Polite Dissent

How many of these comic book doctors can you identify?
(Hint: All are medical doctors.)

Click and drag the mouse to reveal the answers.

Dr. Gym’ll	Answer: Multi-armed doctor from The Legion of Super-Heroes.
Dr. Kronkheit	Answer: Physician of Plexmall Chicago from American Flagg.
Dr. Benjamin Love	Answer: Mad gynecologist who created the supervillain team Helix (from Infinity Inc).
Sikorsky	Answer: Medic/physician/dragonfly on board the Starjammer.
Dr. Anthony Ludget	Answer: Better known as Doctor Druid.
Dr. Bromwell	Answer: The Parker’s family doctor in Amazing Spider-Man.
Dr. Canus	Answer: Canine doctor who helped Kamandi escape from the tigers.
Dr. Maxilla Yale	Answer: Main villain in Anima.
Dr. Beth Chapel	Answer: Dr. Midnight. Deceased. Poor taste in costumes.
Dr. Michael Two-Youngman	Answer: Physician and the super-hero Shaman in Alpha Flight.
Doctor Doctor	Answer: Trick Question! A song by the Thompson Twins.
Dr. Michael Amar	Answer: The Flash villain Murmur.
Dr. Elias Wirtham	Answer: Better known as the Spider-Man villain Cardiac.

Sorry, no post tonight. It turns out that last night’s storm killed off our cable modem. Charter’s customer service/help desk people were friendly (and actually in the US) but wrong, and I ultimately made the diagnosis myself. One trip to Best Buy later and we’re back online, but too late for any kind of substantial post. See everyone tomorrow.

So last week we talked about comic book characters who were talking animals. But what about when the main character of a book becomes a talking animal? I’m not talking about Peter Parker turning into some bizarre spider-like beast (and lycanthropes don’t count either), but instead when heroes actually become talking animals for a time.

The classic example has to be Walter Simonson’s Frog Thor storyline, but my personal favorite is when Doctor Strange ends up in the body of a rat for the first two issues of Doctor Strange: Sorcerer Supreme.

For your edification, here’s the cover of Thor #366 (April 1986) and the rat Dr. Strange handling the Wings of Needless Sorrow in anticipation of a battle with Dormammu (from Dr. Strange: Sorcerer Supreme #2).

Wonder Woman being turned into a pig in the JLU episode “This Little Piggy” is almost another example, but I’m not counting it as it wasn’t a comic book, and she wasn’t a talking pig.

It’s always nice finding a little Monty Python in my comic books. Chris Claremont did it a bunch when he was writing Excalibur (the original series, the fun one) — how many times did someone mutter, “He’s a fair cop”?

Claremont wasn’t the first, though. These panels are from the lead story in Batman Family #3, “Isle of a Thousand Chills!“, with script by Elliot S! Maggin and pencils by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez.

The first line in the next panel is: “…Because our chief weapon is surprise!”

Then it veers into standard comic book fight format, with Batgirl and Robin taking on a bunch of hooded inquistioners. It all kind of makes sense by the end of the story, which is basically a comic book retelling of the classic Star Trek episode “Shore Leave,” where it ends up being a giant amusement park that can make anything appear (and now that I’ve reminded you of Shore Leave, can’t you just hear that jaunty little Irish tune that played whenever Kirk’s nemesis Finnegan showed up?)

• Script to The Spanish Inquisition skit

This image is from Captain Atom #29, the issue where Captain Nathan Adam is officially cleared of the treason and murder charges against him. Take a look at the text of the newspaper article…look familiar? I just started laughing out loud when I read this (and scared the cats and wife).

Continuing the medical annotations of Naoki Urawawa’s Monster. We’re now up to Chapter 6.

Previous Annotions: Chapter 1 (part 1), Chapter 1 (part 2), Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 and Chapter 5.

The narrative picks up nine years later. Not much has changed for Dr. Tenma. He remains Chief of Surgery at Eisler Memorial Hospital in Düsseldorf and still doesn’t have much of a social life because he always puts his patients and medical practice first. As the chapter starts, Tenma is operating on a complicated patient with a parasellar meningioma¹. Meanwhile, a brutal murder has taken place across Germany in Kõln. The police have their eye on a suspect, but he is hit by a car trying to flee. He suffers a skull fracture and an epidureal hematoma². Dr. Tenma is brought in to operate on the suspect to save his life. While in Kõln, Tenma runs into Inspector Lunge, who all but accuses him of murdering the other physicians at Eisler nine years before.

---

Notes:
¹A meningioma is a very slow growing tumor of the meninges, the thin membrane that covers the brain. “Parasellar” refers to a tumor near the sella turcica, a protusion of bone on the inside base of the skull. It is located several inches behind the eyes. To remove this tumor, Dr. Tenma is going to use a pterional approach — this means that he will be going through the pterion, an area at the side of the skull where several of the bones join together. It is one of the thinner areas of the skull and it makes since to use it as an entry point. Once the brain is revealed, Tenma retracts the Sylvian fissure and proceeds to the deeper portions of the brain to remove the tumor. Finally, “extirpation” refers to a surgical removal.

²The injured suspect has suffered a skull fracture. This has torn one of the blood vessels supplying the brain and led to an epidural hematoma (a blood clot between the brain and its thick outer covering). This hematoma is so large that it has increased the pressure on the brain enough to cause the brain to herniate — in other words, the increased pressure is forcing the brain down through the posterior of the skull toward the spinal column. This has damaged the third cranial nerve on the right side of the brain and caused a dilated right pupil (better known as a “blown pupil”). If untreated, a brain herniation can rapidly lead to death.

Tenma performs a craniotomy (basically, he drills a hole in the skull) to drain the hematoma and take the pressure off the brain. It is a successful operation though the patient continues to have some paralysis on the left side and a dilated right pupil afterwards. The left-sided paralysis is residual damage from the hematoma, which caused damage to the right side of the brain (remember the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, and vice versa). Cranial nerves are different, and damage to one side is reflected on that same side, hence the right-sided herniation leading to a right dilated pupil. Both the paralysis and papillary dilation should improve as the brain recovers, but may never recover 100%.

A final note: while the medicine remains sound, there are several misspellings in this chapter. It’s not really a surprise as these are complex medical terms and spelling them correctly is never easy. Furthermore, remember that the book is translating from Japanese to English a story about a surgeon in Germany, so it’s frankly impressive that this hasn’t been a problem before now. Anyway, Terional should be Pterional and Optic Chasm should be Optic Chiasm.

NOTE: Chapters 7 and 8 of Monster have no medical scenes, so this post is effectively the final Medical Annotations of Volume 1. Stay tuned for annotations of Volume 2 soon.

Tags: comics medicine meningioma epidural hemorrhage herniation naoki urasawa monster

It’s been a year since I took my last look at pregnancy in comics so I think it’s time to take an updated look. In the past few months alone, Selina had her baby, and unlike Jessica Jones, managed to have a pregnancy of less than a year (how long was Jessica pregnant anyway, 2 or 3 years?). As always, comments, corrections, and suggestions are appreciated. Thanks to everyone who has contributed in past years.

Heroes:
ADAM STRANGE
1. Alanna dies during childbirth.

ANIMAL MAN
1. Annie was pregnant and gave birth in the last issues of the series.

AQUAMAN
1. Dolphin and Garth (Tempest) had a son, Cerridan.
2. Mera’s pregnancy happened “off camera.
3. In the Atlantis Chronicles: Cora was raped by her cousin Dardanus and gave birth to Kordax (pregnancy not shown). Also Atlanna had a tryst with her ancestor Atlan and gave birth to Orin (Aquaman). This pregnancy was shown.

AVENGERS
1. Ms. Marvel was pregnant*
2. Scarlet Witch’s pregnancy was shown in the Scarlet Witch and the Vision mini-series, though her twins were later ret-conned out of existence. This led her to become murderously insane and then crossover-miniseries-murderously insane**. Apparently, the children have now shown up as characters in Young Avengers.
3. Jessica Jones was pregnant for what seems like years, and delivered a healthy baby.

BATMAN COMICS
1. Spoiler was pregnant and gave her child up for adoption in Robin; she later died during Wargames.
2. Francine (Man-Bat’s wife) was pregnant in the Batman titles in the 1970s and gave birth in Batman Family #17.
3. Batman and Talia had a son in the more-or-less non-canon Son of the Demon (though the pregnancy was pretty much “off screen”

CATWOMAN:
1. Selina gave birth in the first “One Year Later” issue of Catwoman. The pregnancy has not been shown (it was in that one year time gap) and the identity of the father is unclear at this point.

FALLEN ANGEL
1. Lee conceived a child with Juris. She let him think that she had miscarried after a fight with Boxer, but instead handed her son over to a nun.

FANTASTIC FOUR
1. Sue Richards had Franklin, and then lost her second pregnancy. A magical/time-stream induced third pregnancy gave the Richards a daughter, Valeria.
2. Lyja Storm was pregnant and gave birth to an egg.
3. Crystal and Pietro (Quicksilver) have a daughter Luna. Reed Richards (apparently an obstetrician in his spare time) delivered the baby.

FLASH
1. Iris was pregnant with twins at the time that the silver age Flash (Barry Allen) died.
2. Linda West lost twins due to an attack by Zoom. There was some question as to whether she would be able to become pregnant again. However, after another melee involving the timestream, Linda suddenly found herself very pregnant (from 0 – 9 months in seconds) and delivered a healthy set of twins.

HARBINGERS:
1. Kris Hathaway was pregnant and gave birth to the child who would be sent to the future to become Magnus, Robot Fighter.

INCREDIBLE HULK
1. Betty Banner was pregnant, but miscarried.

IRON MAN
1. Pepper Potts was pregnant, but miscarried.

JLA
1. Sue Dibny was pregnant when she was killedin Identity Crisis #1

JSA
1. Hawkgirl was pregnant as a teenager and gave the child up for adoption.
2. Dove was raped by Hank Hall (Hawk) and later gave birth to a child who ultimately ended up housing the soul of the new Dr. Fate, Hector Hall.
3. Power Girl was mystically impregnated by her grandfather Arion so she could give birth to the prophesied demon fighter Equinox.

INFINITY INC.
1. Hippolyta Hall was pregnant a long time, and ultimately gave birth to Daniel (who was taken from her by Morpheus to become the new Sandman).

KILLRAVEN
1. Carmilla Frost discovered she was pregnant in the Killraven graphic novel.

LOSH (1)
1. Garth Ranzz (Lightning Lad) and Irma Ranz (Saturn Girl) had twins. (Twins are the usual on Garth’s home planet of Winath; however, twins are determined maternally and Irma come from Titan. Plus are the twins fraternal or identical? Both have been shown on Winath in the series.)

LOSH (2)
1. In the “five years later” Legion, Night Girl was not only married to Cosmic Boy, but also pregnant.
2. Laurel Gand had a child by Rond Vidar.
3. The Ranzzs had a second set of twins during the five year gap.

LOSH (3)
1. Apparition (Tinya Wazzo) and Ultra Boy (Jo Nah) have married and had a child (Cub).

L.E.G.I.O.N.
1. Stealth had a child by Vril Dox.

MANHUNTER
1. Kate Spencer miscarried after a fight. She had not been aware she was pregnant.

MIRACLEMAN
1. Liz Moran gave birth in Miracleman #9.

MR. MIRACLE
1. Beautiful Dreamer was pregnant and gave birth.

NOBLE FAMILY
1. Zephyr became pregnant after a spiteful “night of passion” with her family’s greatest enemy. She delivered a healthy child, but it was stolen and she informed that her child had been stillborn.

SABRE
1. Melissa Siren was pregnant and gave birth in Sabre.

SQUADRON SUPREME:
1. Arcanna Jones was pregnant for most of the limited series, and gave birth sucessfully.

STARMAN
1. Jack fathered children with the Mist (see below) and his significant other, Sadie.

SPIDER-MAN
1. Mary Jane was pregnant but miscarried when one of Norman Osborne’s flunkies poisoned her before she gave birth (there is some debate online about whether she actually miscarried or the baby was stolen by Osborn).
2. Gwen Stacy had twins after an ill-advised tryst with Spider-Man’s greatest enemy: Norman Osborn (the Green Goblin).
3. In the Spider-Girl universe, Mary Jane’s second pregnancy was shown in detail.

TEAM TITANS
1. Donna Troy was pregnant at the beginning of this series. Her husband and child died in a car accident, and then she died in Graduation Day. She came back (again), but has yet to mention her family.
2. Mirage was pregnant at the end of the series and has since been shown with her infant daughter Julianna (Refresh my memory: was the father of Julianna the evil future Nightwing? And was it consensual?).

X-MEN
1. Madelynne Prior was pregnant with Scott Summer’s child (and gave birth to him) in the Uncanny X-Men. This child later went on through a very convoluted storyline to become Cable.
2. Wolverine left a pregnant lover behind in the Savage Land in the one-shot Wolverine: The Jungle Adventure (though it’s not 100% certain that he’s the father).
3. According to one of the tales in Classic X-Men, Colossus also fathered a child during a visit to the Savage Land (pregnancy off camera).
4. Angel Salvadore and Beak had a brood of flying beaked kids. Angel laid eggs, so I’m not sure you would necessarily call her pregnant.

Villains:
Punch & Jewlee
1. During their time inSuicide Squad, Jewlee suffered morning sickness and discovered she was pregnant. She and Punchh left the team soon thereafter and the pregnancy and delivery were “off camera.” They later showed up in Hawk & Dove toting a toddler.

Chesire
1. Gave birth to Lian, fathered by Speedy/Arsenal (Roy Harper). The pregnany was entirely off-camera, and Roy didn’t know he was a father until well after the fact.
2. She seduced Thomas Blake (Cat Man) in Villains United, allegedly for him to father a child for her.

Mist
1. Had a child by Jack (Starman). Pregnancy was entirely off camera.

Star-Sapphire
1. Raped by Predator (another of Carol Fenris’s alternate personalities) and impregnated in Green Lantern #43. Gave birth sometime during Extreme Justice.

Non-Super-Hero:
FABLES: Snow White became pregnant after a drug-induced night with Bigby. She later gave birth to a litter of wolf/human hybrids.

Y: THE LAST MAN:
1. Beth is pregnant with Yorrick’s daughter (note that this is not fiancee Beth, but another one)
2. The female astronaut conceived a child with one of her fellow astronauts and has delivered a healthy son

HELLBLAZER:
John Constantine’s birth was shown in detail, including the death of his mother and twin.

LUCIFER:
Jill Presto is mystically impregnanted by a magic deck of cards.

SWAMP THING:
Swamp thing used the body of John Constantine to father a child on Abby, unaware that John was tained with demon’s blood. Abby ultimately gave birth to Tefe. Not sure if pregnancy was “on camera” or not.

STRANGERS in PARADISE:
Francine miscarried.

ELFQUEST is chock-full of pregnancies and births. I’m not conversant enough with the series to comment.

Characters UNABLE to become Pregnant:
1. Black Canary – Sustained tortue injuries in Green Arrow: Longbow Hunters that rendered her sterile. Her recent dip in a Lazarus pit may have reversed this.

2. Firestar – Using her powers will cause her to become sterile. Hank Pym developed a costume for her that repairs the damage.

*Explanation per Matt Rossi: “Ms. Marvel was impregnated originally by Immortus’ son, who used the devices of Limbo to draw her to him, make her fall in love with him, and then implanted himself into her via some freaky Limbo technology. She then was sent back to Avengers mansion where she gave birth in an extremely short amount of time and the baby was Marcus, Immortus’ son (the one who impregnated her, remember) and then the baby, too, grew up rather remarkably quickly while time itself went ape because Marcus, concieved and born in Limbo, was a being out of time and his mere presence, not to mention the twisted nature of his self-conception into our world and the rapid time displacement, was shattering causality. Eventually Marcus agreed to go back to Limbo but pledged his love for Ms Marvel and asked her to come with him to Limbo, which she agreed to do and the Avengers let her (this was later pointed out to have been a really dumb move.) …I’ve simplified this immensely.”

**Explanation per Chris Arndt: “At first they were magically concieved from the Vision and Scarlet Witch’s love. I mean, how else could they do it? The Vision may be a synthezoid, but I bet he lacks swimmers. Heck, in Avengers West Coast, John Byrne revealed that the Vision didn’t even have external equipment, so to speak. Anyway, eventually it was revealed that the kids souls were re-allocated chunks of the major WCA villain at the time, Master Pandemonium. Mephisto stole his soul, broke it in five chunks, and Scarlet Witch accidentily made off with two of them when she started concieving babies; turns out creating life was beyond her; she still housed souls but later the housing disappeared when her thoughts were not specifically on her children. Raw deal. Her memories of the kids were erased to remove the trauma. All in all it turned out to be a good story but definitely something too dark for an all-ages comic. The worst part is that it was part of Byrne’s de-construction of the Scarlet Witch. She made up her children; she forgot her children; most readers assumed that the Vision was anatomically on-model and as Star Trek’s Data puts it “fully functional” and then Byrne revealed that the synthezoid lacked a male member (and based on dialogue the sudden absence wasn’t a noticeable change) which would essentially de-humanize the character to the greatest degree and thus make the Scarlet Witch the sickest she’s ever appeared to her fans. You can fool a legion of nerds, geeks, sci-fi fans, and whatnot into thinking she married a man if they’re given the impression that the Vision is a man but for his origins. It’’s harder to achieve the idea that she married anything but a robot, something with a life value or even a sexual value equevalent “to a toaster oven” when the robot in question has no Mr. Happy!”

Tags: comics medicine pregnancy

Tonight on House, repeats of the first two episodes of the second season: Acceptance and Autopsy. The first one, Acceptance, was decent, about a B or B+, while Autopsy was one of the worst of the season, earning a measly C-.

Instead of watching Autopsy again, go check out the best of medical blogging, Grand Rounds, this week hosted at Health Voices.

• A list of all prior House reviews

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

Roughly half of this week’s 52 takes place in a hospital. I’m going to take a brief look at those scenes from a medical point of view. There are plenty of spoilers below, so be warned.

As always, I find the the concept of a hospital devoted to superheroes fascinating. It’s been done before in the small press (Antarctic’s Metadocs most notably), but this is the first time I remember seeing it in one of the “big two.” Plus it’s always nice to see Dr. Midnite. Douglas over at 52 Pickup does a nice job explaining who St. Camillus was (and he’s right about the art as well — I think the majority of the problems I noticed were art related).

I genuinely enjoyed the hospital scenes. Please remember that as I proceed to nit-pick them to death.

1. Cyborg/Firestorm

• “Time-Freezing Drugs” — must be nice. (page 7)

2. Mal Duncan

• Why does he have cardiac electrodes on his abdomen and none on his chest? (page 8)
• Septicemia means that there are infectious bacteria running rampant in his blood stream. (page 8)
• Pseudocytes. Sounds like they’d work, in a science-fiction kind of way. Otherwise it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to give Mal standard transplant drugs to resist rejection since they’d lower his immune system, and he already has a nasty infection. (pages 8, 9)
• That’s sure a screwed up rhythm on the bed monitor. It looks like a nasty ventricular tachycardia. Regardless, it sure is convenient the way it starts and stops precisely within the confines of the monitor. (page 13, upper left)
• Counseling. Good call, Steel. It’s nice to see someone address the fact that healing is not always just physical. (page 13)
• It would be nice to know what kind of arrest Mal is in. It could be cardiac arrest, respiratory arrest, or both. His heart rhythm was nasty, but remember Dr. Cross “didn’t like the sound of this young man’s breathing” (and why’s he complaining to the nurse rather than doing something about it?). If it is a cardiac arrest, it would be nice to know more, such as what kind of rhythm – if any – the heart is showing. The treatment varies depending the rhythm. (pages 13, 16)
• It looks like Mal’s gone into flash pulmonary edema, where the lungs quickly fill with fluid; this would explain the frothing at the mouth. (page 13, lower right)
• Full credit to the team for remembering the ABCs. Not only are they treating the heart (C = cardiac), but also the A and B (airway and breathing). (page 16, upper left)
• I was going to say that it’s nice to see Dr. Cross remembered to perform CPR, but then I noticed his hands: they’re in the wrong position and on the wrong part of the body. Also notice that the heart rhythm on the monitor looks good in this panel. At first I assumed that was the monitor of the next patient over, but page 8 shows no patient on that side of Mal. (page 16)
• Defibrillating (shocking) a patient in ventricular fibrilation or ventricular tachycardia is reasonable. It is not a good treatment for a patient in asystole (no heart rhythm). Defibrillation is a controlled application of direct current – enough to capture the heart rhythm, but not enough to fry the heart. I’m assuming Steel’s armor has all sorts of fancy equipment in it, because otherwise trying to restart someone’s heart using the AC current directly from a junction box would be foolish at best, but more likely lethal. (pages 16, 17)

3. Hawkgirl

• So she’s now 25 feet tall. This is the perfect example of the Square-Cube Law I mentioned last fall. She is now 4 times her normal size, but would weight 4³, or 64, times normal. Hawkgirl would barely be able to breath or pump blood. (page 6)
• I’m not sure what they’re doing with that giant electrical device on her chest — maybe it’s an external pump for her heart/lungs (?) – but I sure would have kept a twenty-five foot patient tied down. (page 16)

Tags: comics medicine 52 dr midnite steel ventricular tachycardia ventricular fibrillation asystole abc

I stumbled across the following quotes recently while perusing Wikipedia. The first quote concerns a comic publisher, the second is baout one of their comics. Can you guess which company and comic these refer to?

Quote #1: [Their] characters are often called the most important of those created after the Marvel revolution in the 1960s (when Spider-Man, X-Men, Fantastic Four etc were created).

Quote #2: The series is a super-powered team book that re-energized not only the genre but readership in the comics industry when the collector mentality was dominant.

Answer #1: The company referred to is none other than Valiant Comics. link

Answer #2: The comic in question is Harbinger, published by Valiant 1992-1995. Check out the link and read the “discussion” section. It’s hilarious if not a little sad. link

Tags: comics quiz

Not only is Leezle Pon an intelligent virus, but he’s a Green Lantern as well. Now that’s a clever character idea. He so needs to be brought back into continuity. (Maybe he was infecting Kilowog when he was resurrected? Hint, hint.)

From Green Lantern #188, “Mogo Doesn’t Socialize”, by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Tags: comics medicine green lantern smallpox alan moore dave gibbons

I’m feeling a bit under the weather this weekend, so I’m going to declare this “PSA Classic Weekend” and I’ll take a look back at some of the better PSA comic posts from the past two years here at Polite Dissent. First up is Spider-Man and Power-Pack, the infamous (and non-canon) story where Peter Parker reveals he was sexually abused by an older boy. Originally posted 14 November 2005.

Spider-Man and Power-Pack was a giveaway comic produced in 1984 by Marvel, the National Committee For Prevention of Child Abuse, and the NEA. Written to educate children about sexual abuse, this comic contains two stories.

The first is a Spider-Man tale written by Jim Salicrup and penciled by Jim Mooney. Peter Parker is in his apartment darkroom developing pictures when he hears something disturbing from the next apartment. Changing into Spider-Man, he swings over and finds that Tony, the son of the couple next door, has been abused by his babysitter Judy. Spider-Man wants Tony to tell his parents what happened but Tony is too scared.

Spider-Man tells Tony the story of a young man about his same age who lived with his aunt and uncle (could it be Peter Parker?). This young bespectacled boy was a bookworm and didn’t have many friends. He was pleased when a slightly older boy named Skip befriended him. Then one day, Skip pulled out some Girlie magazines (no really, that was the name of the magazine) and told Pete that they should “touch each other like the people in that magazine.” The young boy tells his aunt and uncle what happened and in the end everything works out. Spider-Man tells Tony that just like that other young boy, he should let his parents know what happened. Tony’s parents are very supportive and tell Tony that he did the right thing. They thank Spidey, but he tells them that there’s no need for thanks as Tony has already helped him. Web-swinging back to his apartment, Spider-Man realizes that helping Tony face his abuse has allowed Spieder-Man to face a dark chapter of his own past (an incident never mentioned again in any other Spider-Man comic book ever).

The second part of the comic is a Power Pack story by Louise Simonson with pencils by June Brigman and Mary Wilshire. Jane, a young school friend of the Power children, has run away from home because her father sexually abuses her. Jane told her mother what happened, but her mother didn’t believer her. The Power Pack are able to locate the runaway Jane and they bring her back to their house. Jane tells Mrs. Power what happened. After Mrs. Power consoles her, she gives Jane a number to call to get her family some help.

• SpiderFan on the Spider-Man portion of the story.
• Scott Shaw!’s Oddball Comics entry on this comic.
• The Appendix to the Handbook of the Marvel Universe entry on Skip Westcott.

Tags: comics medicine psa spider-man power pack child abuse

Single page PSAs and features were common in some of the older Dell and Gold Key television comics from the 1960s because they didn’t carry ads (at least at first), and had space to fill. This post from 10 August 2005 looks at a couple of these pages.

Still recovering from jet lag and lack of sleep (and being on call), so here are a couple more cover vignettes from medical comics of the 1960s. First, from the inside back cover Ben Casey #1 comes “Medicine’s New Wonder Machines.” A fairly optimistic look at medical technology. The Electron Microscope and Stereo Microscope have come to fruition, but the Electrical Anesthesia was a no go. There are variations of a Heart-Lung Machine used today, but nothing nearly as simple as pictured.

Next, from the back cover of Dr. Kildare #4 is “A Doctor’s Work” — and in color (or four-color at least). And there’s another image of the old style artificial respiration technique.

This is another older post that takes a look at some of these single page features.

Tags: comics medicine psa ben casey dr kildare

I’ve never been able to track down a full copy of Spider-Man and Power Pack, but I have managed to get a scan of the Peter Parker page in question. Click on the image for the full page.

Tags: comics medicine psa spider-man power pack child abuse

I’m going to end “PSA Classic Weekend” with one of my favorite PSA comics of all time: Superman For the Animals. Produced by DC Comics and the Doris Day Animal Foundation, this book features the artistic stylings of Tom Grummet and a script by a young Mark Millar. Originally posted 5 August 2004, take it away, Mark and Tom:

Before he wrote such compassionate comics as Wanted and Chosen, Mark Millar honed his writing skills on Superman for the Animals, a free comic published by DC Comics in January 2000 and co-sponsored by the Doris Day Animal Foundation. The story, entitled “Dear Superman…”, was written by Millar with art by comic book veterans Tom Grummet and Dick Giordano.

The comic tells the story of Tommy, a twelve year-old who moves to a new city and falls in with the wrong crowd. How do we know they’re the wrong crowd? Because they discuss comic books, of course (“Batman can beat Superman?! Man you need a shrink to take a look inside that crazy head of yours.”) Seriously, we know they’re a bad crowd because they’re cruel to animals. When we first meet gang leader Ballser, he is teasing a caged squirrel. This is followed by kicking pigeons, torturing goldfish, shooting junkyard dogs and throwing a kitten off an overpass onto a busy freeway below.

Luckily, Superman happens along just then (you knew he had to be in this comic eventually, after all his name is on the cover) and catches the kitten. Next, he stops a fire at the local chemical plant and manages to save Tommy’s dad. Watching Superman, Tommy realizes that it’s wrong to “pick on anyone weaker than you.”

Meanwhile, Ballser and the rest of the gang (Charlie, Donuts, and Eightball — no, really, that’s their names) have killed the science teacher’s pet squirrel. Tommy confronts Ballser and a fight breaks out between the two of them. Tommy lands the first punch, but then Ballser punches him repeatedly, first with his fists and then with a handy CD rack. Finally, he throws a small suitcase at Tommy. This suitcase conveniently breaks open, spilling out dozens of collars of local pets that had gone missing or been killed. Horrified, the rest of the group finally realized that hurting animals is bad (well, except for Ballser who attempts to go after Tommy with a baseball bat.) Tommy, Donuts, Charlie and Eightball fess up to the science teacher, and to make amends Tommy and Donuts volunteer at the local animal shelter. Ballser meanwhile finds himself dealing with the police and “sent into heavy duty therapy with a psychologist.” Tommy adopts the cat Superman saved, and then he and Donuts discover something better than maiming innocent animals: girls.

Besides the story and five pages of DC house ads, Superman for the Animals also contains a the alliterative Comics for Compassion Coloring Contest, where children 8-12 got to color a picture of Superman and tell DC Comics how they would help animals if they had super powers. The winner got the chance to appear in a DC comic along with their favorite pet. Sadly, I don’t know if this ever came to pass.

Other Interesting Facts about Superman for the Animals:

• The New England Anti-Vivisection Society (NEAVS) was originally scheduled to run a full color ad in the comic, but DC got cold feet at the last minute and canceled the ad “faster than a speeding bullet” NEAVS’s website tells us. The ad was then scheduled to run in the first issue of Bongo’s Bart Comics. (I can find no listing of any Bart Comics, I assume they mean Simpsons Comics Present Bart Simpson).
• Being cruel to animals is one of the diagnostic criteria for conduct disorder.
• 67,000 copies of the comic were released to comic book stores, packaged with copies of Batman: Gotham Adventures, Superman Adventures, Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E., Impulse, and Hourman (where I found my copy). I don’t think any of these titles still being published today. Not a good sign.
• An additional 6,500 copies were distributed by the Doris Day Animal Foundation to scout troops, social workers, school teachers, and social workers. Sadly, their supply is now exhausted and the comic remains out of print. However, it seems that their second Comics for Compassion, X-Men Unlimited #44, is still available.
• A vegetarian activist site proudly proclaims that “Mark Millar, author of Superman for the Animals, is a vegetarian.”
• Superman for the Animals can currently be found on eBay for $1-2, X-Men Unlimited #44 for 99?, and Simpson Comics present Bart Simpson can usually be found for 99? as well. Collector’s items each and every one. But them, save them, and send your kids to college.

Tags: comics psa superman mark millar tom grummet

Another of DC Comics’ AIDS Public Service Announcements from the early 1990s. This one features Green Lantern as he stops a rioting crowd from driving a gay couple out of town because “eveyone knows your kind causes AIDS!”

Click on the image for the full PSA

On one hand I applaud DC for taking an early (well, “early” in the mainstream comic book sense, at least) stand against discrimination.

But on the other hand, this is a really weak attempt. For an AIDS PSA, it leaves so many important things unsaid.

Green Lantern: But now AIDS is spreading fastest among people you wouldn’t expect.

What people “I wouldn’t expect”: Circus clowns? Professional Bull Riders? Midwestern physicians? How about some more pertinent information Green Lantern? Like most of the PSAs in this series, the intent is there, but the delivery leaves a great deal to be desired.

This PSA was scanned in from Catwoman #6 (January 1994).

Tags: comics medicine psa AIDS green lantern

Something caught my eye as I was reading through the new Wonder Woman #1: all three villains are doctors. There is Cheetah (Dr. Barbara Minerva), Giganta (Dr. Doris Zeul), and Dr. Psycho. The script isn’t even subtle about this fact, Minerva and Zeul get text boxes explaining their identity and Zeul even goes as far as correcting Wonder Woman (“It’s ‘Dr. Zeul’…”) when she addresses her as Giganta.

You can take it even one step farther: the villains are tied together (each is a doctor of some sort), yet each villain represents a different primary aspect of humanity. Giganta represents the physical (her size), Cheetah represents the spiritual (she gained her powers from a mystic “marriage” to an African god), and Dr. Psycho with his telepathy represents the mental.

Just food for thought.

Tags: comics medicine wonder woman cheetah giganta dr psycho

Tonight on Fox, House repeats it’s third and fourth episodes of this year. The first one, Humpty Dumpty, is one of the better episodes of the year and well worth watching. The second one, TB or Not TB, is fairly pretentious and not much fun, despite the appearance of Ron Livingston from Office Space (and Sex and the City). So my recommendation is to watch the first episode of House tonight and then switch over and watch the season finale of The Deadliest Catch on Discovery for the second hour.

• A list of all prior House reviews

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Grand Rounds is the weekly collection og the best medical blogging on the ‘net. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at The Haversian Canal.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

A friend of mine sent this to me, so I’m afraid I don’t know where it originated, but it’s clever enough that I thought I’d share it.
Update: Thanks to everyone who pointed out that this bingo sheet originated at Thick as a Brick.

Tags: television medicine house bingo

In my sick and cynical mind, this is how I picture the origin of the new Batwoman:

Original art by Bob Kane (with help from Sheldon Moldoff) from Batman #1 mixed with art by Sheldon Moldoff and Charles Paris from Batman #105

Tags: comics batwoman

Iron Man #7 “Execute Program, Part 1”
Daniel and Charles Knauf, writers
Patrick Zircher, penciler

In the heat of battle, Iron Man blasts the Dynamo with his repulsor rays right in the chest and the Dynamo falls to the ground, his heart stopped. Iron Man flies down next to him and sends several jolts of electricity through the Dynamo suit, restarting his heart. After the battle, we discover that this stopping/restarting the heart is precisely what Tony Stark planned on happening.

I’m of two minds about the medicine here, and both of them think it’s wrong. First, a shot to the chest would not stop the heart as abruptly as it was shown in the comic. Second, even if it did stop the heart, Iron Man’s shocking the Dynamo to restart it was a bad idea.

• It is a known fact that a strong blunt trauma blow to the chest can cause a fatal arrhythmia (bad heart rhythm). However, in these situations the heart doesn’t stop abruptly — as happens to Crimson Dynamo — but instead develops a dangerous rhythm such as ventricular fibrillation that then deteriorates into asystole (the absence of a heart beat). The heart would not have stopped beating as completely and as quickly as shown¹.
• When the heart has stopped beating entirely, despite what you see on television, the chances of successfully restarting it are dismal. The recommended treatments include CPR, epinephrine, atropine, and transcutaneous pacing. You’ll notice that defibrillation (shocking the patient) is nowhere on the list². It is not a recommended treatment for asystole because studies have shown that it leads to even worse than expected outcomes (in other words, it leads to more dead patients).

I’ll admit that stopping an opponent’s heart is a novel, if fairly unethical, approach to battling super villains. But I would recommend that Tony Stark do a little more research into the physiology of the human heart before attempting it again³.

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¹Unless, of course, Stark has developed some new Ultra-Repulsor-Heart-Stopper beams.
²Unless, of course, Stark has developed some new Ultra-Heart-Restarter-Shock gloves.
³Unless, of course, Stark has developed some new Ultra-”We-Never-Lose”-Manslaughter attorneys.

Tags: comics medicine iron man blunt trauma asystole defibrillation

Sincer he first debuted on this site last summer, there has been an increasing demand for the return of Frank Dale, Jungle Doctor. Due to a recent acquisition of Dr. Kildare #5, I can now happily acquiesce…here he is again: Jungle Doctor.

In scattered issues of the Dr. Kildare comic that was published in the early 1960s, there was a 4 page back-up feature called “Jungle Doctor.” These short adventures told the story of Dr. Frank Dale, a traveling doctor in deepest Africa, and his assistant, Bob Rose.
In last year’s adventures, Jungle Doctor decided who would be the chief of a village, and rescued a family trapped in a raging river. This time, Jungle Doc confronts “Jungle Fever” (and not in the slang, Spike Lee meaning).

Click on the panel for the full page of Jungle Doctor

Tags: comics medicine jungle doctor dr kildare jungle fever

Continuing the adventure “Jungle Doctor: A Dangerous Game“, orginally printed as the backup story in Dr. Kildare #5.

Click on the panel for the full page of Jungle Doctor

Tags: comics medicine jungle doctor

It seems to me that unless you’re a soldier or a police office, a job where you need to carry a gun would suggest a career change.

Click on the panel for the full page of Jungle Doctor

Tags: comics medicine jungle doctor

The final page of Jungle Doctor: A Dangerous Game.
(You know, I’ve had days like that in the office…)

Click on the panel for the full page of Jungle Doctor

Tags: comics medicine jungle doctor

I recently won a set of auctions for several hundred comics of the ’80s and ’90s. At what amounted to 20¢ an issue (with shipping), I was able to acquire a bunch of comic series and specials that I had thought about owning, but never had the time to seriously track down, or never wanted to spend that much money on. I’m about halfway through the stack now, and here are my thoughts so far:

Air Boy
Loosely based on the Goldenn Age Airboy (the new Airboy was his son). The supporting cast was great (Iron Ace, Valkyrie, Sky Wolf, the Heap), but I found most of the stories to be rather lackluster, particularly the later ones. I think the main problem was that the title character was so dull and bland. Writer Chuck Dixon didn’t seem to know which direction to go with the character and what sort of stories to tell, a fact admitted in the final issue.

American Flagg (both volumes)
The prototypical Chaykin-man: square jawed, follows his own set of ethics, likes the ladies. The Chaykin penned and drawn stories were great. When other writers tackled the character, it wasn’t nearly as enjoyable. While some of the non-Chaykin stories are quite good, nobody else seemed to have as much of a handle on the character. As far as I know, this is the first series to feature a main character (or at least major supporting character) with diabetes.

The Atlantis Chronicles
A history of DC Comic’s Atlantis, as told by Peter David and Esteban Maroto. The idea of having the official Atlantean chronicler as the narrator is a clever idea and bridges the issues well. The story starts out good, but seems rushed at the end. I think too much time was spent in the founding of the underwater cities, and the later stories suffered for it. The art is spectacular.

Hammerlocke
A nine-issue science fiction mini-series by DC Comics. I would love to see this reprinted on some high quality paper as the Chris Sprouse art is wonderful, but gets lost and muddy on the cheaper paper. It’s well done, but not quite what I was expecting. The story is fascinating and there are some good characters, but it could have used about three more issues or tighter storytelling.

Lois Lane
A very heavy-handed not-very-enjoyable morality tale. And did I mention it’s a two-double-sized-issues heavy-handed not-very-enjoyable morality tale. Has one of the most shocking and bizarre forgotten bits of continuity since Peter Parker’s childhood abuse was mentioned and then abandones in the Spider-Man/Power Pack special. Look for it in a PSA Monday post soon.

Metropolis S.C.U.
An enjoyable four issue mini-series starring (among others) Maggie Sawyer and everyone’s favoritebisected villain Terra-Man. Contains one of the most naturally written gay relationship storylines I have seen in a mainstream comic. Still I wonder about the name: If it’s Metropolis S.C.U., what are they doing jaunting all around the country and the world solving crimes?

Rocket Racoon
Classic Bill Mantlo and Mike Mignola craziness. Four issues was probably one issue too long, though.

Deadshot (first series)
Very well done, but then what would you expect from John Ostrander, Kim Yale, and Luke McDonnell? They set up a good mystery and keep you guessing until the end, though once you know who the mastermind is, the parts all fall into place.

Captain Atom
Extremely enjoyable. Probably the most readable and consistent translation of the prior Charlton characters. The first fifty issues in particular, written by Cary Bates, are well worth tracking down.

Impulse: Bart Saves the Universe
Fun, but I was expecting a little more craziness. Writer Christopher Priest has the speed power down well (but not as well as Waid did in the destined-to-be-a-classic Impulse #3, but misses the best part of Impulse…the impulsivity, the lack of post hoc ergo proctor hoc that makes bart so Bart (or did until Geoff Johns sadly adultified him in Teen Titans).

Fury/Black Widow: Death Duty
Prestige format blah!

As this mini-series starts, Lois is feeling low. She has recently bungled a major interview, and her reputation at the Daily Planet has never been worse. In the midst of a dinner date, she notices police cars tearing down the road and she ditches her date (and “borrows” his car) to follow them. She ends up at a crime scene where the body of a murdered little girl is pulled from the harbor. At that moment Lois Lane, prize winning journalist, has an ONISGS (Oh No, I Suddenly Got Stupid) moment and suddenly realizes that there are missing and exploited children out there, and all too often they turn up murdered.

She spends the rest of this comic and the subsequent issue, both double-sized issues mind you, trying to come to terms with the fact that children go missing and are murdered. She antagonizes Clark Kent, Lana Lang, Jimmy Olsen, Perry White and even her sister Lucy. She harasses the police and assorted businessmen. She meets with parents of missing and murdered children and attends their support groups. In the end, nothing changes, except that now Lois — and we, the reader — know of the dangers that children face.

To be fair, it is not the worst story I’ve ever read, nor even the worst PSA comic. The writer mentions that she was inspired to write this comic after watching the TV movie Adam. Missing and exploied children are an important topic, and the comic does present the information fully, both in the storyline and in the accompanying text pages, but it’s just so heavy handed it’s no fun. If anything, the comic tries too hard and takes itself too seriously. To begin with, it’s hardly the most pleasant idea for a story, and then when you add a depressed and obsessive Lois on top of that, it becomes virtually unreadable.
When you forget the First Rule of PSA Comics (”Keep It Brief”), the message just gets lost.

The art by Gray Morrow is very moody and fits the story well. However, considering that one of this comic’s themes is the exploitation of women and children, it’s amazing how often Lois ends up in her lingerie, just her bra, or in the all together.

The big shocker of the book comes near the end of the story, at a police press conference that Lois and Lana are attending. As the police are discussing a dead body that has been found, Lana gets nauseous and bolts from the room. Lois follows her. In the conversation that follows, we learn a little secret: While Lana was in Europe, she got married and had a son. This child was kidnapped by an Italian terrorist group who sent Lana a little memento — her son’s ear — before ultimately killing him. To this day, Lana keeps her son’s ear in her safe deposit box. So not only did Lana have a marriage and child in her past — a family that has never been mentioned before or since — but she keeps her dead son’s ear (which she describes as “a dried piece of skin that looks like an apricot”) at her bank.

Did I mention what an enjoyable comic this was?

Tags: comics psa lois lane lana lang

Tonight’s two repeat episodes of House, the fifth and sixth episodes of the second year, are both very watchable episodes. The first episode, Daddy’s Boy, had a good medical mystery and earned a solid B from me when I initially reviewed it. It is also full of great House/Wilson moments and we get to meet House’s parents, including everyone’s favorite ex-drill instructor, R. Lee Emery Ermey, who plays his father.

The second episode, Spin, has less exciting (and less accurate) medicine, but does give us a House at his absolute bastardliest, so that’s fun to watch. I gave it a B- the first time out.

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Need more good medicine? Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging on the ‘net. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at Dr. Deborah Serani’s place.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

In Captain Atom #46, Superman, Major Force, and the title hero are kidnapped by an alien refugee who’s creating an army of the strongest creatures from various planets. Superman and Captain Atom manage to escape and release all the other prisoners. In this scene, the heroes and aliens are trying to communicate with their kidnapper Kylstar through some alien translating devices. Take a look at the scene, particularly the word balloons, and see if anything catches your eye. (For a larger copy of the panel, click on the image.)

Click on the panel for the full-sized image

Hint: Take a look at the upper left work balloon. Look familiar, almost like it’s flipped upside down? To see the area in question rotated 180 degrees, click on link.

Answer: It says “Ozymandias! What a poem!…” Somehow, I think Shelley would be proud. link

• As far as I can tell, while the farthest right word balloon looks somewhat Kryptonian, it’s not.

Captain Atom #46 was brought to you by Cary Bates and Greg Wiseman (script), Michael Adams (pencils), Romeo Tanghal (inks), and John Workman (lettering). I’m not sure who to blame.

52, Week #7 “Going Down”
Writers: Johns, Morrison, Rucka, Waid
Art: Giffen, Lashley, Draxhall

Casts are used to support and protect a broken bone while it heals. They are used to immobilize any joint whose movement can affect the broken bone. This site has a nice overview of common types of casts.

• Montoya’s cast, take 1 (page 3, kitchen): It appears to be no more than a forearm sheath — it does not immobilize any joint.
• Montoya’s cast, take 2 (page 4, kitchen): The cast now appears to be a standard short arm cast, immobilizing the wrist.
• Montoya’s cast, take 3 (page 9, in front of the mansion): Back to the forearm sheath, no wrist immobilization.
• Montoya’s cast, take 4 (pages 10-13, inside the mansion): The big bulky cast is mostly hidden under a slim long-sleeved leather jacket. When it is shown, it looks to be the forearm wrap only with no wrist immobilization.

It’s all a moot point though really. Renee’s narration indicates that she suffered a fractured elbow and you’ll notice that none of the casts shown do anything to immobilize the elbow.

Actually, elbow fractures are rarely treated with casts. A long arm splint (with a sling) is used for 1-2 weeks, and then aggressive rehab is started so the elbow regains its mobility. If Renee fractured her wrist in week four, she should be out of any cast or splint by now (and if you look back at week five, you’ll notice that she’s using a sling but not a long arm splint).

Tags: comics medicine renee montoya fracture cast 52

Hard Time (Season Two) #5 “Bodies & Souls”
Mary Skrenes and Steve Gerber, writer
Brian Hurtt, artist

Cutter has been badly injured in a prison brawl and has been placed on a cot in the infirmary where the prison doc is performing a nephrectomy (removing his injured kidney).

I realize this is supposed to be an emergency effort to save the injured felon, but they probably should have bundled him off to a real hospital ASAP. They’re likely to do more harm than good in this situation. For example (from head to toe):
1. No anesthesia. He may be a killer and a hardened criminal, but he deserves some anesthesia. (They could be using some intravenous anesthesia like Propofol, but given how delapidated the infirmary seems to be, I think it’s unlikely they’d have such modern medicine. On the other hand, it takes less equipment than inhaled anesthetics).
2. No eye protection on the guy on the left.
3. What’s with the paper towels? The sterile field leaves a lot to be desired. Every time the surgeon leans over, he’s smacking the patient’s hand with his (allegedly) sterile gown,.
4. The kidney is located deep behind the abdomen in an area known as the retroperitoneum. It can be accessed from the back, in which case you need to cut through a few ribs, or from the front, in which case you don’t have to remove any ribs, but you do have to move a heck of a lot of bowel out of the way. They seem to have found a miraculous third way to remove the kidney here.
5. I think I’d restrain Cutter’s feet too, particularly since he didn’t get any anesthesia (see #1).

Tags: comics medicine hard time surgery kidney

What is the glaring medical error in this scene? No hints today — this one is fairly easy (and pretty funny, actually).

• Other Picture Quizes

Tags: comics medicine ultimate x-men quiz

It’s a beautiful day and I’ve spent nearly all of it working in the garden. For now, it’s a nice dinner and then off early to bed before my muscles start hurting too much.

Look at male characters in comic books and what do you see? Most have of full heads of hair, but a few are strikingly bald.

Now take a look around at the men of the real world and what do you see? Many men have a full head of hair and there are a few who are completely bald (but not as many as in the comics), but a large number of men are losing their hair. Where are these balding men in the comic books? Few and far between.

In the comics, balding men seem to fall into one of three categories: Servants or Advisors, C-list Villans/Heroes, or Mysterious Cosmic Powers.

Servants/Advisors include:
Alfred
Jarvis
Lucien
Vulko

C-Listers include:
Dr Druid
The Ventriloquist

Cosmic Powers include:
Guardians of Oa
Elders of the Universe

This is simply unfair, and as a man beset by limited follicular resources, I call upon the comic book creative community to bring us more realistic male character hairlines. Givem me major heroes and villains who find themselves irritated by hair restoral commercials on TV, who wear a hat at all times when out in public (a la Tim McGraw), or who sunburn their scalp because they forget they have to put sunsceen up there too.

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*As far as I can tell, there is one A-list balding villain (Ra’s Al Ghul). There are also 2 balding upper B-list villains, but in both of these cases, the hair loss accentuates their character. Baron Mordo’s balding is yet another another reason he’s not as good as Stephen Strange (who has a whole head of hair), and Hector Hammond’s hair loss is used to accentuate the physical weakness/mental strength dichotomy.

With nuclear missiles and missile shields in the news again, this PSA seems nearly as topical now as it did almost twenty years ago. From Eclipse Comics Airboy #22 (May 1987) comes this surprisingly political PSA entitled “Earth Island’s Do-It-Yourself SDI Survival Test.”

(For those of you who may not remember, SDI stands for the “Strategic Defense Initiative,” commonly called “Star Wars”, which was a plan to use armed satellites and ground-based counter missiles to protect the United States from a Soviet ballistic missile attack.)

Click on the panel for the full image

Tags: comics politics airboy missiles sdi

Tonight’s House episodes are repeats of the seventh and eighth episodes of the second season of House. Both are watchable, if not outstanding episodes.

The first, Hunting, deals with a young man infected with HIV who appears to be stalking House. Unsurprisingly, the culprit ends up being an obscue parasite, but the medicine is generally handled well and earns the episode a B+. For those of you who are interested in such things (and based on the number of times this search has appeared in my site statistics, there are a whole bunch of you), this is the episode that features the Cameron and Chase sex.

The second episode, The Mistake, is told mainly in flashbacks and deals primarily with Chase and whether or not his treatment killed a young mother. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth watching. It also earned a B+ in my initial review.

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Still in search of good medical entertainment and education? Grand Rounds is the weekly collection of the best medical blogging on the ‘net. It always features fascinating stories, advice, and insight into the medical field. Check it out this week at MedViews.

Tags: television medicine house grand rounds.

When reviewing comic books from a medical standpoint, certain errors crop up time and time again. Some of these errors can be blamed on the artist, and some the writer. Today, I’ll look at the five most common artistic medical errors in comic books (and I threw in a sixth one for good measure).

1. Oxygen Tubing I’ve talked about this one many times before. Nasal canulas have a specific look to them, and are not just tubes shoved up a nose. They’re terribly uncomfortable, but a great deal easier to use than the one-sided monstrosities most artists like to draw. Oxygen masks should not look like something that a fighter pilot would wear. If it has that Top Gun look, it’s wrong.

2. IVs Intravenous lines work by gravity, so they should be above the patient and there shouldn’t be long dangling lines. The most common places for IVs are the antecubital fossa (the inside of the elbow), the forearm, and the back of the hand. Never draw two needles going into the same IV site. With the exception of significant trauma or major surgery, blood transfusions are rare. So colorists, please put away the red marker.

Casts Casts are used to protect an injured bone and to immobilize joints. Casts should go under the clothes, not over as in this Birds of Prey cover — and one close inspection, that cast isn’t doing any immobilization either. (And let’s not forget Wildcat, who can not only change into his costume in mere seconds while fighting the Injustice Society, but manages to slip the costume on under his cast as well.)

Electrodes Cardiac electrodes should go on the chest, not the abdomen. EEG electrodes go on the scalp. Electrodes are pretty streamlined now and not very bulky. And for heaven’s sake, electrodes go on the skin and not the clothes.

Heart Monitors Cardiac rhythm strips should have a definite pattern to them. Each up or down line has a specific meaning, and it shouldn’t just be a jumbled collection of lines. I’m willing to cut some slack for patients whose hearts are failing, like Vicki Vale in the recent All-Star Batman and Robin #4, but not healthy patients as in this example from Daredevil.

Eye Protection Any surgeon and anyone working a trauma case in the ER will be wearing eye protection. For one thing, it’s an OSHA regulation, and the hospital can face a stiff fine. More importantly, it’s common sense. Anybody who has worked in medicine for a few years can relate a story of a splash of blood (or other less pleasant bodily fluids) to the face.

I think the majority of the medical errors I notice in comic books can be ascribed to the writer. However, because the storylines are so varied, it is unusual to see the same mistake repeated again and again and again. Still, there are certain themes that crop up frequently:

1. Germs Bacteria and viruses are two completely different kinds of organisms and the words are not interchangeable. Notable bad examples: Grant Morrison’s first Animal Man storyline (Anthrax is not a virus) and Geoff John’s Avengers Red Zone storyline (Necrotizing fasciitis is a bacterial disease, not a viral one). And they’re not plants either, so don’t pull that white-kryptonite-will-kill-the-virus nonsense. Notable bad example: Action Comics #363-366 (The Virus X saga)

2. Antibiotics Really a corollary of the first rule. Antibiotics kill bacteria, they do not kill viruses. Antivirals kill viruses. If you want a general term that encompasses both, use the word “antimicrobial.” Notable bad examples: In at least one Batbook, they refer to treating the Clench virus with Streptomycin, an antibiotic. In Elektra, news reports mention that an emerging strain of Influenza (a virus) is resistant to all penicillins (antibiotics).

3. You Cannot Shock A Flatline When the heart goes into asystole (a term for when it stops beating and has no electrical activity), the treatment is NOT defibrillation. To restart a non-beating heart, the recommended treatments are CPR, epinephrine, atropine, and transcutaneous pacing. Defibrillation does more harm than good. Notable bad examples: Iron Man #7, Action Comics #817, Superman #175, X-treme X-Men #18, and a certain superhero movie in theaters now.

4. Bad Radiology One of the trickier aspects of medicine to learn is which radiology study to order when. For certain situations, an x-ray is best. For others, a CT scan or MRI is betters. Sometimes, a less common test such as a myelogram or PET scan may be the right choice. Writers will often choose the incorrect test for the situation, and their most common choice seems to be the plain old x-ray. It’s certainly understandable that a layperson would call everything an “x-ray”, but don’t put those words in the mouths of doctors, who would certainly know better. Notable bad examples: Mutopia X #5, Phantom #1408, Amazing Spider-Man #3, Strange Tales #115. Sometimes the artist is to blame, drawing x-rays or other films that are anatomically impossible, or are far from realistic. Notable bad example: Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #192

5. Autopsies I simply can’t think of a remotely realistic autopsy scene in comic books. It’s either impossible things being discovered, blatantly obvious things being missed, untrained people participating, “heroes” walking off with some of the key body tissues, or just poor technique in general. Notable bad examples: Identity Crisis #2, Identity Crisis #6, JSA #67, 52 #3, Aquaman #30, Batman: Gotham Knights #73, and other Batbooks.

What’s your UDQ (Über-Doctor Quotient)? Do you have what it takes to be an über-doctor, the classic comic book doctor who can do everything? Take this simple quiz and find out: Several common family situations are described below. How would you, the nascent über-doctor, respond?

1. Your spouse complains that you spend too much time in the lab, and not enough time with them.
A. Buy your spouse flowers and take them out for a night on the town.
B. I have a spouse?
C. Remind them in no uncertain terms that science is your life.
D. Clone yourself, so that you can keep your spouse happy, but still keep up wour work in the lab.

2. Your daughter thinks that Britney Spears is the greatest musician ever, and plays her music loud enough to rattle the windows.
A. Confiscate her stereo.
B. Invent a special radio that substitutes a Patsy Cline song whenever your daughter tries to play a Britney Spears song.
C. Take her to the symphony, repeatedly, until she learns what real music is.
D. Build a time machine, go back in time, and prevent Britney’s parents from ever meeting.

3. Another driver cuts you off in traffic.
A. Ignore him. He is insignificant compared to your genius,
B. Three words: Alien death ray.
C. Tailgate him, honk, and give him the finger.
D. Using spare components found in the glove compartment, build a remote control device that will let you take control of his car. Have him pass a nearby squad car doing 80, in the wrong lane, backwards. That’ll teach him.

4. Your young child’s pet goldfish has unexpectedly died.
A. Flush!
B. Breed a species of long-lived goldfish that will outlive your child, and quite possibly, the human race.
C. Calmly explain the concept of death to them and buy them another goldfish.
D. Secretly replace the dead goldfish with a robot goldfish you built. Not only will this robo-fish never die, but it can teach them the ABCs and math up through trigonometry.

5. You find yourself trapped in a broken elevator with the very pregnant Mrs. Belding, who (of course) goes into labor.
A. Use the elevator’s phone to call 911.
B. Luckily, the credit-card sized first aid kit you keep in your wallet is equipped for any emergency, from childbirth through major surgery.
C. Try to fix the elevator.
D. Deliver the child, circumcise him, baptise him, toilet train him, and have him reading at a thrird third-grade level by the time the elevator is repaired twenty-minutes later.

Part 2 of the UDQ Quiz (including questions #6-10 and scoring) are coming soon, so keep your answers handy.

Tags: comics medicine über-doctor quiz

The last five questions of the “What’s Your UDQ” Quiz. The first five questions can be found here. Scoring is at the bottom of the post.

6. Your teen-age daughter has been asked to the Prom.
A. Forbid her from attending.
B. Allow her to attend, but only with a robot as a chaperone. Secretly arm the robot.
C. Allow her to attend, but set a strict curfew.
D. Secretly plant an audiovisual bug in her corsage. It also includes an alarm that is set to go off if the lights go out, another person comes within 8 inches, or her body temperature rises by more than one degree.

7. A telemarketer calls during dinner.
A. Hang up the phone (rude words are optional).
B. Invent a device that forwards all unwanted telemarketing calls to the local police station.
C. Double check to make sure that you are on the No Call list.
D. Portable and transmittable black-hole technology will make sure the telemarketer on the other end of the line never bothers anybody again, except maybe in the Negative Zone.

8. Your teen-age son gets in a minor fender bender and dents the family car.
A. Take the repair bill out of his allowance.
B. Not likely. That car is pure adamantium.
C. Do not allow him to drive again until he is 21.
D. Equip the car with a time-stasis device that freezes time around the car just before an accident is going to occur, thus preventing personal injury, vehicular damage, and any increase in the insurance premium.

9. Your experience excruciatingly bad service at a local restaurant.
A. Leave a single penny as a tip.
B. I’m too busy in the lab to eat out. Besides, protein paste is just as nourishing as any meal in a five-star restaurant.
C. Complain to the manager, flouting your “celebrity” status. Throwing a tantrum may add to the effect.
D. Construct a servo-bot out of a cigarette lighter, cell phone, and assorted condiments. When the restaurant owners see that it performs better than their human waiters, sell it to them for an exorbiant amount.

10. A rival scientist has stolen one of your inventions and claimed that he invented it.
A. Hold a press conference to denounce the theft.
B. Luckily, all your work is marked with copyright tags on the submolecular level.
C. A friendly phone call should resolve the issue, particulalry if one of your brawny assistants is there to enforce your points.
D. Encourage him to try out the stolen device, knowing that it is keyed to function only to your DNA. If anyone else uses it, they will find themselves on the wrong end of a micronization ray.

Scoring: For each “B” answer, score 1 point. Each “D” answer is worth 2 points. “A” and “C” answers are worth zero points. Total your points for all 10 questions to arrive at your UDQ. A UDQ of 0-3 reveals that you have no aptitude as an über-doctor, and little skill in science. If you are determined to live the life of a comic book hero (or villain), brawny thug is your best option. A UDQ of 4-8 shows a fair knowledge of comic book science, but no skill in über-science. You can still be a competent comic book character, just stay away from science. A UDQ of 9-12 demonstrates that you have an above average understanding of science, but lack the advanced knowledge required to be an über-doctor. This score suggests you would serve best as a lab assistant or jealous flunkie. A UDQ of 13-17 suggests that your competence with comic book science is well above average, and you likely hold a higher degree in some aspect of science or medicine. You need to concentrate on the knowledge of “everything else” that marks a true über-doctor. A UDQ of 18-20 reveals that you have the necessary knowledge, training, and aptitude to be an über-doctor, if you can ever get up the nerve to actually leave campus. A UDQ of 21+ means that you have defeated the time-space continuum and achieved a better-than-perfect score. This marks the epitome of über-docness: the über-über-doctor. Congratulations!

Not happy with your score? Check out these books: Raising a Family the Fantastic Way, by R. Richards; Power and Fear Through Any Means Necessary, by V. VonDoom; Everybody’s a Little Furry, by H. McCoy; and I Know Everything And With My Special Course and $19.95, You Will Too, by B. 5.

Tags: comics medicine über-doctor quiz