Polite Dissent

Without further ado, I present:

This ongoing project will list all the fictitious drugs, medications, serums and formulas that have played a role in comic book storytelling. It’s a little crude now, but as time goes on I’ll jazz it up, CSS it, add more entries and add more pictures (assuming I can find the comics I’m looking for).

Suggestions and corrections are always welcome, just e-mail me at the address in the upper right.

Everybody reading this, I want you to head over and donate just a few dollars to Laura’s 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. If everyone who reads this blog can find just a buck or two to give, she’ll soon surpass her goal. If you donate $15, you’re eligible for some nice prizes Laura is offering.

Here’s a handy donation guide:

• If you’ve picked up a Liefeld, Pulido or Balent comic in the last year and considered buying it: $10
• If you actually bought the comic: $20
• For each issue of World Watch you bought: $15
• If you think Aquaman’s blue suit was cooler than his orange one: $10
• If you put together the final issue of Promethea: $15
• For each “Heroes Reborn” Marvel Comic you own: $2
• If you can name each Blackhawk and their country of origin: $20
• If you support Rann: $20
• If you support Thanagar: $15
• If you’re weasling out by staying neutral: $30

The Polite-Wife and I are back from a brief — yet very nice — pre-weekend getaway. Thursday night we were in Chicago to see the musical Wicked at the Oriental Theater.

It was an excellent show; the best musical I’ve seen in quite a while (much better than The Producers). The sets and costumes were well done and the singers, particularly Elphaba and Fiyero, were perfect. I liked the way the musical alluded to both The Wizard of Oz movie and book (for instance, the guards costumes were right out of the movie, but the slippers were the book’s silver — not the movie’s ruby).

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Wicked, it’s based on a book of the same name by Gregory Maguire. This book takes a look at the events leading up to and including The Wizard of Oz from the Wicked Witch’s point of view. That’s a gross oversimplification of the story, but it gives you the general idea of the theme.

Like most of the best musicals, it’s not always a happy story, but it’s one that’s well worth watching. We’ll definitely see it again, and this time try to sit a little closer to the stage than our balconey seats last night. If you like musical theater at all, I highly recommend Wicked.

As you can see, my Hawk and Dove action figures arrived today. I wonder what Steve Ditko thinks of them as plastic toys? Probably not what he had in mind when he helped create them. Now if I can just find some blocks and some shadow demon figures, I can recreate scenes from Crisis on Infinite Earths…

Not quite as geeky as the Cloak and Dagger busts, but close.

This week’s Justice League Unlimited episode, the Gail Simone penned “Double Date”, was a fun half-hour featuring returning favorites Green Arrow, Black Canary and Question plus new favorite the Huntress.

The first scene where two mob enforcers are discussing the proper way to cook scones let’s the viewer know that Simone’s trademark humor would be in this episode, and there were several laugh out loud moments (plus a great deal of action) throughout the show.

The Huntress is after Mandragora, the mobster who killed her parents. Mandragora, however, in is federal custody (King Faraday’s, to be precise) because he claims he’s turning State’s evidence. In addition to the federal agents, Black Canary and Green Arrow are also assigned to guard him. Meanwhile, the Huntress cons the Question into helping her find Mandragora so she can kill him. Arrow and Canary intercept the Huntress and Question and stop them from killing Mandragora. During the battle, he manages to escape from custody and both sets of heroes track him down, and both manage to find him at the same time. I can’t say more without spoiling the ending.

Amy “Fred” Acker provided the voice for the Huntress, making this episode an all Joss Whedon episode for the female voice actors (Morena “Inara” Baccarin provides the voice of the Black Canary).

I didn’t get a chance to say anything about last week’s episode, the Hawkgirl-Wonder Woman buddy flick “The Balance.” It was an enjoyable half-hour, but it’s clear Faust isn’t much of a tactical thinker when he sends his second worst enemy to the place where his worst enemy is chained up, apparently never considering the fact that his enemies will join forces and he’ll be facing his two worst most powerful enemies together. No great loss to villainy there.

While many genres of music deal with love (and sometimes the lack of love), country music is unique in addressing the theme of after “happily ever after.” Common themes include marriages, divorces, children, bad jobs and adultery.

This perfectly describes the “Five Years After” Legion of Super-Heroes. That series is the country music of comic books. Marriages, both good and bad? Yes. Bad jobs? Yes. Children? Yes. Adultery? Probably (Who was that with Gim? Was it Yera in disguise or somebody else?)

To stretch a metaphor, what about the other Legion series? Can they be explained by musical genres as well?

The earliest Legion of Super-Hero appearances were like the pop music of the fifties and sixties: fun and with some memorable tunes, but most were forgotten as quickly as they were done.

As the Legion matured during the seventies, they moved more towards the rock of the era. Mostly sensible music, with occasional diversions into psychedelia and disco. This rock theme continues through their first series (when Superboy changed names) and their second series (the Baxter series). Towards the end of the Baxter series, Adult Alternative became the theme, with the Legion facing marriage and parenthood, yet still there was a hopeful outlook overall.

Then came the third Legion series, “Five Years After,” and country music. All this maturity and moroseness didn’t sit well with the audience, and a batch of younger legionnaires were introduced into continuity. Their adventures seemed to bring back the pop rock feeling of the earliest Legion appearances in Adventure.

The whole continuity was rebooted with Zero Hour with a retelling of the Legion’s history from the very beginning. This series started as light rock and then progressed to heavier rock, but it was like listening to an entire album of cover tunes. There was often a sensation of “been there, done that” particularly at the beginning of the run. By the end of the series, the stories had turned to grunge rock. Darker and more complex, but like grunge, it had the distinct tendency to become a parody of itself.

This “grunge-ness” continued through the follow-up series Legion Lost and Legion Worlds.

I can’t really pinpoint a particular musical genre on the recently canceled Legion series as it struggled throughout its brief run to find an identity and a theme. It’s probably best described as one of those radio stations that plays a little bit from every genre, so as not to offend anyone (but to bore many).

It’s too soon to pin a definite theme on the latest Legion of Super-Heroes incarnation, but with its reinvention of established characters I’m leaning toward college/alt rock with a dash of ’60s rebellion rock (don’t trust anyone over thirty).

I’m probably stretching on most of those, but I can say for sure that “Five Years After” = Country Music.

I walked into the break room at work today and there it was: a 2-liter bottle of Vernor’s Ginger Ale. It was my dad’s favorite soda, so I grew up on it. Sadly, I hadn’t been able to find Vernor’s since I moved away from Indiana six years ago. Now here it was, staring me in the eye.

Vernors is no ordinary ginger ale — due to a happy accident of history, it’s aged in oak barrels so it has a definite smokey kick to it.

While not as rare as it used to be, it’s still hard to find in all too many areas of the country.

Sure, it’s an acquired taste, but for my money, it’s the best ginger ale there is.

Grand Rounds XXXVII has been posted over at MedGadget. Grand Rounds is the weekly compilation of the best of medical blogging. As always, there’s some great posts, so check it out when you have a minute.

A time of darkness will there be; Of great distress on land and sea! Find thyselves and thou wilt find me – The secret lies in these keys three!

Name which comic this came from, who they were supposed to “find,” and who exactly had the three keys…

Sorry for the lack of a proper post today. It’s a little hectic here in the Polite Household. The Wife is off to the Left Coast for her annual visit to her folks while I remain behind and hold down the fort. Other news on the homefront/jobfront too, but that’ll have to wait for tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow: answers to yesterday’s trivia question and I’ll resume my Hawk & Dove review, picking up with the Kesel and Kesel (and Liefeld mini-series).

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Just so you don’t go away completely empty handed, here’s a nice comic book ad from 1968, back when there was still an AFL…

The Micronauts were a team of heroes from a microscopic universe known as (wait for it) the Microverse. It was really not another universe as much as it was a microscopic solar system. However, unlike a normal solar system consisting of several planets orbiting a sun, the Microverse consists of about two dozen planets strung together like a molecule. Through an intricate process, people from the Microverse could cross over into our universe, but were only six inches tall.

The Micronauts were led by Commander Rann¹, a hero from a previous era who was able to wield the powerful and mysterious “Enigma Force” – said to be the power of the Microverse itself. Their other leader was Marionette², a princess of Homeworld, the ruling planet of the Microverse. Other members of the team included Acroyear³, the king of the warrior planet Spartak, and a bipedal insect named, um, Bug⁴. Acroyear’s wife Celicia⁵ sometimes joined them on missions. There were also two robots, Microtron and Biotron (though Biotron had been destroyed by the time these stories took place).

The “Keys” storyline takes place immediately after the Micronauts’ defeat of Baron Karza and Hydra⁶. During that storyline, Rann had been captured by Karza and had the Enigma Force stolen from him. To defeat Karza, Acroyear had sacrificed his planet. At the end of the battle, Commander Rann was in a catatonic state and Acroyear was a traitor to his people.

In Micronauts #29, the remaining Micronauts journey into Rann’s brain under Doc Samson’s direction. For some unknown reason, the two sides of his brain have stopped communicating. Inside, the team encounters the cause for Rann’s condition: Nightmare. They break down the wall between the two sides of Rann’s brain, driving Nightmare away, but leaving behind an obelisk inscribed with a strange verse.

A time of darkness will there be; Of great distress on land and sea! Find thyselves and thou wilt find me — The secret lies in these keys three!

In Micronauts #30 the team takes care of some business on Homeworld. Acroyear leaves the team to track down his people and Pharoid, king of a desert planet, joins in his stead. The Micronauts then journey to the aquatic world of Oceania to investigate the strange happenings in their main city of Seazone. Lady Coral, the daughter of the leader of Seazone tells the ‘Nauts about the earthquakes that have been striking Seazone and the sea monsters that have been appearing in increasing numbers. She also mentions her brother Aquon, who disappeared mysteriously. While exploring the area, Commander Rann and Marionette are swallowed by a giant fish.

The team continues the search for the missing Rann and Marionette in Micronauts #31. Along the way, they battle sea monster after sea monster. They also encounter Aquon, now changed into a merman and seeming leader of the sea monsters. He explains that a mysterious stranger changed him into his current form and gave him a mystic key. This stranger charged him with protecting the inhabitants of Seazone. It turns out that the sea monsters were not attacking the city, but trying to help. Just then, a devastating quake hits Seazone and Aquon uses the key to change everyone into mermen and mermaids⁷. Once the quake is over, Aquon changes the Micronauts back to their original form and gives the key to them so they can continue their quest.

Micronauts #32 takes the team to the ice world Polaria. Like Oceania, Polaria is also being racked with natural disasters. A mysterious large white polar bear has been seen prowling around the city recently as well. The queen of Polaria is quiet, subdued, and recommending no action. This doesn’t sit well with one of her nobles, Prince Peacock, who is convinced that the strange bear is responsible for the disasters. He hunts it down and manages to slay it, only to discover that the bear was really his beloved Queen. Like Aquon, she had been given a magical key by a mysterious stranger, but unlike Aquon, she was unable to save her city. Leaving the doomed city behind, the Micronauts take the key and continue on their journey.

Acroyear takes center stage in Micronauts #33. He’s still wandering around the Microverse, looking for his refugee people. Along the way, he’s not only burned a “T” in his forehead (for traitor) but become blinded by a comet. He stumbles into a strange city in the jungle world of Tropica, a city populated by a race of pink-furred satyrs. These creatures are obsessed with the which-cup-is-the-pea-under game. It turns out that many years ago, a mysterious stranger arrived and taught this game to them, telling them that the future of the Microverse was revealed in the game. They’ve been playing nonstop ever since. Acroyear and his new found pink-furred friend Devil discover three giant cups hidden on top of the city. True to his warrior heritage, Acroyear doesn’t try to solve the game, but instead smashes the cups and discovers the third key.

The team returns to Homeworld in Micronauts #34 only to discover that the ruler of Homeworld and bother of Marionette, Prince Argon has become evil and wants the power of the keys for himself. This sets up double-sized Micronauts #35 where the Micronauts battle Prince Argon and his dog soldiers on an abandoned cemetery world. Doctor Strange appears and assists the Micronauts in defeating not only Argon but also the mysterious wraiths which have been behind all the natural disasters. Millennia ago on Earth, the heroes of a remote land were under attack by these evil wraiths. These people, who bore a strong resemblance to the gods and heroes of Hindu legend, realized that they could not defeat the wraiths outright. They used the power of the mystic Sunsword to magically create a new universe – the Microverse – to which they fled. These heroes became the founders of the different planets of the Microverse and the magic of Sunsword became the Enigma Force. With the help of Dr. Strange, the Micronauts reactivate the Sunsword and restore balance to the Microverse, averting the disasters. They then flee to Earth to escape Argon, setting up the next (extended) Micronauts storyline.

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NOTES
¹Commander Rann was based on the Space Glider figure. It was a metal figure that came with a removable plastic helmet and a backpack with wings that would spring out when the button was pushed. It makes sense he was the leader because he was one of the coolest toys, mostly because of the wings.
²Sorry, there were no females in the Micronaut toy line.
³The toy Acroyear was “The Enemy of the Micronauts” so as a loyal toy collector I was incensed that the comic had made him a good guy. I have to admit he was a good character though; a proto-Worf. There was also a toy known as “Acroyear II” – this character was represented in the comic as Shaitan, the evil brother of Acroyear. I had an Acroyear II once but it disappeared. Months later I found it (and several other missing toys) on a shelf in a friend’s room. On second though, make that “friend.”
⁴The writers of the Micronauts gave Bug the annoying speaking habit of making a “tik” sounds every few words. Sample dialogue: “Pharoid! Microtron! –tik– Help! Fish-ridin’s even worse than –tik– flyin’!” They explained it away as the clickingof his species’ vocal cords. That didn’t explain why he still said –tik– in though balloons!
A few years ago, there was a Bug one-shot. In it, Bug battled a miniature Annihlus and managed to inadvertently cause the origins of every Marvel super-hero (for instance, he caused the truck carrying radioactive material to swerve, leading to Matt Murdock becoming Daredevil).
⁵No toy for her. No female Micronaut toys, remember.
⁶Remember when Hydra used to be a threat?
⁷Are older mermaids (or married ones) known as mer-matrons?

Once again, pregnancy and child-bearing has become an issue in comics, thanks to Avengers Disassembled and now House of M. I figured this would be a good time to take another look at the list of Comic Book Pregnancies.

Heroes:
ADAM STRANGE
1. Alanna dies during childbirth.

ANIMAL MAN
1. Annie was pregnant and gave birth in the last issues of the series.

AQUAMAN
1. Dolphin and Garth (Tempest) had a son, Cerridan.
2. Mera’s pregnancy happened “off camera”.

AVENGERS
1. Scarlet Witch’s pregnancy was shown in the Scarlet Witch and the Vision mini-series, though her twins were later ret-conned out of existence. This led her to become murderously insane and now crossover-miniseries-murderously insane.
2. Ms. Marvel was pregnant*

BATMAN COMICS
1. Spoiler was pregnant and gave her child up for adoption in Robin; she later died during Wargames.
2. Francine (Man-Bat’s wife) was pregnant in Batman in the 1970’s.
3. Batman and Talia had a son in the more-or-less non-canon Son of the Demon (though the pregnancy was pretty much “off screen”

FANTASTIC FOUR
1. Sue Richards had Franklin, and then lost her second pregnancy. A magical/time-stream induced third pregnancy recently gave the Richards a daughter, Valeria.
2. Lyja Storm was pregnant and gave birth to an egg.
3. Crystal and Pietro (Quicksilver) have a daughter Luna. Reed Richards (apparently an obstetrician in his spare time) delivered the baby.

FLASH
1. Iris was pregnant with twins at the time that the silver age Flash (Barry Allen) died.
2. Linda West lost twins due to an attack by Zoom. There is some question as to whether she’ll be able to become pregnant again.

INCREDIBLE HULK
1. Betty Banner was pregnant, but miscarried.

IRON MAN
1. Pepper Potts was pregnant, but miscarried.

JLA
1. Sue Dibny was pregnant when she was killedin Identity Crisis #1

JSA
1. Hawkgirl was pregnant as a teenager and gave the child up for adoption.
2. Dove was raped by Hank Hall (Hawk) and later gave birth to a child who ultimately ended up housing the soul of the new Dr. Fate, Hector Hall.

INFINITY INC.
1. Hippolyta Hall was pregnant a *long* time, and ultimately gave birth to Daniel (who was taken from her by Morpheus to become the new Sandman).

KILLRAVEN
1. Carmilla Frost discovered she was pregnant in the Killraven graphic novel.

LOSH (1)
1. Garth Ranzz (Lightning Lad) and Irma Ranz (Saturn Girl) had twins. (Twins are the usual on Garth’s home planet Winath; however, twins are determined maternally and Irma come from Titan. Plus are the twins fraternal or identical? Both have been shown on Winath in the series.)

LOSH (2)
1. In the “five years later” Legion, Night Girl was not only married to Cosmic Boy, but also pregnant.
2. Laurel Gand had a child by Rond Vidar.

LOSH (3)
1. Apparition (Tinya Wazzo) and Ultra Boy (Jo Nah) have married and had a child (Cub).

L.E.G.I.O.N.
1. Stealth had a child by Vril Dox.

MIRACLEMAN
1. Liz Moran gave birth in Miracleman #9.

MR. MIRACLE
1. Beautiful Dreamer was pregnant and gave birth.

NOBLE FAMILY
1. Zephyr became pregnant after a spiteful “night of passion” with her family’s greatest enemy.

SABRE
1. Melissa Siren was pregnant and gave birth in Sabre.

STARMAN
1. Jack fathered children with the Mist (see below) and his significant other, Sadie.

SPIDER-MAN
1. Gwen Stacy had twins after an ill-advised tryst with Spider-Man’s greatest enemy: Norman Osborn (the Green Goblin).

TEAM TITANS
1. Donna Troy was pregnant at the beginning of this series. Her husband and child died in a car accident, and then she died in Graduation Day.
2. Mirage was pregnant at the end of the series.

X-MEN
1. Madelynne Prior was pregnant with Scott Summer’s child (and gave birth to him) in the Uncanny X-Men. This child later went on through a very convoluted storyline to become Cable.

Villains:
Punch & Jewlee
They showed up in Hawk & Dove toting a toddler, but I don’t know if the pregnancy was ever mentioned or shown in Suicide Squad or elsewhere.

Chesire
Gave birth to Lianne, fathered by Speedy/Arsenal (Roy Harper), but I don’t know if the pregnancy was shown.

Mist
Had a child by Jack (Starman). Do not recall if the pregnancy was shown.

Non-Super-Hero:
FABLES: Snow White became pregnant after a drug-induced night with Bigby. She later gave birth to a litter of wolf/human hybrids.

STRANGERS in PARADISE: Francine miscarried.

ELFQUEST is chock-full of pregnancies and births. I’m not conversant enough with the series to comment.

Characters UNABLE to become Pregnant:
1. Black Canary – Sustained tortue injuries in Green Arrow: Longbow Hunters that rendered her sterile. Her recent dip in a Lazarus pit may have reversed this.

2. Firestar – Using her powers will cause her to become sterile. Hank Pym developed a costume for her that repairs the damage.

*Explanation per Matt Rossi: “Ms. Marvel was impregnated originally by Immortus’ son, who used the devices of Limbo to draw her to him, make her fall in love with him, and then implanted himself into her via some freaky Limbo technology. She then was sent back to Avengers mansion where she gave birth in an extremely short amount of time and the baby was Marcus, Immortus’ son (the one who impregnated her, remember) and then the baby, too, grew up rather remarkably quickly while time itself went ape because Marcus, concieved and born in Limbo, was a being out of time and his mere presence, not to mention the twisted nature of his self-conception into our world and the rapid time displacement, was shattering causality. Eventually Marcus agreed to go back to Limbo but pledged his love for Ms Marvel and asked her to come with him to Limbo, which she agreed to do and the Avengers let her (this was later pointed out to have been a really dumb move.) …I’ve simplified this immensely.”

Reading thorugh the letter page in Booster Gold #21, this missive caught my eye:

Not only was Booster Gold #17 one of the best BG stories in recent months, it was probably the best portrayal of the Hawk since the Dove took the big dive during the Crisis.

Since the death of his brother, Hawk has been wandering around the DC universe, buggier than a ghetto spice rack, and virtually no one in any of the comics he has appeared in has mentioned it!!! I mean, here’s a guy who is obviously a major loon and his pals in the TEEN TITANS just sortof overlook the fact that the guy has severe emotional problems! I’m glad tosee that finally someone has dealt wit hHawk the way he should be dealt with — calling him to account for his right-wing reactionary immaturity.

Was this guy reading the same Hawk appearances that I was? Everyone single character told him he was crazy in Teen Titans #19, 20 and 21. Not just the villains, but his teammates as well. And they did it every time they mentioned his name. The same thing goes for his brief appearance in Teen Titans #24.

Admittedly, in Firestorm he was never called crazy, but he was clearly acting that way (Hank Hall in a library…by personal choice?). His appearances in Teen Titans Spotlight were just sub-par and goofy, but he was at least as crazy as he was acting in Booster Gold.

I’m not saying that Hawk’s characterization in Booster Gold wasn’t good (it was), but it was no better than his characterization in the Teen Titans. As for dealing with him “the way he should be dealt with,” I think Donna’s offer of a psychiatrist would do a lot more good than forcing him to walk home from Mexico.

I miss letter pages.

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Ironically, the issue this letter appeared in (Booster Gold #21) was a sequel (of sorts) to Hawk and Dove’s first encounter with the Teen Titans way back in Teen Titans #21. In this issue (and the following), Booster fights the aliens from Dimension X — their second (and final) appearance. They were first seen in Teen Titans #20-22.

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Exactly how buggy is a ghetto spice rack?

First Hawk and Dove, and now this. If only they made an action figure of that famous character of Ditko’s, you know, that Spider-Man guy.

Actually, I’d love to see a Question figure and a Shade figure…

In 1988, Hawk and Dove got a new lease on life following with a mini-series and a subsequent regular series from the Kesels (Karl and Barbara). The mini-series introduced a new Dove — a female Dove — into the DC Universe. For better or worse, this mini-series also introduced Rob Liefeld. Today I’ll take a look at the first issue of the mini-series, with subsequent posts covering the later issues.

In the twenty years since the first appearance of Hawk and Dove in Showcase #75, a great deal had changed about the country. The Viet Nam war was long over. Watergate had come and gone. Mobile phones weighed fifteen pounds and Ronald Reagan was just finishing his second term of office. The original pro-war/anti-war stances of the characters were just a quaint reminder of times past. Various writers had tried to update the characters with varying levels of success. To one writer they represented violence versus pacifism and to another they were conservative versus liberal. None of these concepts translated particularly well to the comic book medium however.

In 1988, a new Hawk and Dove mini-series was released that took a new approach to the characters. This time Hawk represented Chaos while Dove represented Order. There was some underlying connection between the characters, but that was just hinted at during the mini-series. This concept of the characters was an entirely new approach, yet tied into established DC history, particularly the ongoing war between Order and Chaos. This approach also allowed more flexibility to the duo: Hawk could reason and Dove could fight without acting out of character.

In this mini-series, Hawk and Dove also got something they’d never had before: an arch-villain. In their own title, Hawk and Dove only fought a costumed villain once, and then he was just a cat burglar dressed up as, well, a cat. In the new series they got Kestrel. He had abilities suspiciously similar to theirs and a very similar costume. Where Hawk’s outfit was red and Dove’s was blue, Kestrel wore purple (red + blue = purple). Kestrel showed up to bedevil the duo on several occasions and it’s been hinted that he’s in the Injustice Society, though I don’t think he’s actually been in there¹.

Hawk & Dove #1 takes place shortly after The Doom Patrol and Suicide Squad Special #1 where Hawk was held prisoner in Nicaragua. Now back in the United States, Hank is chagrinned to discovers that his parents² have enrolled him in Georgetown³ to “get him back on track”.

Most of the first issue is spent introducing the main characters. Hank – and Hawk – are reintroduced and the origin of Hawk and Dove told in flashback. Readers are also introduced to “Georgetown’s Olympic marathoner hopeful” Kyle Spencer and his girlfriend Donna Cabot⁴. Donna’s photographer roommate Ren Takamori shows up and takes a quick shine to Hank. Finally Dawn Granger literally stumbles into the group one night. These five characters make up the basis of both this mini-series and the regular series that followed.

There is plenty of action in this issue as well. Kestrel shows his skill at vivisection as he works his way up from Nicaragua searching for Hawk. Speaking of Hawk, he manages to foil a robbery as well as a mugging. As the issue ends, Hawk again encounters the first group of robbers, but is stunned when the new Dove also appears.

Karl and Barb Kesel did a good job creating memorable characters. Each individual is unique, yet no one is stereotyped. While remaining true to the spirit of Hawk and Dove⁵, they manage to set up an effective mystery that plays out over the following four issues: who is the new Dove?⁶

The art by Rob Liefeld is actually quite good. True, his characters all seem to have that weird angled smile, but the outrageous anatomy and lack of continuity that have come to characterize his current art is all missing. It also helps to have the accomplished inks of Kesel overlying his pencils.

This series can be found inexpensively on eBay, and there was a trade paperback⁷ out at one point too.

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Notes:
¹ Kestrel was shown as a member of the Injustice Society in one of the Secret Files and the recent DC Encyclopedia.

² Why Judge Hall — a small town judge last seen in Eldon, Oregon – is now serving as a judge in Washington D.C. is never explained. Maybe he’s a Justice on the Supreme Court. If the DC Universe can have Luthor as President, and Talia and Sgt. Rock on the Cabinet, then Hall can be on the Supreme Court as far as I’m concerned.

³ How Hank, always described as a mediocre student at best is accepted into Georgetown remains a mystery. Maybe his dad’s an alum, or maybe having a father who is a Supreme Court Justice carries a lot of weight.

⁴ If there’s one noticeable flaw in the Kesels’ characters is that sometimes they just seem too perfect. Kyle is an Olympic hopeful, Donna is a pro tennis player and so on. It’s just a small issue, but it becomes a little distracting at certain points in the regular series.

⁵ About halfway through the issue, there is a nice scene where Hank meets Linda on the campus. Don’t remember her? She was the girl Don was trying to hit on in The Hawk and the Dove #3, but who actually went home with Hank. Here she reminisces about how great Don was (apparently forgetting that she chose his brother over him) and then accuses Hank of missing his brother’s funeral. I’m pretty sure Hank is at the funeral (that’s why I scanned in that panel all those months ago, just to make this point) – I think the Kesel’s are just trying to tighten up the timing a little. And what’s Linda doing in D.C. anyway? Did the entire town of Eldon move out there?
(Finally, for all you complete continuity buffs, Linda is Hank’s wife in the non-canon appearance in The Brave and the Bold #181)

⁶ Now we all know who Dove is, but it was a well done mystery with good clues and some clever red herrings when the book came out. As for who Dove is: Princess Projectra⁸.

⁷ I noticed that they fixed the tennis error when printing the trade paperback (Wimbledon is now correctly identified as having grass courts), but a few coloring errors were left in, as was a panel where the word balloon are mis-assigned (but I’ll get to that at a later date).

⁸ Oops. That’s the solution to the mystery of who Sensor Girl was. The new Dove is Kara Zor-El.

Grand Rounds XXXVIII has been posted over at Red State Moron. As always, it’s an excellent read. I also highly recommend Red State Moron, he always has interesting posts, particularly if you’re interested in obstetrics or neonatology.

The final page from Strange #6. I’m sure the artist is trying to portray Dr. Strange as sitting there in his chair, pensively waiting for the next mystical attack on Earth.

To me it just looks like he’s talking on some sort of extra-dimensional telephone.

“Thank you for calling the Dark Dimension customer service line. All our available operators are busy. Your eternal soul is very important to us, so please stay on the line…This call may be monitored for quality assurance or other infernal purposes…Thank you for calling the Dark Dimension customer service line. All our available opera–CLICK. This is Beezle, how may I assist you?” “I’m calling to complain about my boots. I ordered the Boots of Vishanti in size 9, but these boots appear to be at least a size 30.”

Villains United #2 “A Fire in the Steppes”
Gail Simone, writer
Dale Eaglesham, artist

Thomas Blake (Catman) has been captured by the opposing society of super-villains and handed over to the Crime Doctor for torture and questioning.

Crime Doctor: Even if you could break the chair’s restraints, Mister Blake…you couldn’t get far.
The collar injects a virulent strain of botulism directly into your carotid artery.
Death would be extremely painful.

Botulism is a fascinating disease caused by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. The causation is somewhat indirect because there is no infection involved. Instead, the bacterium produces a particularly nasty poison known as Botulinum Toxin. This poison is found in contaminated food and causes botulism when ingested or injected. Botulinum toxin is one of the most potent poisons known: 1 microgram would kill a single person, and 0.25 kg (a little over half a pound) is enough to kill everyone on Earth.

Botulinum toxin blocks the communication between nerve and muscle, leading to a floppy paralysis. The disease usually starts with the eyes (blurry and double vision), progresses to the throat (difficulty swallowing) and then on down the body. Death by respiratory failure is the result if untreated.

The Crime Doctor’s plan of injecting a “virulent strain of botulism directly into your carotid artery” is flawed for several reasons. As mentioned above, botulism is caused by a bacterial toxin and not by the bacteria itself. Injecting a particular infective strain of bacteria into the bloodstream won’t cause botulism. Additionally, Clostridium is an anaerobic bacterium — it only grows in areas with no oxygen. The bloodstream is simply too oxygen-rich for the bacteria to grow. Finally, the toxin works at the neuromuscular junction. Injecting it into the carotid artery (which would deliver it straight to the brain) won’t make it work any faster or any better because the toxin doesn’t affect the brain.

What accounts for the Crime Doctor’s errors? It could be a simple writer’s error, but of course comic book writers and artists never make mistakes (cough, cough). It could be that the Crime Doctor is lying, trying to scare Catman into divulging information. He’s torturing the guy after all; what does he have to lose by lying? Or it could be that the Crime Doctor is just a bad doctor. Personally, this is what I suspect. The guy had to have gone to medical school in the 1930s. A lot of things have changed since then. And that nom de guerre: “Crime Doctor” — it doesn’t exactly scream competence (or instill confidence, for that matter).

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Two final points. First, I think this is some of the best medical comic art I’ve seen, even if the scene is not strictly medical. When the Crime Doctor injects the medication into Catman’s arm, you can tell he’s injecting it into a vein instead of just jabbing it blindly into the arm. It was real nice of him to carefully bandage up the arm of a man he’s about to torture, too. But what’s with the glasses? Who does this guy think he is, Elton John?

Second, in all fairness it needs to be pointed out that it was Gail Simone herself who brought this error to my attention, so she earns brownie points for that.

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Final final notes (no really, I mean it this time):

• Botox is a diluted form of botulinum toxin. It is used to paralyze muscles in the treatment of certain neurological conditions (torticollis and migraines), and to smooth out facial wrinkles. A few months ago, a doctor in Florida injected research-grade botulinum toxin (apparently looking for a less expensive form of Botox) into himself and several patients – they all developed botulism and spent weeks in the hospital intensive care unit.
• In certain uncommon situations (infant botulism and wound botulism), the bacteria can infect people, but this is extremely rare and only occurs when the conditions are just right. The food poisoning scenario is much more common.
• The current mortality rate for botulism is 25%. This is the rate with treatment.
• Scipio over at the Absorbacon presents an excellent summary of the Crime Doctor.

Aquaman #31, the conclusion to the “Kiss of Death” story arc, was marginally better than the preceding issue – mostly because it wasn’t as deep into pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo and bad medicine.

The Kiss of Death storyline:

A serial killer is stalking Sub Diego, killing people by breathing into their lungs. In order to find a pattern to the killings, Aquaman talks to Arkham Asylum inmate Jonathan Crane (the Scarecrow) who points out that the initials of the victims, plus the letters CA, will spell out “I can’t take it anymore.” With this, Aquaman concludes that the killer’s next victim must have the initials “CA.”

Aquaman, Lorena, and the remaining members of the police department split up to find the killer. With his keen detective skills, Aquaman has a good idea who the killer is — and he’s right. The killer has a gun that shoots paralytic darts, but Aquaman and Lorena are able to restrain and imprison the killer.

The basic concept of the story is sound: a serial killer is loose in Sub Diego. The execution of the story could have been better.

The scientific and medical technobabble was painful to read. I discussed most of it at length last month (as did Scipio). In terms of this issue, I will just quietly point out that it would be very hard for someone who is paralyzed to talk.

Another problem with the story is that the serial killer doesn’t act like one. Serial killers are disorganized thinkers. They kill to relieve a mental itch and prove their superiority (superiority over whom varies by the killer). While they may taunt the police with letters or notes, it’s quite a stretch to think that one would plan ahead enough to spell out a phrase with the victim’s initials, or as another example, base murders on the seven deadly sins. (I’ll readily admit that I’m not a forensic psychologist so my understanding of serial killers may not be 100% complete.)

Finally, I was very impressed that the Scarecrow was able to take the letters EONTMRNYTAEIITAK and right off the bat realize that — with the addition of two other letters — it spells out I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

This is particularly impressive considering that the original letters by themselves can be rearranged into over one-hundred-thousand legitimate anagrams. My favorites include:

A termination tyke	Animate inky otter	I’m no karate entity	Into karate enmity
Attain inky remote	Into a meaner kitty	Iranian tyke totem	Marinate one kitty
Irate titan monkey	Emanate iron kitty	Token Martian yeti	Notary intake time

I think any of these probably would have led to a better story.

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• Internet Anagram Server
• Crime Library: Serial Killers

From Scott’s Textbook of Obscure Diseases:

originitis: an inflammation of the origin. A disease exhibited by characters whose backstories have undergone so many changes that no one knows for sure what their true origin is. Often due to the effects of crossovers and “event books.” There is no known cure.

As always, here at STAR Labs we’re on the cutting edge of technological advancement. We’re now pleased to announce the latest in super-hero costume convenience: OnSTAR, the satellite assistance network available at the touch of a button. Ask for it by name when you buy your next costume!

To demonstrate the uses of OnSTAR, the following are real unscripted, unedited customer calls:

OS: This is OnSTAR. How may I assist you Iron Man?
IM: I’m fighting Dr. Doom and he’s taken control of my armor. I’m locked out!
OS: Just a minute, let me trigger the remote lock….there! You should have access now.
IM: Thanks OnSTAR!

OS: This is OnSTAR. How may I assist you?
SM: Yeah, well, I’m supposed to be meeting up with the police to help with a hostage crisis at the First National Bank, but I’m here at the corner of 11th and West and there’s no one here.
OS: That’s because you’re at Second National Bank. You want to fly about ten blocks north.
SM: Umm, which way is north?
OS: Just fly towards the water tower for a few minutes and you’ll find the bank.
SM: There it is! Thanks OnSTAR!

OS: This is OnSTAR. How may I assist you Booster Gold?
BG: I…tried to [gasp]…stop…Gorilla Grodd
OS: Do you need the JLA? I repeat: do you need the JLA?
BG: I can’t…find…my leg…
OS: The JLA are on their way. Just hold on another few minutes.
BG: Thank you…OnSTAR.

With OnSTAR, assistance is just the touch of a button away! Ask for it by name!

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Assistance available only on Earth and its immediate vicinity and time period. Offer not valid on other planets, dimensions, hypertime, hyperspace, or alternate realities. Offer not valid in Iowa. The OnSTAR system is prone to explosions when in close proximity to zeta beams. Actual assistance by the JLA not guaranteed. Not available to villains.

Let’s take a quick moment to look at all the second generation super-heroes father is also a super-hero. I’m ignoring alternate universes and “possible futures” (which is why I’m discounting the Spider-Girl continuum).

Obsidian*, Jade children of Green Lantern
Franklin Richards son of Reed Richards
Hourman II son of Hourman
Starman (Jack Knight, David Knight) son of Starman (Ted Knight)
Stargirl step-daughter of Stripesy
Hector Hall (Silver Scarab, Dr. Fate) son of Carter Hall (Hawkman)
Cable, Rachel son of Scott Summers
Jesse Chambers daughter of Johnny Quick
Daniel (Sandman) son of Hector Hall
Rusty, Race, Zephyr children of Doc Noble
Invincible son of Omni-Man*
Dr. Fate son of Hawk (the body anyway, the soul is Hector Hall’s)

*Once a hero, now a villain.

The list seems suprisingly short, please feel free to add to it…

Prior to her recent starring role in Day of Vengence, the last I remember seeing the Enchantress was when Faust slit her throat (in JLA: Black Baptism, as I recall). When exactly did she she return to the land of the living? Or has that ever been explained?

Reed Richards thinks he’s so smart, but clearly his understanding of basic chemistry is a little off*. Admittedly, this is Reed Richards channeling Stan Lee, so that explains a great deal. What is wrong with this picture?

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*Speaking of bad chemistry, how about this week’s Justice League Unlimited with Nth-metal being described as “transuranic iron” and as having an atomic number of 160? Please, if you feel the need to create your own element, don’t try to explain it away using real world chemistry. It simply doesn’t work.

“Transuranic” refers to any element with a higher atomic number than Uranium. Iron has an atomic number of 26, Uranium has an atomic number of 92. By definition, iron must have an atomic number of 26; if iron had another atomic number, it would be another element . It is impossible to have transuranic iron. (I suspect that the script is confusing atomic number with atomic mass, but I’ll let a chemist or physicist explain that one).

A great new edition of Grand Rounds, the weekly round up of the best of the medical blogosphere, has been posted over at A Chance to Cut is a Chance to Cure.

The second issue starts with Hawk confronting a gang of crooks, as well as the new Dove, in a warehouse. Refusing to accept that there’s a new Dove, Hawk attacks her — or at least he tries to. She manages to elude him and along the way they manage to K.O. every criminal. She leaves reminding him that while Don may be dead, Dove isn’t.

The next morning, Hank meets up with Kyle, Donna, Ren and Dawn. He figures one of the girls must be the new Dove, so he starts questioning them, trying to discover who it is. Unfortunately, his questioning is along the lines of “So, Donna – is that your real hair?” and his results are about as dismal as you’d expect.

That evening, Hank joins his parents for dinner at the French restaurant Le Parc (where he orders “A cheeseburger and fries. American Cheese.”) A commotion develops in the restaurant when Dove starts fighting a team of small time thugs across the street. Hawk intervenes and then accuses Dove of following him. She just looks away and refuses to answer. “Get out of Washington,” he tells her. “If you know what’s good for you.”

Hank runs into Kyle and Donna at a local diner the next morning. Dawn and Ren join them a few minutes later. Ren tells them she had been photographing the massacre that had occurred at Le Parc restaurant the previous night. Looking at her photos, Hank realizes that the massacre is somehow connected to the gang he had fought at the warehouse. He excuses himself and runs over to the warehouse. Kestrel, however, has arrived there first and quickly captures him.

The third issue opens with a full-scale battle between Hawk and Kestrel that rages through the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum. Hawk finds Kestrel his toughest opponent ever. He’s quickly battered and bruised and even breaks his hand while punching Kestrel. Hank drops an airplane on Kestrel then hides in a closet, waiting to change back to Hank so he can escape. A good idea, but Kestrel finds him first and decides to finish the fight once and for all. Luckily, Dove chooses that moment to intervene. She grabs Kestrel’s arm and flips him away. Kestrel chases after her, but she’s always manages to stay one step ahead of him. Too late, Kestrel realizes that Dove has led him far enough away from Hawk so that he can change back to Hank.

Kestrel hasn’t given up. He breaks into the police station and releases Shadowblade, the leader of the thugs Hawk and Dove defeated the night before. In a Faustian bargain, Kestrel promises the young thug power. The next morning, the new and improved Shadowblade leads a team of gunmen in an attack on the Georgetown campus designed to flush out Hawk and Dove.

These two issues continue the theme of introducing the new Dove. It’s understandable that Hawk doesn’t want a new Dove because he doesn’t want anything to tarnish his brother’s memory. Clues are given to the new Dove’s identity, but plenty of red herrings are strewn about as well. Kestrel finally meets the pair, and it is clear that he shares some connection to them and their origin. The terms Order and Chaos are bandied about and a mystic “experiment” of some kind is mentioned. Some of this is explained in the mini-series, but the true nature of Hawk and Dove won’t be fully explained until the second year of the subsequent Hawk & Dove series.

The Kesels remember that Hawk and Dove can only be in costume when danger is present, a fact many previous writers had ignored. They actually use this as a plot point. Hank is shown to be a good fighter, but also clever enough to know when to escape. Unlike the first Dove, these issues make clear that the new Dove won’t avoid a fight, but she tries to end it quickly as possible by using her brains. She also sees the big picture: she doesn’t have to defeat Kestrel in combat, just lead him away from Hawk.

The pencils by Liefeld continue to be quite good overall. Still, some of the “quirks” that will dominate his later art can be seen starting here. He was drawing excellent backgrounds in the first issue, but by issue three, fewer and fewer panels have drawn backgrounds. He also starts using more stock poses in these issues (like the Art Adams “girl standing with one hip thrust out”).

Saw the trailer for The Island while at the theater today . First thought: Ewan McGregor in Logan’s Run? Second thought: Poor Sean Bean, can’t he ever play a good guy? (Yeah, I know he playedBoromir, a good guy — though a seriously flawed one who didn’t survive the first film — so it doesn’t count.)

Tonight Mythbusters looked at airplane crash positions and driving while intoxicated vs. driving while using a cell phone. The results were pretty much what I expected. What happened to Scottie? The new guy seemed competent, but what happened to out multi-tattooed welder? The drinking/driving scenes reminded me of that episode of WKRP where Johnny Fever gets better reflexes the more he drinks (that was one of the funniest episodes of the show. Not only did it have the intoxication scene, but it had the fight between the WPIG pig and the WKRP carp.)

I spent my junior and senior years in college working in a research lab. At my school, a high GPA would earn you a degree “with honors,” but if you wanted Latin honors you had to have both a high GPA and a research project.

I looked at a number of labs and ended up settling on a lab that evaluated plant growth hormones. My project looked at a particular stress protein in barley. My job was to evaluate what stresses would lead to expression of this gene, and what part of the seedling expressed the gene. It involved a great deal of RNA extraction and Northern blotting, but was actually a great deal of fun (although very tedious at times).

As part of our research, we worked with some low-grade radioactive elements. We each had to get federal certification to use them and followed very strict safety protocols. Those of us who worked with DNA and RNA used P₃₂ (a radioactive form of phosphorus) to radio-label our experiments. Other researches used S₃₅ (radioactive sulfur) to similarly radio-label proteins. While radioactive, neither of these elements was particularly strong. We used a Geiger counter to look for spills because both of these elements would set it off, but just barely.

There was a graduate student named Mike who worked in the same lab. To put it mildly, Mike was a little reckless. Since we worked in a lab specializing in barley, he decided to brew his own beer. The initial stages of the process went well, but when he bottled the beer (in glass bottles, of course), he decided he wanted strong carbonation so added a little extra yeast. Not a good idea. One night, the bottles all exploded and we came in to a lab dripping with beer and glass shards.

A few months later, he went on vacation out west. One day, he toured an abandoned mine. I don’t think it was any kind of organized tour; I’m pretty sure he just let himself in and started poking around. He wasn’t sure what kind of mine it was, but he found a couple of neat looking yellow-speckled rocks and brought them in to show us. He then put them in his pocket and forgot about them. Shortly after he left, I turned on the Geiger counter to make sure I hadn’t spilled any P₃₂ and it started screaming. It was clicking as loud and fast as it could go, particularly when I pointed it where Mike had placed his rocks. That’s right; he had brought home a nice souvenir of uranium. We had to shut the lab down for a week to clean it all up. Mike? He forgot about the rocks he put in his pocket when he washed his clothes, and managed to contaminate his entire apartment’s laundry. I’m not quite sure how that ended up except that the last I heard, he was a researcher for Monsanto.

I left the research lab after college, and haven’t really looked back. I enjoyed the work, but I was frustrated by the pressure to get results: “Take your time (wink, wink) but get results!” I also didn’t want to beg and scrape for grant money for the rest of my life. Medical school seemed like a much better option.

Most days, I still think it was the right decision.

WKRP in Cincinnati was always one of my favorite TV shows growing up. In St. Louis, one of the local stations showed it at 10pm each weeknight and I watched it through most of junior high and high school.

Sadly, due to issues with the rights to the rock music, it is doubtful that WKRP will ever be collected on DVD, at least in it’s original form.

There were ninety episodes, and every one had some great scenes and lines. There are about twelve that rank as my favorite, and out of those twelve, these five rank as my 100% All Time Favorite WKRP Episodes:

1. Fish Story – A reporter has arrived to interview Mr. Carlson for a story on the new and improved WKRP. At the same time, the station lobby is being painted and Johnny and Venus are participating in an on-air drunk driving public serivice program. Meanwhile, dressed as the WKRP carp, Herb is attending a local college pep rally and gets in a fight with the WPIG pig.
2. Turkeys Away – Probably the most famous WKRP episode. Mr. Carlson decides to run the station’s holiday promotion himself, and let’s just say it involves an airplane and live turkeys. It also goves us the most famous line from the show: “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.”
3. Johnny Comes Back – Johnny Fever takes a job in LA then returns to WKRP after being fired for on air obscenities. Meanwhile, the young DJ hired as his replacement has been receiving payola to play certain records on the air. The funniest scene is when Mr. Carlson finds the white powder, he puts it on his feet thinking it’s foot powder. When he discovers that it’s cocaine, he starts hopping around yelling “I’ve got a monkey on my back!”
4. Hotel Oceanside – Herb, Nady and Mr. Carlson travel to Dayton to land the Vicky von Vickey jeans advertising account. Mr. Carlson spends his time fretting about the “Dayton Poisoner” while Herb romances a beautiful lady, unaware she used to be one his (male) high school classmates. The best line is when they return to the station and Jennifer asks if Vicky von Vickey is a client. The response: “I don’t think she’s going to sue us if that’s what you mean.”
5. Hoodlum Rock – The station sponsors a concert by the English band Scum of the Earth. The band claims that they are not punk rock, but instead Hoodlum rock. The difference, they point out, is that “punk rock bands don’t generally physically attack their audience.”

The title of this post comes from one of the ads that WKRP always used to play. I can still sing the jingle for “Red Wiggler, the Cadillac of Worms.” How’s that for sad? I still know an imaginary ad jingle from 25 years ago…

The Eleventh Edition of the Skeptics’ Circle has been posted at Anne’s Anti-Quackery and Science Blog. This is an entertaining and informative collection of the best blog posts that deal with such topics as medical quackery, intelligent design, urban legends, history, astrology from a skeptical point of view. Check it out!

Catwoman #43 “Pest Control”
Andersen Gabrych, writer
Rick Burchett, artist

After Onyx and her gang are savagely attacked by Killer Croc, she comes to Catwoman for help. While recuperating in one of Catwoman’s hideouts, Onyx sews up her own forehead laceration as the picture on the right shows (click on the image for a larger view).

You’ll notice that Onyx is using a straight needle. In the past, I’ve pointed out that a curved needle is the best method of suturing skin lacerations. When I complained about this previously it was because the supposedly state-of-the-art Xavier Institute was using outdated techniques. In this situation, Onyx probably used whatever was on hand so it makes sense that she’d use a straight needle (though it’s a lot harder to sew skin with one than the panel suggests).

Suturing oneself is possible, though moderately difficult – especially when using a mirror. Tying the knots is the hardest part.

The question is whether or not this laceration should be closed at all. Onyx obtained the cut in a fight with Killer Croc, so it’s logical to assume that she was scratched by one of his claws. Now, Killer Croc has never been known for his good hygiene; in fact, until recently he was living in a sewer. The risk of infection from this injury is quite high.

Generally, wounds with a high chance of infection are not sutured shut because this only increases the risk of infection. The rules aren’t hard and fast; there’s a great deal of debate on this topic. Some physicians will close facial wounds because there is good blood flow to the face and so less chance of infection. Other physicians are more cautious about facial wounds because of the close proximity of important structures such as the nose and eyes. The amount of time elapsed since the injury, the extent of crush damage (common with bites) and how well the wound was cleaned are other key points.

If Onyx’s wound was fairly shallow and has been cleaned very well, then suturing it closed is probably safe. On the other hand, if it’s a deep wound or one that hasn’t been cleaned, suturing would be a bad idea.

I suspect it was a shallow wound that she cleaned well then sutured up with whatever material was readily available so it wouldn’t be bleeding during her rematch with Killer Croc.

No big plans this weekend, just taking it easy. We’re going to be moving in about 2 months so we’re starting to gear up for that — yet at the same time keep this house “real estate clean” so any potential buyers will immediately be convinced to buy it:
“Look George, not only is it a two story house with solid oak doors, but they’ve dusted! I must have it!”
(If only it were that easy)

I can tell I’ve been cutting back on my comic purchases because I’ve already finished this month’s box (since I live far from a local comic shop, I find a monthly mail order shipment the best option). Luckily, the area we’re moving has much a much better selection of comic shops, though I suspect I’ll keep using the mail order for the harder to find “back of Previews” stuff.

I’ve been greatly enjoying the latest Mixed Bag CDs. The best part is the titles. It’s clear to me that bloggers should do the marketing for albums, not ad execs.

And I’ve got some good ideas for prescription drug marketing too.

Ian points out a comic blog panel at Comic Con. I’d love to be there, but this year I’m looking for smaller conventions to attend.

It seems odd that blogs are referred to as “the fanzines of this century” yet the panel is composed of professional writers and journalists. Where’s the true fanzine blog representative? While I like the professional and semi-professionals who blog, one of the best aspects of blogs is that they allow the common fan’s perspective — yet this doesn’t seem to be represented.

I’m not saying it won’t be a worthwhile panel — it certainly has some top notch people — but it just doesn’t seem representative of the whole of comic blogging.

It’s hard to pretend you’re an ageless hero when you deliver such dated bon mots as these:

Shocker: Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Well, I’m not Hubert Humphrey!

Shocker: Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: You were expecting maybe the Man from U.N.C.L.E.?

Both are from the classic Amazing Spider-Man #46, by Lee and Romita

Scott’s First Rule of Comic Books is “the plot needs to advance every issue.” Frank Cho, the writer and artist of Shanna the She-Devil should really bear this in mind.

At the end of the Shanna #4, people in camp were dying of a dread disease while Shanna and Doc were making their way back with the antidote.

At the end of this Shanna #5, people in camp are dying of a dread disease while Shanna and Doc are making their way back with the antidote. During the issue they’ve moved maybe 20 feet.

Admittedly, it’s hard to tell a story when — out of 22 pages — the first ten are spent showing a tyrannosaurus rex being attacked by the raptors. It’s beautiful dinosaur art and the reader understands that the raptors are very dangerous – but does it really need half the comic to convey this information? Then there are two pages on the survivors back at camp. That leaves 10 pages for the main story, and two of those are a double page spread. That leaves nine pages for the main story, and most of those are four-panel pages. Is it any wonder there’s no story?

I’ll admit the art is beautiful, but I don’t think the art alone is worth $3.50 an issue (that’s Scott’s Second Law of Comic Books: comics should be a combination of art and story).

Just for laughs, how does Shanna compare value wise to other dinosaur books?

TITLE TYPE PRICE COST/PAGE Shanna the She-Devil 22-page comic book $3.50 16 cents/page Big Book of Dinosaurs 32-page children’s hardcover $14.99 49 cents/page Dinosaurs: The Biggest Baddest Strangest Fastest 64-page children’s hardcover $19.95 31 cents/page Principles of Paleontology, 2nd edition 481-page hardbound college textbook $91.95 19 cents/page Bringing Fossils to Life: An Introduction to Paleobiology 512-page softcover college textbook $87.50 17 cents/page Jurassic Park 416-page paperback $7.99 2 cents/page Jurassic Park 416-page hardcover $28.95 7 cents/page

Not too bad, actually. Shanna is cheaper to read than the children’s books (though those are hardcover), and about equivalent to the college texts (though there’s probably more plot in the textbooks). Jurassic Park is the best value though, hands down.

And before you start whining about collectability, a first edition of Jurassic Park hardcover can be obtained for about $35, or eight cents per page (a signed edition will run you $125, or 30 cents per page).

I just wonder why Marvel feels the need to totally re-invent its characters this way? Do we really need a cloned-by-Nazis eugenics-gone-good Shanna? What was wrong with the original Shanna? And whatever happened to Liberty Meadows?

This week’s medical blog Grand Rounds have been posted over at the Health Business Blog.

By request, a look at Green Lantern #154.

Green Lantern #154 “Hate Crime, part one”
Judd Winick, writer
Dale Eaglesham, penciler

Kyle Rayner’s assistant Terry has been attacked and beaten severely. Kyle is at his bedside in the hospital intensive care unit. The splash page opens with excerpts from the doctor’s note on Terry:

Patient is a 17-year-old male suffering from multiple compound fractures of the head, chest, and extremities. He has a left orbital blowout fracture, bilateral multiple compound fractures of the lower extremities and left upper extremity, and a severe crush injury of the left hand. He is status post emergent craniotomy for decompression an epidural hematoma and thoracostomy tube placement for traumatic hemopneumothorax. Glasgow Coma Scale is 4; prognosis for neurological recovery is poor.

Rather than explain that myself (though I did throw in some helpful hyperlinks), I’ll let Kyle Rayner sum it up because he does an excellent job:

Terry has a broken arm, two broken legs – one of them in three places. His left hand is mangled. He has four broken ribs and a collapsed lung. He also has a skull fracture. He may lose an eye. They drilled holes in his head to relieve the pressure from the bleeding in his brain. He’s on a respirator. He’s in a coma. He may die.

The medicine is fine. The injuries described are consistent with a severe beating, and the treatment is entirely appropriate. I could make a few tiny nitpicks , but that would be more personal preference than actual medical errors, so I’ll keep my mouth shut (for once).

The art is good. As always, Eaglesham does an excellent job drawing the scene, particularly medical equipment. Still, let me point out that the notes describe the left arm as broken, yet the art shows the cast on the right arm.

I want to take this opportunity to briefly discuss the Glasgow Coma Scale. The Glasgow Coma Scale (often simply referred to as the GCS) is frequently mentioned in trauma scenes in movies and television — and sometimes even comics. It is composed of three parts: Eye Opening, Best Verbal Response and Best Motor Response. These scores are added together to give a total score of 3-15.

Eye Opening (E) BEST Motor Response (M) Verbal Response (V) Spontaneous 4   Obeys Commands 6   Oriented 5 To speech 3   Localizes pain 5   Confused conversation 4 To pain 2   Normal flexion (withdrawal) 4   Inappropriate words 3 None 1   Abnormal flexion (decorticate) 3   Incomprehensible sounds 2       Extension (decerebrate) 2   None 1       None (flaccid) 1       Add the scores from each of the 3 columns to reach the final GCS score

If the GCS is 13 of higher, there may be mild brain injury. A score of less than 12 is said to represent moderate brain injury and a score of 8 or less indicates severe brain injury and coma. Though the score is often reported as a single number (“A GCS of 9”), it works best when also given in its components (”E3V3M3″).

The GCS is not a perfect system. Vascular injury (stroke), intoxication, low blood sugar and shock can affect the GCS. As can be imagined, it doesn’t work well on children who are too young to talk (or other non-verbal patients). Still, the GCS is widely used because it gives a quick snapshot of the patient’s neurological status that is understood almost universally.

H. Beam Piper was a science fiction writer who published in the late 1940s, 50s and early 60s until his death in 1964. Some of his best known stories include the Little Fuzzy series (despite the name, an excellent adult series) and the Paratime tales. Both of these sets of stories have been collected recently into nice thick omnibus editions. Most of his works can be found inexpensively at used book stores and on eBay.

Piper was an excellent historian and incorporated a great deal of historical information into his science fiction stories. He believed that certain patterns develop through history, and he incorporated this belief into his works. Many of his stories and novels were futurist versions of historical events including the Sepoy Mutinee in India (The Uller Uprising) and the Cargo Cults that formed on isolated islands following World War II (Cosmic Computer).

Piper was also one of the first science fiction writers to develop a “future history” spanning thousands of years. Each story and novel ties into this history. For instance, the Little Fuzzy series occurs early in this future history during the Federation Era – a time period analogous to the discovery and exploitation of the New World in the 16 and 17th centuries. Later stories deal with periods of empire and anarchy.

Space Viking takes place in one of these periods of anarchy. The Federation has collapsed, leaving planets isolated at the edge of the galaxy. A few of these planets have been able to preserve their culture and technology but most have fallen into barbarism. Groups of interstellar raiders (the Space Vikings) have also appeared, plundering some of the more isolated planets for technology and riche.

The planet Gram has done well since the collapse. It has actually prospered and managed to keep in contact with some of the nearby planets including Excalibur, Morglay and Durendal. A leading figure on Gram, Lucas Trask is a powerful man, but also a man haunted by the murder of his wife. He funds and later joins a raiding ship in the hopes of tracking down his wife’s murderer. Much to his surprise, he finds himself enjoying the “Space Viking” life and he quickly realizes that there is more to the galaxy than his sheltered planet. His band joins with other raiders and other planets, and the first glimpse of a new interstellar government is formed.

Space Viking is an adventure story with a hard science fiction edge. As with most of Piper’s writings, there is an underlying political message as well as some hidden history lessons. As the title suggests, this book traces much of its genesis to the Viking raids on Europe in the years after the fall of the Roman Empire. There are also strains of Weimar Republic Germany thrown in for good measure. There’s a little romance too.

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For those of you who grew up playing the original Traveller, look at the names of the planets mentioned in Space Viking, the so-called Sword Worlds. These same planets show up in the Spinward Marches in Traveller — in the Sword Worlds subsector. I always thought this was a fitting tribute to Piper.

Hawk & Dove #4 is where the action really starts. Hawk and Dove do some serious damage, much of the Georgetown campus is destroyed, we find out the new Dove’s identity plus we’re treated to the most horrifying Liefeld panel ever.

The issue starts out precisely where the previous one left off with an attack on campus by a group of armed criminals. Hank sprints across campus to find Ren. He drags her to the roof of the nearest building and challenges her to change into Dove. She is speechless, so Hank goes first, turning into Hawk in front of her. As Hank changes into Hawk we are treated to one of the most horrific comic panels of all time. It’s not that the art is bad – it’s actually quite effective. What’s so horrible is the subject matter, which I can describe in three simple words: clenched Hawk butt. I can’t imagine anyone actually thinking this would be a good idea for a visual. I’m still scarred to this day. (If you absolutely must see this panel, click here, but remember: you’ve been warned!)

It turns out that Hank’s made a mistake. Ren is not Dove, and in fact Dove shows up while he’s talking to her. Hawk and Dove then run off to fight the thugs, but not before a little Dove-on-Ren verbal catfight.

It soon becomes apparent that the attackers are really demons in disguise, and they’re being led by a newly super-powered Shadowblade. The duo splits up: while Hawk leads the demons away, Dove goes after Shadowblade.

With help from the Special Crime Unit’s armory, Hawk straps explosives to himself and leads the demons into the Georgetown library. Losing them among the stacks, he drops the explosives and escapes before the charges go off. With a loud “Ka-Thoom!” the demons are destroyed, but so is the library. This always struck me as a somewhat awkward scene; surely there was a better way to stop the demons than blowing up the library. The art is no help either: it looks like the shelves were built by a team of drunk monkeys (but then, I’ve never been to the Georgetown library, maybe it really looks like that).

Dove discovers that Shadowblade’s powers are eating him alive. She defeats him without breaking a sweat, letting his own powers destroy him from the inside out. After the battle concludes, she meets up with Hawk again and vows to show him her real identity. Hank tells he already knows – she’s Donna – but he’s proven wrong again as Dove changes back into Dawn Granger. This really should have been a no-brainer (Don = Dawn), but the Kesels did a good job stringing out the clues and planting red herrings.

In addition to begin filled with action (and appalling anatomy), this issues introduces the Hank-Ren-Dawn love triangle. This would be more fully explored in the subsequent Hawk & Dove regular series (and even play a role in the current JSA series).

Next issue: The mini-series concludes with Dove’s origin and the showdown with Kestrel.