Polite Dissent

Since it’s the first of December, Scott’s Comic Book Cover Advent Calendar starts today. Each day, a different cover will be featured with the issue numbers counting down the days until Christmas. For instance, today startrs with an issue #24, tomorrow will feature a #23, and so on. There’s a good mix of comic covers, from current titles to Silver- and Golden-Age classics. The entire advent calendar can be found here, but covers will only be revealed one day at a time.

24 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view

Black Widow #2 Right to a Life, part 2
Richard K. Morgan, writer
Goran Parlov and Bill Sienkiewicz, artists

Natasha: Medusagen…? Sounds like a hormone.
Phil: Yeah, a really nasty one. You seen it before?
Natasha: No. But these I do recognize. You?
Phil: Pheno– I can’t even pronounce that. Painkillers?
Natasha: Military-issue painkillers. Very powerful. Very difficult to get hold of outside of military circles.

There are no such things as “military-issue painkillers.” The military uses the same painkillers available at any pharmacy.

Biochemically, acute pain is the same, no matter the cause. Why should the military need special painkillers? I doubt a soldier feels worse pain than a chronically ill cancer patient. If anything, military physicians are more restrictive in their choices of painkillers than most other physicians. First, space constraints need to be considered. There is very limited room for medications on a deployment; only the most useful drugs can be taken*. Second, many military personnel are limited in what drugs they are allowed to use because of their duties. Would you want a pilot or an armed guard taking a narcotic pain killer? Often, the best choice is a weaker painkiller in these situations.

Medusagen is a fictitious hormone, therefore it’s safe from my commenting. Well, mostly safe. I’d be interested to know what kind of hormone it is. Is it a female hormone? Is it an anabolic steroid? It is extremely unusual for a pregnant woman to be taking hormones…and what exactly makes this hormone “really nasty.”

Time to take a break and look at the searches that led people to Polite Dissent in November. The top searches were fairly similar to last month’s. Dave Trampier and his comic strip Wormy were popular, as was Bwana Beast , Hawk and Dove, and questions regarding pica. Tusky the walrus was also very popular this month. Adrenalitis was a surprisingly common search; I’m sure this says something bad about America’s TV watching habits. Treehouse of Horrors was another popular search item; leading the pack were over a dozen searches for “The Frogurt is also cursed.”

I also seem to be getting a large number of searches regarding veterinary medicine.

Other interesting searches last month (with free snark!)

good cough medicine made with jack daniels I don’t know, but please give me the recipe when you find it.
hepzibah starjammers She finally showed up in Starjammers #5, but she was drawn with these weird amphibian ears…bleah!
doc mid-nite mcnider gay I don’t think so.
the pantheon hector comic gay Yes he is.
what is nyc doing regarding the avian flue Closing the flue (chuckle, chuckle. Why isn’t anybody else laughing?)
the riddler knows bruce wayne is batman Shh, don’t tell. Nobody’d believe you anyway.
i want to be a surgeon The first step is admitting your problem.
i like you in klingon That’s nice of you to say.
medical comic There are few good ones published now. I recommend Scutmonkey comics, over at the Underwear Drawer.
bat girl bette kane Yes she was, but then Barbara Gordon (and Yvonne Craig) came around, and Bette Kane is now Flamebird. At least she wasn’t retconned out.
adult film star teegan Hmmm….naww.
pictures of bobby labonte crashing Come on, he had a bad enough season as it was. Don’t rub it in.
robin 130 spoiler Are they looking for spoilers for the plot of Robin #130, or looking for the character Spoiler?
the savage naked she-hulk I would buy this comic in an instant.
what were the ingredients in the medicine that gave beast boy his powers Well, it depends on the origin of Beast Boy. Originally it was the disease sakutia combined with the machine his father used to cure him that gave him his powers. I’m not quite clear on the on his current origin.
polite puns An oxymoron. There are no polite puns.

The countdown continues! Today we have a a less-than-jolly view of Christmas, courtesy of Garth Ennis and John McCrea.

In the past few days, Microsoft has jumped on the blogging bandwagon by debuting their own free blog software and site, Microsoft Spaces.

Is it really free? It is supported by banner ads and such, but so are most other free sites, so I can’t really hold that against them.

What I am appalled about is their very restrictive Terms of Service. For starters, they claim copyright to everything written on Microsoft Spaces. They won’t allow any “harmful use” that is Microsoft or any of its suppliers or distributors. If they feel you’ve posted something harmful, they are not obligated to notify you before taking any action. In addition, Microsoft reserves the right to copy, distribute, edit and modify your post, and even sublicense these rights — but will not pay you for your submission. Oh yeah, they may monitor your e-mail, too.

A more in depth look at the Terms of Service is provided at Sleepless in Midland (link discovered via GruntDoc). Remember this the next time you blindly accept a Terms of Service without reading it.

There are plenty of other free or low-priced blogging options out there: Blogger, TypePad, WordPress (what I use here) and Movable Type, just to name a few. I’d suggest you stick with one of these.

Jericho Drum, better known as Brother Voodoo, can be spotted in the dinner party scene in Gambit #3. He’s second from the back on the left hand side, wearing some stylish duds.

Can anyone name the other attendees? (Click on the image for a larger version)

After yesterday’s cover, I felt a happier scene was needed today. Here is Christmas in Riverdale — along with one of the worst puns in the advent calendar countdown.

Here’s an image from the recent Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Wolverine 2004. It shows Wolverine’s skeleton and how his claws work. How many errors can you find in the image? I’ve found 4 (so far). [UPDATE: Up to 6 now.]

Seriously, this isn’t brain surgery rocket science. Most of these mistakes were easily preventable. Doesn’t anybody edit these books, or at least fact check them?

Click here for a larger image, Click here for a much larger image.

One of my favorite covers in the countdown — no surprise really, since it features Hawk and Dove. This was one of the best issues of the Kesel and Kesel Hawk & Dove series. It had a fun story, good art by Kevin Maguire, it tied up some romantic tangles while starting others, and it featured a clever parody of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What more could you want in a Christmas Comic?

Wishing a happy first blogiversary to Mike Sterling’s Progressive Ruin!

As I doing my normal monthly read through of the recent Previews, only half paying attention, something in the description of Teen Titans #21 caught my eye (emphasis mine):

But as the Titans fall, help arrives in the form of two young heroes. Get ready for the new Hawk and Dove

I can’t say that I saw this one coming. I figured that Geoff Johns might be up to something with Hawk and Dove in the forseeable future, as he has featured Dove in several issues of the JSA. But the Teen Titans? I didn’t expect that (but historically, it makes sense — that’s the group they’ve been affiliated with the most). This could be tremendously good or titanically bad.

Johns has a pretty good record with modern re-interpretation of older characters, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt — as long as he doesn’t bring back that horrible Hawk and Dove from the Jurgens Mike Baron mini-series.

UPDATE (6 Dec 04): Charles did try to warn me, and in an appropriately subtle way. I appreciate it, Charles. You’re a true friend.

The first of two “Scenes-Reflected-in-Christmas-Tree-Ornaments” covers on the countdown (What’s the other? Just wait, oh, about 9 days to find out). This ornament cover has Superman and Geoforce battling it out — and what says “Holiday Cheer” better than that?

I thought I’d take a minute and go over my philosophy on reviews, and medical reviews in particular. I love comics. I’ve been reading them for over two-thirds of my life. I have tremendous respect for anyone who has the talent and ability to write or illustrate a comic. I don’t review comics to be snarky or seem clever. I review comics because I’m concerned about what I’m reading. I am troubled by the amount of medical misinformation in the media (and that includes comic books) and the amount of typos and other blatant mistakes in comics. When I see these two problems — especially together — I feel compelled to act.

Medicine is rarely straightforward. It is complex and confusing and getting more complicated by the day. There is a large amount of bad and misleading information out there (especially on this new-fangled “world wide web” ). I see the same sort of incorrect information in magazines, on news reports, and on movies and TV shows (and let’s not even mention infomercials or spam). Patients get medical information everywhere; they’ll come in and ask me about what they saw on movies, TV, or the news. I spend much of my day correcting misunderstandings. These same mistakes are creeping into comic books (for instance, despite what Batman and Elektra would have us believe, you can’t treat viruses with antibiotics). I review comics to bring these mistakes to light, and to provide a little medical education (and hopefully a little entertainment along the way).

I pay my hard-earned money for comic books and I expect a professional job. I don’t want to find typos, poor grammar or other blatant errors. I can sympathize with mistakes on fan publications or websites but not from professional publishers. The recent image from The Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe: Wolverine 2004 demonstrates the problem perfectly: 6 mistakes in a single image. 4 of these mistakes could have been prevented with a simple minute’s Google. I have no patience and no sympathy for such unprofessional errors in a product that I am expected to buy.

I don’t pre-select comics for medical reviews*, I just read through my monthly stack of books. If I come across any sort of medical scene, I put it aside. I’ll later re-read these comics. Ones with good (or bad) scenes, I’ll put in my “to do” short box. Comics with a particularly egregious scene get put next to my computer and addressed right away.

It really doesn’t take much to write a good medical scene. Almost all the information you could ever need is in the library or on the internet. Check some of the sites on my sidebar. It there are still any questions, my e-mail’s on the top up there. Just remember, a little medicine goes a long way; don’t overdo it. As for grammar and spelling, that’s what proofreaders and editors are for, not readers.

*I do take requests, if there’s any particular comic scene you wonder about.

Mythbusters is a show on the Discovery Channel that proves or debunks various urban legends. Starring Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, two follicularly-challenged special effects gurus, each hour long episode tackles on one or more well known stories. Recent episodes have looked at eel-skin wallets, quicksand, and putting sugar in gastanks. While their experiements may sometimes lack a certain scientific rigour, the show is always fun to watch and I almost always end up learning something. Admittedly, it may be something relatively useless, like the torque of a ceiling fan motor, but still, I’ve learned something.

For today’s Advent Comic Book Cover Countdown, we turn back to the Golden Age — 1945 to be exact — where the original Green Lantern and his taxi-driving pal Doiby Dickles wish us holiday greetings in Green Lantern #18.

Just so you don’t think I’m always negative, here are three recent comics that have some excellent medical scenes. The art is good. The medicine is good. Sure, there are a few very minor nit-picks, but give these writers and artists a hand for a job well done.

Nightwing #99 “Back to Life”
Devin Grayson, writer
Zach Howard, penciler

Nightwing is lying in bed at Wayne Manor, wounded and febrile. Alfred is doing his best to tend his wounds, and to update Bruce on his progress.
The care Alfred is rendering is appropriate, and his description of the injuries is fine (though “femoral arterial laceration” is a little too wordy; try “femoral artery laceration” instead.)

Swamp Thing #9 “Love in Vain, chapter 1 ”
Joshua Dysart, writer
Enrique Breccia, artist

Tefe suffers a massive upper gastrointestinal bleed. The paramedics are in the process of treating her:

Paramedic #1: We’ve got massive G.I. hemorrhaging! She was stabilized!
Paramedic #2: Place two large bore IV’s stat! Hang two bags of Ringer’s solution and let ‘em run!

The treatment here is perfect. They need to hurry up and get her to a hospital for definitive treatment, but in the meantime placing a large IV in each arm and pouring the fluid in is her best chance. Ringer’s Lactate is a common fluid used for surgeries and emergencies. (Nitpick: Calling someone with a G.I. bleed “stabilized” before starting an IV is really pushing your luck.). And let me point out that Breccia’s image of Tefe in a fetal position with blood fountaining from her mouth is eye-catching in a very grotesque way.

Witchblade #80 “Witch Hunt, part 1 of 6 “
Ron Marz, writer
Michael Choi, penciler

Sarah Pezzini is in the hospital after being beat up yet again. An IV is running (and in the right place), heart leads are on (and in the right place), and the nasal canula is drawn correctly. A nicely drawn hospital scene. (Nitpick: the butterfly bandages on her forehead are drawn bizarrely, and the heart rhythm on the monitor has an extra wave or two).

Ethics and parenting were the themes this week, the former just hinted at while the latter was stated rather blatantly — especially in House’s overdone diatribe against antibiotics. The final diagnosis and the path to reach that decision all made good sense, and there was barely any random jumping from idea to idea this episode. The medicine seemed sound and logical (though I’ll happily admit that neonatology is not my specialty). I was surprised that they “forgot” that babies initially share their mother’ antibodies, since that was the “a-ha!” moment of the second episode.

Robert Sean Leonard’s character (oncologist Dr. Wilson) is growing on me, as is the previously-quiet Dr. Chase (James Spenser). This was a strong character episode for Dr. Cameron (Jennifer Morrison).

As an aside, we saw that not only do the Young Gun doctors run every test and procedure themselves (notice that they ran the MRI, ran the laboratory equipment and drew the blood), but Dr. House himself has the same compulsion (and where did he get credentials to do autopsies?).

Best line of the season so far! Dr. House to patient: Sometimes the best thank-you is never having to see you again.

The Advent countdown continues! With 17 days remaining until Christmas, that means today I’ll be bringing you a comic that is the seventeenth issue of a particular title — and happens to have a Christmas cover (not an easy task at all… numbers 17, 22 and 24 were the hardest to track down). Walt Disney’s Mickey and Donald #17 fits the bill perfectly, with the pair realizing that “one size fits all” doesn’t apply to ducks.

17 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view

The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

Thanks to the Comic Queen, the Comics Reporter and Thought Balloons for steering me in the direction of this interesting newspaper article from Canada.

As a joke, a group of Canadian medical school professors tackle the medical problems of a fictional character on an annual basis. This year, they’re turning their eyes on the ever-youthful reporter Tintin.

It appears that his perennially prepubescent look is due to a growth-hormone deficiency and hypogonadotropic hypogonadism, conditions likely brought on by repeated blows to the head.

“We believe that the multiple traumas Tintin sustained could be the first case of traumatic pituitary injury described in the literature,” said Claude Cyr, an associate professor of medicine at the Université de Sherbrooke in Sherbrooke, Que.

His lighthearted research is published today in the Canadian Medical Association Journal’s annual holiday edition, which has a tradition of diagnosing fictional characters with real medical conditions.

Essentially, the Canadian physicians are saying that repeated blows to the head have damaged Tintin’s pituitary gland. This gland is located on the underside of the brain and controls the body’s hormones. Without the pituitary functioning properly, he would be low on growth hormone and low on male hormones. This would lead to the previously mentioned hypogonadism. That means…well, let’s just say that Tintin would have an underdeveloped male anatomy and a lack of secondary sexual characteristics such as facial hair, broad shoulders, a deep voice, and so on.

How blows to the top and back of the head would affect the base of his brain is never explained. I think it would be more reasonable to assume that he always had the low hormones rather then developed them later. But that explanation wouldn’t be as much fun, so I’ll just agree with the Canadian doctors. I wonder what they’d make of Hal Jordan?

In my chronological review of the appearances of the Hawk and the Dove, I’ve posted about several painfully bad comics. The worst was probably Teen Titans #25, the comic that sets up the whole “powerless” Teen Titans storyline that drove the title into the ground. However, that was nothing compared to the mind-numbing storytelling of today’s comic. I present: Showcase #100.

Something bizarre is happening. Weather conditions have gone haywire, volcanoes are erupting and time is out of joint. Cavemen, dinosaurs, cowboys and Germans are roaming the streets of Metropolis. The heroes are summoned to a meeting in the JLA’s satellite headquarters. Of course, the JLA’s not there as they’re all “off on missions” (except for Flash and Green Lantern). So it’s up to the second- and third-string heroes to save the world. Coincidentally, it’s these same heroes who have appeared in Showcase over the years…

Green Lantern tells the group that something is blocking his ring, but it’s not a force field because radio waves can still get through (a little known scientific fact about force fields). Frankly, he’s baffled. Luckily, Adam Strange and the Atom are able to piece together the fact that some mysterious force is dragging the Earth out of its orbit and propelling it through space faster than light, ripping open the time stream.

The heroes split into teams. Adam Strange, Green Lantern, Flash and the Atom head into space to find the power source of whatever may be causing the disaster. They discover an invisible space ship, but Green Lantern is unable to affect it because it’s yellow (yep, it’s another one of those invisible yellow objects). He creates a moving prism to Doppler shift the light so that his ring can work (yes, we all know that’s not how the Doppler Effect works. Shhh…don’t tell Hal.). Robots from the ship attack, but Space Ranger shows up just in time to save the heroes. The whole group ventures inside the ship but is attacked by a giant plant. The Phantom Stranger appears and the group holds a séance to call forth the Spectre. Using the power of belief, the Spectre is able to return Earth to its orbit.

Rip Hunter and his pals jump into their Time Sphere but become trapped in the time stream and don’t appear again in this comic. Way to go, Rip!

Most of the other heroes are on Earth working crowd control. This includes the Teen Titans, the Metal Men, Aquaman, Dolphin and the Sea Devils. Across town, a strange collection of people are clustering in the offices of Angel O’Day (of Angel and the Ape fame). In addition to Angel and Sam, there’s Tommy Tomorrow, Firehair, Bat Lash, Anthro, and the Inferior Five. Angel, Bat Lash and Tommy Tomorrow take off in Tommy’s ship, figuring they can use its advanced technology to track down the source of the problem.

At the WGBS tower, Lois Lane is broadcasting an SOS for Superman, but it’s all in vain. The Challengers of the Unknown climb in through the window and use the station’s transmitter to pinpoint the cause of the disasters. The Challengers fly off with Lois and the Creeper tagging along and discover a strange metal building. Rocky jimmies open a small door and Lois slips in before it locks shut.

On top of the building, Tommy Tomorrow uses his ray gun to blast a hole in the roof. Angel jumps in and the hole seals behind her. Despite the dangerous radiation (which they can somehow detect), both Lois and Angel crawl though the mysterious building and find the control room. They flip the correct lever to drive the alien from Earth, never to return.

That summary should give you a nice taste of the comic. The story by Paul Kupperberg and Paul Levitz is full of bizarre contrivances and unexplained plot holes. The villain is never once explained. How did the alien move the Earth from its orbit — and more importantly — why? If it can teleport, then why did it build a door? The “technobabble” is painful to read, and the science is so bad that even a third grader would see right through it.

The art by Joe Stanton is fairly angular and nears the level of caricature at several points. His inking is wispy and doesn’t lend any weight to his lines. The backgrounds — if they exist at all — are sketchy. Admittedly, he wasn’t working with much of a story. His cover sure is eye-catching though.

The Hawk and the Dove appear on the cover, the splash page, and in the background of three small panels. They are apparently working crowd control with the Titans. They don’t get to say a word, though they do get to beat up Nazis. Frankly, Sugar and Spike have a bigger role in the story.

One last thought: strange weather, characters from different eras converging and a mysterious never-before-seen alien masterminding the event. Sound familiar? It’s Crisis, only without the red skies, and seven years ahead of its time.

What would Christmas be without Little Audrey? Why, no Christmas at all, that’s what! Here to keep your Holiday spirits up is Little Audrey #16, from 1951, reminding us that there are only 16 days left until Christmas!

16 Days until Christmas!
click on image for pretty much the same-sized image, but a little more information.
Sorry, I couldn’t find a bigger image of this cover

The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

Amazing Spider-Man #509-#514 “Sins Past”
J. Michael Straczynski, writer
Mike Deodato Jr., penciler

A brief recap of the plot of Sins Past (unnecessary filler left out):

A key to understanding Sins Past is realizing that the narrative is driving towards the transfusion scene where Sarah realizes that Spider-Man has saved her. That is the climax of the story. It is Sarah’s redemption. Conversely, her brother’s acceptance of the Goblin serum signals his condemnation.

The art by Mike Deodata Jr. is beautiful, as always. I do have two small medical nitpicks. What is that in Sarah’s mouth? Is it supposed to be delivering oxygen? It looks more like a bridle and bit. Now look at the monitor. That’s not a heart rhythm; it’s the Dow Jones report.

Most of the medical scenes appear in the final chapter of the storyline. As this issue begins, Sarah has been shot in the abdomen and is rushed into emergency surgery. This makes sense. Abdominal wounds can be very dangerous, particularly if any of the abdominal organs are injured or if the bowel is perforated. She needs a transfusion, but her body is rejecting blood that has an identical blood type. Pete figures that it’s due to her Osborn blood. I’ll concede this point, though it is quite unlikely².

He offers to donate his blood because he knows he and Sarah are the same blood type.

How do I say that even before I saw her DNA chart, I knew I had a 50/50 chance…because I once asked Gwen what her blood type was…

There are a couple of problems here. First, how did Peter know Sarah’s DNA profile? He got a DNA profile off the letter, but how does he know which twin it was? It could just as easily have been Gabriel’s DNA. They’re fraternal twins, not identical twins, so they wouldn’t have identical DNA. They may not even have the same blood type. Second, even though Peter knows Gwen;s blood type, he can’t make a logical guess at her children’s without knowing their father’s blood type too. This “50/50 chance” of his is completely wrong. I can’t conceive of a single situation where it would ever come down to a 50/50 chance knowing just one parent’s blood type.

It’s a great leap of faith (and creative license) that Peter’s spider blood would be able to transfuse Sarah, but remember the story is driving to the transfusion scene. Whole blood transfusions are rare because they can cause fluid overload, particularly in ill or injured patients. Packed red blood cells are almost always given — but this would deny us the transfusion scene. Also, why wouldn’t Peter’s blood have given Sarah radiation poisoning like it gave Aunt May in Amazing Spider-Man #10?

I would also like to point out that Doctor Chapin is breaking federal patient privacy laws by discussing Sarah’s medical care with Spider-Man. It doesn’t matter that he’s the one who brought her to the hospital; he’s not cleared to receive her medical information.

There are a few other minor nit-picks: Operating rooms do not open up off of major hospital corridors. They are in a sequestered and sterile area. If the transfusion caused Spider-Man to black out due to blood loss, why doesn’t he have an IV (or at least a glass of water) in the recovery room? (And does anyone else think that Mary Jane at his bedside in the hospital the entire time is more than a little detrimental to that whole secret identity thing?)

One final question. How does a temporary transfusion of Peter’s blood cleanse the “Osborn taint” that Sarah is permanently genetically coded for? Or did it?

One of the best Christmas stories of all time is “The Gift of the Magi.” This is the story where the wife sells her hair to buy her husband a watch fob, and he sells his watch to buy her a fancy set of combs* (or in the Saturday Night Live version, Donald Trump sells his yacht to buy Ivana a diamond encrusted front door, and Ivana sells the mansion to buy him an enormous gold anchor.) Today’s Advent cover is Classics Illustrated #15: The Gift of the Magi.

15 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

*The story always seemed unfair to me. After all, she can grow her hair back, but his watch is gone for good.

It was a busy week in the clinic. It seems that there’s a bronchitis mini-epidemic going on in town. Nothing too severe…more annoying for the patients than anything else. With all the coughing in the office this week, it sounded like there was a pack of seals in the waiting room (Is it pack? Or pod? What do seals hang out in? I’m fascinated by all the different names for groups of animals. My favorties are the gaggle of geese and the murder of crows.) Found this site on animal group names. Apparently there are several possible names for seal groups (including pod); the best is a harem of seals.

Some interesting medical news this week:

• Consumer Reports now rates prescription drugs on their Best Buy Drugs site. Their advice is pretty much right on the money on PPIs (Proton Pump Inhibitors) and cholesterol medications (statins). They’re right about the NSAIDs, except that high dose ibuprofen and salsalate can be difficult on the stomach frequently. Still good advice and it looks like a good site.
• More and more Americans consider TV news a good place to get health information. Well, it’s better than infomercials and spam — but just barely. Here’s an interesting article: Ten Troublesome Trends in TV Health News. I’m certain you will have seen most of these problems your self. (Link from KevinMD)

Have a good weekend! I’m going to relax, attend a Christmas party or two, be grateful I’m not on call this weekend, and catch up on some comics and manga (Sgt. Frog, Love Hina, and Planetes). Don’t worry, the Comic Book Cover Advent Calendar will be updated daily, both here on the blog and at the calendar itself.

Another downer of cover, showing that even Christmas can be grim and gritty. I’m sorry Valiant, but this comic book cover doesn’t exactly scream, “Buy Me!” — but then, I can’t recall any particularly oustanding covers from Valiant offhand. Today’s Advent cover is Bloodshot #14

14 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

When I was watching The Batman this morning, an ad came on for the movie Where the Red Fern Grows.

“I remember reading that book in elementary school,” I told the Polite-Wife.
“I could only read it once because it made me sad,” she said.
“But you make your class read The Bridge to Terebithia every year,” I pointed out.
“That’s different!” she pouted. Luckily, the commercial was over by then and the show was back on.

Why do we feel the need to make our children read these very sad depressing books? Do we learn anything from than other than that they are sad and depressing books that — while well written — are no fun to read? Which sad books like this do you remember having to read in school? (In addition to Where the Red Fern Grows and The Bridge to Terebithia, there was also A Taste of Blackberries. Page for page, the most depressing book I have ever read was Tess of the d’Urbervilles — though that wasn’t until high school)

(The Polite-Wife tells me that the saddest book to her is Sadako and the Thousand Paper Cranes. She reads it to her class every year and cries every time.)

Driving to the mall with the Polite-Wife this morning, the song “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” came on the radio. I flashed back to my teen years and remember watching the movie based on this song.

That got me to thinking (that can be dangerous): How many songs have been turned into movies? I’m not counting movies titled after songs (like Great Balls of Fire or La Bamba), but movies that are directly inspired or based on the song in question.

I can think of four off-hand:
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Alice’s Restaurant
The Nights the Lights Went Out in Georgia
Harper Valley P.T.A.
I guess Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band – the Movie counts too, though I don’t recommend anyone ever watching it.

(I’m not counting TV movies like The Gambler. I didn’t count Detroit Rock City either because it falls into “movies titled after songs”, not movies based on songs. It maybe splitting hairs, but hey, it’s my site.)

I know there have to be another examples out there, help me ease by mind by naming them…

A groovy “Christmas Happening” today, brought to you by the real Teen Titans, Mr. Big and Mr. Scrounge. Check out Wonder Girl’s original costume. Today’s Advent countdown cover is Teen Titans #13, from 1968.

13 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

The Batman episode this weekend was “The Big Chill.” It seems that one of Batman’s friends from his hippy days has committed suicide, so he and all his other college hippy friends gather for a wake and funeral. Oops, wait. That was the movie The Big Chill.
That was a good movie; this Batman episode was not. It was like the last Shumacher Batman film staged as a cartoon. There was Mr. Freeze, way too many bad puns involving “ice” and “snow,” and way too many gadgets (the Batman had a special white snow outfit with pop-out skies). They even sucked all the pathos out of Mr. Freeze and made him a bank robber who had an accident in a cryogenic vault, not someone trying to revive his beloved wife. This episode is not recommended at all.
The medicine was suspect too. Hypothermia is more deadly than suggested, but can’t do half the things attributed to it by the story. And in answer to Mr. Freeze’s query, when you combine a strong electric current with low temperatures, you get a fatal heart rhythm — hypothermia is a set up for heart arrhythmias.

The Teen Titans was a repeat of the show “Wavelength.” I said it before and I’ll say it again: I like this new version of the Bumblebee and would like to see her more often.

“Dark Heart “was this week’s Justice League Unlimited episode. This one was penned by Warren Ellis and definitely showed his penchant for the alien and the technological. It was a good episode with many funny line (most courtesy of the Atom and Batman). Almost every hero was there. I saw (in no particular order): Gypsy, Black Canary, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Ice, the Crimson Avenger, Vixen, Elongated Man, Booster Gold, Steel, Green Lantern, Red Tornado, Rocket Red, Martian Manhunter, Ray, Vibe, Crimson Fox, Hawk (but no Dove), Shining Knight, Captain Atom, Green Arrow, Aquaman, Supergirl, Dr. Light, Vigilante, Atom Smasher, Huntress, Stargirl, S.T.R.I.P.E., Aztek, Atom, Blue Devil, Wildcat, Dr. Fate, Starman, Dr. Mid-Nite, Obsidian, Bloodwynd and several assorted Justice League flunkies. There were two I couldn’t identify: one was in blue and red (Commander Steel, I think), and the other was blond with a dark outfit and holster, firing a pistol. A fun episode, in terms of the plot, humor and “Who’s Who.” I also like the fact that they mentioned Nellis Air Force Base, where I used to be stationed. The need to learn to pronounce Nevada correctly (or at least the same as the locals). It’s not Ne-vaw-daw, but Ne-va-da (with an “a” like in attack). Trust me; it’s how they prounonce it (just ask the Polite-Wife, who grew up there).

Make sure to check out what Mike Sterling and Johnny B. said about this JLU episode.

Today’s Advent comic book cover presents a slightly…distorted…view of Christmas, coutesy of Beavis and Butt-Head.

12 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

In addition to the previously mentioned Wormy, Dragon Magazine has hosted various other excellent strips. The one that I looked forward to the most was What’s New, With Phil and Dixie. Written and drawn by Phil Foglio (now of Girl Genius fame), What’s New was a monthly strip hosted by the bowler-wearing Phil and top-heavy Dixie. They explored various topics in Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing and war games, all the while trying to get permission to do a strip on “Sex in D&D.” The comic ran in Dragon for several years, stopped, then started again in another magazine (the Duelist, I think), and then moved back to Dragon before eventually stopping for good.

There are 3 very worthwhile collected volumes of the strip that can be purchased from various merchants including Phil Foglio’s own StudioFoglio and Steve Jackson’s Warehouse 23.

Comic Book Trivia – In the original Dragon Magazine run of What’s New, there was a strip written about super-hero role-playing games. In addition to mentioning the awesome Gazebo Boy (“Whose single power of transformation does little good against the Mighty Termite”), a hero named Deus Ex Machina Man was introduced. Several years later, Phil Foglio did an Angel and the Ape mini-series (1991). In that series, the comic book that Sam Simeon was illustrating was Deus Ex Machina Man.

I understand that there is some concern brewing online about the possibilty of a “relationship” between Peter Parker and Sarah Stacey (or Osborn or whatever her last name actually is) given the fact that while she may look twenty-one, she is really only seven or eight years old.

I hate to be the one to point this out, but this is not a new issue in comics. There was the whole weird step-son/step-mother relationship in DeMatteis’s Dr. Fate – the character was originally a child, then magically grew up and a “relationship” (there’s that word again) bloomed with his step-mother. It was an unsettling idea to me in an otherwise excellent series.

Then there’s Amethyst. In GemWorld, she contemplated love with Lord Some-Jewel-or-Another, then poof! she’s eight year old Amy Winston again and wondering why she can’t relate to her pre-teen friends.*

Of course, this didn’t all start with comic books. Let’s not forget the Chronicles of Narnia, where the characters are Princes and Princesses one day and British teens (or younger) the next. On the other hand, I don’t think there was ever any sex in Narnia. I think they must have reproduced by budding or spores or something.

*Honestly, I enjoyed the various Amethyst series — except maybe the last mini-series — and would like to add my name to the growing list of people who want to see Amethyst back or at least collected in trades.

Happy Anthropomorphic Christmas to you! Today’s countdown cover is Critters #11, published by Fantagraphics.

11 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

I wasn’t as enthralled by this week’s House as I have been previous episodes. It was still an engrossing medical mystery; the character elements just seemed superficial this week. First, I was misled by the TV schedule which suggested that the mystery was going to involve stigmata. That sounded intriguing and I was looking forward to discovering what diagnosis Dr. House would pin on bleeding palms. Unfortunately, the episode did not deal with stigmata, although it did focus on a nun. This particular nun had a wide variety of puzzling symptoms which some of the other nuns at her monastery (and I always thought monks lived in monasteries while nuns lived in convents) thought she was simply a hypochondriac. For the second week in a row, lessons learned in previous episodes were forgotten as the solution to this week’s mystery involved two separate and unrelated diagnoses — which violates the principle of Occam’s Razor.

The main character moment involved Dr. Chase, who was revealed to have been studying for the priesthood at one time. Other than that, the character moments were few and far-between. Sure, there were nuns, but that was pretty much a shortcut the writers used to suggest a deeper meaning to the episode instead of actually writing a deeper meaning. On the plus side, there was at least one Sound of Music joke.

Don’t miss my re-review of this episode.

This is the second of two “Scenes-Reflected-in-Christmas-Tree-Ornaments” covers in the Advent countdown. While the previous cover involved Superman and Geoforce, this one involves none other than the Hate Monger and Nick Fury himself. From 1969, today’s countdown cover is Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #10.

10 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

In all fairness, Greg at Raw Feed has already showcased this cover. Nevertheless, I decided to stick with my countdown plan and this is by far the best Christmas cover on any #10 issue out there, so I chose to keep it on my Advent calendar as well. Plus, it’s a clever cover and deserves a second look.

Y: The Last Man #29 “Ring of Truth: Chapter Three”
Brian K. Vaughan, writer
Pia Guerra, artist

Starting with Y: The Last Man #27, Yorrick becomes very sick. His symptoms begin with the sudden onset of vomiting blood followed by unconsciousness (issue #27). He has very vivid dreams, although they don’t appear to be hallucinations (issues #28 and #29). He is placed on oxygen and develops a fever and diarrhea (issues #28 and #29).

After finding an open dented can of tomato soup, Dr. Mann concludes that Yorrick has not contracted the plague, but has instead developed botulism poisoning. However, based on Yorrick’s signs and symptoms, it seems unlikely that he has botulism; I don’t think her diagnosis is too far off though, he most likely has some other form of food poisoning.

Symptoms of botulism start 12 to 36 hours after ingestion of contaminated food. The classic presentation is “bilateral cranial nerve weakness followed by a symmetric descending weakness.” Let’s put that in English. Botulism usually starts with blurry vision, dry mouth and nausea. Vomiting and diarrhea are common. This is followed by difficulty swallowing and speaking. Weakness then spreads to the upper extremities, trunk, and lower extremities. Respiratory weakness may occur as well. Death due to respiratory failure can occur. Fever should not be present.

Food borne botulism is not caused by a bacterial infection, but instead by the ingestion of a toxin in the food. Thus Dr. Mann’s statement that Yorrick’s body “was rejecting the bacillus” is incorrect because the bacteria itself is not directly involved in his condition. Her statement that “it doesn’t look like the toxin bound to any of your nerve endings” is also incorrect because the toxin binding to the nerve endings is what causes the symptoms in the first place. (However, since it isn’t botulism, her last statement is technically correct since there isn’t any toxin present at all).

Botulism is most commonly caused in the United States by improperly preserved home-canned food. It can occur in commercially prepared food, though that’s extremely rare. Even though botulism is rare in acidic foods (like tomatoes), it can pretty much occur in any type of food.

The treatment of botulism is mostly supportive. The symptoms are treated and the body is allowed to (hopefully) recover on its own. While there is a horse-serum anti-toxin available, it has a fairly high risk of an allergic reaction, so it isn’t used much. When it is used, it is first tested on a small patch of skin to test for an allergic reaction. If there is no reaction, the anti-toxin is given both intramuscularly and intravenously. The anti-toxin needs to be given early in the course of the disease to have an effect.

It takes months to completely recover from botulism and some residual weakness may remain.

Dr. Mann did a thorough exam on Yorrick, including a close examination of his eyes. If there were abnormal pupils or eye muscle weakness, she would have seen them. She also would have noticed any muscle weakness. She clearly noticed his fever since she was placing wet cloths on his forehead. The lack of muscle weakness and the presence of a fever make botulism poisoning unlikely. While Yorrick had vomiting and diarrhea, these are common to most types of food poisoning. I agree that he has some sort of food poisoning, but I seriously doubt that it’s botulism.

Notes:
1. For a horse serum anti-toxin, horses are injected with a particular toxin. The horse is allowed to develop antibodies against this toxin. The serum from the blood of this antibody-laden horse is then purified to make the anti-toxin. Because of the other horse proteins in the serum, there is a high risk of allergic reactions.
2. The nasal canula is drawn correctly. Thank you, Pia Guerra!

I think I’ll enter the fray tomorrow. In the meantime, here is some food for thought. (Brought to you by Polite Dissent, where our chief weapon is sarcasm and cynicism…our two weapons are sarcasm, cynicism and ruthless efficiency…our three weapons are sarcasm, cynicism, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to medicine…Amongst our weapons are sarcasm, cynicism…oh, never mind.)

Comic books are not the only things that appeal to children that need to be given a closer look. McDonald’s Happy Meal toys “have a major influence in our society and they should be subject to the same rules that music and movies are being forced to follow.” Color Change Invisible Woman This figure is initially costumed, but when placed in the freezer becomes clear. This is wrong on many levels. First, not only does she become clear, but so do her clothes. Sue Storm is naked under her clothes! What about that name? The Invisible Woman. Clearly this toy is telling children that the only good woman is an “invisible” one. Finally, this supposed children’s toy sadly reinforces the common idea in comics that women belong in household appliances. Violence: 0 Sex: 5 Depravity: 5 Barbie While I am pleased to see a doctor Barbie, I am concerned by her way too-short skirt. I am equally unhappy to see a Barbie dressed in a McDonald’s outfit, reaffirming to children the dangerous idea that a woman’s place is in low paying menial jobs. The only appearance of a male character is a prince; this is clearly sexist and causes young girls to set their sights to high. The Barbie toys are only handed out to female customers, reinforcing sex role stereotyping. Violence: 0 Sex: 4 Depravity: 2 Hulk This overly-buff impossibly-colored character just screams violence — why else would he need muscles that big? When his head is pushed down, his chest compresses all the way down to his knees. This is clearly not normal behavior and is suggestive of all sorts of inappropriate activities. His clothing is way too casual for today’s society. Violence: 5 Sex: 2 Depravity: 5 G.I. Joe War toys are simply not appropriate for children. I don’t care how colorful or fun they are, these so-called “toys” reinforce violent and sexist themes on innocent children. And handing them out as “free” “prizes” in a Happy Meal suggests that war is free of all consequences and a prize to be won. And did I mention the size of those guns! Violence: 5 Sex: 0 Depravity: 3

The Golden Age, where super-heroes sneaking in the window of a small child was considered normal — if not beneficial — behavior. I have to wonder are they leaving presents, or taking some with them? Anyway, the Golden Age Green Lantern, Flash, and Wonder Woman wish everyone a Merry Christmas in Comic Cavalcade #9. (And does Wonder Woman, from the Greek themed Paradise Island, even celebrate Christmas?)

9 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

Short answer:

• I am opposed to labeling comic books.

Longer answer:

• Labels make it too easy to treat comics (or movies or music) as stereotypes, not as individual works. This is a “violent comic,” this is an “erotic comic” or this is a “foreign comic featuring characters with unnaturally large eyes.” People see the label and think they know they all need to about a book. This tendency to label creeps into medicine too, but I had it beat out of me at an early stage in my career.
• Labels are uninformative. Wanted and Watchmen both contain violence and sex and would undoubtedly be labeled as such, but they are as different as night and day.
• Labels are arbitrary. For example, the movie Angel Heart was originally given an X rating. The producers appeased the MPAA board and earned an R rating by cutting 10 seconds of a female backside during a sex scene. Ten seconds! How much did that matter — and it was her back, not even the most interesting part! I could see this quickly degenerating into a number scenario: two acts of violence earns this rating, three to eight violent acts earns this label, and anything over nine — look out!
• Labels serve as a crutch. Too many parents blindly decide that all works with or without certain labels are fine for their children. This is a breach of their parental responsibilities. It is imperative that parents should decide what works are right or wrong for their children. Labels, or some anonymous “label board” should not decide for them. It amazes me that any parent would purchase (or allow their child to purchase) a comic named Deadshot and be surprised that it features violence. These are probably the same parents who are shocked — shocked, I tell you! — that a game titled “Grand Theft Auto” showcases criminal activity.
  Not just parents use labels as a crutch, but businesses as well. Some stores won’t carry titles with a certain label, regardless of the actual content of the work and whether or not the label is actually deserved.
• Labels rarely work. How many news stories have been aired about kids being able to buy games and music rated “mature” without any age check or parents present?
• Labels are aesthetically unpleasing. Where would labels be placed on comic books ? The front is already crowded enough. The back is advertiser territory. The inside? There might be violence or sex on that first page! Who’s going to look inside to find a label, anyway?
• Labels are decided by someone who is not me. I am the most important arbiter of what is right, or not right, for me and my children. Not other people. My views are what count, not theirs.

Oh Richie, you poor little rich boy, how my heart bleeds for you. I wish we all had your problems. I know that poor Richie’s tree is nothing compared to yours at home, but nevertheless, happy holidays from Harvey Comics! Richie Rich #8. (Personally, I subscribe to Bart and Lisa Simpson’s theory that Casper is Richie Rich’s ghost.)

8 Days until Christmas!
click on image for an image of exactly the same size! (But with some more information thrown in..for free!)
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

Why is Richie Rich the “poor little rich boy”? He has a loving family, a loyal pet, good friends and a snappy fashion sense. What is so “poor” about him?

Johanna over at Cognitive Dissonance is hosting another contest. Enter to win the Owly graphic novel or an Owly mini-comic. Details are available at her site.

The Brave and the Bold #181, “Time, See What’s Become of Me…”, presents the final adventure of the Hawk and the Dove. Sort of. It’s a non-canon tale, but still a fascinating read.

It is 1981, twelve years after Hank and Don Hall were granted the power to become Hawk and Dove. Both have gone on to live other lives. Don continues to live as a virtual hippy, working in the state welfare office in Berkeley. His apartment walls are decorated with peace signs and posters of John Lennon. He drives a beat up old VW bug. Hank, on the other hand, lives in a too-expensive condominium with his wife Linda, but isn’t happy with his job, marriage, or life.

In San Francisco, Bruce Wayne has just enjoyed a dinner out with Barry Allen and Hal Jordan. Leaving his friends behind, Batman changes into costume and reveals the reason for his visit to California: tracking down crimelord Thomas Kurland. He plans to find Kurland by following his son Junior, who is in charge of the local heroin trade. Batman spots Junior and another criminal talking on a rooftop. Without warning, an enraged Hawk jumps down upon the criminals from a nearby building. In the ensuing fight, Junior is accidentally knocked off the roof by Hawk and falls to his death. Horrified, Hawk reverts to Hank Hall and runs off, but not before the other criminal spots his real face.

The next day, Don Hall discovers that he been laid off from his job due to budget cuts. Disgusted, he walks home and witnesses a mugging. He changes into Dove but the thugs just laugh at his goofy name — though he does manage to subdue them in the end. Returning home, he gets in an argument with his girlfriend who feels he is always comparing himself to his brother.

As both Kurland and Batman try to track down Hank, he has a fight Linda and nearly hits her. She storms out, leaving him. He changes into Hawk, steals a motorcycle and decides to hunt down Kurland himself.

Proving once again that he’s the “World’s Greatest Detective”, Batman shows up at Don’s apartment and the two of them proceed to track down Hank (driving through town in Don’s VW beetle, of course). Arriving at the hotel where Linda is staying, they find that she has been captured by Kurland’s thugs. Batman and Dove save Linda, but not before Dove nearly gets himself and one of the criminals killed.

Hawk terrorizes one of Kurland’s strip clubs, but is knocked unconscious and taken aboard the crimelord’s boat to be killed and his body dumped at sea. Batman and Dove race towards the boat to rescue Hawk. As Hawk wakes up, the mysterious voice that originally granted him his powers speaks, saying that he is disappointed that neither Hank nor Don learned anything from each other. The voice rescinds their powers, but not before promising Hank that they will meet again one day. Hawk reverts to Hank, and Dove loses his powers as he is underwater planting plastique on the hull of the yacht (explosives are non-violent?). He manages to make it the surface, just barely, and climbs aboard the yacht. Batman and Don rescue Hank and capture Kurland. In the end, Batman lectures the brothers about hate, love and being human (talk about the pot calling the kettle black).

Alan Brennert, who wrote the story, has clearly done his Hawk and Dove homework. There are multiple references to their past exploits — even some of the minor points including Hank’s fear of heights and his stint in the Navy. Like many of the writers who have tackled Hawk and Dove before him, Brennert basically ignores the concept that they can only change into costume while danger is present and has them change whenever the plot requires it.

Jim Aparo does a good job with the art, even recreating the horrid outfits Hank and Don wore in their original appearance in Showcase #75.

The story is considered non-canon for two main reasons. First, it plays fast and loose with “comic book time.” At several points in the story, it is noted that twelve years have passed since Hank and Don gained their powers. However, Hawk and Dove are the only heroes who appear to have aged. They were originally contemporaries of the Teen Titans, yet according to this story they are at least five years older than them now. Second, this isn’t the final appearance of Hawk and Dove. They next appear — as teens again — in Tales of the Teen Titans #50 at Donna Troy’s wedding. This is not to say that this comic has simply been forgotten. Instead, this story is referred to and explained during the Kesel and Kesel run on Hawk & Dove (specifically in Hawk & Dove #25, June 1991).

The back up story in The Brave and the Bold #181 is a Nemesis tale by Cary Bates and Dan Spiegle that continues his quest to rid himself of the “heart stimulator” device. Well, at least I know who Nemesis is now.

Notes:
1. Sadly, Don has reverted to wearing bow-ties again.
2. I’m assuming that Hawk’s wife Linda is the same Linda who appears in The Hawk and the Dove #3. She clearly knows Hank and Don’s secret identities, now referring to Dove as “Don” when he is costume.
3. Eldon, the town where Hank and Don grew up, is revealed to be in Oregon.

Dave, over at Yet Another Comics Blog, is hosting a contest of his own. Actually, it’s more of a pledge drive for the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. He’ll match the donation of the first ten people who sign up as new supporters of the CBLDF. This is a worthy cause, one that I’ve been contributing to myself for the past several years. Help Dave help the CBLDF.

No, it’s not another Marvel mutant title. Instead, it’s a rare Fawcett comic book from 1952. Today’s Advent cover is Xmas Comics #7. See the stocking on the front that looks like green felt? It actually green felt! That’s one of the reasons this title is hard to find in good condition. As the Big Cheese himself says: Here’s wishing you the world’s mightiest Christmas!

7 Days until Christmas!
click on image for an image of exactly the same size! (But with some more information thrown in…!)
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

Nikolai Dante: The Romanov Dynasty is a trade paperback published by DC Comics and 2000 AD that reprints the first several years of the Nikolai Dante stories from the British comics magazine 200 AD.

Set in the year 2666 A.D., the book takes place in the new Imperial Russia. Alternately grim and decadent, the Empire is ruled with an iron hand by Tsar Vladimir the Conqueror. His greatest rivals, the Romanovs, are no less blood-thirsty than the Tsar, and no more ethical. Thrown headfirst into this mix of intrigue is Nikolai Dante, the quintessential scoundrel, rogue and ladies man. He has always managed to stay one step away from the law, until now…

Captured after an ill-timed liaison with an Imperial Seductress, Nikolai is brought in chains before the Tsar. Unexpectedly, Nikolai is not executed on the spot, but instead awarded a commission in the elite Raven Corps. The true reason for this change of fortune is revealed when he is sent on a mission to explore a spaceship that crashed into the Baltic Sea — a ship that just happens to belong to the Romanovs. This ship is carrying the Romanov’s secret weapon, a mysterious technology known as a weapon crest. The crest can only work for a member of the Romanov line. It turns out that Nikolai is the illegitimate offspring of some Romanov somewhere, and the weapon crest bonds to his skin. This turn of events places him squarely between the Tsar and his new “family,” the Romanovs — a place he definitely does not want to be.

There are five full-length adventures in the book, and several shorter ones. I summed up the first adventure already (but rest assured, the book does a much better job). Other full length stories include Nikolai’s mission to the war-torn fiefdom Rudinshtein, his month-long party at the Hotel Yalta, a visit to the Imperial Palace (where he is challenged to a duel on four separate occasions, and did I mention the talking gorillas?), and an escort mission to the prison planet Samovar where he learns some of the truth behind his crest. There are also several shorter stories interspersed between the main ones, usually dealing with failed or otherwise-memorable liaisons.

In addition to Nikolai, the series is populated with many other memorable characters. There is the Tsar and his beautiful and dangerous daughter Jena. There is the unfortunate Arbatov family, who always seem to end up on the wrong side of disputes involving Nikolai. There are the Rasputins, a clan of bearded men and women who base their lives on the infamous “mad monk” Rasputin. Of course there are the Romanovs, including Nikolai’s father and “siblings” — each more depraved than the last. Then there are the talking gorillas — or did I mention them already?

The stories are written by Robbie Morrison and the majority of the art is by Simon Fraser. Other artists include Charlie Adlard, Harry Flint and Spaceboy. The price tag is bit hefty at $19.95, but these stories are otherwise hard for Americans to obtain. If you enjoy swashbuckling space opera, particularly humorous stories involving the occasional R-rated activity, then I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

Heathcliff, Heathcliff, No one should
Terrorize their neighborhood.
But Heathcliff just won’t be undone
Playing pranks on everyone.
– Opening verse from the Heathcliff cartoon show

Ah, the good old days when cartoons on TV weren’t really half-hour long toy ads. Ironically, from the same company that originally brought you GI Joe (the original half-hour commercial) comes that lovable tabby Heathcliff. Today’s Advent countdown cover is Heathcliff #6.

6 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

The Batman was a repeat episode this week, and not a particularly good one. “The Man Who Would be Bat” features Man-Bat, and like Mr. Freeze last week, all the interesting pathos of the character was stipped leaving behind a bland mad-scientist. The new look of Man-Bat is impressive and the title is a modestly-clever pun on Kipling, but that’s really all to recommend in this episode.

The Teen Titans was preempted for a Lego’s Bionicle movie.

“Wake the Dead,” the Justice League Unlimited episode, should have been a lot better. The plot was paper thin and existed solely to bring Hawkgirl back into the Justice League. That’s fine by me, she was a great character and I happily welcome her back, but she deserved a better episode than this one.
It starts out with a trio of stereotypical nerds (and do I mean stereotyped: Tired of getting wedgies, one has stopped wearing underwear. Another asks “Did you forget your dice again?”). The three attempt to summon a demon for revenge, but the spell fails. Somehow, this misfired magic manages to resurrect Solomon Grundy and make him much more powerful than ever before. Green Lantern and his current squeeze Vixen try to stop Grundy, as does Superman, but they all fail.
Meanwhile, Aquaman (hark! is that a contented sigh from the Seattle area?), the Amazo Android and Hawkgirl are all hanging out playing chess in Dr. Fate’s tower. Knowing Grundy is involved, they rush to help the others and see if they can’t reason with Grundy. Sadly, there is no mind left in Grundy; he is all brawn and no brain. It turns out that only Hawkgirl’s Nth metal mace can harm him (because Nth metal was developed to battle the undead, of course), so it’s left to Hawkgirl to solve the problem once and for all.
I’ll admit that the title is clever, as it refers not only to Solomon Grundy but also to “waking” Hawkgirl from her self-loathing. Still, there were too many plot-holes and coincidences for it to be the excellent episode it should have been.

(Once again, Green Lantern continues to be the most stylish member of the League, looking very Luke Cage-ish at the fashion show as he was waiting for Vixen.)

Green Arrow #44 “New Blood Part Five: Positive”
Judd Winick, writer
Phil Hester, penciler

This is the much discussed issue of Green Arrow where it is revealed that Oliver Queen’s ward Mia became infected with HIV while living on the streets as a prostitute. It’s not much of an action issue; it’s really more of a character issue focusing on Mia, Oliver, and Connor.

As was to be expected, Winick’s script gets the details right about HIV and AIDS — including diagnosis, treatment and side effects of the medications.

The worst I can say is that the issue seems overly didactic in parts, but that’s more of a personal nitpick really.

Now that I’ve accused Winick of being didactic, I’m going to commit the same sin. Here are a few quick information bullets about HIV and AIDS (feel free to skip this part):

• HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) is the name of the virus that causes AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome). HIV attacks the CD4 cells, one of the main cells involved in the immune system. Because of this, as the HIV infection progresses, the individual becomes susceptible to more and more illnesses and diseases.
• As Winick pointed out, HIV can be spread by blood transfusion, sexual activity, and intravenous drug use. It can also be spread by needle-stick injuries (medical needles, not sewing or knitting needles) and passed from mother to child during pregnancy or breast feeding. It cannot be transmitted by casual contact, kissing, or mosquito bites.
• Once someone has detectable antibodies to HIV in their blood, they have “seroconverted” and are HIV positive. Originally, physicians could only detect the antibodies to HIV, not the virus itself, and that’s why the blood test looks for these antibodies (unfortunately, it takes about six weeks for a person to make these antibodies after infection with HIV, so there is a brief period of time where a person is infected with HIV and can transmit it, yet will test negative). Recent technology lets us test for the amount of HIV a person has (the viral load mentioned in the comic). In general, the higher the viral load, the more severe the infection.
• A person who is infected with HIV does not necessarily have AIDS. To have AIDS, a person must be HIV positive and have either a low CD4 count or an “opportunistic infection.” Opportunistic infections are rare infections that only strike people with compromised immune systems. Roughly 50% of HIV positive people will develop AIDS within 10 years. The cynic in me wants to point out that the exact definition of AIDS is often more of a political diagnosis than a medical one.

From one kid’s title to another in the Advent cover countdown. With only five days left until Christmas, today’s cover is Dennis the Menace #5.

5 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
(OK, don’t tell Santa, but that’s a fib. Once again, the image is the same size, only with more information added.)
The entire Advent Calendar is available here.

By the time you read this, the Polite-Wife and I will be flying out west to Las Vegas for Christmas with my in-laws. Her entire family lives out there. No really; lots of people actually live in Las Vegas.

I plan on relaxing and catching up on lots of reading, so I’ve brought the past several issues of TCJ, Alter Ego, and Back Issue. To read on the plane, I picked up this book by some guy named Meltzer…I want to see if he writes novels as well as he writes comics (make of that what you will). I’ll also bring along a few medical journals (my Family Practice re-certification is coming up sooner than I would like).

My father-in-law has high-speed internet access, so I should be able to keep the blog updated (and the Advent Calendar, of course), but my e-mail won’t be read until the 26th.

Happy Holidays!!

Tales of the Teen Titans #50 is a double-sized anniversary comic book that observes the marriage of Donna Troy to Terry Long. Held at the palatial Dayton estate (Garfield Logan’s house — at least in the pre-Crisis, pre-Byrne era), the wedding guests included almost everyone who had ever been a member of the Teen Titans. The caveman Gnarrk was the only no-show (but his existence would soon be a moot point with the looming Crisis).

Hank and Don Hall appear at the bottom of a single page, where Donna introduces them to Terry. She presents them as Hank and Don as well as Hawk and Dove — so much for secret identities (although she seems to be introducing Don as Hawk and Hank as Dove). A snide reference is made to their previous appearance in The Brave and the Bold #181:

Terry: Funny, I got the impression you were older.
Hank: Yeah, lately everyone’s been saying that.

This comic can best be described as a celebration — like all weddings should be. There are no super-villains, no nefarious plots and no threats to loved ones. What makes the story all the more poignant is the fact that both Terry and Donna have since suffered completely pointless deaths; Terry and their son Robert died in Wonder Woman #121 and Donna was killed in Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day #3.

This is the final appearance of Hawk and Dove (or in this case, Hank and Don Hall) before Crisis on Infinite Earths, which was to start in a mere six months.

Given my recent fascination with Duela Dent, I thought that I’d throw in her appearance in this comic as well. She gets more lines than the Hall brothers. They get no respect, I tell you.

One of the world’s best guilty pleasures can be summed up in just one word: Peeps

Once only available at Easter, now they are easily found in stores no matter the holiday. it’s probably only a matter of time before Saint Patrick’s Day Shamrock Peeps (or Green Beer Peeps), Groundhog Day Peeps and Arbor Day Tree Peeps are available.

Mmmm, Peeps…

For today’s Advent Comic Book Cover countdown, we have the fairly rare alternate cover version of Street Fighter #4, published at that time by Image. The cover shows the lovely Wendy O. Williams* sizing up a crowd of street urchins for a quick battle royale…to the death!

4 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here

*Yes, I know that the lovely character is not Wendy O. Williams, but instead Liza Minelli**.

**OK, OK I give. It’s really Shelly Winters***, of The Poseidon Adventure fame. Happy now, spoil-sports?

***Would you believe it’s Jennifer Garner? How about Jennifer Tilly? Jennifer Aniston? Jennifer Grey? Jennifer Love Hewitt?****

**** Chun-Li. See, I really do know the right answer even though I was past adolescence when this game came out.

Was it just me, or did anyone else watching this past weekend’s Justice League Unlimited episode “Wake the Dead“ have a flashback to Avengers #503 when Dr. Fate blamed Chaos Magic for resurrecting Solomon Grundy? I half expected Dr. Strange to come bursting through the door of the tower screaming, “There is no such thing as chaos magic!”

Mike Sterling from Progressive Ruin is holding a contest where you can win a copy of the most recent Swamp Thing trade paperback.

I’m not entering the contest because I already have all the issues that are collected in Swamp Thing: Bad Seed. However, if I were to enter the contest, here is what my entry would be, in the form of a soliloquy from the green guy himself:

Lilies…are pretty…but not as pretty…as these roses…just like Andy Diggle…writes well…but not as good…as Alan Moore.

• First is the irrepressible Fred Hembeck’s take on Swamp Thing.
• Second, here’s a nice panel of Swamp Thing in Spanish. (For those of you who don’t have the language skills I do, let me translate. He is saying: All your bases are belong to us.)

Speaking of contests: Don’t forget Johanna’s Owly contest over at Cognitive Dissonance (my entry will be arriving shortly — as soon as I can figure out the archaic graphic and e-mail programs on my father-in-law’s computer).

Beaucoup Kevin is holding a contest as well for the Julius graphic novel. This is a title I’m not familiar with (though I know the source material), so color me interested.

A schizophrenic woman develops a blood cot and is admitted to the hospital. While there, she starts bleeding from her gastrointestinal tract and then is diagnosed with liver cancer. Ultimately, it is discovered that she is not schizophrenic, but instead has a rare condition known as Wilson’s Disease.

I was disappointed by this episode. The pathos element — the poor son, struggling to help his mother — was greatly overdone. Worse, the medicine was not up to its usual high standard. I’m pleased that the team was not dashing from diagnosis to diagnosis this episode, but I found it hard to believe that five brilliant doctors (six if you count the Chief of Staff) missed the obvious fact that the patient did not have schizophrenia. Simply put, 36 year-olds do not develop new-onset schizophrenia; it is a condition that typically starts in the late-teens and early-twenties. This information was telegraphed in the first scene, so I spent the rest of the episode waiting for Dr. House to finally decide that she wasn’t schizophrenic.

Wilson’s Disease, like kuru, is one of those conditions I call a “med school disease.” While it’s true the condition is very rare, it is mentioned over and over and over again in medical school, so it’s unlikely to be missed as long as it was.

There were a couple of other medical problems this episode as well, most dealing with bleeding and clotting — flip sides of the same coin:
1. The patient was low on clotting factors because of her liver failure therefore so she bleeds too easily. If her blood is so thin, then how did she develop the blood clot?
2. A patient with a pulmonary embolus would not be sent home from the Emergency Room on blood thinners. While someone with a deep vein thrombosis can be treated successfully as an outpatient, any patient with a pulmonary embolism is going to be admitted to the hospital, at least for overnight observation (the clots have a tendency to increase in size).
3. Why do the doctors keep running every test themselves? What do a critical care specialist and an immunologist know about performing and interpreting an ultrasound of the liver? That’s what ultrasound technicians and radiologists go to school for.
4. Call me a cynic, but I don’t think someone would get better from Wilson’s Disease that quickly.

This was the second weak episode in a row. So far, the series is ahead 4-2, but seems to be losing some of its early steam.

We’re nearly there! Only three more daysuntil Christmas. My shopping is done (more due to a fortunate stroke of look thatn any advanced planning), is yours? Today’s Advent cover is the Norman Rockwell inspired cover toGoon #3, from the original series.

3 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here

I know other bloggers have aleady mentioned this, but I think it’s important enough to mention again: The Barnes and Noble Holiday Book Drive “Million Books for a Million Children.”

There are several ways of donating books. The first is to visit the actual Barnes & Noble brick-and-mortar bookstore and choose a tag, pick up and buy an appropriate book, and let Barnes & Noble do the rest. You can also make a donation at any Verizon Plus store (which is not necessarily the same thing as a Verizon Wireless store). For those of you far way from any stores, or who are simply too clever to venture out in the shopping anarchy this time of year, you can also contribute a book online. Choose an appropriate book (or books), proceed to checkout, and fill out the address with following information (The donations have to be done separately from any other purchases):

Not sure what books to buy? The Barnes & Noble site has suggestions (look in the upper left- and upper right-hand corners of the page), and here are some suggestions of my own (make sure to read the comments section too).

This information provided by Chris at Matter-Eater-Blog.

Each year, the movie-industry-related children’s charity Variety raises money by selling heart pins. This year’s pins have a Spider-Man theme, so are appropriate for any comics-fan, or really anybody at all. They are offered at most theater chains, so when you decide to relax and see a movie, chip in $2 for a Spider-Man pin.

Pictures of the pins below…
Read more…

Only two days left until Christmas!! Today’s cover was specifically chosen for all you Alf fans out there — and you know who you are. Don’t make me name names. Today’s Advent cover is the the Alf Holiday Special #2.

2 Days until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here

Some Christmas Social Tips, and other Holiday Hints, from Polite Dissent:

• If you plan on wearing a tie, a half windsor knot looks classier than a four in hand.
• A well designed Christmas display should cause neither seizures nor migraines.
• Vodka and tonics should be served with a twist of lemon, not lime.
• Real eggnog does not come in cartons.
• I stilll don’t think the whole Rudolph story is true. Sure, a lighted nose would be helpful when flying at night — with good weather. But in the “worst storm of the century” not even the most powerful halogen lamp is going to allow Santa to see any better in a raging blizzard, let alone a small red nose. I’m skeptical.
• Speaking of Rudolph, please do not sing those ridiculous “between-the-line” lines in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. You may have thought that they were hilarious in kindergarten and first-grade, but they weren’t…not then and not now.
• Despite what your teacher and parents told you, poinsettias are not particulalry poisonous. On the other hand, mistletoe is.
• Bourbon is never an appropriate gift for a three year-old.
• I’m glad you remember that the fifth day of Christmas is “Five Golden Rings,” but when singing, please remember that it’s a Christmas carol, not a college fight song.
• If your power bill doubles during December, then you probably have too many Christmas lights.
• Bumbles bounce.

It looks like I’m going to have to pick up a monthly Superman book for the time in…um…ever.
Newsarama reports that Gail Simone will be the new writer on Action Comics. I’m a big enough fan of her writing that this fact alone sells the book for me. This comment of hers helps as well:

I really want to write stories for people that haven’t ever regularly picked up Superman books. I’d love to see some X-Men readers, or Ultimate readers, or even Birds of Prey readers putting this book on their save lists.

John Byrne is going to be the penciler on the book, and has described himself as “strictly the art robot” — a comment which has earned him some scorn on Fanboy Rampage. Personality quirks aside, I enjoy Byrne’s art. He was the first comic artist whose style was readily identifiable to me.

Looking back over my many years of reading comics, I don’t think that I have never followed an artist from book to book or picked up a comic strictly because of the artist. On the other hand, a good writer I will follow from project to project. It has to be a writer whose work I really enjoy — which definitely means there has to be a good sense of humor in there somewhere. I picked up Captain Marvel because of Peter David, not because I particularly enjoyed the character of Genis (though he did grow on me). I returned to Agent X when Simone returned (and I was already reading Birds of Prey). I was going to pass on the new Spider-Man/Human Torch mini-series until I saw that Dan Slott was writing it. He earned my respect on She-Hulk, so I’ll give this title a chance it wouldn’t otherwise get. I can’t think of any artist I would give that kind of credit.

UPDATE: On the flip side, there is no creator — writer or artist — who I dislike enough to automatically not buy their title. There are certainly some creators (mostly writers) whose works I will have to be convinced to buy, but none I dismiss off the bat.

On another note, I miss the good old days of hand-lettered comics. I know it took longer, but I’m not sure that’s bad thing quality-wise.

David Welsh, writer of the Precocious Curmudgeon, has started a new column on manga over at Comic World News, “Flipped.”
Fully 100% of his columns have been excellent. Admittedly, I’ve only read the first one, but it was a well written with some clever ideas. I didn’t even mention his “manga equals drugs” concept (oops, too late). Kidding aside, he raises some good points and the column is definitely worth reading.

Precocious Curmudgeon is easily one of my favorite blogs*, so I look forward to more of his columns. (Though I do blame much of my ever-shrinking shelf space problem on recent manga acquisitions, and hold David, Johanna and Shawn mostly responsible).

*he had me at “symbolicious.”

The December 2004 issue of Back Issue points out a Hawk and Dove fact that I was completely unaware of: The cover of Hawk and Dove #9 is an almost exact duplicate of The Brave and the Bold #78.

A good issue of an always informative and enjoyable magazine. Pick it up.

Images courtesy of the Grand Comic Book Database

I definitely lack the present wrapping gene. Did you see the episode of American Chopper where all the old grease monkeys were trying to wrap presents? I’m a little better than that, but barely.

Thankfully, the Polite-Wife has the gene in abundance. She also has the succesfully unwrap Scott’s scotch tape bound fingers gene.

I also lack the shopping gene, which she undeniably has. The Polite-Wife is an Olympic-class shopper. I don’t mean that in a bad way. She has always been very conservative and responsible about spending, it is shopping as an art form that she excels at.

Better her than me.

Christmas Eve!! Let’s say that one more time: Christmas Eve!!

Today’s cover represents the second time that Greg from Raw Feed has beat me to the punch on a Christmas cover. I’m sticking with this one regardless. because it sums up my Advent Calendar pretty well: Christmas with the Super-heroes #1.

(Not all of my covers have been super-heroes. In fact just under half (12 of 25) have not been super-hero related. Tomorrow’s Christmas Day cover features no super-heroes, but does touch on another one of my numerous obsessions…)

Only 1 more day until Christmas!
click on image for larger view.

The entire Advent Calendar is available here

Make sure you check out NORAD’s tracking of Santa Claus as he flies around the world on Christmas Eve. If youhaven’t seen it, this site is incredibly clever and well done — and actually made by the people at NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command, for all you non-military types out there. Remember the end of Wargames*? NORAD.

*That’s Wargames, the movie with Matthew Broderick; not the recent Batman cross-over event.

It’s been a nice relaxing trip to Las Vegas. We were able to spend a lot of time with the in-laws, which is always nice. Doubly nice, really, because the Polite-Wife and her mother can go shopping and let me relax, reading on the couch.

Until I dragged her out to the Midwest, my wife had lived her entire life in the Las Vegas Valley. I lived there myself for four years while assigned to Nellis Air Force Base (note to the Green Lantern Rebirth team: Nellis AFB is in Nevada, not New Mexico, and is not connected to Area 51). Though neither of us are big time gamblers or night-life connoisseurs, there is still something unique about living in Las Vegas.

Food, as always, was excellent. The Polite-Wife and did our best to hit our favorite eateries in town. Wednesday night was spent with friends at the Black Mountain Grill, one of my all-time favorite restaurants, anywhere. I had some tuna sashimi, some nicely rare prime rib, and a fresh raspberry creme brulee for dessert. We’ve also hit several of our favorite sandwich shops and will stop for lunch at Memphis Championship Barbecue before we go to the airport.

We’ve been able to catch up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time. After our sojourn to Black Mountain Grill, we traveled a couple of blocks south on Eastern and landed at Buffalo Wild Wings. The rest of the night was spent there with more friends, some Guinness (Amaretto Di Saronno for the wife), and NTN trivia (and for the record I was 5 for 6 wins, with one second place finish).

No trip to Las Vegas is complete without a visit to Alternate Reality, my favorite comic shop. It’s easy to find and is located directly across from UNLV. Ralph stocks a large variety of mainstream titles and manga, and has the most complete indy and small-press section I’ve ever encountered. It was nice to be recognized when I walked in, even though I hadn’t been there in a year and a half. I purchased (too) many comics and trade paperbacks, including Me and Edith Head, Temporary, Love is a Foreign Language, the next volume of Preacher and the first two volumes of The Walking Dead. The Polite-Wife picked up (with help from me — wink,wink) volume 6 of Love Hina, volume 5 of Sgt. Frog, and the first volume of INVU. Out nephew came along with us, and we bought the Ultimate Spider-Man, volume 3, for him.

Given its location and population, Las Vegas supermarkets stock some excellent Mexican and Asian foods, something severely lacking in the Midwest. I picked up several packages of fresh chili powder and some miso soup mix. Mmmm.

While there are thing I miss about living in Las Vegas, there is no doubt that I am a small town Midwesterner at heart. The traffic was appalling and the non-stop construction can get frustrating. I also like yards and gardens and real trees. The neighborhood Christmas light displays put any other town to shame, though.

Tonight, we fly back to our house in Illinois and reassure the cats that we’re still alive. Early tomorrow morning we pack up our remaining presents, the cats, and drive down to St. Louis to spend Christmas Day with my folks.

Christmas!!

I think today’s cover really speaks for itself. Christmas, NASCAR, Richard Petty, Bill Elliot, Bobby Allison and Santa Claus — what’s there not to like? This is Vortex Comic’s The Lwgends of NASCAR Christmas Special.

Christmas Day!
click on image for larger view.
The entire Advent Calendar is available here

I’d like to acknowledge Dave at Yet Another Comics Blog and Greg at Raw Feed for their excellent Advent Calendars!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!

I hope everyone had a good Christmas! I’m down in St. Louis with my not-even-dial-up-access parents, so this will probably be it today in terms of posting.

I’m just going to relax, read some good books and comics, eats lots of rich food, and watch hours of bad TV. Here’s wishing you the same!

Are there any song lines that you find particularly irritating? It could be a poor choice of words, horrible grammar, bad rhyming or anything that just rubs you wrong. I’m not talking about songs that are themselves annoying, but particular lines within songs.

Here are the two song lines that probably annoy me the most.

• First, from Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A. is this clunker of a line:

  There ain’t no doubt I love this land

  Not only does it commit the grammatical carnal sin of using the word ain’t, but it includes it within a double negative. Once, this was a good song with expressive imagery, but now it is so diluted that it’s lost any power. Regardless, this line has always made me cringe.

• Second, from the Uncle Kracker song Follow Me is a line that I find too descriptive:
  

  And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea

  Hearing this line causes me to picture tiny fish actually swimming through a person’s veins, like a bad science-fiction or horror movie. Frankly, it gives me the creeps. Otherwise, I like this song.

Fox showed 2 episodes of House back to back tonight, most likely an attempt to make up for the pitiful episodes of the last two weeks (there should still be a new episode tomorrow).

These were 2 of the better episodes, certainly from the ethics point of view, if not from the medical aspect. My previous ruminations on these episodes can be found here:

• House – Episode 2
• House – Episode 4

In the Polite household we always open the stockings before the big presents. Over the years, these smaller stocking gifts have become light-hearted and humorous presents — and one of the best parts of Christmas morning. Everybody seems to have a theme. The Polite-Wife always gets cat tchotchkes such as magnets, notepads, pencils and picture frames. My mother always gets purple gifts. The Polite-Sister, a marine biologist, always gets gifts with clownfish on them (this has more to do with the tattoo on her ankle than her choice of preofession). I, on the other hand, always seem to get super-hero themed gifts. In addition to the Spider-Man pens, sticky wall crawler and temporary tattoos, there were a couple of gifts that stood out this year.

There was the Spider-Man Make-A-Cookie-Face kit. With this gift, I can make twelve cookies with Spider-Man’s face on them. I may be in trouble though, the first line of instructions on the back of the package states: First, ask a grown-up to help you.
Wonder where I could find one?

Towards the bottom of the stocking, I found a small Spider-Man ornament, followed by a Captain America ornament, an Iron Man ornament and a Wolverine ornament. Suddenly, it dawned on me: I had the New Avengers, only in ornament form. Now if I could just find a Spider-Woman and Luke Cage ornament…

Sleuth is a great family game. It is a fairly straightforward mystery game — basically an advanced version of Clue. There are 36 gems cards which are divided into four colors (yellow, green, red and blue), three gemstones (opals, diamonds and pearls) and three denominations (single, pair and cluster). One gem card is hidden and the rest are dealt out among the players.

Each player is also dealt four cards from the question desk. Each turn they can ask a question from one of their cards to another player, to determine which cards that player has. The questioner gets to see the cards (if any) which answer his question, while the other players simply hear the number. For example, Player A might ask how many “opal pairs” does Player B have? Player B would announce “one” and show this card to Player A. Thre rest of the players don’t get to see the card, but may be able to deduce what it is based on past guesses. Player A now draws another question card, and the play passes to next plater. Slowly, though logic, a player is able to determine which card is missing and win the game.

A new version of Sleuth has recently been released. I would recommend tracking down one of the original editions because the cards are less busy and easier to read.

I’m going to take an idea that Rose suggested and run with it. Comic books are filled with numerous transfusion scenes — some are good, most are horrible. Along with my usual medical reviews (and other miscellaneous posts), I will be taking a closer look at these transfusion scenes.

I’ve already taken a swipe at Spider-Man in the Amazing Spider-Man #10-33 and the Sins Past storyline.

Later this evening, I’ll post a review of the well done “What’s the Color of Your Blood?” from Our Army at War #160.

Future reviews will include the Superman gang in Superman #6, Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #17, and Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane #106 (the infamous “I am Curious (Black)” issue). The Banner family and friends will also be examined closely in the Incredible Hulk #420 and the Savage She-Hulk #1.

As my knowledge of Silver and Golden Age comic stories is quite limited, I’ll be happy to take any other suggestions (Bronze Age and modern comics are fine too.) Just post a story in the comments or e-mail it to me at the address in the right-hand corner.

There’s probably Spoilers down there, so be careful.

This was a good episode of House. It almost, but not quite, made up for the bad episodes of the last two weeks. The medical mystery was interesting and at least remotely plausible. There were several classic moments of House being House. There was a moral concept — adultery — underlying the episode, and there were no easy answers.

Dr. Cameron’s back story continues to evolve, as does that of Dr. Wilson (wives?)

The patient’s possible diagnoses, Paraneoplastic Syndrome, Tularemia and African Sleeping Sickness, were all likely candidates. A little bit of unneeded testing was done, but not as much as in previous episodes.

As the doctors point out, Chloramphenicol is a nasty drug. But why use it in the first place when there are many better options for treating tularemia? Melarsoprol, the drug used to treat late-stage sleeping sickness, is also a very nasty drug, but not quite as dangerous as the show made it out to be.

Let me just say that I wish my clinic patients were always as interesting as Dr. House’s (and while beta-blockers commonly cause impotence, they rarely affect the libido itself.)

Returning to a long-running complaint: I wish the young guns would stop doing everybody else’s job. Not only do they run an MRI this week (with way too many air bubbles in the contrast injection) and perform a mammogram, but Dr. Cameron takes over the Health Department’s job as well in the last scene.

Our Army at War #160 “What’s the Color of Your Blood?”
Bob Kanigher, script
Joe Kubert, pencils

Jackie Johnson is a haunted man. Before the war, he had been the world heavyweight boxing champion. He lost his title in a vicious bout with the German boxer “Storm Trooper” Uhlan. Now he finds himself a member of Sgt. Rock’s Easy Company. Although he is deep in the European theater of operations, he still has nightmares about his loss to the German and harbors dreams of a rematch.

While on reconnaissance, Jackie, Sgt. Rock and Wild Man are captured by a German patrol. This patrol contains none other than “Storm Trooper” Uhlan himself who immediately challenges Jackie to another fight to prove once again that the Germans are the master race. As he pummels Jackie over and over, he keeps asking him, “What is the color of your blood?”
Hoping to spare the lives of Rock and Wild Man, Jackie doesn’t put up much of a defense at first. Finally, Jackie realizes that he has no choice but to fight back. He punches Uhlan again and again, knocking him out. Enraged, the rest of the German patrol open fire on both competitors as well as Rock and Wild Man. Luckily, the rest of Easy Company was just around the corner and manages to save their comrades. Jackie, Rock and Wild Man all escape serious injury, but Uhlan was shot up badly. He needs a transfusion to survive, but the medic is out of plasma — only a donation of whole blood can save him. Jackie donates his blood to Uhlan, proving once and for all to the German that Jackie’s blood was red.

The story is entertaining without being overly preachy, and Kubert’s art, as always, is excellent. Many reprints are available, most notably in the America At War trade paperback (the source I used), and Sgt. Rock Special 1988 #6.

In the past I have been critical of comics that show plasma being used for emergency resuscitation. This is because plasma has a very limited use in the modern emergency setting. “Modern” is the key word here. Medical care was vastly different in Word War II and plasma was the blood product of choice.

I am surprised that the medic only inquired about type B blood, and did not specify B-positive or B-negative. Doctors and medics were aware of the rhesus (Rh) factor by this time, and it was known to be a main cause of transfusion reactions. I am also a little unsure of the transfusion apparatus pictured in the story; I can’t find any good information about such battlefield transfusions during WWII, so I’ll give Kubert the benefit of the doubt (for now).

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but rashes have always intrigued me. How can the skin behave is so many peculiar ways? It’s fascinating stuff.

I’m always pleased when there is a patient with the chief complaint of “rash” on my schedule, and today was no exception. I knew the patient well; he was a fun two-and-a-half year-old with good parents.

The medical assistant checked the family in and then brought me the chart.
“What’s the rash look like?” I asked.
“It looks like worms,” she said.
“It looks like he has worms under his skin?” I said, wondering were a Midwest toddler would contract cutaneous leismaniasis.
“No,” she hurriedly corrected. “It’s a flat red rash on his arms and legs that’s all twisty and turny like a worm.”

I entered the exam room. The patient was sitting in his mom’s lap, flipping through one of the comics I keep in the room. He was playful and happy (always a good sign) and seemed to have a slight runny nose. The back of his forearms and the front of his legs showed a prominent lacelike deep red rash. It had a definite serpiginous quality to it, and I could see why my medical assistant would think of worms. There was no evidence of scratching, and other than the rash and the runny nose, the patient looked good.

“It started about four days ago,” his mother said. “At first his cheeks looked bright red, like they were wind-chapped. That faded and now this rash appeared on his arms and legs/”

There was no doubt about this rash: it was a classic presentation of the common viral illness Erythema Infectiosum, better known as Fifth Disease or Slapped Cheek Disease. Caused by Parvovirus B19, it is generally a very mild illness that doesn’t require any treatment. A child infected with Fifth disease usually develops bright red cheeks early in the course of the infection. These fade and an unmistakable lacelike rash shows up on the limbs and trunk several days later. Minor cold-like symptoms are common. The only real risk occurs if a pregnant woman is exposed to the disease, because the virus can cross the placenta to the fetus.

The derivation of the name Fifth disease is interesting. Back in the old days (the old old days — when germ theory was just being formulated), many physicians had noticed that while rashes sometimes appeared on their own, they were often associated with sickness. These illness associated rashes occurred in two broad categories. The first was the pox diseases — chickenpox, smallpox and cowpox. The second category was “everything else.” Not knowing what else to do, they took this group of diseases and numbered them, one through six. Over time, the number designations have given way to more common names, except for erythema infectiosum, which is still better known as Fifth disease.

images scrounged from the web and do not show my patient

The Savage She-Hulk #1 “The She-Hulk Lives!”
Stan Lee, writer
John Buscema, artist

Do you ever wonder where it all began? When did meek Jennifer Walters become the lovable She-Hulk? Well, fret no longer — your answers are here.

There are definitely some medical mistakes in this comic, but nothing too atrocious. The plot holes on the other hand — those are horrid.

As the story begins, Bruce Banner is in Los Angeles to visit his cousin, lawyer Jen Walters, hoping that she can help him with his “problem” (presumably he wants to sue the Hulk.) While driving to her house, he tells her how he became the Hulk and she fills him in on her latest case. She is defending a street punk accused of shooting a mob boss’s bodyguards. Jen believes that her client is innocent and that mob boss killed his own bodyguards. She has spread the rumor that she knows a big secret in order to draw the boss out of hiding.

Her plan has a major flaw in the form of the three thugs who are waiting for her at her house. As she steps out of the car, she is shot in the back. Bruce tumbles out of the car and grabs a nearby garden hose, figuring, “I’ve seen cops use it — for riot control!” He sprays it at the crooks and drives them away (Drives them off with a garden hose? That should only make them wet and very very annoyed.)

He drags Jen inside the house and realizes:

She’s dying! Lost too much blood! Only a transfusion can save her!

I would agree with Bruce that replacing Jen’s lost blood is important, but I would point out that stopping the bleeding is even more important.

Stating that he can’t wait for an ambulance, Bruce picks Jen up and runs out the door, looking for a doctor’s office. That’s right, instead of waiting the few minutes for an ambulance to arrive (or driving to the hospital himself), Bruce decides to carry the bleeding Jen all over a residential neighborhood looking for a doctor’s office. In a fit of coincidence, he finds a doctor’s office — right across the street.

Ignoring the locked door, he breaks in and scrounges up some transfusion equipment. Bear in mind that no normal doctor’s office is going to have transfusion paraphernalia; it’s very specialized equipment. If by some chance they did have the equipment, they’d also be storing some blood — for what’s the point of having transfusion equipment without blood?

Somehow, he manages to transfuse his blood into her, and then he sits and waits.

It’s done! Now for the worst part — the waiting!

What’s he waiting for exactly? For Jen to bleed out again because he never stopped her bleeding in the first place?
Jen regains consciousness and Bruce takes a minute to call the authorities. Instead of calling for an ambulance immediately, or while sitting there waiting, he puts off calling for help until she starts showing signs of recovery? That kind of defeats the whole purpose of calling for help, doesn’t it?

Jen is rushed to the hospital and Bruce is taken in for questioning. Before the District Attorney can arrive, he changes into the Hulk and escapes.

Meanwhile, Jen is resting in her hospital bed when the three hoods who shot her come into her room dressed as doctors. They try to drug her but she changes into She-Hulk and not only captures them, but gets them to squeal on the mob boss. She returns to her room (actually, the room next to hers — her room was destroyed in the brawl) just in time to change back to plain Jen Walters.

I’m confused about this whole “transfusion from Bruce Banner causes Jen Walters to change into She-Hulk” concept. Is Bruce’s blood radioactive? Does he set off Geiger counters? Since blood cells only circulate for an average of three months, why is his blood still radioactive this long after his accident? Finally, since it has been revealed that the Hulk is a physical manifestation of Bruce’s multiple personality disorder, does this mean that Jen suffers from the same serious and very rare condition? Did she have an abusive father who killed her mother too?

So what do you think Matt Murdock is thinking in this “photo” realistic cover to Daredevil #67?

A) I should have stopped making movies after Chasing Amy.
B) Mr. Gandolfini please untie me. I promise I’ll never tell anybody that we were in a movie together ever again.
C) Sorry Kevin, I promise I’ll go on your next press junket.
D) You’re right, Jennifer. Alias is a much better show than 24.

Or am I the only one who think the Matt Murdock on this cover resembles Ben Affleck way too much?

Invaders #5 “Blood, part 2”
Allan Jacobesen, writer
C.P. Smith, penciler

If the story takes place in England, then why are all the units of blood clearly marked “American Red Cross?”
(Reminds me of the scene in Die Hard 2, where John McCane is making a call from a pay phone in Dulles Airport — in Washington D.C. — yet the phone is labeled “Pacific Bell”)

UPDATE: Transfusion Confusion: Spitfire has 6 bagsof blood being tranfused into her, 3 into the palmar aspect of each wrist. This is not going to work. Blood needs to be transfused into a major vessel, not a small one, and certainly not three untis (per wrist) at the same time. On the other hand, they’re vampires — so what do they know about tranfusions?

• More medical reviews than ever, including
• A look at Manga — medically. Starting with a few choice vignettes from Sgt. Frog
• Transfusion Confusion continues!
• A closer look at the Siver Age. Just how good a volunteer nurse was Lois? And could Virus X really give Superman Krytonian leprosy, even though leprosy is a bacterial disease?
• An all Dr. Mid-Nite (and Dr. Midnight and Dr. Mid-Nite) week
• An all Superman Family Week
• The Hawk and Dove chronology picks up speed. Coming next is Crisis on Infinite Earths, a series that will change the team forever (cue ominous music).
• The first Polite Dissent contest — with loads of exciting prizes. Coming soon!
• Guilty Pleasures galore!
• Flashback Week, a look back at the medical comic books of the 1950s and ’60s, will return this summer
• More Zatanna — naked! (Just kidding — no naked magicians here — just a tease for the search engines. Although we do have the ever popular Zatanna in culottes.)
• More obscure Monty Python references than ever before (and thanks again to the Polite-Wife for the complete boxed set of Monty Python’s Flying Circus on DVD — something I’ve wanted for years!) Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
• Conventions: I plan on attending Millennicon in Ohio in March. I doubt I’ll attend Wizard World Chicago this year because we already have plans that week, and it was too big and “corporate” for my tastes. I am considering Dragon-Con (my sister has moved to Atlanta), Mid-Ohio Comic Con (it was a lot of fun the last time we went) and the Baltimore Comic-Con