine come in.

Medical Questions Department
medication error involving a nurse on atropine
Was the atropine the medication error, or was the nurse on atropine (which seems bizarre)?
what drug is in the form of a blue pill
There are many, including Clarinex, Synthroid, and Warfarin — just off the top of my head. This one’s probably the one you’re thinking off, though.

You People Scare Me Department
where to purchase animal immunizing dart guns
wkrp fiction and wkrp fanfic
fan fiction;robin; kidnap;chloroform

I Have No Idea What These People are Even Talking About Department
staph infection is frog puncture would in horse
as i wants addresses of alls of alls attackers

I’m taking today off in anticpation of having to work the clinic and be on call for the next three days.

I hope everyone had a nice weekend and a pleasant holiday. The Polite-Family officially celebrated Christmas (and all associated or non-associated, non-denominational and pagan holidays) today because we were waiting for my wife to return from visiting her family. As luck would have it, her plane had to make an abrupt change-of-landing due to fog, and she ended up spending most of Christmas evening stranded in the Springfield, Missouri, airport. I finally picked her up at the local airport at 3:30 AM, and she was asleep before we left the airport parking lot.

Today, we had my parents over as well as my sister for our annual bout of eating, gift giving, eating, card games, and eating. As always, there were some truly bizarre gifts (Marvel really needs to pay more attention to where it is licensing its characters) and some spectacular food. It all finished with several hands of the mystery/card game Sleuth which is still going on downstairs as I type this up.

Much of the comic relief is provided by the pets. My sister brings her dog Suman over, and let’s just say that our cats aren’t particularly fond of him…

Regular blogging resumes tomorrow.

In my humble opinion, the worst Christmas song ever is Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys.
Why? For starters, it’s overplayed — every store and radio station that believes itself to be hip plays it — and it’s even in a Coca-cola ad now (and don’t those penguins realize that polar bears eat penguins?). But most of all, it’s for that fact that it contains the most banal line in any Christmas song, ever:

Christmas comes this time each year

No duh.

My favorites?
I’m partial to the Boss’s version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Burl Ives’s Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. My favorite is the Bing Crosby/David Bowie duet of Little Drummer Boy. While it’s a cleverly written duet, I just love the juxtaposition of the ultra straight-laced Crosby (remember that SNL sketch “The Crosby Show”?) singing with Ziggy Stardust himself.

UPDATE:
Chris takes on another horrible Christmas song, Christmas Shoes, over at his blog. I had totally forgotten that one, but he’s right, that song’s sugary enough to cause diabetes in listeners. Thankfully it’s not played as much as Little Saint Nick.

Day Eleven of the Comic Book Cover Advent Calendar. That means that there’s only two weeks left until Christmas! Have your shopping done? I sure don’t — I need to hunt down a few more presents myself.

Speaking of hunting, today’s cover is Sable #14, from April 1994. Looks like this game-warden-turned-mercenary-and-children’s-author has taken out a contract on Santa. Bet it was Mrs. Claus and we’ll be seeing it on A&E sometime soon (City Confidential: The North Pole).

14 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view

Please visit Yet Another Comics Blog for Dave’s Annual CBLDF Fund Drive.

After we moved into this house in August, I decided to build a shelf in the basement to hold all my comic books. It had to be big — I wanted it to hold 50 long boxes — and it had to be sturdy — the weight from all those comics accumulates quickly.

Despite working at the clinic both days this weekend, I was able to find time to build the shelves. They’ll hold at least 50 long boxes (51 I think) and they’re very strong. I added extra support and braces throughout. Each shelf can easily support the weight of a grown man.

The frames are constructed of 2″ x 4″ studs and the shelves are ½” OSB. Everything’s held together with 2½” deck screws, except for a few pocket screws on the facing that are 2″ washer-head screws. The shelf is just over 100″ (8′4″) long, 3 feet deep and the top shelf is 68″ (5′8″) off the ground.

Here’s the shelf empty:

And here’s the shelf full:

There’s 34 long boxes, 2 short boxes up top (though 1 is empty, I bought it just for the cats to play in so they’d stay out of my comic boxes), and 12 Diamond-shipping boxes full of comics on the bottom shelves. I’ll find time to put them into long boxes some day.

Yes, my long boxes are beat up and covered with tape. I’ve moved three times in the past four years and the moving men do love to tape those boxes tight. As far as I’m concerned, the boxes are doing their job. They’re storing and protecting my comics. Looking pretty is not a requirement.

If you look closely at the boxes, you’ll notice the remnants of several old filing systems. When I just had a few boxes, I wrote the contents on each box. That system gave way to a numbered box system. That was followed by a letter code system. I still use a variant of that system today. Each box has a letter code and I have an Excel spreadsheet that tells me in which box each comic series is located.

A fascinating article about an idea that was before its time: Lego Mindstorms: What Went Wrong?

For those of you unfamiliar with Mindstorms, it was a series of kits released by Lego in 1988 1998 that allowed users to build robots out of Legos and program them with their computers. It was a brilliant concept, but one that went nowhere fast. Lego stopped supporting the line (except for the starter kit), and despite an avid online community, it’s hard to find parts or information now.

I thought Mindstorms was a clever idea, and saved up to purchase one. I couldn’t find any sets in the local stores, so I had to get it from the online Lego site. I bought the starter set plus two expansions back in ‘01 and, to be honest, they’ve been gathering dust on my shelf since then.

Why did such a clever product go wrong? The article lists some key reasons, here’s a few of my own:

• Co$t. Those kits were expensive.
• Scarcity. The kits were hard to find, even on eBay where they cost an arm and a leg (and a second leg for shipping).
• No useful project ideas came with the kits. There were some silly project instructions, but nothing remotely useful. When you build a robot you want it to do something neat, not just go around in a circle. The online community has built some incredible robots from Legos (like one that solves Rubik’s Cubes), but I’m nowhere near that smart. I want something I can build that does something at least a little useful, but doesn’t take an engineering degree to build.
• Sloppy programming. The Mindstorm software automatically installed in an upper level directory (an easy to fix annoyance, but why shouldn’t they default to the Program Files directory, like every other program on the planet). The directory name was all caps too (/LEGO_MINDSTORMS). Plus, it automatically started every time I booted Windows. Yes, these are all easy to fix default settings, but I shouldn’t have to fix them. Any competent programmer knows better.

I think it was those last two that are the main reason the kits are sitting undisturbed on my shelf. I want to build something neat, not useless, and I don’t want to have to wade through sloppy programming to do it.

One of these days I’d love to dig out Mindstorms and build something to be proud of. If I could just find the time (maybe after I finish my latest project: a shelving unit designed to hold 50 long boxes* — now that’s something useful!)

*No, I don’t have quite that many (yet). I’m planning for the future.

While at the theater yesterday, we saw the trailer for Superman Returns. I had seen it on the internet, but it’s much better in the theater. I can understand why people dislike thecostume or the messianic aspects of the trailer. Personally, I like the trailer, but pretty much for just one reason: the music.

You really have to see the trailer in the theater to appreciate it — computer speakers simply won’t work. As the Warner Brothers emblem appears on the screen, the familiar low roll of the music starts. As the DC sigil appears and the trailer itself begins, horns come in. More horns join in and then the tympani. You are immersed in the full majesty of one of the most perfect pieces of cinematic music — the Planet of Krytpon Theme. Hearing it reverberate from the the vast theater speakers made the trailerworthwhile. I understand there may have been some movie footage in the trailer too, but I missed it; I was listening to the music.

The Polite-Wife and I just returned from seeing Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I thoroughly enjoyed it; it’s may favorite of the movies to date, but I’m not certain why exactly it was rated PG-13 and not PG. Still, there was something bothering me about the movie, and the books as well. It took me a while to understand what it was that bothered me, but then I realized the answer: harry Potter is suffering from G-Force Syndrome.

Growing up, one of my favorite TV shows was Battle of the Planets (or “G-Force,” as we called it). It has action, heroes, robots, the Phoenix, and plots that only a child could love. We would run around the elementary school playground pretending to be different members of the team (for the record, I was always Mark and never Jason). One part of the show annoyed me, even as a child. Every day, every episode, it was the same villain. Some episodes, it may seem at first that there’s a different villain, but it always ends up being Zoltar pulling the strings and manipulating everything. It was fun at first, but always having the team face the same villain quickly got tiresome.

This is the same problem I have with the Harry Potter books and movies. I enjoy them; they’re entertaining and do a wonderful job of capturing the imagination. Still, at the back of my mind is the knowledge that the plot will all tie into Voldemort somehow once again. The Tri-Wizard Tournament was a great plot in and of iteself — no need for more. Tying it in to Voldemort just cheapened Harry, and looking back a similar thing happened in most of the other books. It’s Battle of the Planets all over again.

I’ve cleared up the database glitch (I’m pretty sure I have anyway…), so I can resume posting now.

My usual music listening software had been MusicMatch Jukebox. It’s an excellent mp3 player, it has a wide variety of good online radio stations, and it has a good selection of downloadable content. Howeve,r I’ve noticed that it’s been eating more and more CPU cycles recently, to the point where I am unable to multi-task (and I live for multi-tasking). It’s not just some quirk with my home computer, I’ve noticed the same problem on my work computer. Because of this, I’ve been looking around for some alternate music software.

I’ve never liked Microsoft’s Media Player (I don’t trust it), so I’ve avoided using that. I tried iTunes, and while I appreciate its mp3 playing, I’m not as impressed by its online music stations. XM Radio seems to have the best online radio. I have an XM radio at home, so I can use its online content for free. In particular I’ve enjoyed station #44 “Fred” — which is described as “classic alternative rock”. Basically, it’s the alterntive rock I listened to during high school and college.

It’s been great listening to all that music again. In addition to the usual suspects (the Cure, Oingo Boingo, Depeche Mode, REM) , there have been the occasional bands that I enjoyed that I had loved but totally forgotten about: the Jesus and Mary Chain, Book of Love, and Bauhaus.

I think I’m scaring the nurses though.

• I finally saw that television commercial for the Kawasaki Ninja agin. The tagline is “It’s hard to stay unnoticed.” That pretty much contradicts the whole idea of “ninja.”
• As an example of Kyle Busch saying stupid things:
  Interviewed after yesterday’s race, Busch smugly stated that he beat Greg Biffle again (Biffle finished second to Busch in both of Busch’s wins) and that maybe someday Biffle would be able to beat him. He seems to have forgotten that Biffle has won 5 races this season, so by definition, Biffle has already beaten him five times.
• Busch first caught my attention last year when he was still a driver in the Busch Series. He was proud that he had his blood type embroidered on his uniform in case there was a crash. Sorry Kyle, but it doesn’t work that way. If there’s an accident, the odds are that your clothes will be cut away long before anyone thinks to look there for your blood type. And why would they look there in the first place? Anyway, why would the hospital trust what your clothes say anyway? In an emergency they’re going to run Type O blood until the Type and Cross comes back.
• Two thumbs up for the Hillary Duff as Anne Frank sketch on Robot Chicken. That was hilarious.
• I’ve been enjoying MonkeyBrain Books recently. I just finished Matt Rossi’s (of Howling Curmudgeons fame) book Things That Never Were (two thumbs up) and Jess Nevin’s The Encyclopedia of Fantastic Victoriana just arrived in the mail today and I look forward to digging into the impressive looking hardback.
• Pet peeve of the day: website that automatically start playing sound files. And it’s never ever good music.
• Was the recent Green Arrow #53 the first mention of an experimental serum being involved in the origin of Solomon Grundy, or had that unfortunate ret-con been mentioned before?

An interesting week and weekend in NASCAR. It really all started about two months back…

There had been some controversy since Roush Racing signed Jamie MacMurray to drive for the team in the 2007 season — the year after next. Since McMurray was still under contract to Ganassi Racing at the time, this was seen as “poaching” another team’s driver. It’s certainly not against the rules, just against one of the many “gentleman’s agreements” that seem to make up the NASCAR rules. A few weeks later, Penske racing signed Kurt Busch — one of Roush’s drivers — for the 2007 season and most commentators seemed content that some sort of cosmic karma had been satisfied. Busch immediately wanted his Roush contract canceled so he could start racing for Penske in 2006, but Roush would have none of it.

Jamie McMurray is a good driver and seems to be a genuinely pleasant person. The same cannot be said of Kurt Busch. He has been arrogant since starting the sport and only got worse after winning the NASCAR championship last year. He’s a decent enough driver — but not a great driver — and owes most of last year’s win to NASCAR’s ridiculous “Race for the Chase” playoff system. Though he certainly realizes that fact, he has spent much of the season spouting off in a manner that would make Muhammed Ali blush.

In the past few weeks, in what is known as “Silly Season,” teams hired and fired drivers for the 2006 season (now, whether the driver left the team or the team let the driver go often depends on who you ask). Michael Waltrip and Kenny Schrader are changing teams. Bobby Labonte (my favorite driver) left Gibbs Racing and signed on with Petty Racing (my least favorite team) — so I’m caught in a conundrum. On the midst of this, McMurry and Busch were both quietly let out of their contracts so that they could race for their new teams next year. Everybody’s happy…right? Wrong.

This past Friday night, Kurt Busch was caught speeding and running a stop sign in Phoenix. There is a report that there was alcohol on his breath and that he was less-than-nice to the officer involved. Given that Crown Royal is his sponsor, and he has made public service announcements about drunk driving, this was a dangerous irony. Roush suspended Busch for the rest of the season in a tersely worded statement essentially saying that they were washing their hands of him. Bear in mind that Busch is the reigning NASCAR champion and involved in this year’s “Race for the Chase” (though well behind in the points), yet he was suspended without a second thought. Maybe a little bad blood there? His brother Kyle, another driver, rallied to his brother’s defense and I’ve never seen someone put their foot in their mouth so often in a twenty-second sound bite.

Nothing caps off a week better than a healthy serving of schadenfreude.

Each unit in the American armed forces has its own coin. Usually made of brass and 1½ to 2 inches in diameter, these coins are generally struck with the unit’s seal, motto and other identifying information. Special coins are sometimes made to celebrate missions and other accomplishments. In addition, Unit Commanders have special coins that they hand out as a reward for a job exceptionally well done.

This link list a brief history of military coins. Here is more abbreviated history, but more importantly: the rules for the Coin Check, sometimes called the Coin Challenge. Here’s a stricter set of challenge rules. (When the docs and nurses from my clinic met after work for Happy Hour, we were frequently challenged because people apparently figured that the medical corps wasn’t military enough to carry coins — they were qucikly proven wrong. We could usually count on at least 2 free rounds each Friday).

I have a small collection of military coins. While some people traded for coins from other units, I stuck with coins from the units I was assigned to or served with, or missions I participated in.

This is the standard 820th RED HORSE coin. The front side shows the 820th seal and location. The back side has the unit motto around the edge. It also lists what the acronym RED HORSE stand for. Given that this was designed by one of the unit’s Chief Master Sergeants, it’s ironic that he screwed up the acronym. The first “E” stands for Engineers not Engineering.

When the 820th was deployed to the United Arab Emirates, it became the 820th Expeditionary RED HORSE Squadron. This second coin was cast to commemorate that mission. The front of the coin shows a stylized horse’s head/American flag combination. The back of the coin states “Operation Enduring Freedom” and lists how our contribution to the mission went. It may sound like bragging, but it’s really not. RED HORSE set an incredible record for the amount of tarmac laid in 6 months, particularly in a desert environment. The back of the coin also shows a map of the Middle East. The RED HORSE symbol is just above UAE where we were stationed. It’s hard to see on the smaller image (so click here for a larger one), but there is a hoofprint on the map for each project we contributed to while deployed.

Happy Veterans’ Day and a hearty thank you to all veterans, past and present. A special thanks to all my friends and former co-workers in the 99 ABW, 99 MDG and 820 RED HORSE.

1. The Count
As a young child, I was always scared of the Count.

Cookie Monster? Not scary. Grover? Not scary (more pathetic really.) Big Bird? Well, he was a little creepy. Elmo? Way before my time. But the Count…he was scary.

I think the main reason was a recurring nightmare I had as a child that I can still remember to this day. In the dream I was chased down a long hallway by the Count and a Grandfather clock with arms and legs. When they caught me, they wadded me up like a piece of paper and through threw me down a stairwell. (Well, it was scary to a four year-old…)

I’m not sure what the dream meant (if anything). Maybe deep down I’m scared of math and promptness? All I know is that I still don’t trust the Count to this day.

2. The Giant Ants from Them!
I loved to read about the classic horror movies, but the first one I actually managed to see in the theater was Them! It was a late night showing at a small out-of-the-way theater of what was then a twenty year old movie, and I recall that I watched most of it scrunched down as small as possible in my chair. The movie may have been black and white, but those ants gave me nightmares for months.

(For those of you unfamiliar with Them!, it was one of the better horror films of the ’50s. Atomic testing in the American Southwest causes a nest of ants to grow to giant size and develop a taste for human flesh. The initial colony is destroyed, but some ants escape. These ants are eventually cornered in the streets and sewers of New York LA. Them! was one of the classic Cold War post-nuclear cautionary tales including such other movies as The Deadly Mantis, Godzilla and Yentl.)

3. Max

The monsters from Where the Wild Things Are were fine. Max though, he was creepy…

4. That Tentacled Monster from Space: 1999
It’s one of those weird situations. I’ve only seen one episode of Space: 1999, but I’ve seen that same episode several times. Whenever I tried to watch the show as a kid, it was always the same episode. I soon gave up on trying to watch the show altogether.

All I remember about the episode (“Dragon’s Domain“) is that among all the low-bid “futuristic” sets and smoke-machine fog, there was this nasty tentacled monster that would devour people and then spit out their dessicated corpses. That’s the part that really creeped me out: the shriveled mummy-like corpses.

About the same time (thanks to a local TV station’s Creature Feature movie week), I also ran across the black-and-white groaner The Creeping Terror. In this grade-Z horror film, a shambling alien mass that looked like it was pieced together from carpet remnants would attack and devour nubile young teenage girls, leaving behind shriveled corpses. Of course, the effects were so bad that the monster couldn’t “devour” anything, and its victims had to throw themselves into its mouth to be eaten. Unsurprisingly, The Creeping Terror got the full MST3K treatment, though I’m proud (ashamed?) that I saw it pre-MST3K. With the horrible special effects, the shriveled corpses in Terror were not scary, but they did remind me a little too much of the nightmare-inspiring corpses from Space: 1999.

• The Creeping Terror earns a 1.8 review on IMDB. Yes, it was that bad. (Manos, The Hands of Fate, considered by many to be the worst movie ever made, only scored 0.1 lower with a 1.7)
• Forget Land of the Lost, where’s my Space: 1999 comeback comic? (Granted, of course, that it’s now 2006).
• Speaking of Space: 1999 comics, here’s the full comic book version of the very episode (“Dragon’s Domain”) that I mentioned above. While it was scanned in from the German Space: 1999 comic, it’s been translated into English.

As a child I loved to read about monsters and watch the classic Universal and Hammer horror movies. I could talk for hours about penny dreadfuls, Varney the Vampire and possible origins of lycanthrope. I could name the stars, explain the plots, and describe the special effects of any horror movie made in the fifties or sixties. Despite this love of things scary, there were still a handful of monsters that gave me nightmares as a child. In celebration of Halloween, I’m going to count down my Top 5 Childhood Monsters…

5. Sleestaks
The scariest monsters on TV and the only remotely coole thing to come out of The Land of the Lost. Everything about the Sleestaks scared me, from the way they walked to their sibilant speech. Those glowing skulls were the creepiest though.
With the recent comic book nostalgia boom, I’m surprised (and a little grateful) that there wasn’t a Land of the Lost comic book.

• Rupert Everett makes a good Sherlock Holmes. I enjoy all the Victorian Era (or close enough at least) medicine and it was nice to see Watson getting his time in the spotlight. Everett was also excellent in The Importance of Being Earnest as well, though they should have left the script as Shaw Wilde had it originally.
• It’s amazing how much cat hair can work its way into a cordless optical mouse. It took me at least an hour to clean it all out.
• I really hate this NASCAR “Race for the Chase” format they started last year. I suspect it also decreases viewership, especially this year when the two biggest names (Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhart Jr) did not make it into the final ten. At least Bobby Labonte did well today.
• I caught The Court Jester last night. I know it’s a classic, but I’d never seen it before. I recognized the voice of the female lead, but couldn’t place her face — then I finally realized where I knew her from: she was the mother in Mary Poppins.
• Thumbs up to both She-Hulk #1 and Dorothy #4.

Right off the bat, SPANC has three things going for it. First, it is published by Steve Jackson Games, publisher of such fine and outstanding games as GURPS, Ogre, Munchkin and Illuminati. Second, the art is by the incomparable Phil Foglio of Girl Genius fame. Third, the concept itself is pure genius: Space Pirate Amazon Ninja Catgirls — what’s not to love?

The game consists of three decks of cards: Crew, Toys, and Challenges. There are also counters to represent Loot and each player’s crew. To start, each player is dealt a crew of four catgirls. Each player also starts with one Toy (think “gear”) card and 2 loot markers.

Crew members are scored in 4 abilities: Space Pirate (representing gunnery, piloting and carousing), Amazon (outdoor survival and intimidation), Ninja (sneakiness), and Catgirl (fashion sense and sex appeal). Attaching a Toy card to a crew member may raise one or more of these scores (or may lower one of them). Certain “one time use” Toy cards grant dice re-rolls, returns from the dead and other special abilities.

Each turn, the players attempt to complete a “caper.” Each caper is composed of four Challenge cards, each requiring a different skill to succeed. To beat a challenge, the crew member must roll their skill or less on two dice. The best crew (and the best toys) will finish the challenges and complete the caper. This earns that player more loot and more toys. The first player to obtain 10 loot wins.

SPANC is quick-playing, fun, easy to learn game. Anyone who enjoys Steve Jackson games or Phil Foglio comics will love this game, as will anyone with an appreciation of Space Pirates, Amazons, Ninjas and/or Catgirls.

• The slogan for the new Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle: Sometimes it’s hard to hide*
  Which makes me think that either Kawasaki or their advertising company doesn’t quite grasp the idea of “ninja” all that well.
• After finishing second in the NASCAR race today, Greg Biffle commented “I was hounding him like a cat ready to pounce.”
  Cat a cat really hound, or can only dogs do that?

*I’m probably paraphrasing slightly, I’ve only seen the ad once, and spent most of it laughing.

It’s a beautiful day, so I’m going to help the Polite-Wife do some painting and then go for a nice long bike ride. See you tomorrow.

That doesn’t look like a PlayStation, it looks more like a George Foreman Grill. I think this is a big step back in design, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

It not only plays video games, but it can grill hamburgers and chops!

Out of nowhere, Hulk and She-Hulk became my number one searches this month. In fact, according to my stats, this post about She-Hulk was by far the most requested page this month and the accompanying picture was Google (or Yahoo) image-searched several times a day. Anyone have any idea why?

medical term foosh
FOOSH is indeed a recognized medical term. It stands for Fall On OutStreched Hand, the sort of injury you’d suffer when falling forward while trying to rollerblade. Scaphoid fractures are common in FOOSH injuries.
ibuprofen or acetaminophen for sprains
Acetaminophen (Tylenol) is an analgesic (pain-killer) and an anti-pyretic (fever reducer); it is NOT an anti-inflammatory so it will not help with swelling. Ibuprofen (Motrin, Advil) — and others of its class including Naproxen (Aleve) — are analgesics, anti-pyretics and anti-inflammatories.

clive cussler books redundant
That may be a little harsh. Let’s just say they’re cliched and predictable.

blood types rare/common
The relative commoness or rarity of the various blood types depends a great deal on geographic location and ethnic background. For the United States, the blood type distribution is generall considered to be the following:

voice of kim possible
Christy Carlson Romano

dem bones brachs candy
It is that time of the year. I’d suggest getting yours at the Oriental Trading Company because they sell the one-pund bags as well as the candy skeletons that come in plastic coffins.

examples of comics portraying depression
other than the classic MD and Psychoanalysis comics from EC, the only one I can think of off-hand was an issue of Flash that dealt with postpartum depression.

Searches that posed interesting questions or ideas:
obscure mammals
detective novels of the weimar republic

I swung by Archon today. I like to spend an hour or two in the art room, going up and down the rows of paintings, drawings and other works. As always, there were many beautiful paintings and sculptures that I would love to own, but an equal number of amateurish one (and I’m not talking about the children’s art display).

1. Please bring along some business cards, or at least post a website address. I may not be looking to buy anything today, but there’s a good chance I will in the future.
2. Just because you can draw a naked women doesn’t mean you should. Really.
3. Pay attention to how women actually sit.
4. I know there are artists (including several in the comic book industry) whose every image is simply a reworking of someone elses’s photograph, often from Playboy or a simlar source. Don’t be one of those artists. It’s sad when four paintings by four different artists all have the idential pose, down to the hands and shadows. And a painfully unlikely pose at that.
5. If you’re going to matt your own work, make sure the matt color and cut complents the art. Bend, dinged and scuffed matts look horrible. Prints that are matted do look a little more professional, but it also limits my options as the buyer.

From an Associated Press article:

Police said last week that DNA evidence suggested the killer was a white man who smoked Camel Turkish Gold cigarettes.

How did this ever slip by the repoter, let alone the editor? It’s no wonder people in the United States have trouble with science when this article by a mainstream news organization tells readers that DNA testing can not only identify a person’s race (false) but also their cigarette preference (so very very false).

Anon, it be that day that be loved above all others: Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Being the good buccaneer that I am, I stole last year’s post, and I be re-posting it (with some additions though matey).

• Talk Like A Pirate Day Official Website
• Download the official Talk Like A Pirate Day Theme mp3 — only 99 ¢ — and it’s from Tom Smith, so you know it’s good! (And for those of you a little low in swag, here are the lyrics)
• Git yer own pirate name, ya’ land lubbers! Pirate Name Generator
• Methinks the Truth be Out There: Pirate and Privateer Legends!
• Some comic-book pirates (and pirate comic books) off the top of me head (to be updated as I think of more):
  • Crossbones
  • The Psycho Pirate
  • Occulus from Fantastic Four
  • And in the Fantastic Four’s first encounter with Dr. Doom (FF #5), The Thing ended up becoming Blackbeard.
  • Pirate Club
  • The evil pirates from My Monkey’s Name is Jennifer
  • The Starjammers
  • The hilarious Scurvy Dogs (”The cow says moo…”)
  • Barbarossa and the Lost Corsairs
  • El Cazador
  • Street Angel #2
  • Long John Silver and the Pirates (Charlton comic from the 1950s)
  • Belit (and Conan, for a time) from the Conan comics (older Marvel volumes)
  • The Black Pirate appeared in some of the 1940s issues of Action Comics
  • There was the pirate comic-within-a-comic in Watchmen (Tales of Black Freighter)
  • Buccaneers from the 1950s
  • The similarly named Buccaneer, also from the 1950s
  • The Golden Medallion, a pirate comic book put out by LEGO
  • The Pirates of Dark Water A kids comic put out by Marvel based on the Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
  • Terry and the Pirates. Sure it was a comic strip, but it’s been reprinted in comic book form several times
  • Then of course there’s Colonia (pointed out to me last year by Laura, the “Scourge of the Seattle Seas”)
  • Pirate Corp$
  • Even Mickey Mouse is getting in on the act: Air Pirates Funnies
  • Metrokitty (the “Feline Felon”) reminded me that there was a pirate as a suporting character in the Starman series (and in one of the Talking with David issues).
  • Speaking of Disney, we can’t forget air pirate Don Carnage from Talespin
  • Pirates appeares in at least one Spirit story
  • EC’s Piracy
  • Indiana Jones and the Sargasso Pirates
  • Some pirates appeared (briefly, before being slaughtered) in Grendel: War Child #4

The Comic Book Drug Reference is now up to 83 unique entries and I’m adding more every week. It’s currently at four pages butI think I’m going to have to give Transmetropolitan its own page soon. I’ve started to add more Golden Age references and I’ve finally gotten around to adding those medications and formulas without specific names (such as “Hank McCoy’s Mutation Formula” or Curt Connor’s “Lizard Serum”).

I know I’m still missing some obvious ones (Sandman’s sleeping gas, Lyle Norg’s invisibility serum and Peter Parker’s six-armed spider serum for example), but if you have any suggestions please feel free to e-mail me. (And as always, the CBDR can be found in the sidebar to your right, under “Special Topics.”)

I had planned on posting my final thoughts on Batman #644 tonight, but the real world intervened and I’m off to provide medical triage for some New Orleans evacuees who should be landing in to our local airport shortly.

Expect a double post Thursday night.

As usual, Polite Dissent was a frequent stop for people searching for Hawk and Dove, Bwana Beast, Dave Trampier and Kim Possible. Some of the more interesting searches this month (with my comments in italics):

• anxious vigilante – The worst type of vigilante. You never know if they’re going to shoot the criminal or a passerby.
• ornithopters fiction – I know Michael Moorcock used them in his writings, especially in the Hawkmoon series.
• hawk and dove homosexual comic – You do realize that the only time Hawk and Dove haven’t been siblings, they’ve been boy/girl, right? You’re either misinformed, or need some serious help.
• medical term for tricycle antidepressants – We tend to call them tricyclic antidepressants, not tricycle. Try searching for that.
• medical terminology for poison ivy – It’s a type IV hypersensitivity reaction (a type of allergy). Old — but still fashionable — terms for poison ivy include rhus dermatitis and toxicoderma dermatitis (from it’s scientific name).
• best anime openings – I like Witch Hunter Robin, Gunsmith Cats, Martian Successor Nadesico and Full Metal Panic best, though I still have a soft spot for Starblazers, with the asteroids circling the ship while the music starts.
• Medical show with Ben Casey – Umm…how about Ben Casey?
• med school disease – This occurs when a medical student is convinced that they have whatever disease they’re currently studying in class.
• the gift of the magi climax – She gives him a watch fob and he gives her a set of brushes.
• superman for the animals – Please, let’s never mention this again.
• orginal bat-girl – Betty Kane, the niece of Kathy Kane (Batwoman). She’s been ret-conned as Bette Kane, Flamebird.

I finally had a chance to sit down and read the House of M (and most of its offshoots) this weekend, and I enjoyed it more than I expected. It got off to a incredibly slow start with House of M #1, but the subsequent issues really picked up the pace. The various offshoot title were mostly enjoyable as well, though I was underwhelmed by the art on Iron Man: House of M.

The main problem with the title is a problem shared by almost all “alternate reality” titles: it lacks permanency. As readers, we know that the storyline is only a temporary one and we are reluctant to invest in the characters and storylines. Sure, there may be some ramification when it goes back to “normal” , but we all know that soon the status quo will return.

The Elseworlds stories avoid this problem by telling stories that are set in their own world, not one that is a perversion of the normal one. Unfortunately most Elseworlds stories are too short for the reader to really care much for the characters. The Ultimate Universe is another example of an alternate world in and of itself, not simply a change in the regular world. Unlike the Elseworlds, the Ultimate Universe has been around long enough to develop some good character depth. Some of DC’s “Fifth Week” events were also able to create alternate universes with a sense of permanancy. You knew the Tangent Universe existed before we read about it and would continue afterwards. The Amalgam Universe pulled this off particularly well with editor’s notes referring to supposedly previously published Amalgam comics.

The Best Alternate Universe Stories* (in my humble opinion):

1. The Tangent Universe
2. Golden Age
3. The Amalgam Universe
4. Thrillkiller and Thrillkiller ‘62
5. The Ultimate Universe
6. House of M
7. Superman/Wonder Woman: Whom Gods Destroy
8. Age of Apocalypse
9. Superboy’s Legion
10. The Nail (but not so much its sequel, that was just too busy)
11. Superman: Red Son

The Worst?
Anything involving Kulan Gath is bad, but the absolute worst? Without a doubt that would be the year that was Heroes Reborn.

For a weekend challenge, here are two “psychic games” pointed out by the always enlightening Skeptico. Play around with them and see if you can deduce why they work.

First, let the Amazing Garfield tell you which card you picked and then let the Mystic Ball will tell you which number you chose.

Hint #1: Neither site actually involves mind-reading.

Hint #2: Look for “Pretty sneaky, Sis” moves on both sites.

My turn it seems:

1. Ten years ago:
I was a few months into my fourth (and final) year of medical school. I had just returned from several weeks over in the Philippines visiting my sister, who was a Peace Corps volunteer there. I arrived back in St. Louis just in time to take Part 2 of the Medical Boards and start a rotation in Pediatric Endocrinology.

2. Five years ago:
I was a physician in the USAF stationed at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas. At this point, the Polite-Girlfriend (not yet the Polite-Wife) and I had been dating about a year.

3. One year ago:
I was refinishing our back porch. I had power-sprayed it, just trying to wash away some of the grime, but it turned out that I inadvertently washed away the cheap weather-proofing the previous owners had used. A one-day project became a two-week nightmare as I had to sand, re-sand and finish the porch. Looks great though.

4. Yesterday:
A long day at work, then a too-quiet evening at home (the wife and cats are down in the new house).

5. Today:
Another long day at work (mostly school and sports physicals) and another too-quiet evening at home.

6. Tomorrow:
Hospital rounds first thing in the morning, and then I’ll swing by the post office and mail some credentials forms for the new job. If the hospital is not too busy, I’ll head down to the St. Louis area and see how the unpacking is going in our new house.

7. Five snacks I enjoy:
Bottlecaps, Nerds, Iced sugar cookies, tangerines, honey-wheat pretzels

8. Five bands I know the lyrics of most of their songs:
The Who, Pink Floyd, Simon & Garfunkel, Chris Robison, Heather Alexander

9. Five things I would do with $100,000,000:
Pay off the house, send my nieces/nephews to college, go back to school myself, buy a vacation home and hide the rest under the mattress.

10. Five locations I’d like to run away to:
Anywhere in the Appalachians, Belgium, Reykjavik, Las Vegas or Kauai

11. Five Bad Habits:
A horrendous sweet tooth, ignoring people who are talking to me if I’m involved in something, being fanatical about the proper use of the word “unique” and yelling at the TV or radio when it is used incorrectly, the inability to count to 5

12. Five things I like doing:
Watching mindless TV, Reading books and comics, researching bizarre medical questions for this site, sleeping and playing computer and video games poorly.

13. Five TV shows I like:
Kim Possible. Black Adder, the Simpsons, MythBusters and Deep Space Nine.

14. Famous People I’d like to meet, living or dead.
Thomas Jefferson, Andrew Jackson, Teddy Roosevelt, C.S. Forester, Wellington, Steve Ditko, Robert Parker and Bobby Labonte, Alton Brown.

15. Biggest joys at the moment:
Just hoping the move will be over soon and praying that someone will buy our house.

16. Favorite toys:
The computer, my Trek and my iPaq.

The move is going well…so far. The movers delivered all our stuff to the new house today, and the Polite-Wife is already down there. I’m remaining here in Central Illinois (with an air mattress and a box of pop tarts) until I finish my last day in the clinic next week. After that, I pack the last few items from this all-but-empty house, hop in the car and drive down the two and a half hours to our new house. And then start in the new office that Monday.

The Polite-Wife is very excited because she got offered a third-grade teaching postition yesterday. Of course it starts tomorrow, so she’s frantically trying to unpack boxes while mumbling about posters, name tags and lesson plans. I’m ecstatic that she got the job. The complete lack of a job opportunities was probably her biggest problem with Central Illinois — with full teaching certificates and a Master’s she was still only able to land the occasional substitute teaching job. Having her own classroom (and third grade, her favorite) will lift her spirits immensely.

Between all her teaching book sets and my comic books, I suspect at least half the moving van was reading material of one sort or another…

During my senior year of high school, our family purchased a computer. It was a Zenith computer (yes they made computers back then) that had a monochrome monitor (amber/black), a 5 1/4″ floppy disk drive and a 30 MB hard drive. No mouse, as the Macintosh was fated to be introduced later that year. If you wanted to select text, you higlighted it by using the F8 key. Sure, it was cumbersome compared to today’s computers, but it was still better than a typewriter. We also had an Epson dot matrix printer that could churn out an amazing 2 oe 3 pages per minute.

Still, this was not my first computer. Let’s go back a few years to my freshman year in high school. Upon returning from a marching band trip over Christmas break, I took the money I had left over and puchased an Atari 800XL. This computer was a thing of beauty. It had 64KB of memory and built in BASIC. True to its Atari lineage, it had a video-game cartidge slot on the top and two joystick ports*. It didn’t have a monitor but instead had an RF switch to attach to the back of the TV. No floppy drive or hard drive, though you could purchase a floppy drive separately. I couldn’t afford those, so I picked up a tape drive that utilized regular casette tapes. You’d put the tape in the drive, fast forward it to the point where you thought the program you wanted was and then type “CLOAD” and it would (hopefully) load. This was a simple computer, but that’s why I loved it. I knew exactly how everything worked and what every variable and command did. Now I’m lucky if I know 1%.

*It had very few good games — it wouldn’t play Atari 2600 games, only the 5200. I think I had Donkey Kong, Pitfall II and Space Ranger.

As much as I enjoy some of the more recent computer games, I get the feeling that way too often they feature nice-looking (yet CPU-churning) graphics instead of a decent plot. I find myself reminiscing for the days when computer games had at most 4 or 16 colors, or none in the case of Infocom’s text only games.

No sound cards, no graphics cards, no modems, 5 1/4″ floppy drives (and even tape drives) and hard drives of about 30 megabytes.

These were by far my favorite games of that era:

• Legacy of the Ancients
• Zork I, Zork II and Leather Goddesses of Phobos
• Manhunter: New York and Manhunter: San Francisco
• Covert Action
• SSI’s “Gold Box” AD&D games

For the third time in as many days, I was doing some internet research on various comic, blog and medical related topics, and I kept getting referred to my own site as the best (if not only) information available.

OK, I’ll admit in some ways that’s flattering, but it doesn’t help with the research at all.

We spent the first night in Las Vegas (Henderson, Nevada, really) at the in-laws. Early the next morning, we headed for the airport, met up with the two other couple vacationing with us, and flew to Honolulu. We checked into the hotel, then hopped a bus down to Waikiki and enjoyed an afternoon of beach and sushi (and shopping, for the Polite-Wife). The next morning we traveled to Pearl Harbor to see the USS Arizona Memorial. Due to time constraints, we were unable to tour the USS Missouri, but did get to climb through the USS Bowfin (a WWII submarine).

Back to the airport and on a hop to Kauai. We stayed in a very nice rental house in Poipu for the next week. The house was about two blocks from the beach and had a big yard with a pool and hot tub (and geckos). To be honest, most of our time in Kauai we were pretty lazy — lots of sun, sand and reading. The other couples spent an afternoon zip-lining down one of the island’s canyons. Since neither of us is particularly fond of heights, the Polite-Wife and I sat that afternoon out. The kayaking was fun — I’ve always liked canoeing and kayaking — and I wish we could have gone on a longer excursion. My favorite was our last afternoon where we inner-tubed down the irrigation canals of an old sugarcane plantation – including about a mile of tunnels hand-carved into the volcanic rock over a century ago. We had to wear hard-hats with lights, and the water was ice cold, but it was like a good amusement park water ride — only real and a lot more fun.

We returned to Las Vegas, spent another day and a half with the in-laws, and then returned to central Illinois last night.

Vacation’s over. Back to work tomorrow.

sigh…

A close-up picture of my desk when I was deployed to the Mid-East. The computer is my faithful HP laptop, which was purchased with long deployments in mind. Thus, it had plenty of mp3s, games, books…oh, and medical texts, too.

The toy ambulance was a gift from the Polite-Wife (then the Polite-Girlfriend) because it reminded her of my problems with driving ambulances. The Hulk I picked up in a Happy Meal and he traveled to all my deployments, so he’s quite the well-traveled action figure. The plane is an F-22 Raptor, again bought by the Polite-Wife. Whenever we played NTN trivia, my name was always “Raptor” (not because of the plane, but because it was a 6-letter name that sounded cool. My second choice was “wombat”). The paper disks are coins. Unlike other establishments on base, the local BX (PX for you army types) only took American money. Since they didn’t want to lug heavy bags of change halfway around the world, they had these disks printed up in 5-, 10- and 25-cent denominations. Coins in cardboard. I think I still have about $30 worth stashed around here somewhere.

Vacation
All I ever wanted
Vacation
Had to get away

After a brief stop-over to visit family and friends in Las Vegas, the Polite-Wife and I are joining some friends for a week of relaxation in our 50th state. Peace, quiet, sunburn…it should be nice.

Allegedly, there will be some internet access once we get to the condo in Kauai, so I still should be able to access my e-mail (that’s if if anyone feels the need to contact me — though I will probably be a little slower than usual in responding).

There will be new posts on Polite Dissent daily (I was able to get ahead while watching the Tour de France): a little manga, a classic request and then a look back at the medical comics of the ‘50s and ‘60s.

Enjoy!

A quick dip into Marvel’s Silver Age brings us the next doctor on the list of Top Comic Book Doctors Who Actually Practice Medicine.

#4 – Dr. Donald Blake

Donald Blake was the original alter ego of the Mighty Thor. On vacation in Scandinavia, Blake stumbled across an alien invasion (a common occurrence in the 1960s Marvel Universe). Hiding in a cave, he stumbled across an ancient walking stick. When he became trapped in the cave, he struck the stick against the rock and was transformed into Thor. The rest is history (well, comic book history at least).

A surgeon, Blake was shown practicing medicine on many occasions in both Journey Into Mystery and Thor. Sometimes Blake and Thor would work together to solve problems, as shown by Mike in his annual Easter Thor post. Thor himself was not above practicing a little medicine from time to time.

Through the intricacies of comic book storytelling, Don Blake no longer exists, and may not ever have existed, sort of…

Blake’s former nurse (and Tor’s former love interest), Jane Foster, has become a doctor in her own right and routinely treats super-heroes. The Don Blake legacy continues.

Lance Armstrong won the individual time trial, all but guaranteeing his win tomorrow in the final stage of the Tour de France. Jan Ullrich ran an excellent time trial as well, not only moving past Michael Rasmussen into third, but cutting the lead of second place Ivan Basso in half. Michael Rasmussen, who started in third, had a horrible day including two small crashes (I suspect his nerves got the better of him) and ended up in 7th place overall.

Tomorrow is the final day, the ride into Paris. Traditionally, there is no racing (except among the sprinters who are still fighting for the green jersey), so positions and times should not change much, if at all.
Read more…

A mostly flat unexceptional stage that showed no significant changes in time or position. Everyone is saving up for tomorrows time trial, the last chance for someone to possibly (though unlikely) beat Lance Armstrong. The competition for third through tenth should be tight.
Read more…

A mostly flat stage with a few good hills. Jan Ullrich gained about 30 seconds on third place Michael Rasmussen (setting up a time trial show down for third place) and Alexander Vinokurov lost the position he gained yesterday, and almost everybody lost a little more time to Lance Armstrong.

Tomorrow is another flat stage with a few hills. Honestly, I don’t expect much excitement until Saturday’s time trial.
Read more…

Paolo Savoldeli, Discovery Channel Team rider and teammate of Lance Armstrong won today’s stage of the Tour. Other than that, there was minimal shifting in the standings as riders prepare for tomorrow’s slightly mountainous ride and Saturday’s final Time Trial.
Read more…

The last of the true mountain stages, there was little change in the standings today. Lance Armstrong retains a 2:49 lead over his nearest rival, Ivan Basso.

Tomorrow’s stage is the longest stage, and while flatter than the past few days, still has some good peaks. While the battle for the yellow jersey is for all intents and purposes over, keep an eye on the battle over the green jersey (the sprinter’s jersey) and the polka-dot jersey (the king of the mountains) because there’s still life in those fights (particularly among the sprinters. The green jersey probably won’t be decided until the last day on the ride into Paris).

Other than the sprinters’ battles, the Tour will be fairly quiet untilSaturday, the second-to-last day (Stage 20). It’s the final individual time trial and will be the last chance Basso has at defeating Armstrong (unlikely), but keep an eye on 4th place Jan Ullrich who is a powerful time trial-er and wants third place very badly.
Read more…

Once again, Lance Armstrong battled JanUllrich and Ivan Basso up the mountains. As in Stage 14, Ullrich gave out before the finish and Armstrong and Basso finished together. Armstrong managed to put more time on every one of his rivals except Basso, who took second place. The battle now is really for the third “podium spot,” with Armstong and Basso having all but locked up the first two places.

Today’s stage belonged to American George Hincapie. He was one of the riders who broke away early, and he managed to hold out and make it to the finish line first, winning the day’s stage — his first Tour stage win ever. Hincapie is Armstrong’s most trusted lieutenant and it’s great to see him have his day.

Monday is a rest day followed by the final mountain stage of this year’s Tour de France.
Read more…

A very exciting stage of the Tour today. The T-Mobile team, lead by some of Lance Armstrong’s biggest Rivals (Jan Ulrich, Andreas Kloden and Alexander Vinokourov) made a surprise early surge, catching the Discovery Channel Team off guard. Lance was able to keep up, as were some other big names including Floyd Landis and Ivan Basso. This group battled up the first mountain, down its other side, and up the tallest peak of the day. Armstrong, Ulrich and Basso were the strongest and by the end they were the only ones left from the breakaway. Less than half a mile from the finish, Ulrich slowed, leaving Basso and Armstrong to fight it out. Armstrong surged ahead and beat Basso to the line.

OK, technically Armstrong took second because the lone rider remaining from the very first breakaway (Georg Totschnig), was ahead by a little under a minute — but it was an impressive day as Armstrong showed that even without his team behind him he was able to outlast his rivals.

Tomorrow is said to be the hardest day of the Tour. I can only assume that the rest of the Discovery Channel Team will feel like they have something to prove.
Read more…

A flat sprinter’s stage today. Minimal change in the overall standings with Lance Armstrong retaining the overall points lead and yellow jersey. Tomorrow will be an exiciting stage as the Tour returns to the mountains.

If Lance Armstrong is going to lose the Tour, it will be in the next two days. Armstrong’s Discovery Channel Team lost one of its best climbers when Manual Beltran dropped out, and Alexandre Vinokourov (one of Armstrong’s strongest rivals) has publicly stated he plans on going on an early offensive in the mountains.
Read more…

As I predicted, there were no changes in the leaderboard in today’s rather pedestrian stage at the Tour. Given that it was Bastille Day, it is fitting that a Frenchman, David Moncoutie, won today’s stage. Look for much of the same on tomorrow’s flat road course. The Tour returns to the mountains on Saturday.

Notes of Interest:

• Green Jersey (Sprinter’s Jersey) leader Tom Boonen dropped out of the Tour after injuring his knee in a crash the day before. Norwegian Thor Hushovd now holds the Green Jersey.
• Discovery Team Channel member Manual Beltran was forced to drop out of the Tour today. He was in a crash where he may have lost consciousness; he definitely suffered some amnesia afterwards. These are signs of a concussion, and the race doctor made the right choice by forcing him to withdraw. Concussions and sports can be a bad mix.

Read more…

So our connection to the internet at work went out for most of the afternoon, and all I could think was “Damn that Joe Quesada, this is all his fault!”

Alexandre Vinokourov won the second Alp stage of the Tour today; this allowed him to recoup about a minute and a half of the time he lost on yesterday’s stage. Of course, that still leaves him a whopping four and a half minutes behind Lance Armstrong, who retains the overall lead. Other than that, there were few surprises today, with most riders behaving fairly conservatively.

Tomorrow is a hilly stage followed by a flat stage on Friday. On Saturday, the Tour returns to the mountains — this time to the Pyrenees. Don’t expect much excitment or drama until then.
Read more…

Lance Armstrong took back the yellow jersey in a decisive first day in the Alps. Most of his serious challengers are now five minutes, or more, back. The Discovery Channel Team showed it strength today when the peloton started up the second mountain climb. They drove faster and faster up the mountain and other riders were soon dropping back left and right. This slowly wore out most of the Discovery riders, but frankly that’s what they’re there for: to provide support for Lance (who won second in the stage and took back the overall lead).

Tomorrow is the second Alp stage, and it will be interesting to see how many riders wore themselves out on the first one.
Read more…

Some of the more interesting searches that led to Polite Dissent in June, divided into easy-to-understand categories:

You should be studying this rather than looking it up on Google:

• What are the different medicine in the Philippines give the kinds and their uses
• Location and organs served by aorta artery

You People Are Sick!

• Real graphic pictures and images of patients bleeding out because of the Ebola virus
• Batgirl Catwoman tentacle
• Comics about sexual diseases

Good Questions

• What does the medical term foosh mean? My nurse accuses me of making up the word whenever I use it, but FOOSH is a legitimate medical acronym. It stands for Fall On Out-Stretched Hand.
• How does Robin fit all his gadgets in his belt from Teen Titans? Um, unstable molecules?
• Polite weight comments. I don’t think there really are any.
• On Teen Titans are Terra and Slade related? No, and in the original comic book it could be inferred that they were sleeping together, and not in the platonic way (personally, I don’t read it that way – I think Terra just liked to play dress up and Slade pretty much ignored her, but I can see how people could get the idea there was something going on).

Not So Good Questions

• Alternative medicine to cure infection in amputated finger. I’m assuming you want to treat an infection in the finger stump, and not the amputated finger itself, because it’s pretty much beyond help by now. Anyway, I’d recommend you see a real doctor for real medicine. Don’t mess around with alternative medicines for infections; they simply don’t work as well as the real thing (if they work at all).
• Value of Spiro Agnew wrist watch? Before or after taxes (chuckle).
• Is their going to be more movies of the original Batman from the 1960s? No. And you do know that’s not the original Batman, right?

TV

• Boy Meets World episode skiing or broken or leg. I remember that one: Cory sprains his leg while skiing, and stays back at the lodge hitting on the hired help instead of spending time on the slopes with his girlfriend Topanga. It was the first of a two-parter and I’m ashamed I actually knew all that off the top of my head.
• Daria DVD box sets Sadly no. I would pay good money for this.

??

• a rh negative and extraterrestial blood
• polite toilet signs

The second day of mountains (and the first real mountain stage) has definitely changed the tour. One time leader Dave Zabriskie has dropped out and Lance Armstrong has given up the leader’s yellow jersey. This is really not a surprise; Zabriskie was injured more than he let on in his crash during the Team Time Trial and the Discovery Channel Team has been trying to give up the yellow jersey for the past several days. It takes a great deal of effort to hold on to the yellow jersey, and Armstrong would rather regain it in the coming Alp stages than spend the entire week wearing himself out defending it. I’m confident he’ll have regained it by the last day in Paris, the only stage that really counts. I am surprised by how poorly Noval and Padrnos did today, both losing 65 places overall.

Tomorrow is a rest day followed by a week of Alpine days.
Read more…

The first mountain stage of the Tour, and not very mountainous at that. Still, it shook things up quite a bit in the standings. Lance continues to hold a minute lead on his nearest rivals, but the rest of his Discovery Channel Team did not do as well — a fact that he made sure to mention in his interview after the race.

I don’t think they did that poorly — they finished in the next two groups — and today’s positions probably more accurately reflect their actual ability, instead of a position artificially raised by a good Team Time Trial. Lance has a point though: strategy is an important part of the mountain stages, and he needs his team at his side to help him win.

Tomorrow holds more mountains, then a rest day, then the real event: the Alps.
Read more…

Yes, I know all super-heroes are fictional, bear with me here.

What are the favorite super-heroes of fictional characters? Not super-heroes that you and I read, but ones that were specifically created for the stories in question.

Here’s the ones that I can think of off the top of my head, but there have to be more:

The Fearless Ferret from Kim Possible
Radioactive Man fromThe Simpsons

Another wet long day dominated by the sprinters. Lance keeps the yellow jersey and poor Dave Zabriskie keeps falling farther and farther behind. The rest of the positions and times among Americans and Discovery Channel Team members are virtually unchanged.

Read more…

A long rainy day with another spectacular crash at the end that wiped out several sprinters and France’s favorite son. Alexandre Vinokourov finished well, gaining a time bonus which pushed him up to 3rd overall. Meanwhile, Americal Dave Zabriske — who at one point wore the yellow jersey — fell far behind. His crash two days ago must have hurt him more than he let on. Lane Armstrong continues to hold the lead.

Tomorrow: Long and mostly flat, but a few hills. Rain is likely.
Read more…

Another mostly flat stage that ended in an all out sprint, with several wicked turns thrown in the last few kilometers to shake the riders up. Australian Robbie McEwan won the stage, though he remains out of contention for the Sprinter’s green jersey (he lost a great deal of points when the judges dropped him to last place after stage 3 for making contact with another racer during the final sprint). Lance Armstrong retains the leader’s yellow jersey, and since the entire peloton is scored with the same finish time, there were no time losses this stage. There were a few shuffles in overall standing due to the sprinter’s time bonuses for winning sprints (and some minor attrition).

Tomorrow there are a few more hills, but for the most part it’s another long flat stage.
Read more…

The Discovery Channel Team won the Team Time Trial today, letting Lance Armstrong take the overall points lead and the yellow jersey. Their main rivals, Team CSC, finished just 2 seconds behind, but Dave Zabriskie — who had the points lead going into the day — crashed and finished over a minute behind the rest of his team.

Now that Armstrong has the yellow jersey, the question is whether or not the Discovery Channel Team will fight to keep it this early on, or let another team take it for a few stages, then attempt to reclaim it in the mountains. I suspect the latter, because it takes a lot of energy to fight to keep the jersey this early on.

Tomorrow’s Stage 5 is another mostly flat stage favoring the sprinters.
Read more…

Today’s third stage was a long mostly flat day, like Stage 2. There were a few climbs, and that allowed Erik Dekker of the Netherlands to claim the King of the Mountains jersey (though we’re still over a week from any real mountains).

Belgium’s Tom Boonen won today’s stage (he won yesterday’s as well) and holds on to the Sprinter’s green jersey.

The Overall Point Leader’s yellow jersey continues to be worn by American Dave Zabriskie.

Most of the teams took it fairly easy, resting up for tomorrow’s Team Time Trial (you’ll notice that the highest finishing member of the Discovery Channel Team was 82nd, nearly halfway back).

As mentioned, tomorrow’s Stage 4 is the Team Time Trial, where Lance Armstrong’s Discovery Channel Team is expected to win — though other teams have been beefing up their time trial skills. Expect a change in point standings after the time trial, though there wasn’t much of one today – just a few changes due mostly to attrition or the time bonuses given to sprint winners and stage winners.
Read more…

Come the end of August, the Polite Wife and I will be moving down to the St. Louis area. Though I like the small town where we are, the Polite Wife grew up in a bigger town (Las Vegas, to be exact) and misses some of the opportunities (and most of the shopping) available in larger cities. We’re actually moving to my hometown, so we already have a bunch of friends (and source of cheap labor) there.

We have already bought a nice house there, though I’d feel a whole lot better if we could sell this one (and soon). Because we’re in the process of selling this house, we’re finally getting around to doing all the household repairs we’ve been meaning to do for the two years we’ve lived here (fix the plaster, re-prime and paint the porch, etc. etc.)

I have a nice new job lined up — Family Practice, of course. It’s in a larger office, and it’s outpatient only – no hospital patients. While I enjoy seeing patients in the hospital, it takes up a tremendous amount of family time and all my less-than-pleasant experiences over the past few years have all involved hospital patients — so I really won’t be sorry to see it go. The job opportunities should be much better for the Polite Wife (she’s already seen more elementary teaching openings in one month down there than in two-plus years here).

Polite Dissent will continue unabated — even during our already scheduled Hawaiian vacation. That week I’ll be posting Flashback Week II and a look at the Death of Superman.

Since we’re moving, I’m putting up a lot of items on eBay over the next day or so. There will be some comics, anime, manga and a great deal of RPG goodies, including some hard to find D&D complete boxed sets. (My eBay items)

A straightforward day of racing in France with not too many surprises. At 26km into the 181.5km stage, four riders staged a breakaway from the main peloton that lasted until the last 6km. As one of the breakaway riders, Thomas Voeckler won a masterful race up the only major climb in the stage to be the first to wear the red polka-dot King of the Mountain jersey. In terms of the Green Jersey (the sprinters jersey), Tom Boonen of Belgium won the final sprint of the day to the finish line and he gets to wear the green jersey tomorrow.
Dave Zabriskie keeps the overall lead and the yellow jersey.

There was only minimal changes in the standings since almost every rider finished in the main peloton, which all receive the same time. Some of the position changes are due to the wear and tear of the Tour, but most are because of the sprints (which award a time bonus for succesfully winning a sprint). That’s why George Hincapie “fell” to fifth without losing any time; Hungarian Laszlo Bodrogi won enough sprints to gain a twelve-second time bonus and jumped up to third.

Tomorrow’s Stage 3 is another flat road course, 212.5 km (132 miles) this time. There will be sprints and probably a breakway or two, but most riders will be saving their strength for the following day: the Team Time Trial.
Read more…

The Tour started off well for the Americans in general and Dave Zabriskie and Lance Armstrong in particular.

Today’s first stage was a 19 km (12 mile) individual time trial. In individual time trials, riders start one minute apart and race for the best time. Dave Zabriskie won the stage with a time of 20:51 and Lance Armstrong finished second, just 2 seconds behind. Lance looked strong and had a great race. He managed to catch — and pass — his main rival Jan Ullrich at the 15 Km point (this is key in time trial stages because it means Armstrong was able to make up the minute time difference). That puts Ullrich 1:06 behind Armstrong, but will be an even bigger blow to the ego, particularly this early in the event.

Overall, Americans (racing for 3 different teams) took 4 of the top 6 places.

Tomorrow is a 181.5 Km (112.5 mile) mostly flat stage.

Whatever happened to Tyler Hamilton? He was another big name in American racing. He had a bad Tour last year, and ended up dropping out. A few months ago, he was accused of blood doping (a charge he denies). I didn’t see his name as one of this year’s participant in the Tour, so I wonder what happened.
Read more…

Ian points out a comic blog panel at Comic Con. I’d love to be there, but this year I’m looking for smaller conventions to attend.

It seems odd that blogs are referred to as “the fanzines of this century” yet the panel is composed of professional writers and journalists. Where’s the true fanzine blog representative? While I like the professional and semi-professionals who blog, one of the best aspects of blogs is that they allow the common fan’s perspective — yet this doesn’t seem to be represented.

I’m not saying it won’t be a worthwhile panel — it certainly has some top notch people — but it just doesn’t seem representative of the whole of comic blogging.

No big plans this weekend, just taking it easy. We’re going to be moving in about 2 months so we’re starting to gear up for that — yet at the same time keep this house “real estate clean” so any potential buyers will immediately be convinced to buy it:
“Look George, not only is it a two story house with solid oak doors, but they’ve dusted! I must have it!”
(If only it were that easy)

I can tell I’ve been cutting back on my comic purchases because I’ve already finished this month’s box (since I live far from a local comic shop, I find a monthly mail order shipment the best option). Luckily, the area we’re moving has much a much better selection of comic shops, though I suspect I’ll keep using the mail order for the harder to find “back of Previews” stuff.

I’ve been greatly enjoying the latest Mixed Bag CDs. The best part is the titles. It’s clear to me that bloggers should do the marketing for albums, not ad execs.

And I’ve got some good ideas for prescription drug marketing too.

The Eleventh Edition of the Skeptics’ Circle has been posted at Anne’s Anti-Quackery and Science Blog. This is an entertaining and informative collection of the best blog posts that deal with such topics as medical quackery, intelligent design, urban legends, history, astrology from a skeptical point of view. Check it out!

I spent my junior and senior years in college working in a research lab. At my school, a high GPA would earn you a degree “with honors,” but if you wanted Latin honors you had to have both a high GPA and a research project.

I looked at a number of labs and ended up settling on a lab that evaluated plant growth hormones. My project looked at a particular stress protein in barley. My job was to evaluate what stresses would lead to expression of this gene, and what part of the seedling expressed the gene. It involved a great deal of RNA extraction and Northern blotting, but was actually a great deal of fun (although very tedious at times).

As part of our research, we worked with some low-grade radioactive elements. We each had to get federal certification to use them and followed very strict safety protocols. Those of us who worked with DNA and RNA used P₃₂ (a radioactive form of phosphorus) to radio-label our experiments. Other researches used S₃₅ (radioactive sulfur) to similarly radio-label proteins. While radioactive, neither of these elements was particularly strong. We used a Geiger counter to look for spills because both of these elements would set it off, but just barely.

There was a graduate student named Mike who worked in the same lab. To put it mildly, Mike was a little reckless. Since we worked in a lab specializing in barley, he decided to brew his own beer. The initial stages of the process went well, but when he bottled the beer (in glass bottles, of course), he decided he wanted strong carbonation so added a little extra yeast. Not a good idea. One night, the bottles all exploded and we came in to a lab dripping with beer and glass shards.

A few months later, he went on vacation out west. One day, he toured an abandoned mine. I don’t think it was any kind of organized tour; I’m pretty sure he just let himself in and started poking around. He wasn’t sure what kind of mine it was, but he found a couple of neat looking yellow-speckled rocks and brought them in to show us. He then put them in his pocket and forgot about them. Shortly after he left, I turned on the Geiger counter to make sure I hadn’t spilled any P₃₂ and it started screaming. It was clicking as loud and fast as it could go, particularly when I pointed it where Mike had placed his rocks. That’s right; he had brought home a nice souvenir of uranium. We had to shut the lab down for a week to clean it all up. Mike? He forgot about the rocks he put in his pocket when he washed his clothes, and managed to contaminate his entire apartment’s laundry. I’m not quite sure how that ended up except that the last I heard, he was a researcher for Monsanto.

I left the research lab after college, and haven’t really looked back. I enjoyed the work, but I was frustrated by the pressure to get results: “Take your time (wink, wink) but get results!” I also didn’t want to beg and scrape for grant money for the rest of my life. Medical school seemed like a much better option.

Most days, I still think it was the right decision.

Saw the trailer for The Island while at the theater today . First thought: Ewan McGregor in Logan’s Run? Second thought: Poor Sean Bean, can’t he ever play a good guy? (Yeah, I know he playedBoromir, a good guy — though a seriously flawed one who didn’t survive the first film — so it doesn’t count.)

Tonight Mythbusters looked at airplane crash positions and driving while intoxicated vs. driving while using a cell phone. The results were pretty much what I expected. What happened to Scottie? The new guy seemed competent, but what happened to out multi-tattooed welder? The drinking/driving scenes reminded me of that episode of WKRP where Johnny Fever gets better reflexes the more he drinks (that was one of the funniest episodes of the show. Not only did it have the intoxication scene, but it had the fight between the WPIG pig and the WKRP carp.)

Sorry for the lack of a proper post today. It’s a little hectic here in the Polite Household. The Wife is off to the Left Coast for her annual visit to her folks while I remain behind and hold down the fort. Other news on the homefront/jobfront too, but that’ll have to wait for tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow: answers to yesterday’s trivia question and I’ll resume my Hawk & Dove review, picking up with the Kesel and Kesel (and Liefeld mini-series).

Just so you don’t go away completely empty handed, here’s a nice comic book ad from 1968, back when there was still an AFL…

Click for a larger view

I walked into the break room at work today and there it was: a 2-liter bottle of Vernor’s Ginger Ale. It was my dad’s favorite soda, so I grew up on it. Sadly, I hadn’t been able to find Vernor’s since I moved away from Indiana six years ago. Now here it was, staring me in the eye.

Vernors is no ordinary ginger ale — due to a happy accident of history, it’s aged in oak barrels so it has a definite smokey kick to it.

While not as rare as it used to be, it’s still hard to find in all too many areas of the country.

Sure, it’s an acquired taste, but for my money, it’s the best ginger ale there is.

The Polite-Wife and I are back from a brief — yet very nice — pre-weekend getaway. Thursday night we were in Chicago to see the musical Wicked at the Oriental Theater.

It was an excellent show; the best musical I’ve seen in quite a while (much better than The Producers). The sets and costumes were well done and the singers, particularly Elphaba and Fiyero, were perfect. I liked the way the musical alluded to both The Wizard of Oz movie and book (for instance, the guards costumes were right out of the movie, but the slippers were the book’s silver — not the movie’s ruby).

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Wicked, it’s based on a book of the same name by Gregory Maguire. This book takes a look at the events leading up to and including The Wizard of Oz from the Wicked Witch’s point of view. That’s a gross oversimplification of the story, but it gives you the general idea of the theme.

Like most of the best musicals, it’s not always a happy story, but it’s one that’s well worth watching. We’ll definitely see it again, and this time try to sit a little closer to the stage than our balconey seats last night. If you like musical theater at all, I highly recommend Wicked.

Everybody reading this, I want you to head over and donate just a few dollars to Laura’s 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. If everyone who reads this blog can find just a buck or two to give, she’ll soon surpass her goal. If you donate $15, you’re eligible for some nice prizes Laura is offering.

Here’s a handy donation guide:

• If you’ve picked up a Liefeld, Pulido or Balent comic in the last year and considered buying it: $10
• If you actually bought the comic: $20
• For each issue of World Watch you bought: $15
• If you think Aquaman’s blue suit was cooler than his orange one: $10
• If you put together the final issue of Promethea: $15
• For each “Heroes Reborn” Marvel Comic you own: $2
• If you can name each Blackhawk and their country of origin: $20
• If you support Rann: $20
• If you support Thanagar: $15
• If you’re weasling out by staying neutral: $30

It’s a holiday so I’m taking the day off. Yesterday I realized that I never finished Dungeon Siege, so I think I’ll play that today (and mow the lawn too, sigh).

Today is Memorial Day, and despite what the television networks would have you think, it’s not a holiday set aside for the sole purpose of watching old war movies. Today’s the day when we remember those who went before us, particularly those who gave their lives for our country. Dave Campbell has my favorite Memorial Day post this year (and Laura does a good job rounding up other Memorial Day posts).

Tomorrow I’ll return to the dog-eat-dog world of comic book medical reviews with a long look at Batman: Jekyll & Hyde.

The Sunday before Memorial Day is one of my favorite days of the year.

Why?

Eleven-hundred miles of car racing excitement, that’s why!

It started off as a nice mild day. I was able to spend a couple of hours fixing up my herb garden and butterfly garden, both of which are coming along very nicely. I also started up the grill and slow smoked two racks of short ribs that I had slathered with a curing rub the night before. By noon, they were ready and perfect. A light smoky flavor added to the hint of spices from the cure, combined with fall-off-the-bone tenderness. I only cook ribs once a year and savor every bite.

The Indianapolis 500 was a good race. Most of the excitement was on Danica Patrick, a female racer. There have been other female Indy racers before, but never one as highly touted as Patrick. She did well and even led a few laps, but a couple of rookie mistakes cost her and she ended up fourth (but a very respectable fourth). England’s Dan Wheldon ultimately won the race. This gave Michael Andretti his first ever Indy 500 win (though as an owner, not a racer).

An hour or so later the Coca-Cola 600 started in Charlotte. This is the longest race of the NASCAR season and generally one of the most exciting. This year was no exception. Tonight’s race set the record for most cautions in a NASCAR race — ever. There was a time with about 150 laps to go where the Polite Wife and I would bet how long it would be before the next caution. She kept guessing 15 or 20 laps while I went with 8. It never made it past five laps before another caution came out. After three rounds of this, we gave up trying to guess. All the cautions did put Bobby Labonte in good position and with 9 laps left he was leading the race. Unfortunately he was passed in the very last turn by Jimmy Johnson and lost by two hundreths of a second. Still, it was Labonte’s best showing of the year.

And the best part is I still have tomorrow off!

The Producers was very funny and had several great songs but it definitely suffered from Huckleberry Finn Syndrome*. After the hilarious “Springtime for Hitler” scene the show just limps along until the final curtain. Lots of Mel Brooks humor, much of it way too blatant, which works best in small doses. Still, it was an enjoyable musical and it’s always a treat to see a show in the Fox Theater.

The man sitting in the row behind me apparently considers “Oy” the funniest word ever.

Character on stage: Oy
Man behind me: Oy. Oy! OY!! [uproarious guffaws laughter]. Oy! Oy.

It was very nice to have a relaxing weekend since I know the coming week is going to be a guaranteed headache (it’s JACHO time). Only five days until a three day weekend! With lots of good racing (the Indy 500 and the Coca-Cola 600)! And barbecue!

Just…five…more…days

Postin will be light today. The Polite Wife and I are jaunting down to St. Louis to meet some friends and see a production of The Producers. More tomorrow.

On the far edge of town is a park known as the Dog Park. I drive by it frequently, and I always wonder about it. What secrets does it hold? Not owning a dog (only two strong-willed cat), I’ve never had the chance to discover the secrets — until now.

There’s a small parking lot that sometimes contains one or two cars or trucks, but it never seems to be the same ones. There is a large well-kept grass field next to the parking lot. This field extends for about two hundred yards until the tree line, where the forest begins. In the far corner of the park, where the field meets the tree line, is an open gate leading back into the dark forest.

What is back behind the gate? How come we never see any people, let alone dogs at the Dog Park? Why are there never any repeat visitors, or why are the repeat visitors so rich that they can afford a new car every time they visit the park? These are just some of the mysteries of the Dog Park.

My own suspicion is that there is some kind of vast conspiracy involving the park. Possibly a cult or aliens, though my main suspicion lies towards some sort of dark Lovecraftian horror. I suspect that people (and possibly dogs too) enter the forest through the gate, never to return. Somebody then tows their cars and sells them, probably to Canada.

Any day now, the Polite Wife and I will find out the truth behind this park. The Polite-Sister has a research project this summer and will not be able to take her dog along. Thus my wife and I find ourselves the temporary owners of mostly-Springer Spaniel named Suman (and the cats are definitely not happy). Soon, we will put on our hiking boots, clip a leash on Suman’s collar, hop into the Explorer and head for Dog Park. Its secrets will soon be mine (unless they’re really nasty, then the park can keep them).

We get too many magazines here at the Polite Household. Sure, my wife gets a couple (usually as a grandmotherly Christmas present), but by and large the majority of them are mine. If you think trying to cut back on the number of comics you buy is tough, try cutting back on the number of magazines you get – it’s even harder.

There’s Newsweek and National Geographic, because every household in America is constitutionally obligated to subscribe to both a weekly news magazine and National Geographic. No really, it’s true. I know I read it in the Constitution somewhere.

Then there are the computer and videogame magazines. PC Magazine is honestly useful, though I could do without the in-depth reporting on $3000 business software I’ll never buy. Maximum PC is inexpensive and one of the best resources for updating and upgrading computers.

I’ve cut back to two computer gaming magazines now. For all intents and purposes, they’re entirely identical on the inside. Same reviews, previews and “exclusives.” One provides a more thorough coverage of obscure wargames, and that’s the one I’ll keep – as soon as I remember which one it is (but I’ve been saying that for two or three years now). Does anyone every use those CDs that are bundled with the magazines? They load slowly and rarely contain anything that can’t be found quicker on the web. I wish they would let me renew without the CD (or “beverage coaster” as I like to call them). And to whoever decided it would be a good idea to attach the CD to the middle of my magazine instead of simply including it loosely: you should be shot.

PSM is my choice of videogame magazines. It’s cheap ($12 for 12 issues) and informative, even if it does degenerate to frat boy humor on occasion (but still less often than Wizard).

In terms of comics, I currently receive four magazines. The Comics Journal, Alter Ego and Back Issue are read cover to cover and worth every dime. I also get the Comics Buyers Guide, but the jury’s still out on that one. Let’s just say that I preferred it as a weekly newspaper instead of the monthly magazine it’s become.

I get several woodworking magazines as well. I love woodcraft and would love to spend more time in my workshop. That is, if I actually had a workshop. For some reason, our garage actually contains cars and that limits that amount of industrial-size power tools I can have. I try to throw away the magazines, but then I start thinking: “Wait, that’s the Router Isue! I must keep it!” Or “This issue has that special report on wood staining with linseed oil. You know the minute I throw it away, I’ll have a project that requires a linseed stain!” I think I’ll need to build a bookshelf just to hold my woodworking magazines.

Ironically, we probably receive 2 or 3 trees worth of nature magazines annually. We subscribe to National Geographic, National Geographic Adventure and Illinois Outdoors. The rest seem to arrive whether we want to read them or not. Admittedly, we in the Polite Household tend towards the “green”, so we support a number of nature charities. They are all happy to send a magazine or two (or four) our way. Why is it that environmental charities seem to send the most mail? Isn’t this counter-productive?

I haven’t even touched on the medical journals yet, but that’s a topic for another day (did you know that just by putting an M.D. behind your name you’re guaranteed an additional 4 or 5 magazines a week? And they won’t stop no matter what you do?).

When I was a fourth year medical student looking at Family Practice residencies, I was drawn to a particular residency that was offering a hefty signing bonus. The residency program looked decent, but it was the signing bonus that I found particularly entrancing.

But then I started to wonder why a residency would offer such a large signing bonus. Other residencies offered bonuses (generally used to offset the cost of moving and housing), but this was at least an order of magnitude better. Could it be that they were trying to cover up some deficiencies in their program by diverting the attention with the cash? Or maybe the bonus was the only way they could recruit residents? Did I really want my fellow residents to be the sort of people who are motivately mostly by money?

Eventually I decided that the risk wasn’t worth it, so I took that residency off of my list. It turned out to be a wise decision. I later met a handful of students who had rotated there and several doctors who had spent time there. None of them had anything good to say; serious problems with the program existed at almost every level. I was right to trust my instincts.

A similar situation happened in the office today. A prospective patient offered us a cash bonus to take him on as a patient. This simply can’t be a good sign. What sort of patient needs to bribe a doctor to be his physician?

I think I’ll pass.

Addams Family Values is another of those great “Guilty Pleasure” movies. Whenever I run across it while channel surfing, I have to stay and watch the rest of it. Everyone who stars in it was perfect in their roles, especially Anjelica Huston who simply nails the role of Morticia. While the first Addams Family movie was funny, I think this is one of those rare situations where the second movie outshines the first.

There are some wonderful lines. A favorite:

Morticia: Children, do you think that we love the baby more than we love you?
Wednesday, Pugsley: Yes.
Morticia: Do you think that when there’s a new baby in the house, one of the other children has to die?
Wednesday, Pugsley: Yes.
Grandma: Well that’s just not true – not anymore.

The icing on the cake is the “First Thanksgiving” pageant. In my humble opinion, this has to be one of the top five funniest scenes in film ever.

from Adventures of Superman #632
written by Greg Rucka, penciled by Paul Pelletier (as if you couldn’t tell)

Sure are a lot of generals in that medical tent, aren’t there?

April brought the usual searches for Bwana Beast, Jabberjaw, Hawk and Dove, Wormy, Zatanna and Kim Possible (in various states of dress and undress).

As always, there were also searches by people looking for some specific information. I always wonder how they end up here. Still, I’ll do my best to help:

The voice of Ron Stoppable
Will Friedle

How tall is the Eiffel Tower in France?
324 meters (counting the flagpole)

Stories about nasogastric tube and foley catheter
I don’t have any good nasogastic stories, but I have a doozy of foley catheter story.

Most psychics have rhesus negative type blood
This would be as true as the fact that most Tooth Fairies have Rh-negative blood.

reading cat
I have two

Dr. Chase kidney & liver pills
A common patent medicine from 150 years ago. Here’s one recipe from Dr. Chase’s Recipes, published in 1866*:

Aloes and gamboge, of each 1 oz.; mandrake and blood-root, with gum myrrh, of each 1/4 oz.; gum camphor and cayenne, of each 1-1/2 drs.; ginger, 4 oz.; all finely pulverized and thoroughly mixed, with thick mucilage (made by putting a little water upon equal quantities of gum arabic and gum tragacanth) into pill mass; then formed into common sized pills. Dose: Two to four pills, according to the robustness of the patient.

Star Trek quote of many outweigh

Spock: If I may be so bold, it was a mistake for you to accept promotion. Commanding a starship is your first, best destiny; anything else is a waste of material.
Kirk: I would not presume to debate you.
Spock: That is wise. Were I to invoke logic, however, logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.
Kirk: Or the one.
Spock: You are my superior officer. You are also my friend. I have been and always shall be yours.

Proper hand position steering wheel
10 o’clock and 2 o’clock

Bicillin shot in butt
That’s where they go.

Jungian analysis of the Wizard of Oz
I’d check over at Eric’s website.

Clark Kent’s identity Superman
Shhh! Don’t let anyone else know!

Homeopathic medicine for pink eye
Given that homeopathic medicine is no better than water (in fact, it is water), it would be just as effective (and cheaper) to use water*.

Names of the original Globetrotters
Inman Jackson, Lester Johnson, Walter Wright

*Scott and Polite Dissent do not recommend nor endorse the use of any medications that have not been proven effective by modern science.

Bet you can’t guess which day I hosted Med Blogs Grand Rounds…

My contribution to Lefty’s Mixed Bag was sent out today. Based on some of the discs I’ve seen so far, my collection is going to be a little more mellow but no less eclectic.

My musical tastes can probably best be described as that area where country, classic rock, alt rock, and folk meet. Throw in a little punk and an occasional show tune and there you have it.

I have this strange affinity for depressing songs. Have you ever noticed that while male singers and groups can produce some very depressing songs (Billy Joel, Captain Jack; Pink Floyd, The Final Cut; Christy Moore, Ordinary Man), there are female singers who seem to make a whole career of them (Tori Amos, Sarah McLachlan, Kasey Chambers)?

Before you decide that I need some therapy or at least strong medication, I’m also a big fan of upbeat and up beat songs. My mix has a good selection of both (but can you decide which is which?)

For those interested (or those listeners who wonder what the heck I was thinking), here is the annotated version of my playlist, including lyrics.

If driving a car, fishing, or leading a cheer can be considered a sport then why not cutting down a tree? And there you have the quitessence of timbersports.

The Stihl Timbersports Seriesis the mainstay of lumberjack competitions. There are a number of regional events — usually held at state fairs — and then a final showdown at the end of the summer. There are six events incluidng the Underhand Chop, the Stock Saw, the Springboard, the Single Buck, the Standing Block Chop and my favorite, the Hot Saw. In this last event, competitors use souped up chainsways (usually powered with a snowmobile motor) to quickly saw three complete cuts through a log.

The ESPN Great Outdoor Games has a series of timbersports events as well. They include everything the Stihl series has, but adds log rolling competitions, speed climbing, relay events, and female lumberjacks. Truly a sight to behold.

Both series can be caught on ESPN or ESPN2.

• Over at Yet Another Comics Blog, Dave is having a Free Comics Month. Check it out and sign up!
• Laura of Bloggity-Blog-Blog-Blog is participating in the 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. It’s easy to sponsor her, so why don’t you send little money her way. It’s for a great cause.

One year ago, I started Polite Dissent with a series of rather lame posts. Since then, things have picked up and (I’m pretty sure) improved.

According to WordPress, this is my 680th entry. I’ve been able to post something every day, except for that one day last August when I was in Chicago with no internet access (Damn you, WizardWorld!).

I’ve enjoyed interacting with everyone, from creators to fans to detractors. Most of all, I’ve enjoyed just having the chance to put in my own two-cents worth.

Next year, more of the same!

I’ve been playing video games for the better part of ten years, since the glory days of the Playstation . With a few exceptions, the games I prefer seem to fall into three categories: action games, adventure games and roleplaying games. I know the line between the various types of games gets a bit blurry now and then, but it’s my site, so it’s my call.

The following have been my favorite games over the past ten years, in no particular order. Most can be found cheap in bargain bins or eBay:

Action Games:
Ratchet and Clank I, II and III(PS2) – My favorite series of games. Fun and humorous on so many levels.
Jak and Daxter I, II and III(PS2) – a close second to the Ratchet & Clank series.
Medievel I and II(PS) – Humorous horror-inspired series. Lots of fun.
Psychonauts(PS2, XB) – My current game.
Sphinx(PS2) – Play as a muumy and a god.

Adventure Games
Akuji the Heartless(PS) – Voodoo and Richard Roundtree, what more could you want?
Beyond Good and Evil(PS2, XB) – Clever setting with an intriguing storyline.
Nightmare Creatures(PS) – chasing monsters at night in Victorian England.
Ghost in the Shell(PS) – Very (very) loosely based on the original movie. In this game, you get to pilot one of the spider-like Tachikoma tanks around, shooting innocents bad guys.
God of War(PS2) – A recent favorite. Bloody, but fun.
Resident Evil(PS) – The original.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds (PS2, XB) – Surprisingly good for a licensed game.
Devil May Cry(PS2) – The orginal was haunting and fun. Diluted by the sequels.
Star Wars: Bounty Hunter(PS2) – Another good licensed game.

Roleplaying Games
Skies of Arcadia (DC, GC) – Probably my favorite video game RPG.
Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time(N64, GC) – The best of the Zelda series.
Final Fantasy VII(PS) – The best of the Final Fantasies.
Final Fantasy VIII(PS) – Good storyline and good characters.
Final Fantasy X(PS2) – Beautiful, but became too much like a chore at the end.
Final Fantasy X-2(PS2) – Like Final Fantasy X, but with beautiful women and dancing…
Legend of Legaia(PS) – An overlooked classic.
Dungeons and Dragons: Heroes(XB) – The closest I’ve come to my D&D games growing up (we were all about the hacking and slashing).
Baldur’s Gate(PS2) – A little more thoughtful than the above.
Parasite Eve(PS) – A modern day RPG by the makers of Final Fantasy.

Happy one year anniversary to Dorian’s postmodernbarney!

I suppose I’m as guilty of this as anyone…

(link from AMCGLTD)

From Geek Press, here’s a site that runs several “readability tests” on your website.

Reading level algorithms only provide a rough guide, as they tend to reward short sentences made up of short words. Whilst they’re rough guides, they can give a useful indication as to whether you’ve pitched your content at the right level for your intended audience.

Admittedly, these algorithms aren’t perfect and I’ve found they’re quite picky about HTML (sorry, Ken). With blogs, a site’s scores will change as new material is added. Still, it certainly provides food for thought.

Just for fun (and to kill time), I thought it would it interesting to see how certain comic blogs ranked according to the grade level required to understand them. Depending on your point of view, a high or low score may be good (or more than likely you really don’t care).

Read more…

Just taking a lzay day: reading, mowing the lawn and working in the garden, watching TV (Mythbusters) and playing video games. Sometimes it’s nice to have simple day and really do nothing imprtant.

The Holy Grail of war games when I was growing up was Squad Leader. Four game boards, hundreds of cardboard counters of varying colors and a rule book that made the Bible seem like a light read. Then there were the many expansions packs up to and including Advanced Squad Leader, a war game whose rules actually required a three-inch thick three-ring binder.

I think my friends and I managed to sit down and play Squad Leader all of three times, and actually finished two of those games. The game was fascinating and fun, but took a large amount of dedicated time to play (and frankly, being freshman in high school, we had just discovered girls). Still, Squad Leader sits proudly on my shelf, waiting for the day when I will find the time to play it again.

I’d love to say that playing Squad Leader and similar games led me to develop to a fine sense of strategy. I’d love to say it, but it wouldn’t be true. Despite years of war gaming I still can’t develop brilliant strategies or worthwhile (or even competent) tactics. Over the years I’ve discovered that cleverness just doesn’t work for me in this arena, so I’ve learned to be blunt: Hit ‘em hard and hit ‘em fast, that’s my rule (or if that doesn’t work: hide in Australia until everyone else is done fighting).

Tags:games squad leader risk

Onr of my favorite things to do Monday is to catch up on the weekly News of the Weird. One particular item in this week’s edition caught my eye and made me chuckle:

Kim Chan, 40, of a village in the Cambodian province of Kampot, announced in March that he had a cow that was heavenly possessed and could cure illnesses by exposure to its bodily fluids, but local official Khun Somnang immediately discounted the claim, saying, “We had a holy cow here a year and a half ago (and you) don’t get two that close together.”

Because apparently one magic cow is believable, but any more than that would just be ridiculous.

This week, NASCAR has its first night race of the season. It should be a good race because Phoenix is an exciting track, though this will be the first Nextel Cup night race held there. Night races all always fun to watch because you can see every spark flying, especially during the crashes. I have high hopes for Bobby Labonte tonight. He’s had a disappointing season so far — 4 DNF’s already — but he qualified fourth and he races well at Phoenix.

The Polite Wife and I always try our best to fight the NASCAR stereotype. We always cook up a nice gourmet dinner for the night races and savor it while watching the race. Tonight, we’ll be cooking a California-style European-inspired fondue made with a little dry white wine, Swiss and Fontina cheeses, and a splash of brandy. We have a dry Reisling from Twisted River to drink along with it.

Thanks to everyone for their iTunes recommendations. There was not one bad song in the lot. I was particularly fond of the Flaming Lips, Carbon Leaf, the Old 97’s, Rancid, Emm Gryner and Jonatha Brookes. I was already an Aimee Mann fan (yep, every album of hers since the ‘Til Tuesday days…)

I’ve signed up for Lefty Brown’s “Mixed Bag Music.” You have until Monday to sign up yourself.

Wednesday Blog-o-Bits:

• The best tool I’ve found yet for checking for broken links: Xenu’s Link Sleuth. It’s easy to use, free, fast, and produces a report that not only lists which links are broken, but where those links are located.
• Just in time for Passover: Ben Grim’s Seder. Featuring cameos from Magneto, Doc Strange, Sabra, H.E.R.B.I.E., Moon Knight, Kitty Pryde, Sabr, Rama-Tut, William Shatner and others. (From Boing Boing)
• The 1st Anniversay edition of Tangled Bank has been posted at Circadiana. There are some interesting posts; I found the one about the appendix particularly interesting.

In the recent nostalgia boom (both in comics and elsewhere), there was one group that I noticed had been left out. That was remedied last night when one of the Shogun Warriors showed up on Robot Chicken. Fighting in the ring in the Yakuza Fighter World Championship, he was just like I remembered with flying fists and a weird little spaceship.

I never had the Shogun Warrior toys growing up, but I did have several of the Shogun Warrior models. I had Mazinga, Dragun and Gaiking. They were all put together badly, but at least they had paint — unlike most of my models. I liked modeling, but I was never any good at it. I simply didn’t have the patience or the eye-hand coordination to do a good job. That never stopped me from trying though. I had a whole shelf in my bedroom for the models I built. There were the Shogun Warriors, a dirty-white Star Wars X-Wing fighter, a smudgedthe see-through frog (with all the internal organs), the USS Missouri, an SR-71 and a P-51 Mustang (with a single bladed propeller). They were ugly and poorly done, and I knew it, but I was proud of them anyway.

No medical review in this week’s Lois Lane Friday. Instead, I’m going to take a look at Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #121 and the debut of the “new look” Lois.

Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #121 “Everything You Wanted to Know About Lois Lane * But Were Afraid to Ask!”
Cary Bates, writer
Werner Roth, penciler

The cover is wonderful, but unfortunately there is no scene even remotely resembling that cover in the comic. Sigh.

Distraught over the death of her sister Lucy¹, Lois Lane wanders the streets of Metropolis for days on end. At one point, a young woman named Julie saves her from muggers. Only when Julie’s life is threatened by these muggers does Lois finally wake up out of her funk.

Later, as Julie and Lois are talking in her parent’s apartment, the landlord comes by and tells them that unless Julie can pay the rent, her parents will lose their apartment. It seems that her parents and all the other elderly couples in the apartment building received brochures from a retirement village called “Paradise Haven.” A bus from Paradise Haven was sent to pick up the retirees, but they never returned. The police have no leads².

At this point Lois decides that she needs to rededicate her career as a journalist to helping others. She quits the Daily Planet and starts work as a freelance reporter. She shows up at the Planet office in her new hairstyle and hip-70s outfit to tell Perry, Clark and Jimmy she quits. On the way out, she tearfully breaks up with Superman, telling him she’s no longer “the girl he comes back to between missions.”

Her first job as a freelancer is to discover what happened to Julie’s parents. She digs through old papers and finds out that their landlord is a former con artist. She dresses as an old lady and threatens to blackmail him unless he cuts her in on the deal. He flies her out in his helicopter to Paradise Haven, which is really just a row of shacks in the desert. He then revels that he knows that she’s an imposter and not an old lady because she’s wearing sexy fake eyelashes. “Oops! This is the kind of mistake that can get a girl killed!” thinks Lois as she is pushed out of the helicopter.

Superman arrives just in the nick of time to save Lois. He rips the blades of the helicopter and knocks out the landlord. Just then an earthquake hits Paradise Acres and he flies down to help. In my favorite scene, he tells Lois to take control of the helicopter – that’s right, the helicopter he just ripped the blades off of.

Superman is able to rescue the elderly couples and makes an astonishing discovery, the land Shady Acres is built on is loaded with uranium – they’re rich³!

Lois returns to Metropolis and decides that since she’s no longer a star reporter, she needs to take in some roommates. Julie moves in with her, along with the mysterious Kristin Cutler and the Rubenesque Marsha Mallow⁴. These roommates remain characters in the comic until it is finally cancelled with issue #137.

¹ Lucy disappeared over a waterfall while in a canoe in South America. Superman could find the ruined canoe, but no sign of Lucy. He believes her dead, but I believe to be in The Land of the Lost.
²Exactly how hard is it to find a large bus full of retirees?
³I wonder how this uranium find made the older couples rich. They had never actually bought into Paradise Haven, they were just touring it. The crooked con man still own the land — so he’s the rich one.
⁴I think some people are just doomed to be chunky from the day they were born. With a name like “Marsha Mallow” what chance did she have? She sould changer her name or at least sue her parents.

Returning Favorites:
As usual, Hawk and Dove and Zatanna were popular search terms. Dave Trampier and Wormy also had fewer searches and Bwana Beast had no searches this month (nor, I should point out, did “Freedom Beast”). New favorites include “Dana Delaney” and “Crimetime After Primetime.” Who knew CBS’s failed late-night experiment would still be so popular ten-years later?

Other interesting searches:
How boring nascar is
I’ll admit it’s not always the most exciting sport to watch, but then it still beats watching golf or fishing (or football, as far as I’m concerned). It also helps to know enough about the sport to understand the drama behind it, and that takes a little bit of time. Personally, I’d recommend watching the short track races (Richmond, Bristol, Martinsville) and avoiding the restrictor plate races.

Zoo attacks
Now that’s a comic I’d read.

Who was alice chasing when she fell down the hole in wonderland?
The White Rabbit (cue Grace Slick). Though Alice didn’t fall down the hole in Wonderland, she fell down the hole and ended up in Wonderland. Maybe you should read your Cliff’s Notes again.

WKRP DVD
Sadly, no time soon, if ever. I refer you to the ultra-knowledgeable Tom the Dog.

Do doctors hate drug reps?
Personally, I dislike their profession, but I like most of them individually.

How to remove smoke stains from hummel figurines?
How did this search end up at my site, of all places?

Teen titan characters bumble bee lady
You mean Bumblebee?

Most common house color
I would think white, though beige siding seems to be very popular around here.

Could you give me some information on Blackbeard the pirate?
Sure, thanks for asking. His real name was Edward Teach and his ship was the Queen Anne’s Revenge. Here’s some more information. http://www.legends.dm.net/pirates/blackbeard.html

Ugliest baseball players of the 1990s
A good question. I can’t think of anyone particularly horrid off the top of my head, but give me a little time. Also, are we talking minor leagues too, or just MLB? And how did you end up on my site?

Things doctors do not want you to know
If I told you, then you’d tell someone else, and then soon everybody would know! Seriously though, I get discouraged when I see e-mails, ads and infomercial touting secrets we physicians are supposedly hiding from our patients. What a crock! My job is to get patients better, period. I would gain nothing by withholding information. I would love to be able to cure cancer, heart disease or even the common cold*. I got into medicine to help people, not to make money (or I certainly wouldn’t be a Family Physician).

Bart Simpson erotic cartoons
The single most disturbing search of the month.

College freshmen mistakes
I made my share, and most involved blondes.

Four legged insects.
None. Insects have six legs (well, except caterpillars, now that I think about it)

I like gummi bears
So do I.

Dr. Schnee was a soda produced by the Vess Soda (“The Billion Bubble Beverage”) Company. As the name suggests, Dr. Schnee was a Dr. Pepper knock-off, though its taste was a little sweeter and cherry-er (probably closer to a Mr. Pibb).

Each day after Cross-Country practice, my friends and I would swing by Quayle’s Amoco