Polite Dissent

She-Hulk is simply a comic which keeps getting better with each issue In issue #6, the second part of a two part storyline, Jen and her co-workers are trapped inside her law firm’s office with a group of miniaturized super-villains. Havoc and hilarity ensue.

There are many good reasons not to overlook She-Hulk. First, the storylines are clever. They are written to focus mainly on non-super powered Jen Walters, but also give She-Hulk her time to shine. Second, the art is terrific. Paul Pelletier contributes good pencils to this storyline and regular penciler Juan Bobillo has a lightweight style that fits the book perfectly. Third, the humor is natural. It’s not forced; there’s no “breaking the fourth wall.” This is the funniest super-hero book currently on the market. Fourth, Awesome Andy…’nuff said.

The covers are terrible though. They are the standard Marvel poster style covers that give no clue as to what is going on inside the book. For instance, what does She-Hulk smashing her own logo have to do with chasing down six-inch tall super villains through an office building?

Best lines of the issue:
1. Yellow Jacket to Lawyer: “Comic books? You’re going to bring a motion to shut down the big house because of things you’ve read in copies of old Marvel Comics?”
Lawyer to Yellow Jacket: “I assure you doctor. They’ve all been verified by the Comics Code of America…a federal agency, and will hold up in a court of law.”
2. The villain Eight-Ball after he’s been smashed against the wall, then asked if he’s okay: “Reply hazy ask again later”

Tags: comics she-hulk jen walters

The best part of my surgery rotation during medical school was the two weeks I spent working with the vascular surgeons. It was during this part of the rotation where I got my first chance to sew up an incision. Vascular surgery cases were long and very technical, but fascinating. They involved repairing or bypassing arteries and veins throughout the body. Surgeries could easily last all day long.

The head vascular surgeon was Dr. Peterson. He was a brilliant physician, but very quiet and reserved. An extremely nice man, he was one of those people who always managed to say exactly the wrong thing. I spent much of my mornings with him explaining to patients and their families what he really meant to say.

One afternoon we were in the operating room doing a carotid endarterectomy. In this surgery, a carotid artery that is narrowed with plaque is cleaned out. Sometimes, a piece of the saphenous vein (the long vein in the leg) is used to replace the carotid if the artery is too badly damaged. That was the case this afternoon, and Dr. Peterson had removed and inverted a portion of the saphenous vein and was now beginning to attach it to the carotid artery.

“Scott,” Doctor Peterson said. “Why don’t you sew up the site on the leg where we harvested the vein?”

I readily agreed, and moved from the neck of the patient down to his leg.

I looked down at his leg. There was about a 4-inch incision to sew up. It wasn’t too deep, so a single layer of stitches was all that would be needed. When repairing the skin, surgeons prefer to use a style of sewing known as the subcuticular stitch. This involves using a series of stitches that are placed just under the skin. It is a running style of suturing, meaning that there is a knot at each end of the incision as opposed to a knot on each stitch, which is known as an interrupted suture. Absorbable suture is used for subcuticular stitches so that they will dissolve on their own and don’t need to be removed. Surgeons claim that they use subcuticular suturing because it gives better results; other experts say that results from subcuticular stitches are no better than any other technique, it’s just that surgeons are too lazy to remove their stitches later on.

The nurse handed me a forceps, a needle-driver, and a length of absorbable suture. I made a stitch at the lower end of the incision and tied a knot. Next, I made a small stitch on one side of the incision, then one on the second side, then the first again, and so on. Think of the way a shoe lace alternates from one side to the other as you lace up a pair of shoes; that’s what subcuticular suturing is like. I was doing my best to make sure that the two sides matched perfectly, but it’s hard because the stitches are at an angle to the incision (again like the shoe lace).

Finally I reached the end of the incision, tied the second knot, and cut the needle off the thread. I stood back, relieved that I had finished. That’s when I looked up and realized that everybody in the operating room had been intently watching me. The main part of the operation had been over for half an hour! It took twice as long for me to sew a short incision as it did for Dr. Peterson to replace and repair the carotid artery.

Dr. Peterson looked critically at my work, and then looked at me. “Don’t worry,” he said kindly. “The patient will be too concerned about the small surgical scar on his neck to notice the big one on his leg.” He patted me on the shoulder and strolled out the room.

I can suture much better now. Really.

Identity Crisis #2 House of Lies
Brad Meltzer, writer
Rags Morales, penciler (that’s spelled with one “l”, DC)

The time has finally come to enter the fray that is known as “Identity Crisis.” I’ve put off this moment as long as I could, but when the autopsy scene at the end of Identity Crisis #2 reared its ugly head, I knew I had to take my stand.
(NOTE: So as not to give any plot points away, I will refer to the decedent as Somebody Dead, or SD for short.)

After Dr. Mid-Nite has finished SD’s autopsy, he calls Oracle:

The bad news is that, two days ago, SD supposedly died by carbon monoxide poisoning brought on by her third degree burns.

And under that scenario – beyond what else the autopsy’s showing – she would’ve breathed so much soot into her lungs, her bronchi and trachea should be black.

There’s no reason that Dr. Mid-Nite should have been expecting to find carbon monoxide poisoning in SD. Carbon monoxide is a colorless odorless gas that is produced by smoking cigarettes, the incomplete combustion of fossil fuels or the burning of certain chemical compounds. SD was not smoking cigarettes. There were no leaky furnaces, kerosene heaters or car exhaust in the room. SD herself was burned, not her surroundings so there was nothing that was burned to give off carbon monoxide. Therefore there is no chance that she would have been exposed to carbon monoxide. Dr. Mid-Nite should have known this.

Additionally, burns themselves have nothing to do with carbon monoxide. They don’t cause carbon monoxide poisoning, and they aren’t caused by carbon monoxide. In some rare circumstances, the same process can lead to both burns and carbon monoxide poisoning (like a house fire started by a leaky kerosene heater), but this is the exception rather than the rule. SD’s burns could not have “brought on” carbon monoxide poisoning as Mid-Nite stated.

As a side nit-pick, most medical authorities are moving away from the first-, second- and third-degree burn terminology and now using the terms partial thickness burn and full thickness burn.

While it’s true that people who die in fires or suffer smoke inhalation have soot in their trachea and lungs, this would not have been true for SD. Since she died shortly after being burned, there was no prolonged period of breathing smoky air. In addition, her surroundings were not burned, only she was. There wasn’t enough smoke around to blacken her lungs even if she had the time to breathe it in.

A final nit-pick, when Mid-Nite tells Oracle that he’s looking at her lungs and trachea “right now”, he’s shown examining her back. Sure, the lungs can be examined posteriorly, but the trachea is in the front and couldn’t be examined from behind.

Dr. Mid-Nite may be an excellent surgeon and big name super-hero, but as a medical examiner he leaves a lot to be desired.

Demo #7, “One Shot, Don’t Miss“, has been one of my favorite issues of the series. The protagonist is John Hatfield, a young man who has joined the Army to support his wife and child and to earn money for college. However, when he arrives in Iraq he finds that he cannot bring himself to shoot at the enemy. He considers it murder and refuses to take part in it. In short order, he is discharged from the military and home with his wife and child. Shocked by his choice, his wife is extremely upset with him and concerned for their future. Hatfield may have left the Army, but his life seems little better at home.

The stark black and white art by Becky Cloonan is very beautiful and extremely powerful. Her use of shadows is masterful and the style fits the grim story perfectly.

Writer Brian Wood is using this issue as a forum to speak out both against the Iraq war and against the recruiting tactics used by the armed forces. Whatever points aren’t conveyed in the comic itself are clearly spelled out in his commentary in the back. I have no problems with comic books being political and taking sides on issues. I also have no problems with Wood’s positions. His live journal entries clearly show his commitment to these views and I commend that. While I may not necessarily agree with him, I do not find his views unreasonable or dishonest.

However, I am concerned about some misinformation that is conveyed in the comic. According to the story, Hatfield had to borrow money from his father-in-law in order to pay to enroll in the G.I. Bill. This is a misleading depiction of the situation. The Montgomery G.I. Bill does have a $1200 “buy in”, but it’s not a lump sum that needs to be paid up front as the story and Wood’s column suggests. Instead it is a $100 deduction from monthly pay for the first year in the military. That’s not to say that that there aren’t downsides to the G.I. Bill, there are (the deposit is non-refundable, for starters), but it’s not the financial hardship Wood implies.

Wood also posts a flier on his website (reproduced here so I don’t steal his bandwidth). The flier makes some interesting points, but I am suspicious of many of its statistics. I’m sure they are real numbers, but are presented in a very one-sided misleading manner. This is not to say that their points may not be valid, it’s just that they are spun so hard (and not sourced) that it’s hard to tell. I agree with some of the points and I disagree with some, but I dislike political spin and I loathe the misrepresentation of statistics.

The art and writing on Demo #7 are excellent. The series has often been thought-provoking in a personal way, but now it takes on a political aspect as well. While I may not agree with the conclusions writer Brian Wood reaches, I agree that these are important issues to discuss. As for the art of Becky Cloonan, this is simply her best issue yet.

Disclaimer:
Let me make my biases clear and upfront. I served in the military for four years as a member of the Air Force Medical Corps. I am proud of serving and proud of what I accomplished in my time in the military. While there were some parts I was not fond of (gas mask training, for instance), overall I enjoyed my military experience. While I was deployed to the Middle East for an extended period of time, I did not experience combat (and I’m glad I did not). However, I fully understood that my role in the military included the possibility of combat.

I do not feel the military is perfect or could not be changed for the better. An ideal military would provide equal opportunites and education to all interested and determined individuals.

UPDATE (3 Sept 04): Be sure to read Brian Wood’s replies in the comments section.

I’d like to bid a fond farewell to John Jakala and Grotesque Anatomy, one of the first comic blogs I read and always one of the best. Plus, you just gotta love that name.

Thanks for the issues of Street Angel (and my wife liked Love Hina)…

As I was grabbing a quick breakfast of Rice Krispies in the hospital this morning, another physician came into the doctors’ lounge and turned the TV to CNBC. One of their reporters was doing a piece on whether Bush’s speech last night swayed any undecided voters. To determine this, he gathered a sizable group of undecided voters and sent them to a “speech party” that a local Republican was holding. Afterward, he interviewed four of the attendees. The first one said she was leaning towards Kerry. The second one said she had firmly decided on Kerry. The third interviewee said that he was leaning towards Bush. The final person interviewed, who was the Republican who hosted the party, said that he was firmly in the Bush camp. The reporter then summed up by saying that his “informal poll” showed that undecided voters were “split evenly” between Bush and Kerry.

• Informal poll or not, interviewing 4 people is not enough draw any conclusions.
• The reporter did not interview 4 undecided voters, he interviewed three undecided voters and a member of the Republican Party, invalidating his entire premise.
• You could also argue the point that having the undecided voters attend a Republican speech party was not a neutral environment and could skew the results as well.

Now I’m not picking on Republicans here. I’ve seen both major parties frequently skew statistics. It’s not just the big two either; the Reform and Green Parties handle statistics just as poorly.

CNBC should know better though.

Polite Dissent throws its political weight behind the only logical candidate for presidency … Brother Voodoo!

Just as psychiatrist is used by comic book writers as as a kind of shorthand (denoting a doctor who may be a little nefarious or have an ulterior motive), surgeon is also comic book writer shorthand. It is used to describe any doctor who is supposed to be a cut above (pun intended) and particularly brilliant.

(On the other hand, some writers seem to be lazy and use the terms surgeon and doctor interchangeably. The phrases may have meant the same thing once — in the 19th century for instance — but surgeons have been considered a specialty for a long time now.)

It requires a minimum of 5 years of surgical residency to become a General Surgeon (some residencies require a sixth research year). Surgical subspecialties (such as Vascular Surgery, Plastic Surgery, Neurosurgery and Orthopedics) require even longer residencies. In contrast, most primary residencies (including Family Practice) take 3 years.

Comic Book Surgeons:
The Good Guys:
Dr. Mid-Nite Charles McNider; the original. Surgeon and Golden Age super-hero. JSA member.
Dr. Midnight Beth Chapel. A surgical intern, and student of the Charles McNider. Member of Infinity Inc. The Comic Treadmill sums Dr. Midnight up well in this description of her first appearance in Infinity Inc. There is also a picture of her painful-to-look-at costume (yep, she definitely was blind).
Dr. Mid-Nite II Pietr Cross. A surgeon who also had been a student of McNider. A frequent target of my posts.
Dr. Strange Stephen Strange was a succesful surgeon before a car accident led to alcoholism and mysticism.

The Bad Guys:
Cardiac Eli Wirtham, criminal “vigilante”. (Why are so many comic book doctors named some variationof Wertham?)
Hush Thomas Elliot…not just a surgeon, a neurosurgeon! And he’s the “best neurosurgeon in the world!” (The phrase “best neurosurgeon in the world” is ? and ™ 2004 by Polite Dissent)

A quiet holiday weekend so far. My parents came up from St. Louis Friday night and we had a nice dinner at 2 Chez on the north side of Peoria (mmm…crab cakes). Saturday afternoon we traveled down the road (State Road 9, to be exact) to Mackinaw Valley Vineyard, a local winery. They had some excellent wines, and the Polite-Wife and I ended up buying a bottle of Eric’s Red and Edleweiss. Just going to take it easy the rest of the weekend: read some comics, watch NASCAR, and play Looneyland (I don’t know whether to thank Jog or strangle him for suggesting this game).

Sunday Blog-o-Bits:

• I missed Justice League Unlimited last night, but was able to catch it on repeat this afternoon. It was another good episode, this time starring Supergirl, Green Arrow, and the Question. Mike at Progressive Ruin sums it up best. I agree with him that “Tea” seems to be the JLU’s Powergirl, though the name threw me (but I guess they couldn’t exactly call her “Kara”, could they? Karen would have worked though); the scene with the injured Tea at the very end reminded me of JLE #9.
  There were some great lines, such as when the Question tells Supergirl “Don’t be ridiculous. I go through everyone’s trash” and when Green Arrow describes the Tea as more “mature.” And I do think that was Wildcat.
  (And I had to explain to the Polite-Wife who Powergirl was…that’s a long, laborious and mostly non-sensical history. And that’s before Crisis.)
• Johanna and Jon debate Defender Bear, a combination blog/web-comic. It’s worth a look even if most of the humor is subtle (at best) and the message is very un-subtle. (I did like the trout talking about “the Main Stream” though).
• We traveled to Best Buy this morning to find two DVDs: Hellboy and Batman the Animated Series. Of course, they were out of both (sigh). I did find the last disc I need of Big O, and the Polite-Wife picked up the latest episode of Last Exile. And we finally bought the “All in One” scanner/printer/copier/fax we’ve been talking about for a while as both our scanner and printer are terminal and not expected to survive.
• I’ve been having a problem with deer eating the plants in my butterfly garden, so when we were out this morning, I picked up some deer repellant spray. It’s active ingredients? Putrescent egg solids, capsicum (i.e. cayenne pepper oil), and garlic. Sounds like a classic Caesar salad dressing; all it’s missing are the anchovies. (Smells like Frank’s Red Hot Sauce when I was spraying it on)
• Also picked up Tales of a Librarian, a Tori Amos collection while at Best Buy. Appropriately, the songs are arranged according to the Dewey Decimal System. For instance, “Bliss” is listed under 120 Epistemology and 129 Origin and Destiny of Individual Souls. “Pretty Good Year” is listed under 520 Astronomy and 529.32 Calendars.

Before he wrote such compassionate comics as Wanted and Chosen, Mark Millar honed his writing skills on Superman for the Animals, a free comic published by DC Comics in January 2000 and co-sponsored by the Doris Day Animal Foundation. The story, entitled “Dear Superman…”, was written by Millar with art by comic book veterans Tom Grummet and Dick Giordano.

The comic tells the story of Tommy, a twelve year-old who moves to a new city and falls in with the wrong crowd. How do we know they’re the wrong crowd? Because they discuss comic books, of course (“Batman can beat Superman?! Man you need a shrink to take a look inside that crazy head of yours.”) Seriously, we know they’re a bad crowd because they’re cruel to animals. When we first meet gang leader Ballser, he is teasing a caged squirrel. This is followed by kicking pigeons, torturing goldfish, shooting junkyard dogs and throwing a kitten off an overpass onto a busy freeway below.

Luckily, Superman happens along just then (you knew he had to be in this comic eventually, after all his name is on the cover) and catches the kitten. Next, he stops a fire at the local chemical plant and manages to save Tommy’s dad. Watching Superman, Tommy realizes that it’s wrong to “pick on anyone weaker than you.”

Meanwhile, Ballser and the rest of the gang (Charlie, Donuts, and Eightball — no, really, that’s their names) have killed the science teacher’s pet squirrel. Tommy confronts Ballser and a fight breaks out between the two of them. Tommy lands the first punch, but then Ballser punches him repeatedly, first with his fists and then with a handy CD rack. Finally, he throws a small suitcase at Tommy. This suitcase conveniently breaks open, spilling out dozens of collars of local pets that had gone missing or been killed. Horrified, the rest of the group finally realized that hurting animals is bad (well, except for Ballser who attempts to go after Tommy with a baseball bat.) Tommy, Donuts, Charlie and Eightball fess up to the science teacher, and to make amends Tommy and Donuts volunteer at the local animal shelter. Ballser meanwhile finds himself dealing with the police and “sent into heavy duty therapy with a psychologist.” Tommy adopts the cat Superman saved, and then he and Donuts discover something better than maiming innocent animals: girls.

Besides the story and five pages of DC house ads, Superman for the Animals also contains a the alliterative Comics for Compassion Coloring Contest, where children 8-12 got to color a picture of Superman and tell DC Comics how they would help animals if they had super powers. The winner got the chance to appear in a DC comic along with their favorite pet. Sadly, I don’t know if this ever came to pass.

Other Interesting Facts about Superman for the Animals:

• The New England Anti-Vivisection Society (NEAVS) was originally scheduled to run a full color ad in the comic, but DC got cold feet at the last minute and canceled the ad “faster than a speeding bullet” NEAVS’s website tells us. The ad was then scheduled to run in the first issue of Bongo’s Bart Comics. (I can find no listing of any Bart Comics, I assume they mean Simpsons Comics Present Bart Simpson).
• Being cruel to animals is one of the diagnostic criteria for conduct disorder.
• 67,000 copies of the comic were released to comic book stores, packaged with copies of Batman: Gotham Adventures, Superman Adventures, Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E., Impulse, and Hourman (where I found my copy). I don’t think any of these titles still being published today. Not a good sign.
• An additional 6,500 copies were distributed by the Doris Day Animal Foundation to scout troops, social workers, school teachers, and social workers. Sadly, their supply is now exhausted and the comic remains out of print. However, it seems that their second Comics for Compassion, X-Men Unlimited #44, is still available.
• A vegetarian activist site proudly proclaims that “Mark Millar, author of Superman for the Animals, is a vegetarian.”
• Superman for the Animals can currently be found on eBay for $1-2, X-Men Unlimited #44 for 99?, and Simpson Comics present Bart Simpson can usually be found for 99? as well. Collector’s items each and every one. But them, save them, and send your kids to college.

For fans of H.P. Lovecraft, the latest issue of Dragon Magazine (#324, October 2004) contains an article detailing the influence of Lovecraft’s writings on the game of Dungeons & Dragons. A brief synopsis of his life and works begins the article, and then it details adventures, monsters and concepts that the author feels are based on the work of Lovecraft.

The author does a concise job covering the convoluted history of the Deities & Demigods Cyclopedia, especially the much sought after first edition. The Deities & Demigods Cyclopedia was a Dungeons & Dragons reference book that contained statistics for various gods and mythological monsters so that they could be incorporated into the game. In addition to the more common mythologies, there were several chapters based on the works of fantasy authors. One of these was a sizable section with creatures from Lovecraft’s writings. Shortly after publication, Chaosium obtained the rights to Lovecraft’s works (for their Call of Cthulhu role-playing game) and so the later editions of Deities & Demigods did not contain this section. Similarly, Chaosium also obtained the rights to Michael Moorcock’s Elric series and so the Melnibon顮 section of the book was also missing from later editions (though this is not mentioned in the article).

Several extensive quotes culled from some of Lovecraft’s voluminous correspondence are included in the article as well. In particular, there is an interesting quote about the origin of Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser that I’ve never seen before (and for the record, the Lankhmar section remained in the later editions of Deities & Demigods).

While there are passages where it feels like the author is reaching too hard for connections, it is a well written piece overall and worth reading for any Lovecraft or D&D fan.

Another must for any fan of H.P. Lovecraft is Pok鴨ulhu: The Adventure Game. Written by S. John Ross and illustrated by John Kovalic, this game somehow manages to combine the classic works of Lovecraft with Pok魯n. The results are a short hilarious game that is worth every penny of its $5.95 price tag. There are enough inside jokes for both Pok魯n players and long time Lovecraft aficionados to keep the reader in stitches for hours (check out the map on the inside front cover). Now they even make Pok鴨ulhu miniatures!

Unfortunately, Lovecraft does not always get good press. In 1987 Baen Books published a collection of Robert E. Howard stories entitled Cthulhu: The Mythos and Kindred Horrors. Being a fan of both Lovecraft and Howard, I picked it up the minute I saw it. Reading the introduction by David Drake, you would think that Howard was the sole creator and writer involved in the weird tales genre. Lovecraft is only mentioned once, and then in a derogatory fashion. This is despite the fact that his creation Cthulhu is the first word in the title and a picture of Cthulhu adorns the cover.

In no way am I maligning Howard’s work. He wrote some excellent stories in this genre, and most are collected in this book (including the incredible “Pigeons From Hell”). It just irks me the misleading way that Baen published this otherwise excellent collection.

I have noticed some signs and symptoms around this site of the creeping disease that is known as link rot. So with the help of Dead-Links.com, I am going to go through and fix all the broken links. For those of you who read Polite Dissent via syndication or news feed, you may notice some older posts showing up again.

UPDATED: Finished. Still a few broken links I couldn’t find, but the vast majority are fixed. I also corrected my earlier fixation with HTML tables.

Ross Macdonald, the nom de plume of Kenneth Millar, is probably the least known of the “holy trinity” of original American hard-boiled detective writers. A prolific writer, he was the author of over twenty five novels and a handful of short stories.

His novels all concern Lew Archer, a private investigator in California. Archer is a complex character, flawed but still with a strong sense of right and wrong. As a character, he matures as the series continues. The Archer in the later books is a much more complex man than the one in the novels written in the 1950s. It’s important to note that each book is complete in and of itself, so they don’t have to be read in any particular order.

In addition to the requisite murder (usually murders), his novels all seem to have a dark family secret at the center of them, usually related to a childhood trauma of some sort. This is most likely because of the turbulent childhood Millar himself lived through. The Galton Case, published in 1959, is felt to be the most autobiographical of his novels.

His best (at least of those I’ve read) are The Galton Case, The Chill, The Drowning Pool, and The Far Side of the Dollar, though any Macdonald book is a good read.

With all the talk about Sue-this and Jean-that, reviewers of DC’s Identity Crisis have missed the most significant death. It’s understandable why it wasn’t noticed right away as it’s tucked away in a small corner of the scene on the villains’ space station. As Merlyn is walking into the common room on the space station, his running commentary gives the reader clues to what is going on.

The only people I don’t talk to are these two.
Phobia and Dr. Moon.
Scary and Scarier.
Once a month they come up here and someone disappears.
Signalman’s been missing since January.

And there you have it; the most important event in the Identity Crisis to date: the apparent death of Signalman.

First appearing in Batman #112 (December 1957), Phillip Cobb was a small-time crook who devised his Signalman guise and shtick after seeing the Bat Signal in the sky. He committed crimes based on signals and left signals behind as clues for Batman to deduce. He failed repeatedly as Signalman, so he tried his hands as an archer once, becoming the Blue Bowman before he returned to crime (unsuccessful as always) as Signalman. His final appearance was apparently Batman: Gotham Knights #33.

With his first appearance in 1957, Signalman predates both the Elongated Man (April/May1960) and the Atom (Sept/Oct 1961) as well as their respective spouse and ex-spouse: Sue Dibny (Mar 1961) and Jean Loring (Sept/Oct 1961). He was also around long before Dr. Light (June 1962). (It’s interesting to note that Signalman is also 13 years older than Brad Meltzer.) It’s a shame to see the death of Signalman eclipsed by the antics of all these Johnnies-come-lately.

It’s wrong to think of Signalman as a poor man’s Riddler; he’s more of the poor man’s Cluemaster, only he appeared several years earlier — and he still got less press. His trouble was not only one of the world’s ugliest costumes, but also his inability to understand his own symbols (what exactly does the checkered flag mean?) .

As I am in mourning for Signalman and busy working on the Dissent Party’s Presidential Campaign (Vote Voodoo!), I may not have time for a regular post today. In the meantime, here are some Wednesday Blog-o-Bits:

• Angel of the Morning. Today is your last day to enter Johanna’s Fallen Angel contest. This is a chance to get a collection of one of the best comics published now. Don’t miss it!
• WWDD? Matt over at Highway 62 is fielding questions for none other than the Dread Dormammu. Have any questions you’d like to ask the big guy? Well now’s your chance!
• Armor Wars, part 2. From the Comic Treadmill, purchase your own set of Iron Man armor, cheap !

Captain America & The Falcon #5 “Jimmy’s Way”
Priest, writer
Joe Bennet, penciler

The Falcon is describing the “Super Sailor” to Luke Cage:

He uses narcotics patches that feed AVX into his nervous system.

I’m confused about AVX. Previous issues of Captain America & the Falcon established that the drug acetovaxidol (AVX) was a steroid. However this issue informs the reader (repeatedly) that the Super-Sailor receives his AVX through “narcotics patches.”

I suspect that Priest is just using the term “narcotics patch” as a generic term for any patch that administers medication. However, he certainly could be using the term to imply that AVX is a narcotic drug (which is very different from a steroid), or suggest that AVX is given along with narcotics.

Other statements in the issue complicate the matter further. Steroids do not work through the nervous system; instead they work directly to stimulate muscle growth and protein production. Narcotics, on the other hand, do work through the central nervous system.

Neither steroids nor narcotics have the deadly withdrawal symptoms described for AVX, though narcotic withdrawal may make people wish they were dead.

Since AVX is similar to what gave Luke Cage his powers, maybe if I knew more about his origin, I would know more about AVX.

(Yes I know it’s only a comic-book, and trust me, I’m not losing any sleep over AVX, but I still like consistency in my stories.)

Uncanny X-Men #446 “The End of History”
Chris Claremont, writer
Alan Davis, penciler

Sage’s brain and nervous system are being taken over by the technological entity the Fury:

It imbalances her brain chemistry to make her more pliant. Builds alternate neural nets.

Reformats the acetylcholine levels of the somatic and parasympathetic nervous systems – to solidify its control over her major voluntary functions.

Claremont is correct that acetylcholine is the major chemical neurotransmitter of both the somatic and the parasympathetic nervous system.

The somatic nervous system – also known as the voluntary nervous system — controls voluntary actions and muscle movements, so directing this would certainly control Sage’s motor functions.

However, the parasympathetic nervous system is part of the involuntary nervous system, so controlling it would do nothing in regards to voluntary functions.

Over at A View From the Ham, Kerry looks into the Political Machine computer game. It’s a game that lets you run either the Kerry or Bush (or even other candidate’s) campaign for President. I saw it on the shelf last week when I was at Best Buy, and briefly glanced at it (OK, I just looked at the cover art). I thought it looked kind of schlocky. Now, reading Kerry’s post and looking more into the game, I find myself intrigued. I just may have to pick it up.

Back in high school, a group of us would get together and play games on Friday night (well, at least until we got our drivers licenses and/or started dating). Usually we played D&D or Call of Cthulhu, but then one day one of my friends brought out this old presidential campaign game of his father’s. It was a great game! Four people played, and each person took the role of one of the presidential or vice-presidential candidates. Over the next several “months”(game turns), your character would travel the country trying to rack up electoral votes. It was a fun game with some clever mechanics. It took about 2 hours (or 1 deci-Risk) to play. Unfortunately, I don’t remember the name of the game, I just know it was old in the mid-to-late 80s, when I was in high school. I think it was Mr. President, but I certainly could be wrong.

If the Political Machine is anything like that game, I’ve got a new time-killer on my hands.

In the past week, I’ve seen more patients than usual complaining of chest pain. They’ve all told me that they are concerned about their health because of “what happened to President Clinton.” It’s not that these patients are hypochondriacs; rather they have finally decided to be evaluated for chest pains that have been going on for weeks or months. At least two of these patients had bad stress test results and needed a further work-up by cardiologists. My partner and colleagues at the hospital have seen the same jump in patients complaining of chest pain.

Apparently we are not the only doctors seeing this; the Associated Press is calling it the “Clinton Syndrome.”

This is a perfect example of what I was talking about the other day when I pointed out that too many writers can’t tell the difference between surgeons and non-surgeons. In the same panel in a recent comic, a character is first referred to as an internist and then later as a surgeon. An internist is a specialist in internal medicine – much different than a surgeon, whose speciality is (wait for it) surgery. Sure they’re both doctors, but with different roles (just like the penciler and inker are both artists, but doing different tasks).

This image is from the second story in Spider-Man Unlimited #4. Art by C.P. Smith, words by Allan Jacobson, emphasis by me.

Another week, another good JLU episode. This one was primarily about Booster Gold, who stayed true to his comic book roots as a shallow “hero” interested mostly in fame and fortune. The humor quotient was high, with the recurring joke that everyone thought Booster was Green Lantern. His sycophantic robot pal Skeets was worth the price of admission all by himself (his best line: “I got nothing.”).

The backdrop of this episode was a battle with the supremely powerful Mordru. Hero after hero was called in to help, including – reluctantly (to J’onn that is, Booster was ecstatic) – Booster Gold. The episode was strongly reminiscent of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode “The Zeppo” which focused entirely on Xander while the rest of the gang was off fighting an apocalyptic monster in the background. Similarly, this episode focused on Booster while the rest of the Justice League was in the background fighting the big baddy. While Mordru was beaten in the end, his defeat was just a minor part of the plot.

Elongated Man had a nice role in this episode as well. Initially he was assigned to help Booster with crowd control because Plastic Man was already in the front lines and they “didn’t need two stretchy guys.” He ended up saving the day in the end, though.

Heroes shown included Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Green Lantern, Elongated Man, Booster (but sadly no Beetle), Fire, Ice, Hawk, Dove, Vigilante, Aztek, Vibe (!), Stars, S.T.R.I.P.E., Captain Atom, the Shining Knight, the Huntress and Plastic Man (mentioned, but not seen).

I also managed to catch the new Batman series this morning. It was not anywhere as good as Batman the Animated Series, but much better then the Batman cartoons from the 1970s. It was an enjoyable show, though clearly aimed at a less sophisticated audience than Justice League Unlimited. The way that Bruce Wayne was drawn reminded me too much of Jackie Chan from the Jackie Chan Adventures. The new Joker was quite imposing and much more physical than previous incarnations of the character; he was the first Joker to actually seem frightening. I liked the new look for Wayne Manor in the way it resembled a medieval fortress as opposed to the previously pictured stately manor.

The plot was fairly straightforward. Batman has been prowling the streets of Gotham for three years. The Joker, a previously unknown villain, breaks into Arkham Asylum and frees most of the inmates. He and Batman tangle but the Joker escapes. Batman tracks down Joker to his lair, but the Joker flees in a hot air balloon filled with Joker gas. Batman catches him, they fight, and Joker ends up back at Arkham, this time as an inmate himself. Meanwhile the Gotham City police are trying to track down this urban legend known as Batman…

I’ll certainly watch The Batman again, but I’m looking forward to the imminent arrival of my Batman the Animated Series DVDs more.

It’s that time of year again: the Pekin Marigold Festival. Pekin, like most mid-west towns, has an annual local festival complete with carnival rides, midway games, greasy foods, and local cover bands. The Marigold Festival also has an impressive Arts & Crafts fair. Being the dutiful husband I am, I escorted the Polite Wife to the craft fair and carried lugged her packages back to the house. At least I got paid in kettle corn (mmmm, kettle corn).

Thank goodness the Marigold Festival is over for this year. Sadly, the next town over is having its Pumpkin Festival next weekend. Then there are festivals scheduled in small town after small town every weekend through Halloween. Will the madness never end?

With the easy availability of DVD players, there has been an explosion in the number of TV series that have been released on DVD. This is good and bad. Good, becuase I can watch shows that I otherwise would probably never see again, such as Dr. Who (mmm…Nyssa), The Ben Stiller Show, Red Dwarf, Black Adder, the Richard Sharpe series, Kindred the Embraced, Firefly, just to name a few. Unfortunately, they’ve really started putting out some schlock recently (which I shall not soil my site by listing. Just browse the aisle at Best Buy and you’ll see what I mean).

Still, there are still some TV series that have been unjustly overlooked and need to be collected and released:

• Pete and Pete
  A brilliantly surreal comedy that used to show on Nickolodeon and is sometimes shown on Noggin (or “the N”) now. I’ve mentioned Pete and Pete before as one of my guilty pleasures.
• Daria
  I never cared for Beavis & Butthead, where the character originated, but Daria was always clever, cynical and funny. Reruns can be caught on Noggin (”the N”) occasionally. There are two special DVDs out (Is It Fall Yet? and Is It College Yet?), but the series as a whole needs to be collected.
• The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.
  A wonderful combination of adventure and comedy, plus a little sci-fi mixed in. There were some truly memorable characters on this show: Brisco, Comet, Lord Boler, Socrates Poole and of course Dixie Cousins.
• WKRP in Cincinnatti
  Repeat after me: “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
• Danger Mouse
  Sarcastic and fun British secret agent cartoon, shown on Nickelodeon a few years ago (well, maybe more than a few).
• St. Elsewhere
  The best medical show ever. Starred an amazing array of talent including William Daniels, Helen Hunt, Ed Begley Jr., Denzel Washington, Ronny Cox, Mark Harmon, Bruce Greenwood and even Howie Mandel (in the only thing I can stand him in).
• Space Above and Beyond
  Compelling science-fiction that was always watchable.

Just like some bloggers are obsessed with certain heroes such as Aquaman, Swamp Thing, and the Atom, I have long found myself fascinated by Hawk and Dove. I’m not sure what it is about them, but I have enjoyed both their original Ditko incarnation and the more recent Kesel version. (There was a similarly named mini-series by Mike Baron in 1997, but it had nothing to do with the original characters, and is in fact a pox upon the fine name of Hawk and Dove).

With the re-emergence of interest in the duo after their appearances on Justice League Unlimited, I thought now would be a good time to look into the history of the twosome. (And give me a good excuse to track down some of those issues of Teen Titans that I’m missing.)

The Hawk and the Dove first appeared in Showcase #75, published in June 1968. As a bit of personal history, I started collecting comics at the beginning of the “Bronze Age” (or whatever you want to call it) and Showcase #75 was the first Silver Age comic I tracked down and bought. It was also the first comic I owned that was older than me. Admittedly, it’s not a great comic, but it sets the stage for what will become one of the most memorable super-hero duos.

In the first panels of the comic, brothers Hank and Don Hall are introduced. Despite being in high school, they are attending a demonstration and counter-demonstration at the local college. Hank is loud, impatient, and a very strident backer of the “might makes right” philosophy. Don, on the other hand, is quieter and more introspective. He believes that peace can always be achieved though compromise and violence is never required. Don also has some of the worst taste in clothes of any hero in the history of comics. The demonstrations erupt into violence and the police arrive to break up the fight. Oblivious to the scuffle around them, Hank and Don continue to argue with each other.

Meanwhile, their father, a local judge, has just sentenced local crime boss Dargo to jail. As Dargo is led away, he swears vengeance on Judge Hall. A short time later, Hank and then Don arrive in their father’s office. The judge scolds them both for having unrealistic world views and not thinking their opinions through. In the midst of the dispute, one of Dargo’s hoods shows up and throws a bomb into the office. Hank and Don escape injury, but the judge is not so lucky. Don stays with him while Hank runs for help. The judge is whisked to the hospital and placed under police protection.

The next afternoon, Don and Hank are on their way to visit their father when they chance across the hood who threw the bomb at them the day before. They trail him to an old warehouse where they sneak in an open window to eavesdrop on him and the rest of the gang. Unfortunately, they accidentally lock themselves in a back room. They overhear the gang plan to shoot their father and realize that they are the only ones who can save him. They try repeatedly to break down the doors but are unable to open them.

Out of nowhere, a strange voice rings out, promising them both power. The voice asks what sort of power they desire. Hank speaks first: “I want the power to break out of here…the power to stop those creeps who are after dad…the powers to smash them…tear them apart so that they’ll never commit crimes again!”; Don envisions power differently: “I want to save father, not smash criminals, let the police handle them!”

The voice speaks again and they are transformed into the Hawk and the Dove. Hank likes his costume, but Don is appalled at his (and rightly so). The voice promises them that they will be able to change back to their normal identities once the danger is past. To turn back into Hawk and Dove, they only need to speak their name when danger is present, and the transformation will occur.

Hawk and Dove break out of the warehouse and race across town to the hospital, arguing the whole time. When they arrive at the hospital, Hawk charges into the gang and immediately begins pounding the crooks. Dove is more tentative, unwilling to join the fight, and gets stunned from behind and thrown out the window. He recovers and re-enters the fray just in time save his father from being shot. He is trying to convince the gunman to give up when Hawk runs in and knocks the crook unconscious. The judge thanks them, and they quickly leave before they change back into Hank and Don.

Returning to their father’s room, they are just in time to hear him denounce Hawk and Dove as criminal vigilantes. Stunned, they leave the room. Hank wants to continue to use their powers to fight crime, but Don just wants to forget the whole idea of silly costumes. They continue arguing as they walk out the hospital, down the street, and to the end of the comic.

An unnecessary text page at the end of the issue spells out the rather obvious themes of the comic. The page restates what any competent person could have deduced for themselves after reading the comic. The creative team is mentioned and then it is announced that The Hawk and The Dove series will be starting the next month.

The art in Showcase #75 was by Steve Ditko, who also co-wrote the issue along with Steve Skeates. Ditko’s contributions to comic books are well known, and the art on this issue is undeniably his. In addition to Showcase #75, Skeates also wrote the first 4 issues of the subsequent The Hawk and The Dove series as well as several issues of the Teen Titans and a few issues of the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents.

Showcase #75 is a good comic. Certainly there are some flaws — such as plot holes that won’t be addressed for years (the mysterious voice) and the frequent instances where the Hawk/Dove Hank/Don War/Peace conflict is a tad overdone. On the bright side, the art is classic Ditko, and the writing manages to avoid the hip teen lingo that was prevalent in other comics of this era. The most important aspect of Showcase #75 is that it sets up the Hawk and the Dove for the years to follow (or at least until Armageddon 2001).

UPDATE: I’ve been able to fix the coding so clicking on an image in the post will bring up a larger image.

There’s a funny new Scutmonkey Comic by Michelle over at the Underwear Drawer. It shows what happens when administrative rules get in the way of common sense. While I’ve never had this exact situation happen to me, I’ve had similar experiences.

I also like her take on In The Shadow of No Towers:

I also stopped by the bookstore today to pick up a copy of “In the Shadow of No Towers,” but then I realized that 1.) the book was huge, the size of an end-table, and 2.) the pages were made of cardboard, so it weighed approximately as much as an end-table as well. And it’s only 42 pages long. Maybe I’ll wait for the paperback edition. Hell, forget paper-back, I want the paper-inside edition.

My first teen-age crush was undoubtedly Nyssa from Doctor Who. Forget all the other pretenders: no Sarah Jane, no Liz, no Ace, no Leela, no Romana, no Teegan. Nyssa was far and away the best companion. Peter Davison was always my favorite Doctor, and Nyssa was probably a large part of that. I managed to meet Sarah Sutton, the actress who played Nyssa, years later at a small science fiction convention in St. Louis during my junior year of college. She was one of the nicest actresses I’ve met. She was pleasant and humorous and she remained very pert and pretty. I got an autographed photgraph from her that day. I t should be around here somewhere, but I haven’t seen it since the move. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen it since the Polite-Wife and I were married. Hmmmm. I haven’t seen my signed photos of Dana Delaney (in China Beach fatigues) or Claudia Christian since then either. Just a coincidence, I’m sure.

Updates on a couple of recent posts and musings:

• I’ve expressed some concern in the past about the latest version of the comic-book collection software Comic Base. Any doubts I had are now erased. The program runs incredibly quickly and smoothly. Part of it is due to a patch that was released last week (version 9.0.3), but most of it was because I finally decided to read the manual and skim the troubleshooting section. I had never compacted my database ever (and I’ve been using some version of Comic Base for about 5 years), and what is now a svelte 162 MB was formerly a hefty 1.3 gigs! The speed increased immediately after I compacted the database.
  An aside to publishers: While it’s fine to include a pdf format version of the manual, please include a paper edition as well. This is especially important if there are substantial changes from a previous version of the program or if it is a guide that will need to be referred to often. If the program costs more than $50, I want paper!

• The 90% House strikes again! This weekend, we came to realize that substantial portions of our house’s interior had not been painted. They’d been plastered with a white plaster, but never painted afterwards. The rooms are fine, but the hallways and utility areas definitely look grungy in comparison. So yesterday the Polite-Wife asked what color we should paint the walls. “White,” I replied.
  “What color white?” she asked, displaying a portfolio containing at least twenty distinct shades of white and other subdued colors.
  “That one: ‘Ultra Pure White’ (which looks suspiciously like ‘Titanium White’).”
  “What about these other colors? How about taupe?”
  “Taupe? That’s fine for pantyhose, but I’m not painting the walls in my house anything remotely beige!”
  Well, I lost that discussion (as I suspected I would), and the walls in the front room are going to be ‘Tuscan Beige’, but at least the hallways will be painted ‘Decorator White’.

• Now You Can “Name That Diagnosis!™ “: A patient called the clinic yesterday, complaining that she just couldn’t stop eating ice. She said she was eating it so much, it was hurting her teeth and ruining her appetite. She called wanting us to check her blood sugar and wanting to know if anything could be done about this. What diagnosis does she have? (hint.)
  

  ANSWER: PICA.

• I finally received my Batman the Animated Series DVDs yesterday. I watched the first couple of episodes while unpacking some other boxes (see below). The art from the first season is a little crude compared to later seasons, but the cleverness of the stories shine through. 12 years later, they’re still better than 99% of what’s on TV. The Polite-Wife enjoyed the first episode even more than I did because she had never seen Man-Bat before, so didn’t know which of the scientists it was and could enjoy the mystery.

• Political Machine came in the mail yesterday from ebworld.com. I haven’t have time to install it yet, but I plan on sitting down with it today.

• I also received my monthly box of comics yesterday. Girl Genius was hopelessly mangled. Some of it is due to poor packing, but a lot of it is due to the non-standard size of Girl Genius. What’s the point of this? It’s not big enough to significantly enhance the art, but big enough to be dificult storing. Just ask Barry Windsor-Smith about non-standard sized comics.

A few months after their first appearance in Showcase #75, the Hawk and the Dove got their own series (the eponymous The Hawk and The Dove). First published in August/September 1968, it ran for a total of six bimonthly issues. The writing on this first issue was handled by Steve Skeates while Steve Ditko took care of the art.

No character emerges unscathed from this issue. Don is a worrywart and ultimately breaks his vow never to become Dove again (admittedly, he does to save Hawk). Hank is impulsive, single-minded and violent. Ironically their father, Judge Hall, shows his stubbornness and inability to compromise when it comes to Hawk and Dove – the same traits he criticizes in his sons.

We are allowed a peek into the thoughts of the brothers. Don is the epitome of the angst-ridden hero. He worries about everyone: himself, Hank, their father, the crowd and even the criminals. Hank’s thinking is more concrete: become the best Hawk he can in order to stop criminals. Ultimately, Don comes out ahead in this issue as he is willing to compromise some of his beliefs in order to save his brother, though neither of them would ever admit it happened that way.

The story begins shortly after the events of Showcase #75. Hank remains interested in becoming Hawk to fight crime, but Don does not want to become Dove again for fear of becoming a social outcast (not that he was Mr. Popular to begin with).

Hank, Don and their father are in the midst of a crowd when a multi-colored gang of thieves known as the Dropouts attack. Hank demands Don become Dove and help him capture the criminals. Don declines, so Hank decides to stop them all by himself. In a secluded hallway, he changes into Hawk then charges into the room and starts brawling with the crooks. He puts up a good fight, but is outnumbered and takes a beating. Several innocent bystanders are injured in the melee as well. Don spends the whole fight concerned. He’s not anxious for his brother’s safety, but instead worried that Hawk will screw up and embarrass him and their father.

After the brawl, Judge Hall is interviewed by reporters and soundly criticizes Hawk for his illegal vigilante activities. His words polarize the town. Half of the public feel that Hawk is right and the Judge is wrong, while the other half feel the Judge is right but they are too pacifistic to say anything (I’m not making this up). Hank, of course, always seems to encounter his father’s supporters, while Don is surrounded by his detractors.

Hank decides that he didn’t fight well as Hawk because he is not strong enough as Hank. He begins to obsessively work out and lift weights. Meanwhile Don attends an art show at the local college. The Dropouts burglarize the show while he is there and he finds himself faced with a dilemma: should he change into Dove and stop the thieves? Ultimately he chooses not to become Dove and lets the crooks escape, rationalizing this by saying that the police will catch them soon enough.

Several days pass, and Hank has somehow managed to find discarded costumes that lead him to the gang’s hideout. Worried that his brother will get seriously hurt fighting the Dropouts, Don engages in some Spider-Man-esque fretting, reasoning that if he had helped Hawk capture the Dropouts in the first place, then nobody would have gotten hurt. Deciding that Hawk needs his help, Don uses deductive reasoning (and an old girlfriend of the head thief) to locate the gang. He arrives just in time to see Hawk staggering under their blows. Dove enters the fray and begins to fight the Dropouts. However, he refrains from using violence, instead using his powers to tire and confuse the crooks. Hawk gets his second wind and the duo manage to capture the entire gang and escape just before the police arrive. Hawk, of course, takes all the credit, saying that he didn’t need Dove’s help. The pair continues to argue all the way back home and late into the night.

NOTES:
1. For their original appearance in Showcase #75 and for the length of this series, the pair is referred to as “The Hawk” and “The Dove”. Ultimately, this is shortened just to Hawk and Dove.
2. Despite this being only their second appearance, Hawk and Dove seem fairly well known already. In the first scene, one of the crooks shouts “It’s the Hawk!” when he appears. Later in the book, when Dove shows up, the crooks know who he is and already know that he’s (in their words) “a push-over.”
3. A big deal is made in this issue of the Dropouts trying to convince the public that they are college students (as opposed to the ordinary thieves that they are). I think this is mostly a relic of the turbulent times this comic was written in, when many people considered college students little better than hippies.
4. This is the first mention of the fact that their costumes cannot be removed while they are Hawk and Dove. This is explained away as “magic” at this point.
5. Though Don may triumph in the end of this issue, the views he represents are never taken seriously. The logo on the cover shows Hank shouting but shows Don meekly looking down and away. While Hank’s aggressive views are criticized, Don’s pacifistic views are ridiculed – by both characters and narration. The crooks are afraid of Hawk (initially anyway), but regard Dove as a “push-over”.

The Polite-Wife and I are throwing our 2nd-Annual Fall Party for the office on Saturday night. There will be good music, grilled food (chicken souvlaki and Portugese beef skewers), crunchy snacks, tasty desserts and beverages — each more potent than the last. There may even be blackmail-worthy photographs by the time the night is over.

(In making up the flyer advertising the party, I was looking for an image that said both “comic book” and “party”. In particular, I was looking for comic book covers featuring recognizable characters. The best I could come up with on the spur of the moment was JSA #54 (and the more I look at it, the more I’m convinced that Superman is sneaking a peek down at the Power cleavage). Can anybody give me a better suggestion for next year’s party?

(The only other one I could think of was New Titans #71, and that doesn’t exactly scream “successful party” now, does it?)

How well do you know your comic-book drugs? Below are listed 14 drugs mentioned in comic books — most are recent, a couple are Silver Age or Golden Age. Can you name what series each drug is from?

DRUG	ANSWER:
MGH	Mutant Growth Hormone; most recently seen in Daredevil where it was sold by the Owl’s organization. Gives normal humans temporary mutant powers.
Steroid A39	The mutagenic steroid which blinded Dr. Pietr Cross yet also gave him his powers allowing him to become Dr. Mid-Nite. (Dr. Mid-Nite miniseries)
Toad Juice	Addictive drug from Mutant Town (District X).
Plasmagoria	Illegal drug manufactured by Pharm-Tech (Bite Club).
Xenite	Addictive drug from Top Ten.
“Red”, “White”	Nuke’s medications from Daredevil #230, #231 and #232.
Oz	Drug developed by Osborn Industries that indirectly gave Peter Parker his powers (Ultimate Spider-Man).
Acetovaxidol (AVX)	The steroid/narcotic drug that gives the Anti-Cap his strength (Captain America & the Falcon).
Kick	Mutant power enhancing drug from Grant Morrison’s run on the New X-Men
Miraclo	Developed by Rex Tyler; the drug that gives Hourman his powers. (First seen in Adventure Comics #48).
ISO-36	The serum which can cure Aunt May’s radiation sickness (Amazing Spider-Man #32-33).
Cordrazine	Trick question! This is the drug Dr. McCoy accidentally injected himself with in Star Trek’s City on the Edge of Forever.
Hyperdrene	Street drug from Top Ten; causes fairies.
Soul	Drug in Batgirl that wll either makes you an angel or a devil…

The Hawk and The Dove #2, “Jailbreak” was published in October/November 1968. Once again, the art is by Steve Ditko and the story by Steven Skeates.

The issue starts out with Harker, a particularly unrepentant criminal, planning an escape from jail. We know he’s unrepentant because he starts a fight in the cellblock just because he got denied parole (imagine that). He coerces his pal Davis and several other inmates into joining his plans for escape.

Meanwhile, the Hall family is leaving to visit Uncle James, who lives on a farm in the country (inauspiciously close to a jail, as coincidence would have it). Once at the farm, Hank, his father and uncle go for a drive in the woods while Don and his mother stay behind in the farmhouse.

The jailbreak occurs! The convicts commandeer a truck and drive off. Halfway into the woods, Harker and Davis kick the other convicts out of the truck to slow down any pursuit and speed off down the road.

The remaining cons cause a rockslide (in the middle of the forest?) trapping the Hall’s car. Menacingly, they surround Hank and his family. Suddenly, another escapee runs up shouting that the police are coming and all the convicts scatter into the forest. In reality there aren’t any police; it was just a repentant escapee scaring the others off. Knowing he can’t change into Hawk in front of the others, Hank dashes into the woods telling his father that he’s running back to the cabin to check on Don and their mother.

Meanwhile, the truck Harker and Davis stole runs out of gas. The pair enters the farmhouse where Don and his mother are staying and begin to slap her around. Don won’t fight back, but he doesn’t run away either. Arriving at the cabin, Hank looks in the window and sees what is happening. He changes into Hawk but doesn’t want to charge into the cabin out of fear that his mother might get shot. Instead he tries to attract Don’s attention. Don sees Hawk but ignores him, convinced that he will just worsen an already tense situation. Realizing that Don won’t help, Hawk tries to draw out the convicts by driving away in the car sitting in the driveway. Infuriated, Harker and Davis run outside after him. Don follows them outside and changes into Dove.

Hawk tackles Davis and pounds him unconscious even though the con repeatedly tries to surrender. Returning to the farmhouse, he encounters the convicts from earlier and beats them all senseless as well. Not far away, Harker is shooting at Dove who keeps exhorting him to give up (“His constant whining…driving me crazy!”). Running out of ammunition, Harker tells Dove he is ready to surrender. Dove congratulates him for making the right decision, unaware that it is only a feint and Harker begins punching Dove as soon as he is close enough.

Hawk arrives while the two struggle and cheers both combatants on. First, he roots for Dove, but then realizing that Dove isn’t fighting back, he starts rooting for Harker. He figures he’ll take Harker out himself once Dove is incapacitated. Finally, Dove pulls Harker’s shirt over his head, incapacitating him (but earning two minutes in the penalty box).

As he helps Don to his feet, Hank tells him, “Yeah you got guts all right! But you sure haven’t got any brains.” That’s as close to endearment as Hank ever gets.

Notes:

• This is Ditko’s last issue as artist on The Hawk and the Dove and he does an outstanding job. His action scenes are dynamic and captivating, providing a true sense of motion. His splash page in incredible, with a hawk and a dove framing a jailhouse brawl, while lady justice looks down from above. Unfortunately, the otherwise splendid art is marred by some of the ugliest lettering ever seen in a comic book. The word and thought balloons are all blocky, square and awkwardly placed; they distract the eye and obscure the art.
• The ad for a Revell model of a whaling ship, the Charles W. Morgan, caught my eye. “When the Charles W. Morgan went whaling, she went whaling with a vengeance,” states the ad copy. “On her maiden voyage alone, she killed 61 whales.” Somehow, I don’t see this ad running in today’s comic books (especially from the company that published Superman for the Animals.)
• The most intriguing character in this issue is the “reluctant escapee”. He is a convict who just wants to serve his time and return to society, yet he gets forced into escaping with the rest. He is the one who saves the Halls when they are surrounded in the woods.
  I’m no expert on Ditko, but this character strikes me as rather grey in Ditko’s strict black and white interpretation of the world. It’s interesting that Judge Hall also shows some compassion towards this criminal, which presents a stark contrast to the way he lectured a similar character about crime and punishment in the beginning of the issue.
• As I stated above, I am not a Ditko expert. However, from all that I’ve read, it seems apparent that Judge Hall is the character written to reflect Ditko’s philosophies.

I was pleased to see that the recent PvP #7 included an essay in the back by famed conjuror and hoax-debunker James Randi. A large part of the issue dealt with the PvP gang attending one of the tapings of Crossing Over with John Edward (that is John Edward the alleged “psychic” who can “talk” to dead people, not John Edwards the vice-presidential candidate).

In addition to the essay on cold reading, the issue also includes a copy of the contract for Randi’s “Million-Dollar Challenge”.

I’ve been a fan of James Randi since watching one of his hoax-busting channels on Nova several years ago. While we have our differences of opinion (religion, mostly), his organization (the JREF) is a very worthwhile cause. Their site is definitely worth a visit. (You’ll notice it’s been on my sidebar since the day this blog started).

Our Fall Party is a success and still going strong. The chicken souvlaki and madeira beef skewers were both a hit. My blue margaritas, as always, were popular. Currently, there are a handful of inebriated nurses and medical assistants in my living room singing songs from the 80s. I think I read about something like this in Dante’s Inferno.

Thank God we only throw this party once a year…

Ahoy Mateys! Jimmy the Long here…don’t fergit that today be Talk Like a Pirate Day! Methinks it would be a good time to relax in the sun, chug some grog, and sing a few sea shanties. Or watch NASCAR and the Justice League I missed last night. Whatever.

• Talk Like A Pirate Day Official Website
• Git yer own pirate name, ya’ land lubbers! Pirate Name Generator
• Methinks the Truth be Out There: Pirate and Privateer Legends!
• Avast! That bilge rat Steven don’t like folks to be talking like a pirate! Tho’ he do be makin’ allowances for Talk Like a Pirate Day, and has a nifty portrait of one o’ me cousins on his site.
• Some comic-book pirates (and pirate comic books) off the top of me head (to be updated as I think of more):
  • Crossbones
  • The Psycho Pirate
  • Occulus from Fantastic Four
  • And in the Fantastic Four’s first encounter with Dr. Doom (FF #5), The Thing ended up becoming Blackbeard.
  • Pirate Club
  • The evil pirates from My Monkey’s Name is Jennifer
  • The Starjammers
  • Scurvy Dogs
  • El Cazador
  • Long John Silver and the Pirates (Charlton comic from the 1950s)
  • Belit (and Conan, for a time) from the Conan comics (older Marvel volumes)
  • The Black Pirate appeared in some of the 1940s issues of Action Comics
  • There was the pirate comic-within-a-comic in Watchmen (Tales of Black Freighter, I think)
  • Buccaneers from the 1950s
  • The similarly named Buccaneer, also from the 1950s
  • The Golden Medallion, a pirate comic book put out by LEGO
  • Terry and the Pirates. Sure it was a comic strip, but it’s been reprinted in comic book form several times
  • Even Mickey Mouse is getting in on the act: Air Pirates Funnies
  • Speaking of Disney, we can’t forget air pirate Don Carnage from Talespin
  • Pirates appeares in at least one Spirit story
  • EC’s Piracy
  • Indiana Jones and the Sargasso Pirates
  • Some pirates appeared (briefly, before being slaughtered) in Grendel: War Child #4

Another fun episode of Justice League Unlimited (for those of you who miss it Saturday night, Cartoon Network replays it Sunday at 4PM central time). It’s nice to see continuity in the episodes, as this one plays off of 2 previous episodes and sets the stage for future episodes…it seems.

• Some good thoughts:
  • The Green Lantern Corps. Killowog — looking good as always. Nice to see Kyle Rayner (voiced By Will Friedle, late of Batman Beyond and Boy Meets World) — and I will admit that I am one of the three people who actually prefers Kyle Rayner. On the other hand, there is no doubt that the Green Lantern with the highest cool factor — hands down — is the cartoon John Stewart. Especially now that he’s sporting that Avery Brooks hairstyle. Still I was waiting for G’Nort or at least Ch’pp.
  • Dr. Fate. Nice tower.
  • The Prince Grayven Starman…an unexpected choice for Starman.
  • Excellent last minute reveal.
• The huh?
  • Who exactly flies the Justice League javelins? I sure hope they’re paid a lot.
  • I can understand the “needs of the many outweight the needs of the few” credo, so I can understand why some of the Earth would have to be sacrificed to save the rest (with the Green Lanterns’ last ditch plan). But why not just hand Luthor over? Certainly his life is worth less than half the planet…
  • Why is Superman the only one in a spacesuit? Certainly he’s able to withstand space better than, say, Dr. Light.
  • So after Superman, Captain Atom, and Rocket Red fail — Jonn send Ice in?? Nice little cut-out on her costume though…I don’t remember that from her comic book outfit.

UPDATE (20 Sep 04): I forgot to mention the Trek-worthy technobabble from Atom and Lex: “Heisenberg Compensator”. Actually, that is technobabble straight from ST:TNG; Geordi used that phrase many times.

This game for the X-Box is the perfect video game guilt pleasure. First of all, the graphics are superb. Watch the smoke undulate or the water ripple and be awed. The game play is addictive; the game plays like a cross between Diablo and the original Gauntlet. Up to four people can play at once and remember, the family that plays together, stays together. Best of all, it includes all the great classic AD&D monsters I’ve always loved: Yuan-Ti, Mind Flayers, a Beholder and a Bulette! When’s the last time you saw a bulette?

All this, and it was only $6 on e-Bay!

The Hawk and the Dove #3 is a change from previous issues. First of all, Steve Ditko is no longer doing the art; the book is now drawn by Gil Kane. Second, the comic is composed of two half-length stories rather than one full-length tale. In spite of these changes, or because of them, this is the best issue of The Hawk and The Dove so far.

The first story, “After the Cat”, opens with news of daring new cat burglar prowling the town of Elmond (named the Cat, of course). Hank is determined to catch the thief, even though it means sacrificing his schoolwork. Don’s plans are less heroic; he’s going to head over to the coffee house for some excitement. (Yep, he’s Mr. Excitement all right: “Maybe I should’ve gone to the library! This place is dead!”)

Hank manages to track down the Cat at an exclusive high rise. He changes into the Hawk and follows the burglar through a penthouse window. The two of them have a knockdown drag-out brawl and manage to completely trash the victim’s apartment. The Cat escapes, but when the homeowner stumbles into the room, Hawk is still there – but quickly escapes out the window himself.

At the coffee house, Don sees a couple of pretty girls he knows but two bikers prevent him from talking to them. The girls blow the bikers off and they leave without incident…for now. Hank enters the coffee house just as the bikers come back. This time they pick on Hank who promptly slugs them. Don yells at Hank for starting a fight, but Linda intervenes calling Don a coward.

Angry, Don stalks out determined to prove that he’s no coward by capturing the Cat. He changes into Dove and stumbles across the police who have the Cat surrounded in an abandoned building. Seeing the police aiming a gun at the thief, Dove leaps in and pulls the gun away just as they are about to fire. Unfortunately, it’s a tear gas gun and Dove’s actions cause the police to gas themselves. Escaping in the confusion, the Cat is later gunned down by the police. Don blames himself for the Cat being shot. Discouraged, he slinks back to the coffeehouse just in time to see Hank leave with Linda. Not a good night for Don or Dove; Hank may have done OK with Linda, but Hawk screwed up pretty bad as well.

The second story, “Twice Burned”, picks up the following morning. Hawk and Dove are in disgrace (“Hawk Accussed [sic] of Vandalism!” reads one headline, “Dove Interferes with Police” reads another). Judge Hall begins another tirade against the pair before heading off to court. Another news story mentions that Dr. Kieves, Linda’s father, was severely beaten the night before. Separately, both Hank and Don decide to catch the criminals responsible.

Based on the description of the crooks, Hank feels he knows who the culprits are. He tracks them down as Hawk and punches them until they tell him who hired them to beat up Dr. Kieves. Meanwhile, Don runs into Linda’s brother Mark at the coffeehouse. He is clearly upset and vows he is going to track down whoever is responsible. Don then runs into Linda who explains that her dad owes one of the local loan sharks a great deal of money, and that’s who she thinks is responsible. She hoped to catch her brother before he did anything stupid. Don tells her he’ll take care of him.

Don arrives at the loan shark’s house and sees Mark there, holding a gun. He tries to persuade him to go home, but Mark believes that Dove is just protecting the man who had his father shot. Having a hard time restraining Mark without violence, Don is just about to punch him when the police arrive to arrest the crook. Hank swings by a short time later, but the excitement is all over by then. Don realizes that he was about to hit an innocent man and more dejected than ever he walks off into the night.

Graphically, this is the best appearance of The Hawk and the Dove yet. Kane’s art tends more toward the dramatic than Ditko’s. His pencils are stronger and less tentative than Ditko’s sometime appeared, but that could be the inking. Kane actually makes Dove’s costume believable (though not much can be down for Hawk’s). His fight scenes are exciting and frequently break the panels. The transformation scenes are eye-catching. He does an excellent job of varying the views and angles to give a more interesting look to the art.

This is the best written issue yet as well. The stories are more believable and not as dependant on coincidence. In order to make up for his perceived personal shortcomings, Don becomes Dove but only succeeds in making things worse for himself. Hank does a little better, but Hawk still fails to catch the criminals. The situations are well plotted and believable. Overall, it reads more like a classic Amazing Spider-Man story than a DC comic.

Notes:

1. Exactly how many newspapers does “small town” Elmond need? I count eight different papers on the splash page (Morning Times-Star, Herald-Bee, Daily Clarion Bugle, World-Press; the rest have obscured names).
2. Despite being costumed heroes with super-powers, Hawk and Dove have yet to tangle with any super-powered villains. The Dropouts (from The Hawk and the Dove #1) and the Cat (from this issue) all wear costumes, but none of them have super-powers.
3. No bow-ties for Don this issue. He’s wearing a regular coat and tie. Though apparently he only owns one blue suit coat and a yellow tie, because he wears them in both stories.
4. The word balloons are much better this issue, though still blockier than they should be.
5. This issue’s pick for best ad: “Captain Action and Action Boy meet Dr. Evil.” First,I can only assume that Ideal’s trademark on Dr. Evil ran out before Austin Powers came along. This Dr. Evil just happens to be an evil alien from Alpha Centaura (no, not “centauri”): “Get Dr. Evil…Alien from Alpha Centaura! He comes with disguises to hide his evil deeds…he comes with evil outfit and evil,evil things!” How many times can you use the word evil without it becoming redundant? I also had to love Action Boy (”comes with helmet, knife, ray gun and panther”). Because that’s just what every teen-age side-kick needs, a helmet left over from Captain Video and a giant cat. For all you trivia buffs out there, Captain Action not just a toy but also a comic book published by DC at the same time as The Hawk and the Dove.

So there I was, wasting time by flipping through the latest Entertainment Weekly looking for some good celebrity gossip when I came across a picture of none-other than Dr. Mid-Nite (the original!). The good doctor is mentioned as an inspiration in a brief article explaining where some of the costume designs for Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow originated.

Admitting he has a thing for goggles [costume designer Kevin] Conran incorporated the eyewear into the cape of baddie Mysterious Woman (Bai Ling). “There was this character in the silver age [sic] of comics called Dr. Mid-Nite. He was blind and always wore these goggles that looked really cool.”

I’ve developed a bad habit of screaming at the TV when something insultingly stupid comes on. Usually it’s a pharmaceutical ad or a newscaster misuing the word ‘unique.’ Recently, I’ve found myself venting at asinine commercials more and more frequently. My latest victim: an ad for a thick liquid drain cleaner (Drano Gel, I think — see, the commercial didn’t even work!).

A husband and wife (or boyfriend/girlfriend or brother/sister — here at Polite Dissent, we don’t judge) are staring down at a clogged sink in their bathroom. The husband is holding a bottle of Brand X drain liquid. The wife looks at him and says, “Why are you using that stuff? It’s as thin as water…it just runs down the pipes.”

At which point I start screaming at the TV: “No — it won’t run down the pipes. The drain is clogged! That’s why you’re using a liquid drain cleaner in the first place!!”

Sigh.

(Point number two: It’s also never a good idea to insult someone holding a caustic substance…)

Just a couple quick thoughts on some of the titles that I caught up on reading today (yes, I know I’m way behind):

Fantastic Four - Overall, I’ve been a pretty big fan of Mark Waid but I’ve been mostly unimpressed by his run on the FF, including his much vaunted “re-imagining” of Dr. Doom. The art though, that is nice. Despite some of the weak storylines, Mike Wieringo does a wonderful job on the art — I can think of few people who can draw the Thing or the Invisible Woman better. His Franklin and Valeria are tops too.

Plastic Man – While I generally enjoyed the first story arc, I thought it went on at least two issues two long. I’m loving this latest storyline though. Abraham Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth and the Time Trapper. What more could you want?

Excalibur - So the concept for the series is laid out at the end of issue four. Isn’t that three issues too late?

Witchblade - It’s like watching a bad movie made with a super-model (or Goddess of Love, with Vanna White). Dialogue. Pose. More dialogue, another pose. Lather, rinse, repeat. I can just hear a photographer in the background shouting, “work with me, work with me! Now like a tiger! Grr! Good!” Sadly, it’s not even good cheesecake art with proportions out of whack and limbs at weird angles.

It’s been a busy week at the office so far. We’re having the usual rush of September “new-school-year-itis” where kids are having a hard time going back to school. Then there’s the actual sicknesses going around the first few weeks of school: the strep throat, the mono, the rotavirus. And then there’s allergies. It’s harvest season here, and that mean allergies are in full swing and everybody is coming in with itchy watery eyes and itchy watery noses.

Here’s a couple of interesting patients that have cropped up since Monday:

1. Leaves of Three, Let it Be. A mother brought in her two sons, aged 12 and 14. They had been doing some yard work over the weekend and stumbled across a patch of poison ivy. Instead of avoiding it or cutting it down, they had a fight with it. They were rolling around in the ivy, trying to rub it in each other’s faces. It’s now two days later, and they’re sitting in one of my exam rooms, eyes nearly swollen shut and a weeping red rash over most of the body.
   I prescribe some topical and oral steroids to reduce the inflammation.
   Mom wants me to give them a shot too. I point out that with the pills and cream they won’t need a shot.
   “I know,” she tells me. “I just feel they’d benefit from a shot as well.” There’s a definite gleam in her eye.
   “I’ll get the nurse.”
2. Denial is a powerful force. A middle-aged man comes in to see me mildly concerned about some chest pain that he’s been having. He describes is as crushing chest pain with radiation down the left arm that comes on with activity. This definitely sounds like it;s the heart.
   “We’re going to need to get you in for an exercise stress test right away,” I tell him.
   “Are you saying it’s my heart, doc?”
   “Yes. It’s most likely your heart and that’s why we need this stress test as soon as possible.”
   “There’s no chance it could be something else?”
   “Well, I guess there’s a small chance it could be a pneumonia of some sort.”
   “OK, that’s better. How do we treat this pneumonia?”
   “Hold on! I didn’t say that it was pneumonia; the odds are that it’s your heart. What I said was that if you squint your eyes just right and ignore all the obvious signs, it might just possibly be pneumonia.”
   “So how do we treat this pneumonia?”
3. Hope Springs Eternal. A sixty-eight year-old man came in for a check-up for his high blood pressure. He also asked me if we had any samples of Viagra.
   “Just don’t tell my wife,” he added. I give him a puzzled look.
   “Well, it’s not really for her. See, there’s this real cute young thing down at the filling station and I think I got a shot with her.”
4. Generally you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. A late night phone call from a patient’s wife:
   “Doctor, I’m worried about my husband. He thinks the air conditioner is talking to him. Is that normal?”
   “No, that’s definitely not normal. Why don’t you take him to the ER for evaluation.”
   “Are you sure? You think it could be serious?”
   “Trust me ma’am. Just take him to the ER.”

Demo #9 is the latest in the black and white series by Brian Wood and Becky Cloonan. This issue tells the story of Angie and Gabe, a couple breaking up in a coffee shop. Through flashbacks, the reader is able to relive their first date and their loving moments as well as their fights and misunderstandings. However, for Gabe, these are more than simple recollections — they are indelible memories. He never forgets a conversation. Until the day he dies, he’ll remember all the good times. Unfortunately, he’ll also remember all the bad times. These memories won’t fade over the years. The comic is essentially a single well-realized and well-written break-up scene, but when one considers the ramifications of Gabe’s ability, it adds an extra layer to the story. As usual, the art by Cloonan is striking and she does an excellent job of rendering emotions through the eyes alone.

In many ways, the Demo #9 reminds me of an excellent short story by Robert Silverberg called “The Man Who Never Forgot”. Like Gabe, Tom Niles has an incredible memory. Unlike Gabe who only remembers conversations, Tom remembers absolutely everything. His abilities lead him to an unhappy childhood where he is always unintentionally showing up other people. When he becomes older and starts catching people in lies, he knows it is time to leave. He runs away, but his life on the road is not much better. Eventually, he wanders back to his home town where an accident lands him in the hospital and he has to decide what to do with the rest of his life. This story has been published in several collections.

“The Man Who Never Forgot” is one of eleven masterful stories in the 1974 hardbound collection Mutants. The book contains many superb stories including a reprint of Poul Anderson’s first story (“Tomorrow’s Children”) as well as tales by Harlan Ellison, James Blish, Ralph Milne Farley and Brian Aldiss. I haven’t read the book for years, but several stories still remain bright in my mind. “The Conqueror”, by Mark Clifton, is about a mutant Dahlia that takes over the world in a most unexpected way. Frederick Pohl’s “Let the Ants Try” takes place after a nuclear war, when two scientists take a mutant ant back through time to see if ants can build a better society than mankind. Finally, there’s Jerome Bixby’s “It’s A Good Life”, which was turned into one of the most haunting Twilight Zone episodes ever. If you ever run across this collection in a used book store, Amazon, or on e-Bay I recommend that you pick it up.

War Games, Act One, parts 1-8
Detective Comics #797, Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #182, Nightwing #96, Batman: Gotham Knights #56 , Robin #129, Batgirl #55, Catwoman #34, Batman #631

In War Games, a meeting between gang bosses has gone awry and the various gangs are hunting each other across the streets of Gotham City. The first five issues of the series were good, building momentum that lasted through Robin. Unfortunately, the story momentum faltered during the Batgirl and Catwoman issues, and by the time the story returned to the high school siege in the final part, it was almost too late to salvage the storyline.

Given the gang war scenario, much of the Act One storyline dealt at least indirectly with medical care ( and trauma care in particular).

Realizing the potential scale of the medical needs of the gang war (Detective Comics #797), Dr. Leslie Thompkins tells her assistants to call in all her favors and order “all the plasma and whole blood anyone can supply”.

• Having extra blood on hand makes good sense, but whole blood is rarely used when packed red blood cells are available. Fluid overload is a significant concern with whole blood and there is a greater chance of transfusion reactions when whole blood is given. Packed red cells are the best choice.
• I know I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again: plasma is not used for traumas; its use is limited to patients with clotting disorders.
• On the positive side, it’s nice to see that at least one penciler (Pete Woods, in this case) knows how to draw a nasal cannula correctly.

Later, when Nightwing visits the Thompkins clinic (in Nightwing #96), this bizarre exchange occurs:

Nurse: “Dr. Thompkins, we’ve got four new penetrating traumas and we’re out of cervical collars.”
Dr. Thompkins: “Exsanguinated?”

Exsanguinated is the past tense of exsanguinate, which means to drain of blood. So Dr. Thompkins is asking if the patients were drained of blood. Since this isn’t a vampire flick, that really doesn’t make any sense. I can see her asking if they are bleeding or were bleeding (especially given the penetrating trauma), but not if they were drained of blood. I chalk this one up to the writer (Devin Grayson) incorrectly using a big medical-sounding word. (Or maybe the vampire crime family from Bite Club has moved to Gotham City.)

In Robin #129, Tim Drake and his friends are caught in the crossfire when several different gangs try to abduct their classmate Darla.

• When his friend Jimmy is shot in the leg, Tim correctly tells a bystander how to place direct pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding. He reassures Jimmy, though he should have been more concerned about the fact that he was slipping into shock (“Tim? I feel cold.”).
• Tim does an excellent job of calming potential panic among bystanders and directing them to call 911.
• Later in the issue when Darla is shot, Tim immediately begins performing CPR on her. He is using the correct ratio of 15 compressions to 2 breaths. However, his first concern should be whether Darla even needs CPR. She was shot in the right shoulder/upper back. Based on anatomy, she may have a lacerated subclavian artery (and/or subclavian vein) and a lung injury. The heart was not injured, so the only reason it would stop beating would be lack of blood. Tim needs to stop Darla’s bleeding first and then worry about rescue breathing and chest compressions.

In Catwoman #24, a neighborhood child is shot and Selina brings the patient in to Dr. Thompkins. Thompkins chides her about moving the injured child. As a general rule, it is best not to move an injured patient. If the spine or spinal cord is injured, moving the patient has a chance of worsening the injury. In some other situations (such as a pelvic fracture), moving the patient may increase the bleeding. There are certainly occasions where the patient needs to be moved immediately (a burning car or building, for instance), but this doesn’t seem to be one of them. On the other hand, it’s never mentioned where the child was shot, so it may have been safe to move him after all.

Finally, in the conclusion to War Games Act One (Batman #631), Tim has managed to move Darla to the nurse’s office where the nurse is putting direct pressure on the still bleeding wound (no CPR this time – good!). If Darla’s still bleeding that bad after all this time, it’s definitely not a good sign. According to the nurse she keeps slipping in and out of consciousness which is consistent with shock and the amount of blood she’s lost. It’s really no surpires when she ends up dying of her wound.

H of the Comic Treadmill wanted to know the S.C.R.U.B.S. score for War Games. For those of you who don’t remember, S.C.R.U.B.S. is a numerical system designed to quickly indicate how likely a particular Batman storyline is to be bad. The higher the number, the more likely that it’s a bad story. Just remember, you asked for this…

Rules of Engagement

1. Basic S.C.R.U.B.S. scoring is used (as of Act One, no Advanced S.C.R.U.B.S. modifiers apply…yet)
2. As this is a 25-part crossover, each comic has a starting score of 13
3. A character’s appearance in their own book does not count against the book (For example, Nightwing appearing in Nightwing is not worth S.C.R.U.B.S. points)
4. All secondary characters play substantial roles, so their reduced point value is used (for example Batgirl is +3 instead of her normal +5). The exception to this is the Spoiler who only has a peripheral role in Act One so is still worth her full +6 points (the exception to the exception is that she plays a major role in Batman: The 12? Adventure, so is only +3 there).
5. The Tarantula is counted as equal in annoyance to Batgirl, Spoiler and Orpheus and as such is worth +5/ +3 (your mileage may vary).
6. Each gang is counted as a villain, not each person in the gang. There are eleven gangs total, but not each gang appears in each issue. Also, Orpheus’s gang is not counted as a villain and nor are the Latin Unifieds once the Tarantula takes control of them. (The stories get confusing sometimes, so I may have lost a gang or two somehwere along the way)

The scores:

• Batman: The 12? Adventure
  13 + Spoiler (+3) + Catwoman (+2) + Orpheus (+3) + Nightwing (+1) + Tarantula (+3) + 11 gangs (+9) + Kobra (+1) = 35
• Detective Comics #797
  13 + Oracle (+1) + Orpheus (+3) + Batgirl (+3) + 5 gangs (+3) = 23
• Legends of the Dark Knight #182
  13 + Orpheus (+3) + Oracle (+1) + Batgirl (+3) + 3 gangs (+1) = 21
• Nightwing #96
  13 + Nightwing (0) + Oracle (+1) + Tim Drake (+1) + Tarantula (+3) + 2 gangs (0) = 18
• Batman: Gotham Knights #56
  13 + Oracle (+1) + Nightwing (+1) + Batgirl (+3) + Tarantula (+3) + 6 Gangs (+4) + Hush (+1) + Prometheus (+1) = 27
• Robin #129
  13 + Tim Drake (0) + 2 gangs (0) = 13
• Batgirl #55
  13 + Batgirl (0) + Oracle (+1) + Spoiler (+6) + 1 gang (0) = 20
• Catwoman#34
  13 + Catwoman (0) + Spoiler (+6) + 1 gang (0) + Mr. Freeze (0) = 19
• Batman #631
  13 + Tim Drake (+1) + Oracle (+1) + Nightwing (+1) + Batgirl (+3) + 6 gangs (+4) = 23
• War Games Act One (as a whole)
  13 + Oracle (+1) + Tim Drake (+1) + Nightwing (+1) + Batgirl (+3) + Catwoman (+2) + Orpheus (+3) + Tarantula (+3) + Spoiler (+6) + 9 gangs (+7) + Kobra (+1) + Hush (+1) + Prometheus (+1) = 43

We just got back from an afternoon showing of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Good flick; it’s everything I hoped it would be. It’s a fun movie that easily kept our attention for the entire two hours. The film perfectly captures the flavor of the science fiction pulps of the 1930s down to the design of the costumes, ships and robots. Sure, the characters are a tad bit two-dimensional, but name me one pulp character that wasn’t. Go on, I’m waiting.

The cinematography is spectacular and has to be seen to be believed. There are some brilliant shots and the muted palette captures the sepia flavor of old photographs. Both Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow are good fits for their roles, but Giovanni Ribisi as Dex steals the show (and he’s a comic book fan, to boot). Even Angelina Jolie didn’t irritate me like she usually does. For all you comic fans, I’ll say just one more word: helicarrier.

My dad is a big fan of the pulp stories, and one of my favorite books of his was 2000 A.D: Illustrations from the Golden Age of Science Fiction Pulps. It was an oversized paperback that reprinted hundred of covers and interior illustrations from the best science fiction pulps. I used to spend hours poring over those pictures. This movie brings those illustrations to life. I swear those tentacle-armed robots are taken directly from this book.

The ornithopters flown by the villains were a clever touch. Ornithopters are airplanes that move by flapping their wings, and they used to be featured frequently in classic science fiction tales. Several more contemporary authors have used them in their stories as well, particularly Michael Moorcock, Frank Herbert and Robert Heinlein.

If you are a fan of pulp science fiction or just want to see a fun and exciting action movie, then you’ll enjoy Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I strongly recommend seeing it in the theater to fully experience all the special effects on the big screen.

---

The perils of an overeducated mind: At one point in the movie, the characters are using RADAR and I’m thinking, “Wait a second…this movie is set in the 1930s but RADAR wasn’t fully developed until World War II.” Then I realized they have robots and death rays, so why am I having a problem with RADAR?

Warren, a hippie painter, borrows a dime from Don to make a phone call. As he calls the police to report a robbery that’s yet to happen, he is shot and killed. Because Don was the last person to see Warren alive, he is taken to the police station for questioning. At the police station, Don encounters his father and Frank Heinsite, a mayoral candidate.

After watching the high school basketball game, Hank decides to patrol the streets of the city as Hawk looking for crime. He spots some masked robbers breaking into the art museum. He confronts them, but is knocked out in the brawl. Upon waking up, he calls the police to report the robbery.

The next morning, Hank is stunned to read in the paper that no robbery occurred at the museum. Puzzled, he tells Don what happened and Don runs off convinced that the murder and “robbery” are linked. Arriving at the apartment of Warren’s girlfriend Marie, Don interrupts some thugs who are there to shoot her. There is a brief fight and the pair escapes. Don takes her to the art museum, but more thugs show up there and the chase is on.

Again prowling the city as Hawk, Hank breaks up a jewelry store robbery. He sees the van from the museum robbery the previous night, but cannot follow it as he is finishing up with the jewelry store robbers. A short time later, he hears gunshots and sees Don and Marie being chased by the thugs. Together, the three of them run to the city park, where they elude the criminals and meet a group a hippies. The hippies agree to help Marie while Don and Hank go off in search of the mysterious van.

Hank and Don manage to find the van in front of Heinsite’s house. Hank thinks they’re robbing it, but Don isn’t so sure. They sneak into the house to discover that the house is full of art. It turns out that Heinsite had paid some crooks to steal the paintings from the art museum and replace them with forgeries painted by Warren. When Warren got cold feet, Heinsite had him killed. Heinsite and his thugs confront Hawk and Dove, but the heroes easily defeat them and leave them tied up for police (but not without some property damage, courtesy of the Hawk)

The story is a fairly clever idea, but would have worked better as a straight mystery instead of the action/mystery hybrid it tries to be. There’s also some painful dialogue in this issue, particularly when Hawk decides to talk street (“Listen, Man…mercy just isn’t my bag…dig?”).

Gil Kane’s art again is outstanding. He makes excellent use of the entire panel, incorporating both foreground and background into the scene in a way that’s missing from much of today’s comic art. Unfortunately, his action scenes are the weakest art of the issue, which is ironic as they were the high point of the previous issue. Much of this can be blamed on the script, which can’t decide if the story is a mystery or an action story, and is only mediocre on both counts.

There is a definite shift in Don’s attitude this issue. First he engages in some mild fisticuffs with the crooks in Marie’s apartment. Later, he reminds Hank: “I still don’t think that excessive violence is necessary! Or justifiable!” This is a significant shift from his previous views where he thought that all violence was wrong – no matter the circumstances. Originally, he never would have hit the thug, even a gun wielding one. He would have found another way to incapacitate him.

Is this a real change in Don’s attitude? Or could it be that writer Steven Skeates was finding it difficult to write a superhero who never engages in fisticuffs? The answer is probably a little bit of both. This is Skeates’s last issue on The Hawk and the Dove (though he does co-write some of their later Teen Titan adventures) and I suspect the difficulty of writing Dove was part of his reasons for leaving. Don’s subtle change of attitude also nicely sets up one of next issue’s themes, where Don’s pacifist views are challenged when Hank is critically injured.

Notes:

1. Don is in his blue blazer again – for both days the story occurs in — but this time he is wearing a red tie. His bow-tie seems to have been a Ditko affectation and Don stopped wearing it when Ditko stopped doing the art. Of note, Peter Parker — even at his nerdiest — never wore a bow-tie.
2. Hank’s always described as athletic, but hasn’t yet been shown to actually participate in any sports.
3. There is no scene in the book that even vaguely resembles the cover art.

Eddie Izzard is the funniest stand-up comedian working today. Dressed to Kill is the best of his “concert” DVDs, though Circle is quite funny as well. If you didn’t get a chance to catch his show when it ran on HBO, make sure you catch it on DVD.

Highlights of the act include the bits on imperialism (“Do You Have a Flag?”), Scooby-Doo, and Stonehenge. My absolutely favorite part is his take on the Heimlich Maneuver (“It’s not really a maneuver, more of a gesture really.”).

For comic book fans, he played one of the villains (Tony P – the Disco guy) in Mystery Men.

After reading Jeff Lester’s take on Excalibur over at the Savage Critic, I’ll never see the series the same way again.

It all makes sense though…

Space Hulk was an excellent computer game. Fun, yet haunting at the same time. Could you complete the mission with your Space Marines before the Genestealers ate them all? (You knew you were going to lose some, the goal was getting at least one to survive).

Chaos Gate was also a good computer game. It was a good simulation of the Warhammer 40K rules and a lot of fun to play. Even after you finished a mission, you’d play it again and again just knowing that you could do better.

These games are over five tears old now. Whay hasn’t there been a good Warhammer 40K game since? Rites of War – Horrible. Fire Warrior — Boring and predictable.

I have high hopes for the new Warhammer 40K: Dawn of War. Anybody given it a try?

Legion certainly went out with a satisfying bang. Gail Simone’s four issues of writing the series were one of the better stories in Legion of Super-Hero circle for quite some time.

It was truly an epic story. The challenge and risk was big. All technology was shut down in a rapidly expanding portion of Earth while the Legionnaires were being targeted by mysterious assassins.

In this story, there was the sense that the Legion were truly heroes – a sense that has been missing from for some time. Despite the risks, the Legion stayed out in the open helping the bystanders. Apparition, in spite of concerns over the shooting of her mother, stayed to lead by example.

The Legion may have been down, but not out. Chameleon cleverly managed to capture two of the criminal responsible. Karate Kid faced down an entire prison-full of criminals himself (and I loved the panel when the “L” from his flight ring was visible imprinted in the face of a convict he had just punched). The triumphant conclusion, thanks to Dreamer and Timber Wolf, was an event worth cheering.

While I look forward to Mark Waid and Barry Kitson’s run on the new Legion of Super-Heroes title, I would love to see Gail Simone given another chance at the title.

The Legion #38 “For No Better Reason, Part Four: Moebius Strip”
Gail Simone, writer (or “Gail Simone Girl”, as the credits identify her)
Dan Jurgens, breakdowns (”Dan Jurgens Lad”)
Andy Smith, finishes (”Kid Andy Smith”)

A few random quasi-medical thoughts on the excellent Legion #38:

1. Infectious Lass is back. Gotta love her. (OK, she showed up in Legion #37; work with me here)
2. So this storyline reveals that Rimborians have a different internal anatomy than Terrans. Funny, I thought most of the Legion were essentially human. This information opens a whole new can of worms because it can be inferred that for two individuals to have offspring together, their internal anatomy must be equivalent (well, except for that male/female part – that needs to be different). Therefore:
   • Since Jo and Tinya have a child, and Tinya has been shown to have both Bgztl and Caarg in her background, Rimborians must be the same internally as Caargites and Bgztlians, but all are different from Terrans.
   • Garth and Imra have (well, had) children, so Titans must be equivalent to Winathians.
   • Lydda was pregnant with Rokk’s child, so Braalians must be equivalent to Kathoonians.
   • Now it gets weird. Laurel Gand, a Daxamite, had a child with Rond Vidar. Now, Rond has a confusing history, depending on which version of the Legion it is. In the recent Legion, it is implied that his father was from Titan, which would mean that Titans are equivalent to Daxamites, who must also therefore be equivalent to Winathians. Previous incarnations of the Legion had Universo as a Green Lantern who was sent to Earth – I’m not sure his (and therefore Rond’s) planet of origin and genealogy was explicitly stated.
   • And don’t get me started on Durlans.
   • To Summarize:

Strange
J. Michael Straczynski& Sara Barnes, writers
Brandon Peterson, penciler

I’m confused. I simply do not understand the underlying timeline in the Strange book. In the best case scenario, Dr. Stephen Strange never finished his residency; in the worst case scenario, he never any started it and should not be holding a medical license.

After earning their medical degree, doctors attend a residency program in a specific medical field. Residency lasts from three years (for primary care — such as pediatrics, internal medicine, or family practice) to five or more years (surgery). The more specialized the care, the longer the residency. At the very least, a doctor must complete the first year of residency (the internship) to earn a full medical license.

When we first meet Stephen Strange, his pal Devon refers to himself and Stephen as medical students. Later, Stephen tells Dr. Milius that he would like to return to Tibet after his internship. Since internship is the first year of residency, this also implies that Strange is still a medical student at this point. (Strange does tell the old man that he’s a doctor, so he’s either lying or speaking in a very broad sense).

Next time we meet Stephen Strange, it is three years later and he and Devon are hanging out in a fraternity house hitting on the women on campus. Devon refers to the fact that he is graduating second in their class behind Stephen. Dr. Milius shows up and tells Stephen that he is disappointed that Stephen was taking a high-paying fluff job instead of returning to Tibet.

If Stephen is hanging out in a fraternity house on campus, it’s implying that he’s just finishing medical school now. If that’s the case, then how is he getting this high paid plastic surgery job without the benefit of a Plastic Surgery residency (or a full medical license)?

On the other hand, Strange could be entering the work-force after three years of residency and is just hanging out on campus for old-times sake. (If that’s the case, then why is Devon whining about his grade point averages?) If this is indeed the situation, then Strange is leaving his Plastic Surgery residency before he should and will never be “board eligible” or “board certified” – and no big name clinic would hire him.

Generally, physicians attend a four year medical school after finishing four years of college. There are a few combined programs in the U.S. where a student can graduate with an undergraduate degree (in “general science”) and a medical degree in six years. It appears that it is this type of school that Stephen and Devon attended since twice refer to listening to Milius lecture for “six years”. Again, this leads to the question of how Strange is getting a high-paying plastic surgery job without completing (or apparently even starting) a residency.

It’s also interesting to note that Stephen’s pal Devon, who had the identical medical training as Strange, seems to be a primary care physician at a clinic for the homeless. Apparently to Straczynski and Barnes, primary care medicine and plastic surgery training are interchangeable. This is yet another situation when writers incorrectly believe that all advanced medical training is equivalent. (I just may have vented about this topic before.)

Finally, let me point out that Strange did a very bad job placing the cast on Wong’s right arm. In short arm casts, the wrist needs to be immobilized.

Well, I was going to post a look at The Hawk and the Dove #5 tonight, but then my monthly box of comic from Mayhem Comics came, so think I’ll just sit back and read instead (and thanks for the signed Mike Wieringo comic!)

I did, sigh, read through Strange #1. Has anybody at Marvel ever heard the old maxim “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? Anyway, my thoughts are below…

The Hawk and the Dove #5 starts out with a bang as a skull-masked thief shoots a policeman while robbing a bank. Making his getaway, the thief runs over a child playing ball in the street (OK — clearly not the brightest kid in the world — but still no reason for him to get run over). The next day, the alleged robber is caught and brought before Judge Hall who is shocked to discover that it is Sam Hodgins, an old friend of his.

Knowing that Hodgins once saved their father’s life, Hank and Don set out to prove his innocence. They track down the two eye-witnesses who identified him, eye-witnesses who just happen to be known criminals. Hawk and Dove trail them to a warehouse and overhear a gang of thieves plan a car theft thing. Hawk busts in and demands to know what they have against Frank Hodgins. Both eye-witnesses stick by their story, stating that they did indeed see Hodgins. Hawk knocks one crook unconscious, but Dove manages to persuade Hawk to let the other one escape so that they can follow him.

They lose track of the crook, but coincidentally stumble upon another robbery committed by the bank robber. Hawk and Dove trail the robber to his hideout. Unfortunately, the robber has spotted them and sets a trap. Hawk and Dove enter the warehouse just in time to have a heavy crate pushed over onto them. Dove jumps out of the way, but Hawk is smashed and critically injured. Fearing that his brother is dead, Dove goes ballistic, stalking the robber across the warehouse and taunting him the entire time. He traps him in a corner and beats him senseless – only to discover that the thief was their father’s friend Sam Hodgins all along.

Don rushes Hank to the hospital, where the Hall family is informed by the doctor: “He’ll be all right. He’ll be laid up for a couple of weeks…the concussion was pretty bad…but there was no permanent damage.”

At Hank’s bedside, Don tells Hank that he maybe right – that non-violence may not be the right answer. Shocked, Hank tells him that his pacifist philosophy is not necessarily wrong, he just snapped when Hank was injured. They agree to shake hands and remain “friendly enemies.”

The main story ends here, but it’s followed by a half-page teaser that show Hawk and Dove tracking a criminal and running headlong into a group of adolescent costumed heroes. The caption states: “Hey! – Isn’t that the Teen Titans? You bet your sweet bippy it is! And they’re on a collision course with the Hawk and the Dove in Teen Titans #21 on sale March 18th!”

The art and story are both by Gil Kane is The Hawk and The Dove #5. The art is better than last issue (more action to draw), but not as good as issue #3. Kane’s art is particularly suited to wonderful fight scenes, and this issue contains a good example as Dove beats Frank Hodgins senseless.

The writing is a little better this issue than last issue as well. Still, Kane can be seen already toying with Dove’s pacifist attitudes on this, his first issue as writer. Dove knocks a criminal unconscious, though his talk with Hank in the hospital seems to reaffirm his original pacifistic views. More telling, at several points in this issue the Hawk and Dove dichotomy is explored in terms of emotion (Hawk) versus logic (Dove), instead of the simple war/peace contrast.

Notes:

1. Don’s cover story for Hank’s injury: “We were climbing around an old house on the edge of town, and a staircase collapsed…it came down on top of him…”
2. The other crooks involved in the car theft ring are never mentioned again. Did they go free? Did Hawk and Dove call the cops? Will we ever know? (I hereby pitch my own title: The Hawk and The Dove – The Lost Years)
3. Yet another newspaper is shown in this issue. This brings the total to ten different newspapers published in the “small town” of Eldon.
4. Though the cover refers to Hawk being shot, he never is; just crushed under a large box.
5. Included in this issue is a text page, Fact File #5, which tells the history of Wildcat. Reproduced here for your amusement.
6. For those of you keeping track at home, Don again wears his blue coat/red tie outfit.