Polite Dissent

Since I’ve looked at what chemicals (at various times) have made up the traditional Joker Venom, now’s the time to see what makes up the new intoxicating but non-toxic Joker Juice seen in Detective Comics #867.

According to Batman, the new Joker Juice causes “euphoria, mild hallucinations, increased energy levels, uncontrolled hilarity, and muscular spasms.”

1. Strychnodide
A (fictional) metabolite of the poison strychnine. According to Batman, it is responsible for the infamous Joker grin. This is also likely what is causing the “muscular spasms” he mentions. Speaking of muscle spasms, it’s interesting how the drug only has long-lasting effects on the smile muscles, but not on muscles elsewhere in the body.
I do like how Batman gives the Joker smile a Latin name: rictus sardonicus.

2. Methamphetamine
Methamphetamine, a type of Speed, is also known as meth or crystal meth. Basically, it’s an extremely potent and addictive stimulant. Methamphetamine would explain the increased energy levels Batman mentions, and would play a role in the euphoric feelings a as well.

3. MDMA
MDMA (3,4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine) is better known as Ecstasy. The use of this drug would also explain the increased euphoria, and is probably responsible for what Batman terms “mild hallucinations” (though MDMA causes more of disturbance in sensation than a true hallucination).

4. Nitrous Oxide
Nitrous Oxide is also known as Laughing gas, it has some legitimate medical uses including mild anesthesia. Along with methamphetamine and MDMA, Nitrous Oxide causes euphoria. It has been known to cause mild hallucinations, but like ecstasy, it’s more of a disturbance in sensation than actual hallucinations. I suspect Batman also blames it for the “uncontrolled hilarity” — but despite its nickname, nitrous oxide doesn’t really cause bursts of laughter.

Only a few weeks of summer vacation left, just enough time for one last camping trip — and here is Peter Porkchops to teach a few lessons about camping and fire safety.

It should have been a no-brainer for Peter to realize that Wolfie was the culprit — he’s the only antagonist in the series, after all! (It would be like G-Force being shocked — shocked, I say! — to find out that Zoltar was the villain behind their latest mission).

This public service ad is found in DC comics from August 1956. The script is by Jack Schiff and has art by Win Mortimer.

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Tags: comics psa peter porkchops camping fire summer jack schiff win mortimer

In More Fun Comics #85 (November 1942), Kent Nelson, a.k.a. Dr Fate, decides he wants to become a medical doctor. He then proceeds to study and graduate with a medical degree all within the space of one story (four panels actually). This is no multi-year montage; this takes place within the ongoing storyline.

As far as I’m concerned, there can only be one explanation for this: correspondence school.

(And despite what whoever wrote the Wikipedia page on Dr. Fate thinks, interne is not a misspelling, but is the traditional spelling — and the preferred one back in the 1930s and 1940s — for “intern”.)

He may have gone to correspondence school, but at least Kent Nelson (Dr. Fate) knows how to use a head mirror — though he looks quite grumpy about it, almost like Dr. Caveman.

Red Robin #15 “The Hit List, part three: Secret Identity Crisis”
Fabian Nicieza, writer
Marcus To, penciler

Tim Drake-Wayne (Jingleheimer-Schmidt) is shot while giving a speech and rushed to the hospital for treatment. Several days later, a hospital spokesman gives a press conference:

I’ve got a few concerns with the hospital spokesman’s statement:

First, depending on the person, the human spinal cord ends somewhere between the first and second lumbar vertebrae. There is no spinal cord to get nicked at the level of the third lumbar vertebra. True, there are several spinal nerves remaining in the spinal canal at that level, and they can certainly be injured, but there is no spinal cord.

I suspect that what Nicieza meant was that Tim suffered an injury at the third lumbar segment of the spinal cord. An injury at this level would be consistent with the lower extremity muscle weakness he demonstrates later. However, since the adult spinal cord is much shorter than the spinal column, the third lumbar segment of the spinal cord is actually found several levels higher than the third lumbar vertebra. I know it’s confusing, but no one ever said human anatomy made sense (and if it did, my first year of medical school would have been a great deal more fun).

Second, if Tim’s spinal cord (or spinal nerves) were just nicked along the left side, why is he wearing braces on both of his legs?

(Third, and this is truly a nit-pick: it should be third lumbar vertebra. Vertebrae is plural.)

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a list of the interesting (and frequently frightening) searches that bring people to Polite Dissent. I think I’ve finally reached the point where little that people search for online surprises me anymore — but what does amaze me is how they ended up here.

Search terms are in bold (with spelling and punctuation intact). My comments are in green italics.

so i herd you have a second copy of your 21st chromosome….
Everybody has a second copy of their 21st chromosome (remember, humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes). It’s when you have a third copy of chromosome 21 that there’s a problem.

did j.michael straczynski ruin spider-man?
Not permanently.

lap dance fungal infection
Giving or receiving? Either way, there’s a cream for that. Make an appointment.

my stethoscope on her heart sex
If you’re doing it right, her heart should be going very fast. If it’s not, then put away the stethoscope and start concentrating on her.

nurse falls in love with patient can she continue to nurse him
That depends, is she a wet nurse?

white spots on upper arms that get worse in summer
It’s Tinea versicolor

when you shot a gun into the head and cause clot of the brain can cause stroke?
If you’ve been shot in the head, a stroke should not be one of your main concerns.

there will be bleeding from orifices
Yes, yes there will.

are criminals a superstitious cowardly lot
According to this expert they are.

polite descent
There are certainly days it feels that way.

homeopathic remedy for poison ivy
Since homeopathic remedies are nothing but water, I suggest you mix it with some soap and then use it to scrub the poison ivy sap off your skin.

do you have to take blood in med school
I submit that if you have finished medical school and never drawn blood, then you have failed and you need to reevaluate your priorities.

hi and lois porn
Damn you, Rule 34!

With summer break almost over, there’s time for one last nature-themed public service ad. This ad is about saving the wetlands and is pretty straightforward.

While I agree with the kids and the outcome of the PSA, you’d think Jim could’ve found a better choice to present his point of view to the council. Someone not so easily swayed by young kids, perhaps?

For more nature PSAs, check out Nature’s Bill of Rights, Get A Box Seat to Nature’s Wonders!, Nature’s Prize Pupil!, Nature Loves a Nature Lover!, and Teddy Roosevelt – Guardian of Nature

This PSA appeared in DC comics from March 1961. The script is by king-of-the-PSAs Jack Schiff and the darker, more angular art clearly identifies the artist as Bernard Baily.

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Tags: comics psa nature wetlands jack schiff bernard baily

Superman #702 “Grounded, Part Two”
J. Michael Straczynski, writer
Eddy Barrows, artist

This month, at least, Superman does not just walk by while someone suffers a life threatening health episode. Instead, he scoops the victim up in his arms and flies him to…some convenient aliens. And then all but extorts them to treat the man because “his condition is beyond me, beyond any Earth medicine.”

This is just too convenient for my tastes because:
1. Superman just happened to come across the previously unknown group of aliens earlier that day.
2. The aliens “cannot allow another sentient to die when it is within our power to stop it” — ignoring the fact that they just attacked and tried to kill Superman (who would, one would think, qualify as “another sentient”) not too many pages before.
3. Their alien medicine is able to cure the man of some clearly life-threatening lung disease despite the fact that the story makes a big deal about them not having lungs themselves (“layers of gills in your chest instead of lungs”).
Basically, I just find it way too convenient that random group of aliens — of a species unknown to Superman — would luckily have developed something able to treat humans at all, let along be more advanced that “Earth medicine,” when they have a very different physiology.

Still, it’s an improvement over last issue.

Just as a thought exercise, what condition could the old man have? Symptoms include cough and sudden collapse. That’s really all we have, though the story suggests the cough is dry (as opposed to productive) and chronic. Here’s my list, off the top of my head:
Severe COPD (i.e. chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, a.k.a. emphysema)
Pulmonary fibrosis
Lung Cancer
Inhaled foreign body
Asthma attack
Asbestosis (or other workplace exposure)
Severe pneumonia
Congestive heart failure (with pulmonary edema – fluid backing up into the lungs)

Of these, the most likely candidates — those “beyond any Earth medicine” — would be a very advanced cancer, asbestosis, or pulmonary fibrosis.

In More Fun Comics #90, Dr. Fate is hunting a villainous master of disguise. Fate has learned that the criminal is masquerading as a famous doctor in town for a medical convention, but he doesn’t know which doctor is the fake. What’s a master of the mystic arts to do?
Use a magical spell? No, of course not. When’s the last time Dr. Fate actually cast a spell?
Consult his crystal ball? No, too easy. Where’s the challenge in that?
Fall back on information he learned in medical school? Bingo.

On one hand, I have to admit that this is a really clever scheme. Dr. Fate is right that nitroglycerin is a common heart medication (though, technically, it’s not a heart stimulant but a vasodilator), so it works as a perfect trap for someone who’s just pretending to be a doctor and is only aware of the explosive aspect of nitroglycerin and not the medicinal one.

On the other hand, the modern physician in me is appalled by Dr. Fate’s method. The plan of sticking a needle in everyone’s hand may seem like a good idea on paper, but it’s a nightmare to anyone trained in infection control. A needle like that is a good way to spread blood-borne diseases including hepatitis or HIV. I’d hate to be the last doctor to enter the room and be exposed to everyone else’s blood.

I’ll give Dr. Fate a weak pass on this one. On the plus side, he caught the criminal through a ingenious trap. However, in the process, he exposed everyone in the room to the possibility of a nasty disease, and then he misstated the function of nitroglycerin to a room full of doctors. Good thing he was wearing his mask.

scene from Cable & Deadpool #2 (Nicieza, Udon)

Cable has just pushed his telekinetic powers “to the limit” by sucking all the mutated virus out of a terrorist (that’s the nasty blob floating the corner — the virus, that is, not the terrorist.) Meanwhile, Deadpool sneaks up and takes the opportunity to point his gun very awkwardly at Cable.

All previous Psychic Nosebleed Zen posts.

Tags: comics medicine nosebleed cable deadpool virus otorrhagia

Here in southwest Illinois, it’s the first week of school, and I’ve been saving this literature-themed public service ad for just such as occasion. Take the quiz! Are you as smart as Buzzy? (I hope so, since he’s merely a fictional character)

I like the quotes around “Famous Books” — like the writer’s not sure if they’re really famous books or not.

That last one’s extremely vague. I bet most literary heroines DID NOT marry the boy next door.

This PSA appeared in DC comics from January 1957. The script was by Jack Schiff with art by Ruben Moreira.

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Tags: comics psa buzzy books jack schiff ruben moreira

Opening scene from Ultimate Avengers 3 #1 (by Mark Millar and Steve Dillon)

It seems that Marvel has gone the “vampirism = porphyria” route in the Ultimate Universe, at least according to the latest issue of Ultimate Avengers. I’ve discussed porphyria and vampires before at length, but here’s a quick summary:

Intentional or not, Millar adds a twist. According to Blade, porphyria is a virus. Now, in the real world, porphyria is a genetic disease one is born with, and not a virus. On the other hand — purely theoretically — there could be a virus that preferentially seeks out one the genes responsible for heme production and inserts itself there, rendering the gene useless and giving the victim an acquired porphyria, which in the Ultimate Universe, equals vampirism. This virus would reproduce and be present in the vampire’s body, and there’s no reason it couldn’t be passed on to another person through, um, “traditional vampire feeding habits”. (Again, this is purely theoretical, no virus with anything near the level of specificity required by this virus exists in the real world)

Of course, assuming you accept the acquired porphyria concept (and I’m willing to, for the sake of comic book logic), porphyria on it’s best day still can’t explain the vampiric qualities exhibited in the comic. (On the other hand, you could explain them away as effects of the virus itself, but I’d want to see some impressive medical technobabble before I buy that).

Amazing Spider-Man #639 “One Moment in Time, Chapter Two: Something New”
Joe Quesada, writer
Joe Quesada, Danny Miki, Richard Isanove, art

Though I normally complain about incorrect use of the defibrillator, I also like to give credit where credit is due:
Vtach (that is, ventricular tachycardia — an abnormally fast heart rate the originates in the bottom half of the heart) is a shockable rhythm and use of a defibrillator is proper.
The algorithm they’re using is not far off from the recommended one.
They also remember that CPR is key.

So, good job, Joe Q!

Now if you want to quibble, for ventricular tachycardia you usually perform at least a cycle of CPR between shocks, and it’s rare to jump from 200J to 360J directly — but to some extent the settings depend on the defibrillator one is usung. (Not shown in the image above, but you can find it in the comic: the doctor gives up too easy and calls time of death before even trying any resuscitation medications.) These are mostly just nit-picks, though. By and large, this is an excellent job and for once it’s nice to see a defibrillator used correctly.

I’m continuing the “book” theme with this week’s comic book public service ad. In this PSA, several of DC’s second stringers (well, one second stringer and two third stringers) show up to teach the local kids how great books are.

This isn’t the only library-themed PSA to come out of DC’s public service series — who can forget the Old Sea Captain?

I suspect Tomahawk hasn’t really read The Last of the Mohicans, because as great as the underlying plot may be, nobody who’s ever read Cooper would ever mistake his writing “thrilling.”

This public service ad appeared in DC comics published in February 1951. Jack Schiff wrote the script with Win Mortimer providing the art. This particular ad was scanned in from Adventure Comics #161.

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Tags: comics psa books library green arrow tomahawk shining knight jack schiff win mortimer

Superboy, as Clark Kent, needs to get out of school so he can rush off on some sort of super errand. He decides the best way to accomplish this is fooling the doctor into thinking he has a fever so he’ll get sent home.

It would be hard to come up with a more complicated and less efficient way for Superboy to fake a fever. What about using his heat vision, or the super speed, to heat the thermometer to 102°? Plus, that way you manage to avoid the myriad flaws of his original plan (for instance: How did he dispose of the toxic mercury? What if the doctor didn’t have red ink? Not to mention, Superboy ruined a perfectly good thermometer. “That’s strange, every single student I’ve seen today has had a temperature of 102°!”)

scene from More Fun Comics #98

How is artificial ice different from real ice, and why would you want it in pill form?

scene from New Mutants #8

Karma learns that trying to control the mind of a dead person doesn’t work very well (clearly she had forgotten that undead are immune to sleep and charm effects).

All previous Psychic Nosebleed Zen posts.

Tags: comics medicine nosebleed karma new mutants

It has been brought to my attention that in my complete review of Hawk and Dove appearances, I never got around to looking at Secret Origins #43, written by Karl and Barbara Kesel, which ties the original Hawk and Dove into the Kesel’s Hawk and Dove mythology.

The story opens with Barter — sometime ally, sometime enemy — researching Hawk and Dove by looking through old newspaper articles that refer to some of the duo’s original adventures¹. He can’t find the information he wants and realizes that the details he needs can only be learned from someone more intimately involved with the pair. He heads to a prison outside Washington DC where he talks to one of the mobsters present when Hawk and Dove made their first appearance.² From this conversation, he realizes that Judge Hall and his sons Hank and Don are somehow connected to Hawk and Dove. Barter heads off to the warehouse the mobster told him about, the warehouse Hank and Don were locked up in and where Hawk and Dove first appeared. Using some Ghostbuster-ish equipment, Barter is able to piece together what happened: how a strange voice (or was it voices?) offered powers to Hank and Dove in order to save their father. They agreed, and Hawk and Dove were born.

A short time later, back at his shop, Barter greets Child, one of the Lords of Chaos. In return for a piece of his crystalline companion Flaw, Child gives Barter a magical device that allows him to access specific memories related to Hawk and Dove. Barter witnesses an idyllic land where a golden knight does battle with a horrible dragon time and time again. Sometimes the knight is killed, sometimes the dragon. Regardless, the battle rages on. Barter learns that these are no ordinary combatants, but Terataya, a Lord of Order, and Tcharr, a Lord of Chaos. After ages of battle, they decide to call a truce and work together, something which has never happened before in all the history of Order and Chaos. The pair begins work on an “experiment” and they find two promising specimens on Earth: Hank and Don Hall. Each of the brother is given power by the Lords of Order and Chaos. At first the results seem promising, but then Don starts deferring too much to his brother Hank, and Dove begins exhibiting touches of Chaos. It comes to a head when Dove starts a fight after he thinks Hawk has been killed³. Tcharr and Terataya decide that for the good of their experiment, the Dove powers must be stripped from Don and given to a new candidate: Dawn Granger. Unfortunately for Don, he was in a precarious situation and was killed when he lost his powers.⁴

Just as Barter feels he is starting to understand Hawk and Dove better, Tcharr himself (herself? itself?) appears in Barter’s shop – it is his memories that Barter has been accessing. Barter agrees to return the memories, but only if Tcharr tells him why he and Terataya created Hawk and Dove.

“Because we are in love,” replies the Lord of Chaos. He refuses to answer any more questions and flies off into the night, leaving Barter more determined than ever to use Hawk and Dove for his own ends.

While this story does a good job linking the history of Hawk and the original Dove to the new Dove, it gives too much away too soon. The history and true origin of Hawk and Dove are better discovered slowly – a little learned here and there until the final reveal in the journey to Druspa Tau in issues #14 to #17. It’s a much more powerful story that way. Spelled out in its entirety here (especially this early in the series’ run), it loses much of its emotional strength.

The art is inconsistent. For example, for the first several pages, Barter is drawn without his trademark mustache and it took several pages to discover who the character was supposed to be.

Speaking of Barter, it was nice to see more of him and learn a little more about his curse (He was cursed by a power higher than that of Chaos and Order that he can never take or give an object or information; a trade must always take place). I’m surprised no other writer has taken up the character since the demise of the Hawk & Dove series.

Though it was strongly hinted at in Hawk & Dove (mini-series) #5, this comic makes it clear: the loss of his powers directly led to the death of Don.

The story sheds new light on the creation of Hawk and Dove. They didn’t gain powers, as generally thought, that reinforced abilities and beliefs they already had — instead Hank and Don were chosen because they fit the powers.

Hawk is listed as only 5′10″ and 181 lbs. That seems mighty short for Hank, let alone Hawk.

It is Tcharr here, but T’Charr in later issues of Hawk & Dove (I prefer the former. I loathe the unfortunate habit of fantasy and science-fiction authors to throw useless apostrophes in character’s names just to seem “alien.”)

This week’s comic book public service ad is Superboy in “Happy Hobby Time!” — or as I like to call it: Superboy’s sweatshop. He’s got to pay for all those Superboy robots somehow…

This PSA was published twice, first in DC comics from May 1952, and then again thirteen years later in comics from June 1965. This wasn’t the first hobby PSA either, who can forget “Learn From Your Hobbies!”

This PSA was written by Jack Schiff with Win Mortimer providing the art.

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Tags: comics psa superboy hobbies jack schiff win mortimer

Even doctors in the 1020th century still wear head mirrors.