Polite Dissent

New Warriors #22 “Nothing But the Truth, part one”

If Chord is breathing through a tracheostomy, why does he need a nasal cannula (and an incorrectly drawn one at that)?

New Warriors #25 “Nothing But the Truth, part four”

Sodium Thiopental, also known as Pentothal, is a barbituate best known as a “truth serum.” It is most commonly used in medicine to induce anesthesia. The maximum dose is around 100MG (depending on the patient’s weight and age. Frail little old ladies are on the lower side of the dosing schedule).

In other words, Silhouette has just delivered a dose of Sodium Thiopental at least twenty times higher than the maximum dose. Despite what Night Thrasher states in the next panel (not shown — find your own copy), that is a lethal dose. Nice going Silhouetter, you just poisoned your own grandmother (though to be fair, she did try to blow you up a few issues earlier).

Both issues were written by Fabian Nicieza and penciled by Mark Bagley

Third year of medical school was divided into 3 “minor rotations” of 2 months each and 2 “major rotations” of 3 months each. The minors were OB/Gyn, Pediatrics, and Psychiatry. The majors were internal medicine and surgery. Surgery was then further divided into the A, B, and C courses. These essentially broke down as follows: A level was designed for students who knew that they wanted to be surgeons. It consisted of long hours, but offered the most chance of hands-on work and getting to know the right surgeons. B level was for students who were considering surgery as career choice, but hadn’t made up their mind yet. It still had a lot of hands-on opportunities, but it wasn’t quite as grueling as the A level courses. It also had more of the “romantic” aspects of surgery (trauma! transplant!) designed to sweep students off their feet. Finally, there were the C level courses. These were for students who were already certain that they weren’t going into surgery. Supposedly, it wasn’t as labor intensive as the A and B levels, and had more general interest rotations. By this time, I had already decided on Family Practice, and while I found surgery fascinating, I knew it wasn’t for me, so I went straight for the C level courses.

My three months of surgery consisted of, in no particular order: one month of Pediatric Surgery (rather boring; bland attendings and residents), one month of General Surgery at the VA (easily the worst month of my life, ever. We were horribly understaffed and the residents were as unhappy to be there as we were, and took it out on us.), two weeks of ENT (fun, but then I already knew all the attending and residents from bartending their Christmas party. But that’s another story), and two weeks of Vascular Surgery. Vascular was probably my favorite rotation. It consisted of two attendings, one resident, and me. They were very happy to teach and respected the fact that I was going into Family Practice. They went out of their way to make sure that I learned the aspects of vascular surgery that would be important in primary care.

That was a long set up for a very short story…

It was in a Vascular Surgery case that I was given my first chance to suture a patient all by myself. We were performing a carotid endarterectomy, and had used part of the saphenous vein for the procedure. While the surgeon was finishing up in the neck, he looked over to me and said, “Scott, why don’t you close up the leg incision?”

“Sure!” I said, almost confidently. A nurse handed me the proper gear and some suture and I got started. At the far end of incision, I threw in a stitch, tied a knot, and then worked my way up the incision, one subcuticular stitch at a time. Subcuticular stitches are done just under the skin and use absorbable suture, so they don’t have to be removed; they dissolve away on their own. It’s a zig-zag style of suturing, and the trick is getting the two sides to line up.

I was being extremely careful, making sure that both sides lined up, and ensuring that I did everything “by the book.” The end result, if I do say so myself, looked pretty good. Sure, one end was a little dog-eared, but the surgeon didn’t seem to mind (“Just throw a steri-strip on there!”). However, when I tied the final knot, I looked up and realized that the main surgery was long over and the entire surgical team had been watching me — for the past hour. Yes, it took me well over an hour to sew up what amounted to little more than a 4-inch incision. I was mortified. The surgical team were all good sports about it, but I was sure I had just flunked my rotation.

The surgeon gave me another chance to suture the next day, so I probably wasn’t as bad as I remember — or maybe I was, and he thought I needed all the experience I could get. Either way, he gave me a good grade at the end, so I like to think I finished the rotation with some decent suturing skills (though I haven’t use subcuticular stitches much since).

Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies #10 (Dell, 1942)

In this scene from Flash #100 (the conclusion of the excellent Terminal Velocity storyline), Jesse Quick is telling Jay Garrick about her sidelining injury. As a bonus, I’ve thrown in a view of the actual injury from the previous issue.

What’s wrong with this scene?

(This one’s easy, so no hints…well, except for the one I’ve already given…)

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As they hand you a citation for illegal fireworks possession, just remember “The Policeman is Your Friend.”

(I’ve got nothing against policeman; I respect the job they’re doing. However, I am annoyed at some of my idiot sown-the-street neighbors who continue to shoot off bottle rockets all night long. First, Independence Day was three days ago. Second, they’re illegal in this state. Third, you’re waking up the baby. And fourth, I’m sick and tired of finding dozens of spent bottle rockets littering the neighborhood’s yards every morning).

Back to the PSA — I am wondering how Timmy managed to get himself locked in the grocery store. A town with residents like that certainly needs a nice — and patient — policeman.

Click on the image to the right for the full ad

This public service ad was provided to me by H, who found it in Adventure Comics #347. It can be found in other DC comics from August 1966 as well. The script is by Jack Schiff (like always) with art by Sheldon Moldoff.

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Scene from Invaders #14 by Roy Thomas and Frank Robbins

They shot innocent doctors who were just trying to help.

Spitfire was a super-speedster who first appeared in the pages of The Invaders, a 1970s comic that chronicled the adventures of a team of super-heroes during World War II. In the past few years, she has been seen in Captain America and the Union Jack mini-series. More recently, she has been appearing in Captain Britain and M.I. 13. Her origin story takes place in 1942.

During the events of The Invaders #9, Jacqueline Falsworth was attacked by the vampire Baron Blood — who also just happened to be her uncle, long thought deceased. He drained her blood in order to turn her into a vampire, in part to get revenge on the Falsworth family, but also because he wanted an undead consort¹. The Invaders arrived in time to stop Baron Blood, but Jacqueline had lost a tremendous amount of blood and was in grave danger. She was rushed to the nearest hospital in Invaders #11 ².

The doctors hurried Jacqueline to surgery and were amazed that she sustained that much blood loss from such tiny wounds³. Testing reveals that she has a strange substance in her blood that constantly changed her blood type. This makes transfusion a challenge, and the head doctor laments that Jacqueline cannot receive blood transfusions of any type, even type O⁴.

The Human Torch⁵ enters the operating room and volunteers his own blood; he tells the doctors that he is a true universal donor⁶. The doctors immediately agree⁷ and hook the Torch up to the transfusion equipment.

Jacqueline survives despite her tremendous blood loss, thanks to the incredible amount of blood donated by the Human Torch⁸. Other than merely saving her life, the Human Torch’s android blood somehow combined with the vampire proteins of Baron Blood that were already in her system to grant her super speed⁹, powers she used to become the super-heroine Spitfire.

NOTES:
1. I know vampire stories are supposed to represent some “forbidden” component of sexuality, but your own niece as a consort? That’s just creepy.
2. It didn’t really take 2 issues for the Invaders to find a hospital — there was an intervening fill-in reprint issue.
3. If I were a vampire, I would bite the neck vertically, along the blood vessels, not horizontally where you’re guaranteed to miss with at least one of your fangs.
4. Blood type is based on which proteins are present on the membrane of person’s red blood cells. Type A has A proteins, Type B has B proteins, Type AB has A and B proteins, and Type O has neither A nor B proteins. For Jacqueline’s blood to keep switching blood types would mean that these proteins must be constantly changing, and the body simply does not work that fast. Even if her blood type were constantly switching, she should still be able to receive a transfusion of Type O blood . It could be that there is some vampire antibody in her system that reacts against any human blood type — that makes the most sense, though it doesn’t really “change” her blood type.

5. This is the original Human Torch, an android. Not the Human Torch who is a member of the Fantastic Four.
6. The last time the Human Torch gave blood, it was described as “live fire” and required asbestos tubing. I guess he’s mellowed out since then.
7. Apparently, the doctors just take his word for it since they don’t run any tests on him.
8. If the Human Torch’s blood is that good, and he can produce so much of it, surely he could save more lives by donating it to blood blanks than by acting as a super-hero. There are other super-heroes to fill in on the Invaders, but only one blood producing android.
9. For those keeping track at home, like all previous super power giving transfusions, this was a whole blood transfusion (as much as androids have “whole blood”).

All images are from Invaders #11 by Roy Thomas and Frank Robbins

Other Comic Book Transfusions

After World War II ended and the Invaders disbanded, Spitfire retired and resumed her normal life as Jacqueline Falsworth. Her super-speed powers slowly faded, and over time she became a wife, mother, and then a widow. She appeared in the occasional comic book, generally as an elderly woman recalling her lost hero days. Her most notable cameo was probably in Captain American #253-254 which introduced the third, and current, Union Jack. Then John Byrne’s Namor the Sub-Mariner series came along, and in it, he revisited some of the foes the Invaders fought.

In issues #11 and 12, Master Man and Warrior Woman (the Nazi versions of Captain America) were reborn using some of the Human Torch’s blood (good stuff, that android blood). Namor, who was visiting Germany at the time, tried to stop them but was captured. His cousin Namorita flew off to get help and, ending up in England, encountered Jacqueline Crichton (nee Falsworth). She recruited Union Jack and the three of them headed off to Germany to rescue Namor and the Human Torch.

In the end, Master Man, Warrior Woman, their neo-Nazi gang, and the German scientist who had resurrected them were all defeated, but Jacqueline was gravely wounded in the battle. To save her life, the Human Torch hooked her and himself up to the German transfusion machine, and once more, transfused his blood into Jacqueline. Just like before, the Torch’s blood saved her life and (re-)awakened her speed powers. But it did more this time: it de-aged her back to age 16. (I don’t know if Spitfire has continued to age from 16, as she certainly appears older than that in recent comics, or if the powers-that-be decided that a 16 year-old Spitfire was a little too Lolita, so decided she was just better off as a twenty-something). Some technobabble (courtesy of John Byrne and Hank Pym) was used to explain this all away, but it wasn’t even very good technobabble as the writer seems to give up halfway through.

It was such a busy and hectic Friday at the clinic that I needed to take a sanity check, so I thought it would be the perfect time to stop and enjoy one of the best comedy routines of all time: Abbott and Costello’s Who’s On First.

Here are couple of more modern takes on the same skit. First, Johnny Carson as Ronald Reagan:

Second, Slappy and Skippy Squirrel at Woodstock, from Animaniacs (frankly, this is only Slappy sketch I could stand. I never really liked that character, nor the pigeon Goodfeathers)

Script by Ben Raab, pencils by Sunny Lee
Today’s example of the psychic nosebleed features Aquaman — or really Aquaboy, as it comes from the Sins of Youth: Aquaboy/Lagoon Man one shot. In this scene, Aquaboy is using his mental-telepathy-with-sea-creatures on the ensorcelled princess Nuada, trying to convince her that she is not an octopus.

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Tags: comics medicine nosebleed aquaman aquaboy sins of youth

It’s that time again — time to look at another of the public service ads from the bizarre “Verb” ad campaign that ran in various comics over the past few years. The aim of the campaign was laudable: get kids outside and active — but the ads themselves are where it all falls apart — they’re either bad, surreal, or both. This one falls more in the surreal category.

Click on the image to the right for the full ad

Fore some reason, this ad always makes me think of the awesome Happy Fun Ball.

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Before going on a long space voyage or traveling to the 30th century, make sure that you are familiar with the stages of Space Fatigue:

The treatment is positively medieval: trepanation. Basically, the doctors are drilling a hole in the skull to let the bad influences out. Sure, they coach it in terms like “scalpel rays” and “remove the pressure”, but don’t let that fool you — the doctors of this “great medical foundation” of the future are proposing a treatment for Sun Boy right out of prehistoric times.

Of course it could be worse, Sun Boy could be space crazy..

How do you stay true to the aesthetics of your Egyptian-themed cult while still letting the world know that you’re an eminent scientist?

Easy — just wear a lab coat over your Ten Commandments inspired fetish cult outfit.

scene from Revenge of the Living Monolith (Michelinie, Silvestri)

Extolling the virtues of the United Nations was a common theme of DC Comics’ Silver Age public service ads; the subject came up quite a bit (and I’ve only reproduced a handful of them, there’s plenty more). Here’s one from December 1958 titled “Sharing — The United Nations Way!”

The subtitle almost makes the ad sound exciting (“A true story from the files of the International Labor Organization”), but don’t let that fool you — a best seller it’s not.

Click on the image to the right for the full ad.

Like many of the United Nations public service ads, this one strikes me as a little condescending — but admittedly it’s not as bad as some others. On the other hand, unlike several other United Nations public service ads, this one was never re-used — so maybe I’m not the only one who dislikes it.

This PSA was scripted by prolific PSA writer Jack Schiff, with art by this time by the George Roussos. This copy comes from The Brave and the Bold #21(starring the Silent Knight and Viking Prince — no Batman team-ups yet).

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In this scene from Adventure Comics #325, Brainiac 5 spouts some pure Grade-A technobabble. Seriously, this is some of the best (or worst) technobabble that I’ve come across. It rivals anything from acknowledged technobabble master Bob Haney.

While reading this scene, it occurred to me that despite Brainiac 5 being one of the preeminent scientists of the DC universe, this is the first time I can remember him spouting technobabble. I suspect that’s because Brainy never explains why he’s doing things, he just does them — thus no need for explanations or technobabble.

As noted, the panels are from Adventure Comics #325. The artist is John Forte. According to the Grand Comic Database, the writer is Edmond Hamilton; however, the Showcase Presents the Legion of Super-Heroes, Vol 2 (where I scanned it from), lists Jerry Siegel as the author. Regardless, in this scene, Brainiac 5 is trying to help the young Luthor avoid a life of evil — though Brainy doesn’t realize that he is really dealing with an already evil Luthor who has cleverly disguised himself with…a wig.

from Fantastic Worlds #5 (1952)

By day, Bob Benton is a seemingly normal — and incredibly brilliant — pharmacist who runs his own small drug store. However, whenever evil or danger appears, he becomes the costumed crime-fighter known as the Black Terror. Thanks to “formic ethers” he invented, he has gained heightened strength, speed, agility, and endurance. But even more than that, he has the power of pharmacy.

This is impressive detective work on the Terror’s part. He is able to recognize the exact drug in the pill, despite the fact that it was a specially compounded pill. In other words, this was no mass-produced pill, but instead one that was created from the constituent chemicals by a local pharmacist — no easy to read manufacturer’s markings! That’s why it’s so impressive that the Terror was able to identify the medication just by looking at it and without having to run any tests at all.

Dilantin sodium (more commonly known as just “Dilantin“, or by its generic name “phenytoin“) is a potent anti-seizure drug. It was first discovered in the early 1900s, but it wasn’t until 1938 that its ability to treat seizures was recognized. It was approved by the FDA for epilepsy in 1953, and quickly became one of the main seizure medications because it lacked the severe sedative side effects of previous medications. It is still a common medication for epilepsy today. (This story appeared in 1947, several years before Dilantin was FDA approved, so the Terror is probably correct in referring to it as a “rare drug” — at that point it was, for a few more years anyway).

There has been some evidence over the years to suggest that Dilantin has a role as a psychiatric medication as well; it seems to show both anti-anxiety and mood stabilization properties. It is these anti-anxiety properties that the Terror is referring to, implying that one of the crooks was using it to treat his anxious tic. (For the record, Dilantin has never been FDA approved for these psychiatric conditions.)

Bob Benton tracks down the local pharmacy that made the pills, and the pharmacist helpfully tells him exactly who the pills were for. So much for patient confidentiality. (This may have been before HIPAA, but I suspect sharing such information so freely was at the very least a breach of pharmacist ethics, if not state law). Thanks to the helpful pharmacist, the Black Terror shows up the crooks’ front door step, apprehends them, return the stolen jewelry, and gives the antique chair to the old man. Just another day in the life of a super-pharmacist.

Script by Michael Golden, pencils by Ramon Bernado

For today’s example of a psychic nosebleed, we return to chronic bleeder Nate Grey, i.e. “X-Man.” In this scene from X-Man Annual ‘97, Nate is using his powers to fight explosive decompression and close an enormous hole that has been ripped in the side of a Shi’ar destroyer (or maybe it’s a cruiser, I could never tell those apart).

Not to give too much away, but he succeeds.

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Tags: comics medicine nosebleed x-man nate grey shiar

I have nothing to add to this, other than to report that the Boys Town National Hotline is still going strong and is a good resource for troubles teens and their parents. The number remains 1-800-448-3000.

This image was scanned from New Warriors #33 (March, 1993)

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From the Darwin Awards website:

The Soviet Union is home to a growing number of psychics and mentalists. E. Frenkel, became convinced that he could use his powers to stop vehicles in their tracks. He believed that “in extraordinary conditions of a direct threat to my organism, all my reserves will be called into action.”

Frenkel started small — a bicycle here, an automobile there — before graduating to streetcars. Finally, he devised an ultimate test of his psychic power: he would halt a freight train in its tracks.

The engineer of the train that ran Frenkel over saw him toss his briefcase aside, and step onto the tracks with arms raised, head lowered, and body tensed. The engineer applied the emergency brakes, but it was too late.

At the very least, I’m sure his nose was bleeding.

The problem is that you’re trying to find Power Girl’s heart rate by listening to the back of her forearm.

Look, I can understand that you’re intimidated by Power Girl’s prodigious expanses of upper torso real estate, but you’re supposed to be a professional — get over it and listen to her chest. Or at least find the pulse in place where one is detectable, say the neck (carotid artery) or cubital fossa (brachial artery).

It is nice to see Dr. Beth Chapman, a.k.a. Doctor Midnight, back alive, though that outfit remains one of the ugliest costumes ever — but please tell me she’s not listening to the stethoscope through her costume.

script by Eddie Campbell and Darren White, art by Bart Sears

What’s the error in this scene from Legends of the Dark Knight #200?

I reviewed this issue when it first came out, and other than some geographic/medication concerns, I was impressed by it. Now that it has been re-released as the final part of the Batman: Going Sane TPB, the time seemed right to take another look at it — and I’m afraid that I was overly generous in my initial assessment. Expect that mistake to be remedied shortly.

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